July, 2004
July, 2004
..In the it pays to advertise department, nephew
Ridge embarks on a three day sitting assignment courtesy of the professional
look of the 
page. Let the record show that an invoice in the amount of
25¢ for advertising services rendered has been sent to the boy. This is
the first revenue billed (and probably the first collections account) by Suttle
World as it approaches its one year anniversary. The way I see it, I now
only need to sell several millions shares of stock in Suttle World at $15-20 a
share. Hey, it works for Amazon. We lose money on every sale, but we
make it up in volume.
...I've got to believe that the Fahrenheit 911 movie must violate some campaign finance "reform" law somewhere. Not that it should, especially since its a message from the left, but with all the various censorship laws with which we merrily live... The fact that it was number 1 at the box office this weekend goes a long way in explaining why I've been in a movie theater exactly twice in the past two decades. It goes without saying that Moore is a misguided child-like propagandist, but I bet he'd be a lot more fun to hang with at the Claremont than say, oh, Alan Greenspan/"stereotypical" white "establishment" guy of your choice.
...Many thanks to Steve and Kay Libman for their hospitality last night. Always delightful company, it was a pleasure to finally visit their lovely mid-town home, feast on a wonderful repast and Balderdash a bit. Even mo better is that they seem to have a genuine interest in this host a murder mystery party thing that we've never gotten around to. Details as they develop.
...Though the banner for her engagement pics was taken down, we certainly haven't forgotten Karen and John, nor removed said pictorial. Unnamed sources report that divine Ms. K is absolutely ape ...errrr bananas over the wedding. This is good, and Yo and I continue to wish yoose guys (couldn't decide on the fly whether it was she or her and John---and for this I have a college education???) the very best.
The new 
page is up and running with the schedule for The
Summer 2004 Fun Extravaganza. I cannot emphasize enough that space is
limited, so book early.
...Bravo, Mr. Vice President! In fact I've got a laundry list of Senators to whom I would like you to address similar comments. Could it be calculated by Republicans as the beginning of the end---the loose cannon/poor health/distraction to the war on terrorism---"sorry I can't in good conscience run again..." strategy that let's Chaney step aside, allow for a Rice or Giuliani to take the torch and become Republican heir apparent in 2008 (assuming the President is re-elected---far from a given)? The previous sentence has been submitted to the Pulitzer Committee for consideration in the category of Most Tedious/Hoffic Effort--Non Fiction.
...Bravo, Zell! This crazy old uncle shtick is working well, probably due in large part to the fact that Zell is right. It certainly gives one a reason to actually look forward to a speech at the infomercials that pass as national conventions.
...Going to begin diligent work on the primary election starting today. You know the drill: I decide, you vote accordingly and nobody gets hurt. At this point I can give one edict---DO NOT VOTE FOR CYNTHIA MCKINNEY! Federal law compels me at this point to inform you that this paragraph was paid for in part by a conspiracy of Jews (that's spelled J-E-W) and Indians (the Bombay/Patel/motel owning kind as opposed to the casino/big wampum/fire water Injuns). It is the stated goal of Suttle World to find some manner in which to deliberately and with malice of forethought violate some portion of McCain/Feingold merely through words, images or sounds published on this web site. I'll take a jury trial please, your honor.
...Speaking of free speech...I never got around to writing that letter to the FCC. Perhaps that was fortuitous in that we now know that free speech only costs $1.75 million---the fine agreed to by Clearchannel for words uttered over the airwaves by some of their former employees. For the record these words did not incite riots, rather they "offended." If you're not offended and downright frightened by that notion, I shall explain why you should be in great detail soon.
...With the first pick in the post Pete Babcock era, the Atlanta Hawks select Josh Childress, junior forward (a three---potential four) from Stanford. Kid has a great fro and the Stanford connection leads one to believe he's got some smarts. Assuming he signs, that will make a total of five Atlanta Hawks under contract. I know the rules say you can only play five at a time, but having a few extras on the bench is considered by many to be a good idea. Again, I'll give em a chance.
...In the you just can't make it up department we have two news stories that speak for themselves. First we have judge in Oklahoma banging his gavel under the bench. And then a feud between the Dali Lama and PETA. In their own bizarre disjointed ways, both go to further prove the dog food theory of life. Those unfamiliar with said theory may find a reference below; otherwise check the archives.
...Despite my prognostications of what a disaster the Olympics will be this summer in Athens, it may also be my big show biz break. I may be the only American not yet disqualified from track and field competition. I'm thinking the 100 meters. It doesn't take too long (for the other competitors that is). And when is Wiffle Ball going to be added as at least an exhibition sport? No more silly than synchronized swimming, ballroom dancing, rhythmic gymnastics, et al. NBC is going wall to wall with coverage through their various TV outlets, which is great if they show the really cool events---badminton, table tennis, team handball. A diminished role for the homoerotic events would also be appreciated along with the mind numbingly dull standards of swimming, gymnasitics, etc...
...I have a crisp $100 bill for every human who reads every word on all 957 pages of Bill Clinton's book---described by one pundit (who like everyone else had only read "portions") as much like being locked in a room with an overly enthusiastic chap describing every entry his day planner in great detail dating back to 1946. Interviewer: Do you feel bad for Monica? A: Yes, I feel terrible for her, because, as she said, she was betrayed by her best friend and then got caught up in all this media frenzy..." Reckon the president hasn't gotten around to feeling bad about ruining a young woman's life. But when all is said and done there is no one to blame but myself and my fellow members of the vast right wing conspiracy. Mrs. Clinton explained it all to us on the Today Show a number of years ago. Three shows nightly at a Barnes and Nobles near you; and, hey, try the veal.
...Highly recommended listening---The Dead Boys Younger, Louder and Snottier. Its a re-release of their 1977 debut album (Young, Loud and Snotty)---not a re-mix, but a different mix than that which was originally released from the same recording session. It is more raw (if that is possible) and well worth the $12 from Bomp Records. They have lot's of old punk stuff. Cool site. Great customer service. The Master Plan (Shernoff/Dictators) CD is available there as well.
...I am loath to comment on court rulings about which I have little knowledge of the specific facts and law involved; and this was a 9-0 decision. But let me get this straight. A cop asks my name. I refuse, and that is now cause for arrest. The cop arrests me. Having watched many episodes of Law and Order, I know that having properly secured the suspect, the first thing the cop is going to do is read me my Miranda rights, the first of which is that I have the right to remain silent. The cop is telling me I have the right to be silent because I was arrested for being silent? This had to be one of those "naked Johnnie on the pony" games explained by PJ O'Rourke as a possible manner the court uses to decide cases. Bob Woodward dedicated an entire book to the fact that we know for certain that we don't know squat about how the court operates. Speaking of which, the noble Libertarian in me wishes to distance to judicial branch from political influence, but the reality of the matter is that at least two, perhaps three---including Chief Justice Rehnquist, will step down in the very near future---as in the next administration. Did I mention I went to 6th grade with Nancy Rehnquist---Winston Churchill Elementary School, McLean, VA (Fairfax County)?
...All returned from the below mentioned camping adventure in good stead, with lots o fun being enjoyed by all. Nephew Ridge made only a brief appearance, departing with buddy Nathan (the kid who's very fortunate I didn't tell Swartzberg about a certain pricey Fender being on premises in his/their absence) to the rolling horse farmland of Alpharetta. Bucolic congestion---only in Atlanta. The only casualties were suffered immediately prior to and after the trip, with poor Yolanda having to tend to tencho gremlins/a-holes (third party a-holes, not colleagues) at work on her "vacation" days.
...Diplomacy may be getting ugly. The Turk may not be content with a draw, setting the stage for a clash of the titans. Those few who have followed the exploits already know how to get the details. Those who might be interested (and it is the best strategy web based game going---for free) can email for more info.
... Had some small but mandatory electrical work to affect this week. With a huge leap of faith, we succumbed to the advertising borage and called Mr. Sparky. The service was as advertised. Fair price, very professional from set up to follow up call about service. Those in the hood who need an electrician are encouraged to email me, I've got coupons that get both user and referrer/me $25. Bottom line---a little over $200 to replace a breaker in panel, install GFI outlet and cover for our outdoor outlet. Seemed quite reasonable, and one certainly can't argue with a $50 service call charge from a real electrician.
...Just a good time had by all. Comrade Waring arrived in a timely fashion Thursday evening. Soon we were joined by Moke, fresh from closing on his home purchase, and Mr. Bill. A little food, Balderdash (won, by the comeback kid, Waring himself) and more importantly continuous conversation about nothing of any significance. Just the way I wanted it, enhanced by the knowledge brother Paul will be in town several times a month. While we certainly understand we can't be fit into the schedule on every trip, there is a Wiffle Ball/loading docks kinda thing in the future. A few old fart pics here.
...Speaking of pics, not included in the newest garden slide show is a lonely artichoke plant that was originally one of three planted two years ago when we were still in the vegetable gardening business. The area has been cleared for another purpose, but the lone artichoke plant continued to thrive and allowed to survive for shear novelty. The plant produced nearly a dozen flowers this year---the ugly green softballs we try to eat. If left unpicked, the flower blooms. Behold such flowers.
...Did I mention inter-league play cannot suck enough?
...Cubbies page has been updated. They win the pennant, by finishing first with 12-5-1 regular season record. Playoffs start Monday. Looking for the repeat.
..It is with great anticipation that we look forward to a brief reunion with cousin Paul (Waring, of PHS fame) as he comes to town on alleged business. His visit coincides with the long awaited closing of Moke's newly acquired home, but sharp management on this end should enable the events to dove tail as well as one could reasonably expect. There has been discussion of Wiffle Ball, or some such grandiose happening, but more demure surroundings will be equally enjoyable.
...The Roberts Garden pics have been updated. To see the oh so impressive slide show, click the link a the top of this page.
...What I learned from the Socialist Workers Convention in Boston last week: we hope that help is on the way (isn't part of that "I'm from the government and I'm here to help?"). Again, my friends, I ask for whom would Osama vote?
...Yes, boys and girls, we sign off for the remainder of July, as the 2004 Summer Fun Extravaganza begins. I could try to continue publishing while on the road, but your always ready for action web dude requires a respite from time to time. Many pics and stories to swap upon our return. Thanks again to all those pitching in to house and animal sit.
...At least for me this is a gee-wiz story. Yo has been using Virgin as her cell provider for over a year now. They are pre paid. You buy the phone for $60 (comes with $20 worth of time built in) and then buy "calling cards" to re-up rather pricey minutes. It worked well in that she doesn't use the phone much and has had no contract. Several days ago the phone dies. Seems as though Virgin would kick back most of the cost of a new phone (in minutes) for remaining a loyal customer, but no, she had to go back and buy another $60 phone and basically start from scratch. By Yo's account she was spending about $25 a month on the phone, so I went searching for alternatives. Long story short is that we went with Cingular, but the really cool part is the manner in which it was affected. I compared plans (1869 for this area code) on a plan comparison/buy site (cellupdate.com), picked Cingular, picked out the free phone and paid the extra $15 for overnight shipping because we were headed out of town. Bottom line: I clicked "submit" to order the phone and plan at 9:30 Monday morning. Tuesday afternoon about 2:00 the door bell rang---FedEx with the phone---fully activated/set up, requiring only a charge. That's 17 hours from click to delivery (from Texas!) and 20 hours from click to talking on the new phone. Amazing! And I could watch the whole process from the comfort of Suttle World Headquarters, both the transaction as it moved through the chain of command and tracking the shipment. Another thing, the only charge/cost to date has been the $15 for FedEx. Cingular will begin billing us in regular cycles. Yeah, its a one year contract, but at $30/mo...
...Rumor has it that a local man deposited $15 in an online casino account earlier this week, and that his current balance stands at around $1,007. The reports were not confirmed, but, if true, the man in question is both an outstanding blackjack player and one lucky bastard. All without being able to double down on 9's too.
...Alas, though I received an immediate flood of support from my e-campaign, I failed to win a single one of the various races in which I sought your vote in yesterday's primary. Just wait til November. Meanwhile, Ms. Bozo Goes Back to Washington. As loathsome as McKinney's win is (Democrat will win the 4th District for those not from around here), it should come as a great relief to Sheila Jackson Lee who can now be replaced as the official House vegetable. And once again I have no representation in Congress---not that its anything new, having lived in the 5th with John Lewis for over a decade, but he's an American hero, voting record notwithstanding. My hunch about Denise Majette would appear to be close to the mark. She did much better than I expected yesterday. She'll get beaten like a baby seal by Johnny Isaacson, but build statewide name recognition when Saxby's seat is up in two years.
...As one can well imagine, the pace is frantic at Suttle World Headquarters on the eve of the 2004 Summer Fun Extravaganza. The control freak in me has taken over, to the point that dining in Greensboro and Richmond has been nailed down along with several activities not listed on the already posted schedule. A recent addition is the chance to catch Drive By Truckers in Richmond Saturday night. Jessica and Ridge highly recommended them, but the deal maker was word from brother Rob in Wisconsin (charter member of the Hillbilly Dictators Jihad) who says they have become one of his top 10 bands. And this from a man who knows the B side of every single released since 1957. Will review in the Extravaganza's post mortem.
...Thanks in advance to cousin Bill for watching the house/dogs/cat in our absence. Its greatly appreciated. No doubt the ladies down the street will get in on the act at some point, and to you guys, we are equally appreciative, as are the dogs.
...UPDATE---Inspired by my early morning trip to the polls, I urge everyone to write me in! Here in DeKalb, the last 10-12 races provided for a write in candidate and with a touch screen its easy to type GENE SUTTLE. Do it! Write In Gene 2004! We'll be watching the results come in tonight at Suttle World Headquarters. Vote for me---early and often!!!!
...Well, its official. The Dictators are going to come out and play along with 35 other bands in Little Stevie's garage thing August 14 on Long Island. The lineup is rather impressive, including The Fleshtones, The New York Dolls and Iggy and the Stooges. Don't think we'll make a punkapalooza in NYC in August. It is regretful in that brother Rob will be attending from Wisconsin along with Sal. The conventional wisdom is that everybody kissed and made up in time to do the Euro thing this fall---where they make worthwhile bucks. U.S. fans may suffer the remainder of the year or at least well into the fourth quarter unless they decide to play a few more gigs before heading across the pond. Details on the August 14 show here.
...Erection Day or something like that. The only race of any consequence is the Democratic contest for the fourth Congressional District. NO CYNTHIA MCKINNEY PLEASE!!!!!!!! Also, due to last week's electrical problems, I was unable to affect the launch of the Write In Gino for Judge campaign, but its not too late. My sample ballot shows a write in option in each judicial race. Write me in for every one of those suckers GENE SUTTLE. I can bang my gavel with the best of em. If a similar opportunity presents itself in the general election this November, rest assured a more concerted effort will be undertaken. Picks: Levitan and McKinney runoff; Isaacson and Cain runoff. Speaking of which...this is true culture shock. Friday I dropped Yolanda off at work and took the Hajmobile in for service. Upon completion I made my way back across town and stopped for lunch. In the Chik-Fil-A on Holcomb Bridge were about a dozen white kids (average age 18) each wearing bright red Herman Cain for Senate t-shirts and preparing for a hard afternoon of campaigning. Inside baseball for non-Georgians, but me thinks the times they are a changin.
...Another experience from the above auto adventure was a pant wetting yuck that I shall relate later. I fear that neighbor Cindy may stumble across it and be caused great discomfort as she continues to recover from some sinus/head surgery earlier in the week. I would think one would still be a bit too tender for a belly laugh at this stage. I will tease with this: "Go number 3!" And did I have that oxycodone cocktail nailed or what?
...Braves are smokin. Beat Phillie handily last night. I want to adopt Charles Thomas and have him move into my house. The kid is ungodly. And those who want to move Andruw, please see the base hit he took away in the 8th last night. His defense changes so many situations in so many games as to be indispensable. Again, I say move Chipper if you're gonna make a big deal.
...Big ups to Todd Hamilton. "A Cinderella story..." as the overrated movie goes. Great because a grinder wins a major showing amazing grace under fire and greater cause he's almost old---38. The final round of The Open Championship lived up to its exalted position of one of sports' greatest spectacles. Also thanks to Moke for his hospitality yesterday. New house is lovely with great comfy living potential.
...NECKAR address the end the race on a caution, sort of! Hey, at least they're trying to figure something out; and the shortened/suspended game rule in baseball is the rule book's most stupid and would be changed immediately were I commissioner (after the DH of course). But while I'm feeling charitable to the Ricky, Ernie and Dale crowd (why do all drivers have to be named one of the previously mentioned?), you're good intentions in altering the points system shows again that you're heart is in the right place, but we're still left with Chinese arithmetic. Here's a wild idea. How about a money list? Works for golf, the silly ranking system notwithstanding.
...I got my pennant race and I love my ball club! Though the Braves are at times infuriating in they're failure to execute fundamentals, they're fun to watch. Fun to watch hungry kids who have enough sense to know the great times usually only last one trip around the league.
...Sorry, simply too busy with The Open Championship and preparing for the 2004 Summer Fun Extravaganza to deal with you folks right now. Not that there aren't the usual supply of genius takes, it just that one man can only do so much.
...Blessed relief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All is well again with the electrical service at Suttle World Headquarters. I shall spare you the gory details, but if you do not call Good Electrical Corp. for repair work, you are doing yourself a disservice. They were the final of about half a dozen bids and well worth the wait. Email me for details. In the small world department, the company's owner, Mark Good, rented this house some 8 years ago!
...Lot's to catch up on...The big event of the weekend, the return of a/c notwithstanding, is, of course, The Open Championship. It is the forth, perhaps last of the high holy sports days on the calendar. Yeah, its a fer piece til NFL conference championship Sunday, but there's lot's o fun in between. Sunday morning coffee and golf---it don't get not better than that. Plans now call for me to enjoy the final round while visiting the newly acquired home of brother Moke. I'll have the advantage of watching the leaders finish on a course he has played---an accomplishment I cannot claim (playing a track that has hosted a major) and hope to remedy (Pinehurst 2 is the best bet). Actually that's not entirely true, I believe some women's bigee was played at Pine Isle a few years ago---maybe the USGA women's amateur.
...First hand reports have neighbor Cindy convalescing as comfortably as can be expected. We stand at the ready to assist in any way possible and continue to wish her a speedy recovery. And did I nail that cocktail thing or what?
...Just a few thoughts about niece Jessica, who gets little mention among these rants. She is an entering freshman this fall at Georgia Southern University. Yes, that will put her among the most insufferable group of folks on the planet: college students. Regardless, this is a very impressive young lady who has carried a bit more of a load than most of her peers. This trial by fire has been regrettable in some ways, but made for a more mature and well reasoned 18 year old (as compared the average 18 year old bear). In the for what its worth department, my advice would be to take a deep breath and give the college experience thing a shot for a while. Me thinks the future is very bright. And me is sure we got you're back one way or the other.
...While handing out props to the aforementioned snotty set, congrats to neighbor Clay Muirfield who will be entering The Citadel this fall. Clay had his pick of several schools interested in his football prowess. Your choice shows some serious sack, and you get a really neat hair cut in the bargain.
...Its just too early to get into the presidential race in any great detail---not that you need a slide rule to begin with. I ask the indulgence of the gentle surfer to allow the 2004 Summer Fun Extravaganza play out before getting serious. In the meantime, don't forget the primary Tuesday! Please do whatever you can to keep Cynthia McKinney out of Congress! (legally of course). Again, whoever comes out of this district is going to have a liberal Democrat voting record, but it doesn't have to be the poster child for public embarrassments.
...Best wishes for a speedy recovery to neighbor Cindy. Your rhino rooting gig will no doubt prove uncomfortable, but provide blessed long term relief from the many vagaries confronted by the soft tissue impaired. A shot of oxycodone with a distilled water and hydrogen peroxide chaser could really catch on as the boilermaker of this century.
...Apologies to DUFFLE owners if they have tried and not found promised info on the DUFFLE page. Things now appear to be right with the world. The Commissioner's Note regarding proposed dates, etc... is up and there for the reading
...Progress! Progress I tell you. One estimate this morning and another at 8:00 am Wednesday, would leave all at Suttle World Headquarters expecting full resumption of service by week's end at the latest. The original pledge of a return to action as of today was delayed in that we believe the original estimate for the work necessary to be twice the going "rate" for work done by the average honest to God electrician/electrical contractor.
...Though it goes without saying, this small ac bump in the road will not deter the 2004 Summer Fun Extravaganza in any manner. Just over a week to go.
...The vacation for the gentle surfer is extended due to electrical issues at Suttle World Headquarters. Repairs will be affected in the next few days. In the interim we are greatly restricted to amount of load that can be used at any given time. Me thinks publication will be sporadic until full power is restored, and then we will comes the 2004 Summer Fun Extravaganza. A few precious spots remains open. Email for details.
...A quick thanks to all the neighbors and friends who have offered "shelter from the warm" over the past several days. Actually indoor climate is manageable at present---not exactly comfortable, but manageable. Anywho---we're much obliged at your kind offers and hospitality
..Hey, everyone needs a little light reading while on vacation, so chew on this as distasteful as it may be. The Edwards pick was much akin to the Smarty Jones deal, a prohibitive favorite to get the nod, so no gloating here on getting it right---although given my notoriously poor record in political prognostication I should. Regardless, as the media frenzy continues, the gentle surfer is reminded that only the candidate's mothers vote according to who is on the bottom of any ticket. And no, much like Gore, Edwards won't carry his home state.
...And while we're on the campaign bus, allow me to share with you the one thing I've learned so far this election year. The difference between annulment and excommunication is entirely dependant on how much cash one brings to the altar.
...Only remote access to publish in the day time hours this week, so you are spared of inane rants for now. Hey, everybody needs a vacation, this one is for the gentle surfer.
...Reckon today (Monday) is the holiday day of the holiday weekend. Those looking ahead on the calendar will note that Christmas and New Year's fall on Saturday's, making for the long weekend holiday---no doubt the overwhelming choice of the masses. Independence Day was a quiet affair at Suttle World HQ---deliberately so and enjoyed by both.
...YEAH OLD FOLKS! Those with any familiarity with the game could tell the golf gods had anointed Meg Mallon to repeat as US Open Champion long before the first group teed off Sunday. 65 works every time. Yes, Michelle Wie will play on the PGA tour with regularity and won't be the lone rangerette either. Unless it becomes necessary to hit it 350 off the tee, there's no reason why she and several other up and comers can't compete with the boys. And given that golf has figured out that making tracks longer only plays further into the hands of the big hitters, the 350 yard scenario appears unlikely.
...Memo to Sox Nation: Yo mama! A question as well, you run off a perfectly good manager for Francona who plays the infield in with Furcal at bat? We appreciate the lovely parting gift that kept the 9 run fifth inning motoring along nicely, but that's just stupid. Right up there with leaving a barely ambulatory Bill Buckner in the game...another error made in the dugout, not on the field. Now the red hot Braves move from inter-league play to San Juan to...don't get me started...
...As of this Monday morning writing, I still don't know who won Wimbledon and still don't care. No doubt I'll catch word in passing at some point in the next day or so. I was being hyperbolic about the 150 MPH serves. Roddick didn't get it above 145 in the few points I watched in the first set (or didn't watch---see below vision issue).
...I only ask that you read the Declaration (1997 words) and leave it at that for political discussion on Independence Day. Instead I turn to the world of sports. Like the rest of the world, I have no interest in tennis, but Saturday's women's finals at Wimbledon was the epitome of class---a level to which all sport should aspire. The Russian kid was a truly only in America kind of deal, and Serena was as graceful in defeat as humanly possible. And it took less than 90 minutes. Of equal quality is the women's US Open. Here, of course, we pull for old folks in the form of 41 year old Meg Mallon. Regardless, the display of skill in true Open conditions by these gals is incredible and every bit as exciting to watch as the boys. Final round coverage begins today at 3:00 on NBC. Yeah, you can flip back and forth with the Western Open because Tiger's in contention, but the chicks rule this weekend. At this writing the men's Wimbledon final has yet to start. I'll opt for the usual talking heads instead, because 1) even on a holiday weekend, they'll be infinitely more interesting than a tennis match whose longest rally will be four strokes, and 2) I can see the talking heads. I cannot see 150 MPH serves of yellow balls on brown grass---literally, with or without vision correction.
...Coach K to LA? I neglected to inquire of the chatter along tobacco road during a phone conversation with dear old dad yesterday, but the questions may prove more interesting than the answers. The most notable question is where's Kryzewski? My off the cuff take is that the chances of him giving up a $5 million a year gig (just a guess on his AGI, but probably not far off) running a prestigious institution of higher learning and its basketball program for the uncertainty of Lakerland are nil. More specifically, is it merely coincidental that a new president took over at Duke July 1, and Kryzewski is using his deafening silence to prove who's really in charge in Durham? But I must admit, the possibility of Kryzewski working for Mitch Kupchak is rather appealing.