©Mitch Industries, 2003

 

Mission Statement
Twain wrote: "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."  With that in mind please allow me to show you the neat little periodically illuminated jar with holes punched in the lid for air that is Suttle World.


 Huge, Giant, Colossal, Big Time Suttle World Announcement---Click for details
 
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
       
Mr. Eraser just keeps coming up with good ideas.  As  opposed to deleting these sage rants, why not archive them for  generations to come?
          Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing Archives

March 9, 2010

...The White House and congressional Democrats running Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) out of town with rumors of a sex scandal to get rid of a Dem who wasn't going to go along with a health deform bill is nothing new or disturbing.  The fact that the main stream media makes no reference to the ultimate in hard ball intra-party politics is alarming.

...The mighty fighting Colonials travel to play Dayton tonight in the first round of the Atlantic 10 Tournament.  The Flyers, a notoriously tough team on their home court, went 14-2 in Dayton so far this season.  If a tornado strikes the arena, and the game is moved to Georgia Tech---played before 37 people, GW has a shot, otherwise, its say goodnight, Gracie on the 2009-10 season.  Cornel, East Tennessee, Murray State, Northern Iowa, Old Dominion, Siena, Winthrop, Wofford and big upset winner Saint Mary's have all secured bids in the NCAA tournament by virtue of having won their respective conferences' championships.

March 8, 2010

...Given Suttle World hasn't darkened the doors of a movie theater in over 15 years, last night's little award show on the west coast is of absolutely no interest at all to Suttle World.

...The long and thrilling birthday weekend continues today with yet more de-moving activities up to and including an attempt to obtain driving privileges from the great state of North Carolina.

...Fortunately for the gentle surfer, another flat morning update is rescued as cuzin Matt can step to the plate and gets the week off to a big start with yet another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes.

...The record will show that it was thirty-nine years ago tonight that Joe Frazier won a unanimous decision over Muhammad Ali at Madison Square Garden in their first of three epic heavyweight championship fights.

March 7, 2010

...Let the word come forth with the fanfare of a thousand trumpets that today marks bride of Suttle World's successful completion of yet another full orbit of the sun.  The stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 is busily at work preparing for the days festivities that are scheduled to include furniture moving, box unpacking and a trip out of the cave to forage in a social manner this evening.

...Speaking of foraging (Suttle World:  always the master of the segue), Suttle World speculates that many creatures great and small will forage about on this Sunday that is forecast to enjoy sunny skies and a high nearing 60°---the first of its type in nearly three months.  Remnants of snow are becoming more difficult to find, but some have warned local authorities that they are fully armed with a northerly exposure, and plan to hold out until June.

...Bring on the tourneys!  West Virginia's win in overtime over Villanova in Philly yesterday afternoon was proof positive that college basketball provides the best chance of a thriller as compared to any other sport each time a contest starts.  Carolina and GW had dreadful Saturdays, while #1 Syracuse went down at the hands of Louisville.

...Less than 200 miles to the south, Wiffle Atlanta, is meeting for an impromptu work out at Medlock Park around 2:00 this afternoon.  In related news, Commissioner Jordan has announced his resignation from the league effective this season.  A five year long full-time job of getting the league up and running have been a smashing success, and Jordan now moves on to pursue more pressing matters.  Meanwhile, cuzin Blaine Milam has picked up the reins, and will, no doubt, do a stellar job in this, Wiffle Atlanta's sixth season.

...Suttle World shouldn't be handing out munitions for the short bus, opposition crowd.  Using reconciliation to jam through a health deform bill isn't a nuclear option, its a kamikaze mission.  Do the unthinkable on this bill, and the unthinkable of losing majorities in both chambers is highly likely.  In contrast, letting the process run its course will result in no hideous law for Republicans to run against this fall.

March 6, 2010

...Suttle World is most pleased to see dawn arriving on an earlier schedule, and absolutely dreads next weekend, when clocks that operate perfectly well, will be set ahead one hour, and push back sunrise until sometime just after 10:30.  Suttle World has always been simply annoyed at the practice of daylight saving time, but now there appears to be some empiricism to the point.  A 2009 Michigan State University published by the American Psychological Association study showed that DST has adverse effects on the American workplace.

..."One-Adam 12.  One-Adam 12.  Be on the lookout for a 459 suspect, described as a sumo wrestler carrying an ATM."  That was evidently the call over Moscow Police radio this week.  Sumo dude just threw the 200 lb ATM on his shoulder and started shlepping away from a Moscow shopping mall---the original home of the ATM.  Police made the arrest as sumo dude and an accomplice tried to load it into a car.

...A number of media sources are now contradicting Suttle World's certainty that Tiger will make his return to golf at Augusta.  Word on the street has The Masters quietly requesting that he not make it his first event, so as to avoid any tawdry attention.  Come to think of it, the guy who created the greatest sign in sports' history:  "Martha [Burk], Iron My Shirt!," outside Augusta National might come up with something equally clever.  Bottom line:  Suttle World got it wrong.  The same sources are also indicating that Woods will return at Arnie's Bay Hill Classic.

...Its the last weekend of for the regular season of most of college hoops, with the lesser leagues already playing tournaments to determine the traditional list of 6-8 Chaminades that end up in the brackets every year.  And although a down year for the Tar Heels, its still Carolina at Duke tonight at 9:00 (ESPN).  Meanwhile, the mighty fighting Colonials of GWU drop to (16-12, 6-9) with a loss to the Aspirins of St. Joseph's earlier this week.  The Colonials have the privilege of ending their season on the road in Philly against 20th ranked Temple.  Still, GW appears destined to finish in the top 12 of the Atlantic 10 Conference, and earn an entry into their own conference's tournament.  Memo to Karl Hobbs:  coach, you may want to keep an empty cardboard box in the trunk just in case. 

...Suttle World extends its most fervent apologies for not having beat NECKCAR about the head and shoulders.  "The Super Bowl" of racing that is the famed Daytona 500 is thwarted by a pot hole in the super speedway?!!!!!  Suttle World asks the gentle surfer to consider this announcement before the start of the real Super Bowl:  "Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please.  Due to a large pot hole in the center of the field, only about a half of today's Super Bowl game will count, and the contest will take eight and half hours to complete.  Thank you."  A pot hole?!!!!!  Sure, there were pot holes o plenty for Braves and Falcons to navigate at the old Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, but that didn't count, because no Brave or Falcon of that era ever got a whiff of anything Super Bowl like.  Yes, basketball has had roof leaks, and hockey has confronted serious fog issues during Stanley Cup games, but those were fixed by tearing down the old arenas and installing amenities such as HVAC, and that was over thirty years ago!  A pot hole?!!!!!!  Suttle World really enjoys those yellow flags too.  Yep, nothing like watching a competition being played out, even though it doesn't really count---sorta like watching a first baseman toss infield for an hour.  A pot hole?!!!  Danica Patrick doesn't exactly do it for Suttle World either.  Sure she's a hottie, but in the driver's gear she looks like just another 40 or so waiting for the command: "Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!"

March 5, 2010

...Suttle World believes the children are our dinner, up to and including the typically tougher and stringier cuts from college students.  Memo to Golden State higher education protestors:  shut up and pay up.

...The final score from last night's contest in Arlington:  Pentagon Police 1 Nut Case 0.

...The Friday morning to do list is a tad longer in Suttle World this Friday, so it once again mails in an update in a less than scintillating week of commentary.

March 4, 2010

...Its Thursday morning story time in Suttle World. In a neighboring county near to that in which stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 is situated, one of the few large employers, a stone mill, closed last week, eliminating the final 80 jobs that numbered over 300 in the company's hay days.  Meanwhile, the county's largest town will see a 60 year long business close on an already mostly vacant main street due to a lack of traffic.  Unemployment is around 40%, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  Suttle World does not find this little story (one repeated many times in smaller, rural communities across the country) to be sad.  Suttle World finds it infuriating.  Twas taxes and regulation that killed the economy.  The Obama administration seem to believe that the current 10% unemployment rate can be solved by government extending grants to grow organic arugula in an energy efficient manner.  Suttle World would suggest a different strategy.  Get rid of the damn federal income tax, NOW!  A repeal of the 16th Amendment is the greatest of all possible stimulus packages.

...Jack Nicklaus tells reporters that he thinks Tiger will make his return at Augusta next month.  Really?  Does a golden bear poop in the woods?  Of course Woods will return to play the Masters (if he returns at all this year).  First, its a major, and aside from the babes, majors are all Tiger really cares about.  Second, and even more importantly, Woods can come back on Augusta National and avoid any ugly remarks from the gallery that would be summarily executed by an old guy in an ugly green jacket, armed with an automatic weapon.  These geezers frown on patrons passing gas, much less making some idiotic remark, and losing their badges for a lifetime.

March 3, 2010

...While some areas near stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 received up to nine inches of snowfall yesterday, the Manor itself recorded approximately a half foot of the white stuff.  Local schools are closed today, and secondary roads are nearly impassable from the refreeze overnight.  Consequently, Suttle World will continue to shovel the interior of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, as it is hostage to he elements for at least the first half of the day.

March 2, 2010

...Suttle World mails in a brief update this Tuesday as snow that began falling shortly after daybreak now is beginning to cover streets.  Up to six inches is forecast, and Suttle World has a number of outdoor duties that are better accomplished with a dusting as opposed to half a foot of the white stuff.

...Yes, there are pockets of civil unrest and looting now happening in Chile.  That said, the video Suttle World has seen of "looting" included items such as food and diapers, as opposed to televisions and booze---the preferred booty of American looters.  The devastation from last Saturday's earthquake is incredible, and Suttle World still contends that Chileans are handling the disaster better than most areas of the US.

March 1, 2010 

...March comes in like a lamb, and a non-shivering lamb at that even at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor's 2,248 foot elevation.  A melancholy day break farewell  to bride of Suttle World (who continues her ATL commute) was followed by the traditional AM session of the walking of the dogs in temps that were near the freezing mark.  The March 1st forecast is for mostly sunny skies and a high near the 50° mark, but tradition returns Tuesday with several inches of snow expected.

...For all the beating about the head and shoulders the Olympics deservedly receives from Suttle World, yesterday's gold medal hockey game was a real thriller.  Yes, Suttle World was pulling for the good old US of A, but Bing Crosby scoring the game winner in overtime gives the Canadians one hockey gold medal to go along with their six of thirty NHL franchises.  Suttle World speculates that there must be some reason why 90% of Canada's population lives within 100 miles of the US border.

...The AP headline screams:  "Drug Gangs Taking Over US Public Lands."  The gentle surfer probably is familiar with the situation on the west coast where mostly Mexican drug gangs have set up shop in northern California to grow cannabis in national forests or some such.  Suttle World has a solution.  Legalize cannabis, and the price falls to that of other dead house plants, thus providing no motive for a drug gang to form, mush less "invade" US public lands.  The gentle surfer in the back waving its hand back and forth is excused, and may use the rest room.  To the other gentle surfer jumping up and down about Australian researchers who have allegedly found a link between long term cannabis use and an increased incidence of psychosis:  two things; 1)  The war on the war on drugs aint about the dope you dope. Its about the notion that an individual owns themselves, and, therefore, may make their own decisions about what to and not to put into their body.  2) The study doesn't entertain the notion that those prone to develop a psychosis may also be apt to be long term cannabis users, because that would be arguing semantics, and GET THESE SPIDERS OFF OF ME!

...Though weary, there was progress made in arranging and unpacking in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 over the past weekend.  Many ergs remain, and many things remain missing in action, but the search and rescue effort continues as rooms finally begin to take shape.  The past eight weeks have been spent largely shoveling snow outside.  The next eight should be preoccupied with shoveling Suttle World crap inside.

February 28, 2010

...Suttle World Exclusive:  Though not officially announced by any entity found by Suttle World, in a brief email reply to bride of Suttle World, the legendary Andy Shernoff has confirmed that dates for his solo acoustical set are a done deal for June 4th at The Basement in Nashville and June 5th at The Hi Tone in Memphis!  Reports from the entire US, excluding the northeast, have men weeping openly in the streets upon hearing the announcement.  Needless to say, all the denizens of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 are thrilled at the news that the head Dictator will hold court twice in Tennessee.  Previous rumblings throughout The Dictators underground would seem to indicate that there may well be a party busting loose.

...Amazingly, at this writing the death toll in Chile stands at just over 200 following yesterday's devastating 8.8 earthquake.  Rescuers continue to search for survivors in the ruin in and around Concepcion, but there are no reports, to the best of Suttle World's knowledge, about any looting or other civil unrest.  Suttle World speculates that Chileans are holding up much better in the horror of this natural disaster than would many areas of the US.  Lest we not forget---yes, George Carlin would have been disappointed.

...Yet another rare, and quick note on SOTD.  Yes, today's offering is the latest single from that Wanda Jackson---the 73 year old who had her first hit in 1955, is produced this time around by Jack White, and covers the Johnny Kidd & the Pirates hit as well as anyone has since its original release in 1960.  Jackson's tour schedule ends, for the time being, as does February---the longest month of the year.  A final note:  this is the second 2010 tune for SOTD in the still new year.

...The AP headline reads: "Scientists Unravel Mysteries of Intelligence," and the gentle surfer that believed that this particular exercise would be better suited for the Suttle World Institute for Studying Really Stupid Stuff would be correct.

...While in the health aisle, Suttle World notes that British researchers have found a link between relieving chronic lower back pain and cognitive behavioral therapy.  Gee, John Sarno, MD (Professor of Clinical Rehabilitation Medicine, New York University School of Medicine, and attending physician at the Howard A. Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine, New York University Medical Center) had this figured out over 20 years ago.  Sarno coined the term tension myositis syndrome, and while stipulating that there will never be any way to definitively study the theory, Sarno believes the syndrome to be responsible for not only lower back pain, but a whole host of soft tissue "injuries" that been on an incredible rise over the past three decades---real pain, but that which requires psychological treatment as opposed to conventional, and often useless, therapies.

...The official dropping of the Olympic puck in the gold medal men's hockey game is set for 3:15 (EST---enjoy that S while you can) when the US takes on Canada.  No doubt there is action to be found somewhere, but Suttle World is unable to find any type of wagering line for today's matchup.  TV numbers for this winter Olympics would seem to mirror those for Suttle World---a slight up tick from previous years.  Want more viewers?  Construct those wimpy slalom gates out of one inch steel pipe, and set each in about 75 pounds of Quickcrete---now, that's entertainment.  Have a sniper shoot at the biathlon participants.  Make curling shorter and understandable.  All of these moves would pique interest mightily.  Yep, past time to hose down the flame.

...The mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington (16-11, 6-8) University have virtually assured themselves an invitation to the Atlantic 10 tournament in March with a 75-70 win yesterday over UNC-Charlotte.

February 27, 2010 

...Yes, it has been a quiet week on that gosh darn world wide web thingy, but that is not to say that it has been quiet in Suttle World.  The week included the abject fun and excitement of unpacking boxes and shoving furniture around.  And the payoff for a tough week?:  the chance to make a round trip from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 to the former stately Roberts/Suttle Manor to make some last minute repairs and retrieve still remaining stuff of Suttle World that could not be taken in the big move last weekend.  A few items remain, but another marathon like Friday is not expected anytime in the near future.

...If its the weekend at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, then there are going to be various weather warnings, with an accompanying map, in the corner of the screen of any local station.   Suttle World is certain this particular corner will burn out much sooner than the rest of the picture tube, for since November, the list of advisories, watches and warnings has been endless.  Today, advisories only apply to northern counties of much higher elevation.  Yes, Suttle World knows it really sucks to be in the northeast this morning.  One report last night heard by Suttle World had over one million customers without power from Philly through New England.

...A brief, and rare note on SOTD.  Suttle World forages for the Every Day Is Saturday TV Theme Song Of The Day from a particular web site that, as the gentle surfer might imagine, features theme songs from damn near every show ever aired.  The first attempt to download the basic Mighty Mouse song was met with a message that CBS had asked that the song be removed from the site.  Fair enough.  They own it...  However, CBS, nor any other interested party, thought anything of posting the Mighty Mouse Playhouse Theme---from the original TV show in 1955.  Second, Suttle World believes that today marks the first in nearly 2000 SOTDs that has featured Mitch Miller.  Long overdue for one of the most influential figures in the history of recorded music.  Yeah, he did more than "just follow the bouncing ball."

...The great health deform summit has come and gone, and not a damn thing has changed.  Republicans can now successfully stall this until the November elections, and then the issue, mercifully, disappears for another decade or so.

...Well, the cows finally came home---at least for one Pike County, Arkansas woman.  A cow was sticking its head out the front door when Latisha Francis got home on Monday, but that was only the beginning.  Another cow was found in the living room and a third in the master bedroom.  Obviously the one pictured to the right had decided to catch up on her soaps.  Ms. Francis speculates the cows got out of their pen, and were scared into the house by her barking dog.  Huh!?  "Hey, Elsie, let's run from the dog, and hide in this house."  "Moo."

February 23, 2010

...Its a short bus Tuesday in Suttle World.  There remains an seemingly infinite number of ergs required to minister to the disaster area that is stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, and little happening on the national or world stage upon which to comment.

...One real quick take:  the weekly hoops update.  The Hawks, who hold the fourth seed in the Eastern conference, picked up their first win in Utah in 17 years, with a victory over the Jazz last night.  Meanwhile the might fighting Colonials of George Washington University fall to 14-11 (4-8) with a loss to 25th ranked Richmond last Saturday.  Next up, LaSalle tomorrow night.

February 22, 2010

...Suttle World extends major props to bride of Suttle World---a trooper above and beyond the call of duty who orchestrated the past weekend's final big move in as efficient a manner as was physically possible.  To that end:  bride of Suttle World has managed the great bulk of what turned into a nearly year long move to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, and has done so in a spectacular fashion.  As a reward for her yeowoman's effort, bride of Suttle World earned a pre-dawn 200 mile commute in rain and fog as she continues her efforts in a parallel universe to appease the gods that sign the paychecks.  The gentle surfer is reminded that this is true labor---all being accomplished in a stellar manner with little assistance from the local pharmacy.

...Agatha/"the Cat" would seem to have made the transition about as well as could be expected.  At present, the plan is for the Cat to remain inside stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 for this entire week, and then being exposed to the great out of doors.  Though damp, at 45° this morning's Walking of the Dogs was the warmest in many many moons.  Snow still abounds on the northern slopes in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, as do a seemingly infinite number of limbs, branches, and trunks of trees felled by the ice storm preceding Super Bowl Sunday.

...Suttle World is in desperate need of some housekeeping.  Links are broken, and features have remained dormant for much too long.  Suttle World hopes to devote a short period of time each day in the coming weeks to fix or improve the site, and appreciates the gentle surfer's patience.

...As though the gentle surfer not dwelling in an oxygen deprived environment needed further evidence, Suttle World offers a good old fashioned, small town, "all politics is local" example of just how stupid this crap is.  Henderson County (the county in which stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 is domiciled) is set to receive $35.1 million in stimulus money to go along with the $9 million already allocated.  The lion's share of these monies will go to fund the tremendous demand for social services (food stamps, Medicaid, et al) created by the Great Depression II.  Call Suttle World silly, but huge deficit spending to fund social programs doesn't seem like a particularly efficient way to create wealth, that begets jobs, that increases consumer spending, that lessens the demand for social services and fuels two-thirds of the economy.

February 21, 2010

 Huge, Giant. Colossal, Big Time Suttle World Announcement

...Agatha, at a spry 14 years of age continues to insist to be called by her street name:  The Cat, has left the building, and so it is official:  

The Western North Carolina Suttle World Headquarters is now stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0

...Yes boys and girls, its official.  That property that the gentle surfer has come to know and love as the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters, as of today, is forevermore to be known as stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0.  The former Manor is now occupied by a lovely couple and infant child that have moved to the ATL for her to accept a position with Northside Hospital.  Bride of Suttle World greeted the current occupants upon their arrival late yesterday afternoon, as Suttle World transported the last of the former Manor's stuff in the pick up/Hajj Mobile I, along with a mildly sedated cat.  The past 50 days have proven exhausting, albeit very productive in the transfer of Suttle World stuff.  A few gardening items remain to be picked up, but an almost exactly eleven year relationship with Tucker that has proved most pleasant has ended.  Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 looks as though it is eligible for assistance from FEMA at present, but this shall all be dealt with in good time.  Memo to the ATL:  AMF. 

...Announced last Friday, was the unveiling of the Online Tax Revolt (http://www.onlinetaxrevolt.com) movement.  Suttle World finds it the have a high cool quotient, and also surrounds debate that will eventually ensure either the long term success or failure of the Republic.  The gentle surfer is urged to check it out.  A Suttle World group the gentle surfer may join in its virtual march on Washington will be announced at or before tomorrow's daily update.

...For the first weekend out of about the last ten, there are no winter weather announcements posted continuously on each of the local/network affiliated TV stations.  This is not to imply that all of the top of the drive at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 is clear, though a high approaching 60° is forecast for today.  

...Lots more news in the days to come.

February 15, 2010

...Suttle World is now very tired, Imus.  About 550 10' truck, and 200 pick em up truck miles later, and a Herculean effort has been achieved.  At this writing, a light snow falls around the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters, but will not be sufficient to shovel prior to an early afternoon departure by Suttle World and bride of Suttle World---returning to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.  Alas, there is little rest for the weary, and the "to do" list for the coming week is as daunting as the just completed weekend ordeal.  Consequently, Suttle World advises the gentle surfer that Suttle World will likely go dark for the remainder of this week.  A lack of internet access at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor is the culprit, though engineers are working around the clock to remedy the issue.  That said:  upon return, Suttle World will likely have a major announcement even more stunning than watching the women's biathlon.  Stay tuned for details.

..."(The Mail Online - UK) - The academic at the centre of the ‘Climategate’ affair, whose raw data is crucial to the theory of climate change, has admitted that he has trouble ‘keeping track’ of the informationProfessor Jones also conceded the possibility that the world was warmer in medieval times than now – suggesting global warming may not be a man-made phenomenon."  Now the dog ate the homework.

...A melancholy AMF to Doug Fieger, front man for The Knack, who shuffled off this mortal coil yesterday due to complications from cancer.  He was 57.

...Over 1500 flights have been cancelled out of the ATL alone today due to light snow, but its progress.  A record 5,700 flights were cancelled nationwide Friday because of weather.  If its snowing in Dallas, Atlanta and Chicago simultaneously, start walking.

February 13, 2010

...Suttle World is tired, Imus.  Was the 16 foot truck, reserved a week in advance, available at the Budget Truck Rental place near Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor?  No, but surely a little ten footer would do for the task at hand.  Wrong again, the little truck is just that and no where near accommodates the needs of Suttle World, but this too is fixable due to the glory of unlimited mileage.  The schedule was then altered to make an early Friday escape from an expected annoying couple inches of snow, and depart with the full little truck to the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters where only flurries were forecast.  The good news is that the full little truck finally made its way up the winding NC drive under what would come to be a 4-5 inch snowfall.  The full little truck is now empty, and today dawns with the promise of a round trip to accumulate that which the little truck would not hold Friday.  Even when it has not dwelled in southeast, Suttle World has always viewed snow as a seductive siren, but following three significant snow events and a devastating ice storm since mid December, Suttle World now sees snow for the wicked bitch that she truly is...Future updates as they are possible.  Did Suttle World mention that Friday started with an potentially lethal infection of its computing power at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor that has left the estate internet incapable? ---Fear not, another fun story, for another fun day.

...The tedium that is the overwhelming content of two weeks of Olympic Winter Games got started yesterday with the traditional athlete sacrifice in the form of a Georgian luger, followed by the Opening Ceremonies.  Wow, the week starts with the geriatric half time extravaganza (half of The Who), and also includes an even more overrated and tedious affair last night in Vancouver.  Definitely February material.

...Speaking of which, given only cursory publication has been allowed since the great ice storm of last week at the Suttle World western NC satellite HQ, there has been no Suttle World take on Super Bowl XLIV.  First, it was a decent and watchable game.  Amazing!  Second, Suttle World, like most of the betting public was somewhat surprised at the Saints win, but salutes the St. Louis Browns of the NFL on their first title.   Third, memo to the crazed:  yes, its great that New Orleans enjoyed this glory just a few years after the devastation of Katrina.  That said, adding the Lombardi trophy will not change the underlying culture of the Crescent City nor be the ignition of a Renaissance.  Liquor and Saints gear will sell better, but beyond that, Suttle World sees little lasting impact on the city. 

 

Feb.10, 2010    EMERGENCY

...Suttle World is electro/techno challenged beyond the gentle surfer's imagination.  Suffice to say that over 100 hours without electrical service at the western North Carolina satellite headquarters (ice storm), and an eventual retreat to Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor late Tuesday evening have dramatically limited publication potential.  Regular Suttle World publication may not resume until this weekend or later. 

...Understandably, and mercifully, three feet of snow in DC has shut down the federal government for the week.  The record weather event will no doubt slow the Obama administration's plan to establish a federal commission on climate change.  Suttle World seems to recall that the term "global warming" morphed into "climate change" about the time the third congressional hearing on the matter had to  be cancelled due to snow last year.

February 5, 2010

...Overnight, and through 6:00 this evening the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters is under both a winter storm warning and a flood warning.  Suttle World found the dual status confusing, believing them to be mutually exclusive, but daybreak this morning reveals that several inches of slush fell Thursday night.  Trees are shrouded in a thin layer of ice, transformers are heard to be exploding in the distance, and the lights have flickered several times.  At this writing, the temperature is right at the freezing mark, and expected to climb a couple of degrees as rain falls though Friday's daylight hours.  This marks the area's third major winter weather event in the past 40 days.

...The ranks of the unemployed are expected to break the 8 million mark when the Department of Labor releases its monthly data later today.  Suttle World would like to thank congressional Democrats for playing Ruin That Economy.  Enjoy you pensions, a home version of the game and some lovely parting gifts.

February 4, 2010

...Suttle World is pleased to have the use of its fingers, even if they are the only body parts that are functional this morning following a full driveway shovel at the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters  Wednesday afternoon.  Fortunately, the elements were favorable for removal, and the chore proved to be much less of an onus than expected.  Unfortunately, Suttle World is paralyzed in a unique and fun fashion.  While few body parts will move on command, each is fully sensitive to the pain of over exertion.  The bigger issue is ancillary to this little saga.  Suttle World remains confused as to why in an alleged "free society," the competent, adult gentle surfer experiencing moderate to severe pain can't roll into its local CVS, request a dozen Percocet from the pharmacist, and purchase same without a glorified note from the gentle surfer's mother in the form of a prescription.  Does Suttle World wish to abolish the prescription part of prescription drugs altogether?  No, the inappropriate dispensing of antibiotics would pose a significant public health and safety issue.  An individual's use or abuse of other now restricted substances does not.

...Correspondent cuzin Matt reports a story with a DC dateline:  "Rahm Emmanuel will host a group of special needs people at the White House. The hard part will be telling them apart from the Congressional delegations"

...The first remote techno glitch in over two weeks prevented Suttle World from publishing Wednesday.  Given the previous track record..

...Memo to CBS:  Suttle World will gladly anchor the CBS Evening News with a trained monkey on a web cam, and continue to finish dead last in the network news ratings for considerably less than the $14 million currently being paid to Katie Couric.

...For the gentle surfer who may have lost a loved one due to an acceleration malfunction of a Toyota, its a big deal.  The number of cars affected by the current recall is staggering.  The damage control has been awful, and has left all wondering as to whether the true nature of the issue has been addressed.  All that said, Suttle World drives a Toyota unaffected by the recall, and would not hesitate to purchase another, excepting the reliability of the Hajj Mobile, Jr. is such, that Suttle World may well never again require another vehicle.  Bottom line:  Toyota looks hideous now, but its made too many good cars for too long to not recover from the current mess. 

...Suttle World only opens the Tiger cage for the purpose of relaying a very well made point by a pundit Suttle World cannot remember.  Media reports have Woods in rehab for sex addiction.  Presumably, a plethora of clinics exist around the country to treat the same affliction.  The point:  how many of the men that check into a clinic for sex addiction rehabilitation are single?  Much like the forgotten pundit, Suttle World speculates the answer is zero.

February 2, 2010

...Punxsutawney Phil has made his annual call from Gobblers Knob, and the verdict:  much like fellow rodent Harry Reid, Phil was frightened by the sight of his own shadow, and retreated to the basement---leaving all to conclude that there will be six more weeks of winter and spending.  Of more immediate climatologically related matters, Suttle World is pleased to learn that all precipitation falling in and around the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters this morning to be of the liquid variety.  Mother Nature will pitch in again with a sunny day Wednesday, including a high temp expected around 50.  The combo should allow Suttle World to travel to the WNC HQ, and clear the long and winding drive of what remains of the seven inches of snow that fell Saturday.  With any luck, the job should be completed in time for the next winter weather event expected this weekend. 

February 1, 2010

...President Barack Obama sent Congress a $3.83 trillion budget on Monday that included a $1.3 trillion deficit for fiscal year 2011 (the gentle surfer is urged to re-visit the preceding words---its not read every day), and forecasts for deficits totaling another $7.9 trillion over the course of the next decade.  This, of course, comes on the heels of an anticipated $1.8 trillion shortfall during 2010.  For the record, Suttle World tallies deficits of an even $11 TRILLION over ten years.  Add that to pre-existing debt and unfunded mandates such as Social Security, Medicare (the two biggest government Ponzi schemes---estimates of which range from $15-40 trillion), and come 2012, the United States of America will be somewhere between $25 and $50 TRILLION IN THE HOLE!  Also somewhere between here and there is a point of know return.  Suttle World can fix it now, but not ten years hence----the math just don't/won't work.  The creation of wealth, and its subsequent capital to re-invest into a market economy is the only way out, and the best system of conducting economic endeavors with which Suttle World is aware,  Government spending does not create wealth, it merely redistributes it, while taking their own hefty share for shipping and handling.

...Yes, SOTD has been more eclectic lately.  The long promised archive may or may not ever materialize.

...Bringing some fresh air to the Monday morning update is cuzin Matt. with another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes 

January 31, 2010

...Memo to WAGA, the Fox affiliate in the ATL, and all other major market network affiliates:  Thou shall not do birthday greetings during morning "news programming," just as s thou shall not do a "swap meet on the air."  There's always plenty of wire copy to read, or just go Ted Baxter, and "pause for four minutes of silence for the closing of the auto show."

...The official bucket of the National Weather Service proximate to the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters filled with seven inches of snow through Saturday morning.  Would Mr. Plow please pick up the white courtesy phone?

...Suttle World is pleased to announce that it has joined a dozen Asian nations and Russia by vowing to double the number of wild tigers by 2022, crack down on poaching that has devastated the big cats and prohibit the building of roads and bridges that could harm their habitats.  Yes, this will bring a halt to the traditional Labor Day white tiger hunt on the grounds of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, but the sacrifice appears to be worthwhile.

...Very quietly, Roger Federer may well have built a solid claim for a place on the Mt. Rushmore of sport.  Sure, tennis has just a slightly larger following than curling, but 16 majors would seem to come in the res ipsa loquitor aisle.

...Though still to be vivisected by the Sunday morning talking heads, the state of the union address has come and gone with little amplification or extension of President Obama's remarks emanating from the White House.  Mr. President, small business owners listened for over an hour, and still have heard nothing that provides any greater insight into government's onus in the future, and consequently, will push forward very cautiously in terms of hiring.  Yes, jobs are job one, but big time tax increases on the owners of small businesses (90% of the "evil rich") aint the way to go.

January 30, 2010

...Sources close to Suttle World indicate deep rumblings from the bowels of The Dictators underground.  While a performance by the band, per se, is highly unlikely, "individual" arrangements would appear to remain a work in progress for the not too distant future.

...Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor escaped any winter precipitation overnight as did the entire ATL, and such will remain the case despite falling temps on a very wet and nasty Every Day Is Saturday. Meanwhile, the National Weather Service is reporting that four inches of snow as of 7:00 pm Thursday at the western North Carolina satellite headquarters.  Local news organs have reported overnight accumulations of between 10 and 12 inches, with several more yet to fall before the storm comes to an end.  Obviously, electrical and cable service are not an issue at this writing.  So, what's not to like?  A long driveway that Suttle World seriously doubts will clear itself, remotely or otherwise.

...The simple fact that there's chatter about the Pro Bowl being moved from Hawaii, and not including Super Bowl players, proves it to be a genius move by the NFL.  A trip to Hawaii isn't the perk it used to be for the average NFL player any more, and nobody has had anything to say about the game for decades, excepting that they weren't going to watch it.

...Props once again to the Atlanta Hawks who complete a four game regular season sweep of the Celtics with a win over Boston Friday night at Philips.  

January 29, 2010

...Memo to Mother Nature:  this is not funny.  Between six and ten inches of snow are forecast to fall overnight and through Saturday at the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite office.  More frozen precip is predicted for next week.  This is most incontinent.  Please cease and desist immediately.

...As a bookkeeping chore, the aforementioned winter storm may well interfere with the ability of Suttle World to make continued daily updates over the weekend.  Stay tuned for details as they develop.

...Suttle World speculates that Toyota looks as bad as they do because of their lack of experience in damage control.  Everything's always worked pretty damn well, and that track record leads Suttle World to believe the car maker will get things right, albeit with a very awkward start.

...So it wasn't just Suttle World who found President Obama calling out the Supreme Court during the state of the union address to be really "strange"---a rather kind characterization.  Count Suttle World in the "inappropriate" column, but its the president's speech; a Constitutionally mandated duty of the chief executive that Suttle World would prefer to just be mailed in as opposed to the recent traditional Westminster Kennel Club meeting,  One final thought from Wednesday night's speech.  Any gentle surfer joining President Obama in bashing Wall Street is also, quite likely, simultaneously giving a beat down to its own 401K.

January 28, 2010

...Suttle World was very impressed with President Obama's state of the union speech last night.  It took over an hour, but the message was clear to his colleagues on the Democratic side of the aisle, "pay no attention to the voter behind the curtain."  Only 207 shopping days left until the off-year elections.  Suttle World had no expectation that the president would "quit."  Suttle World is increasingly encouraged that voters won't quit either come November.

...Hoops.  First, props the the New Jersey Nets on picking up their fourth win of the season to push the team's record to 4-40 at the halfway point of the NBA season.  Meanwhile the Hawks continue on their best effort in nearly two decades---holding a slim half game lead in the Southeastern Division.  The weekly check of the mighty fighting Colonials shows an overtime win for GW over A-10 rivals---the Billikens of St. Louis Wednesday to move to 12-7 (3-2).

...In the midst of the great depression 2.0, 8.7 million iPhones were sold in the fourth quarter of 2009.  Dick Tracy would be proud.

\January 27, 2010

,,,Sources at the White House say that tonight's state of the union speech will stress jobs, healthcare and a reinvigoration of the "yes, we can" spirit that swept President Obama into office in the 2008 election..  Memo to President Obama:  work on reducing taxes and spending.  The great unwashed will take care of the other concerns.

,,,In Suttle World, the flesh is willing, but the rest of the world remains weak.  There's simply very little upon which to comment.

January 25, 2010

...The first High Holy Day of the 2010 sport calendar lived up to its billing, and both NFL Conference championships proved to be great viewing.  And so, the Colts meet the Saints (the gentle surfer just coming out of an extended coma is assured the latter team is indeed correct) two weeks hence in Miami for Super Bowl XLIV---sue me.

...The gentle surfer is encouraged to clean out the stalls in preparation for the ponies that President Obama will promise every non-financial instruction employed American to go along with a time share in Florida and McDonalds' coupons during his state of the union address Wednesday night.  Let's try this one more time:  "middle class" issues such as student loan payments and child care credits don't mean shit if the gentle surfer is jobless.   Jobs are created by wealthy folks---the same "evil rich" that this administration and its allies in Congress seem so determined to punish.  As predicted, welcome to Jimmy Carter 2.0. 

January 24, 2010

...The first of the year's five High Holy Days of Sport has arrived, and Suttle World must confess that the giddy meter is not pegging.  Maybe its because 7 of the 8 post seasons contests to date have been blow outs.  Still, a High Holy Day it is, and as such Suttle World is far from put upon by taking a closer look at the games on tap.  First up:  The American Football Conference Championship with the little Jets who could traveling into the dome in Indy to take on Peyton and the Colts.  Of course, the Colts should prevail, just like the Jets shouldn't even be in this game.  Perhaps the most interesting element of the opener is the spread in the spreads, with New York getting anywhere between 5.5 and 8.5 points (both at the standard -$110).  In the nightcap, grandpa Bret and his Vikings head into the Super Dome to take on the Saints.  Yes, New Orleans enjoys a big time home field advantage, but Minnesota is accustomed to such circumstances, playing all their home games in that hideous spectacle in Minneapolis.  Bookmakers are more certain on this one, spotting the Vikes 3.5 points.  Gene, the Caucasian, simply doesn't see any plays on the boards to his liking, and may well close up shop for the year (the Caucasian rarely offers Super Bowl picks), with a meager $70 in profit on the season.  The most likely upset is with the Vikings, and the money line approaches +$170...  Its not a pick, but the "best buy" Suttle World can find.

...Suttle World extends a belated AMF to baseball legend Bobby Bragan, who shuffled off this mortal coil Thursday.  He was 92, and died of complications related to being 92.  One of the game's great characters, Bragan and Bob Gibson remain the only two players in MLB history to compel a rule change.  Suttle World extends its thanks to correspondent, cuzin Bill for both the update and fellowship yesterday afternoon.

...Seems as though half the western world has its panties in a twitter (damn, I funny) over the possibility of Facebook charging its users a monthly fee.  Suttle World's only question is to whether or not they throw in a free 90 day trial subscription to AOL?

..."LONDON (Reuters) – International hotel chain Holiday Inn is offering a trial human bed-warming service at three hotels in Britain this month.  If requested, a willing staff-member at two of the chain's London hotels and one in the northern English city of Manchester will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit before slipping between the sheets."  Suttle World speculates that guests who take advantage of the "service" will have probably already emptied out the mini bar.

January 23, 2010

,,,The Mega Millions lottery jackpot has rolled over to an anticipated $121 million for next Tuesday's drawing.  The gentle surfer is urged to send $5 to Suttle World for the guaranteed winning numbers (allow 4-6 weeks for delivery).

...Lily, the Minnesota bear of recent cyber fame, gave birth to one cub mid-day Friday.  Yogi Bear, the former actor cum bear welfare rights advocate, and who is acting as a spokesbear for Lily, said in a written statement, that both mother and cub are resting comfortably.  Neither Fuzzy Wuzzy nor John Edwards, both rumored to be the cub's biological father, were available for comment.  The bear link is here.

...A Suttle World hypothetical for the gentle surfer to ponder:  fast forward a year.  Republicans have re-gained control of both houses of Congress---work with Suttle World here, it was advertised as a hypothetical.  Upon being sworn in, the new Congress immediately extends the Bush tax cuts, and marches the bill down Pennsylvania Avenue with a message.  Mr. President, we tried your way, and it hasn't worked.  This way works every time.  Do you have a pen?  Purely an academic exercise?---most likely, but Suttle World is certain that it would enjoy the song and dance routine from this administration were it come to pass.

January 22, 2010

...It truly was  lovely evening, with Suttle World and bride of Suttle World departing stately Roberts/Suttle Manor shortly after 6:00 and returning around 9:30.  In the interim, Suttle World enjoyed the prototypical Atlanta sports experience.  Bride of Suttle World had been the beneficiary of a couple of Thrashers ducats, and the couple in question arrived at Philips Arena about 10 minutes prior to face off.  Both had agreed to dine on a semblance of real food at the attached Taco Mac, and so the merriment proceeded through the first period, as the couple in question watched Carolina build a 2-0 lead.  Seats were reached during the first intermission.  The second period was watched live, and in person, as the Thrashers mailed in the better part of another 20 minute frame, and trailed 4-1 a the second intermission.  Suttle World and bride of Suttle World then left the building.  There seemed no reason to linger in order to watch to awful teams, with the Atlanta club flatter than a billiards table.  It was a fun cheap date, but not necessarily so for the other 8-9,000 in attendance.  Final:  Carolina 5 Atlanta 2.  You want $50 for what?  Suttle World repeats:  this league is in real trouble.

...The weekly check-in on the mighty fighting Colonials from George Washington University (11-6,1-3) finds the ball club stuck on 11 wins---dropping contests to both the titan that is LaSalle as well as Dayton since Suttle World last reported.  Next up:  the Spiders of Richmond tomorrow at the Smith Center in DC.

...The greatest comedic actress in the medium of television, 88 year old Betty White, will be honored by the Screen Actors Guild with a lifetime achievement award. as the sixtieth anniversary of her career nears.  About damn time.

...Props to the Supremes (or the five that do not dwell in an oxygen deprived environment) for carving a big chunk out of McCain/Feingold yesterday.  Piece by piece, the entire First Amendment bashing train wreck of a law will disappear, and none too soon for Suttle World.

...Where does Suttle World sign up for the  job where that when deemed no longer profitable, one receives a $45 million severance package?  The devoted gentle surfer is more than aware that Suttle World can not be funny for a hell of a lot less.  Given the number of writers involved, the yuckless late night airwaves are shameful.

...Yes, though not previously noted, this Sunday does indeed mark the first of the Five High Holy Days on the Sports Calendar.  Suttle World will assumes that it has gone unmentioned largely because the post season has been pretty damn dull to date---as in, Super Bowl dull.

January 21, 2010

...Suttle World cannot complain about the remote connectivity this week, but the current state of affairs in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor is such that these once simple daily updates have become quite the chore.  Ergo, the short and sweet nature of the daily get togethers.

...Has Suttle World mentioned that Scott Brown (R-MA) now holds the senate seat once occupied by Ted Kennedy?

... Believed belated shout out to cuzin Jim up Richmond way, and the amazing successful re-emergence of The Comfort Brothers---a catering with a grin enterprise owned and operated by Jimbo and partner.  Suttle World is unsure as to arrangements that Comfort Brothers can make for the gentle surfer not in metro-Richmond, but encourage the gentle surfer to check out the above link, and work out something.  If Suttle World can behold Ollie Burgers being air lifted in from Louisville...

...Coming to the rescue once again on a techno-stifled Thursday is cuzin Matt, and another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes.

 

January 20, 2010

...Suttle World would like to extend its thanks to the voters of Massachusetts for complying with its request yesterday.  The record is clear that Suttle World was absolutely stunned that the most liberal member of the US Senate was elected president in 2008.  Suttle World is now slack jaw amazed that President Obama could return the Republican party to a state of viability after only one year in office.  Suttle World is down with Brown.

January 19, 2010 

...One big item on the agenda today, and it is only pertinent to the gentle surfer registered to vote in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and the gentle surfer inclined to vote regardless of its registration status.  Kindly cast a ballot for Scott Brown, and save the Republic.  Thank you.

...SOTD comes with a rare asterisk and point of order.  Larry and the Blue Notes were a not so highly regarded frat band in the 60's, and had limited success with SOTD when released as "Night of the Phantom" in 1965---all those involved being certain 1965 and "sadist" wouldn't work.  The "original," unedited version was finally released by the Downt label in 1995 under the original name.

January 18, 2010 

...Enjoy the holiday.

January 17, 2010

...A season of glory is fizzling at the post season betting cage, and in spectacular fashion.  The Saints hadn't won a game in over a month.  The Cardinals are hot off their 96 point shoot-out with Green Bay last week, so, of course, New Orleans plays a damn near perfect game, and the Arizona strategy of saving salary cap money by filling key defensive positions with homeless men proves unsuccessful.   Meanwhile, its business as usual in Indianapolis, as the Colts give a beat down to a Ravens ball club that all agreed was big and bad enough to hang with anyone.  Such "common wisdom" now shimmers in its glittering oxymoronic glory.  The gentle bettor now has a believed to be $70 profit on the year, as opposed to being up $720 when the playoffs began.  Suttle World is tempted to try to gain back some of its mythical winnings, by making some exotic sage pick out of the two contests today, but will refrain.  The board just isn't attractive.  Dallas get 2.5 in Minnesota, while the Jets are getting a full 7 in San Diego.  This is not to say that, Gene, the Caucasian, has folded his tent for the year.  It just means, that he will refrain from making picks just because games are being played.  It is such behavior that can have the gentle surfer being sought out by new friends named Guido.

...Alas canine duty, and sundry other chores in and around the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters abound, making for both a tardy and abbreviated Sunday update

January 16, 2010

...A little hoops talk, and then its on to the big events of the weekend.  For those keeping score at home, no, the mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University were unable to hold off the LaSalle Explorers (you just can't make this stuff up) by a single point Wednesday night 65-64.  Still at 11-5 (1-2), GW is off to a much better start than anticipated, and have their eyes of the prize:  making the Atlantic 10 tournament this year (yeah, the school two years away from a one loss season, did not qualify for their own league's tournament last year)!  Meanwhile on the professional hardcourt, how about Jamal Crawford?  The third year stud from Michigan, who leads the league in fourth quarter minutes played this season, nails a fade away 33 foot jumper at the buzzer as the Hawks find a way to win against Steve Nash and the Suns last night at Philips 102-101.  Jamal is the bomb, and if legally possible, Suttle World would adopt Al Horford without any reservation.  Actually, given the respective salaries, it would probably be in Suttle World's best interest to be adopted by Al Horford.  Give the young Hawks some identity/a face for the team/leader, and the gentle surfer will be looking at the 3rd or 4th best team in the league.  One that truly has a shot at (the gentle surfer should gird their loins):  making the conference finals for the first time since arriving in the ATL in 1968.

...Big event #1:  Suttle World will finish this morning's update, conduct the morning running of the beasts, and then wait in giddy anticipation for the arrival of bride of Suttle World who has taken the luxury of the long holiday weekend to make a rare Every Day Is Saturday commute to the western North Carolina Suttle World headquarters.  Big news may soon follow.  In the interim, the leasing gentle surfer who would like to make an upgrade from the current cardboard box in which they dwell to much swankier digs may contact Suttle World here.

...Big event #2:  The NFL playoffs.  Another four contests are scheduled for this weekend, and Gene, the Caucasian, is looking to make back much of this season's earnings that were left at the window last weekend.  The gentle bettor is still ahead for the year, so let not your heart be troubled (a line that was stolen without attribution by the ultra white Sean Hannity from C. Miles a/k/a Ralph From Ben Hill/the most natural talk show host Suttle World has ever had the pleasure to hear, and who is still alive and well in the DC-Baltimore corridor).  The style and syntax police are pounding at the door of Suttle World, so it will cease digression, and get to the issue at hand.  Ok, the Caucasian's big play of the weekend covers both days, and takes the form of the traditional three play, six point teaser (net)---take Arizona +13 @ New Orleans; Baltimore +13 @ Indy; and Dallas +9 @ Minnesota.  Suttle World won't bother breaking down the contests.  Suffice to say that there are plenty o points available for the visiting teams to cover.  Pays 9:5.  The wager d' jour is simply taking the Cardinals +7 @ New Orleans (pays 9:10).  The Saints have been a great story this year, and may well prevail at home this afternoon, but not by over a touchdown.  Again, without objection, Suttle World requests unanimous consent to amend and extend its remarks come Sunday.  Without objection, so ordered.

...Suttle World has turned neither a deaf ear nor empty wallet to the disaster that continues to unfold in Haiti.  That being said, Suttle World is also of the same mindset that came immediately after the September 11th attacks against the US.  Many gentle surfers felt compelled to do something immediately.  Suttle World will wait.  Yes, the need for aid is desperate, and the gentle surfer is encouraged to give as it may see fit.  Unfortunately, Suttle World sees little but the most impoverished nation in the western hemisphere awash in absolute chaos following this week's earthquake.  Suttle World simply can't see the efficacy in tossing a few more bucks on this pile of ruin at present.  The abject need will still exist six months from now, and Suttle World will make its decisions at that point.

...Props to cuzin Paul who advises Suttle World of a not-too-long-ago listen to the great Jigs McDonald calling a recent NHL game.  Suttle World was certain that Jigsy had joined the Boomer in that great penalty box in the sky.

January 14, 2010

...After being relegated to a wheelchair for nearly three decades following a car wreck, music legend, Teddy Pendergrass, died yesterday from complications of colon cancer.  He was 59.

...Typically shielded from such media, Suttle World caught Spike Lee's film of the Broadway production Passing Strange last night on PBS.  The show was a tremendous effort, and this, from Suttle World who would typically prefer to self-inflict blindness than have to watch a musical.

..."(AP) MIAMI – A record 2.8 million households were threatened with foreclosure last year, and that number is expected to rise this year as more unemployed and cash-strapped homeowners fall behind on their mortgages."  293 days until the off-year elections.

...Explosive experts are expected to consult with Suttle World later today as the last big push is made to remove two Titanic sinking sized ice bergs from the drive of the western North Carolina satellite headquarters.  Mother Nature is pitching in---temps soared into the mid-forties Wednesday, and are expected to reach similar, or greater, levels today and Friday.  The yards of unoccupied homes in and around the area still host a pristine 4-6 inches of snow cover that fell four weeks ago on December 18.  This is western North Carolina not North Dakota.

January 13, 2010

...Daybreak will be no friend for the western side of Hispaniola.  The death toll following a 7.0 earthquake yesterday evening is beyond imagination, and the delivery of aid unfathomable.

...Though its within the realm of possibility, Scott Brown doesn't need to win next Tuesday's Massachusetts Senate race.  Just coming close in the commonwealth that hasn't elected a Republican senator since 1973 will be a straw of significant mass to break the Democrat's stranglehold on Congress.  Polling data indicates only a third of the American public is in favor of current health care deform (odd, given nobody knows what the bill is or does), unemployment remains at double digits...294 days until the off-year elections.

...Harold Ford is evidently pondering a move to New York to run for a Senate seat there.  This could be a trend, if liberal Democrats could all be rotated into the Empire State for a run at the world's most exclusive club, they could at least be corralled within one jurisdiction.

...From the man bites dog department:  none of this morning's top searches on Yahoo involve an entertainment celebrity.  Tiger heads to list (damn, I'm funny!  Did you hear about the graphite shaft?) that also, inexplicably includes Colt McCoy, along with Haiti, the Detroit Auto Show (?!), Iran and China.  Suttle World ponders as to exactly the gentle surfer is searching for when entering "China."

..."(AP) WASHINGTON – Top bank executives can expect a grilling when they appear before a congressionally appointed panel investigating the causes of the 2008 financial collapse."  The Suttle World staff continues to scour Washington schedules for the appearance by members of Congress to be grilled by the business community for their role in the 2008 financial collapse.

...The always brilliant Theodore Dalrymple begins the new decade by resolving to make fewer resolutions in this piece that appears in the NY Daily News, as opposed to City Journal where Suttle World often finds his more lengthy and erudite opinion pieces.

...Belated props to the Hawks who went to Boston and beat the Celtics Monday night.  Tonight, Atlanta visits the Washington Buzzards before returning home Friday to face Phoenix.  The Hawks remain the fourth seed in the NBA East---1.5 games behind Orlando in the Southeast Division.  Meanwhile on the collegiate hardcourt, the mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University (11-4, 1-1) continue their surprisingly upstart season---visiting Philadelphia tonight to take on Atlantic 10 Conference rival LaSalle.

January 12, 2010

...For the record, the just concluded unnamed decade did not witness Suttle World enter a movie theater, and there is no luring adventure on the horizon to break the nearly 15 year long streak.

...Suttle World is shocked that Mark McGwire has come forward with an admission of over ten years of anabolic steroid use up to and including his recording breaking 1998 season.  Does steroid abuse preclude McGwire from consideration for the Hall of Fame?  No, McGwire's own numbers preclude him from  admission into Cooperstown.  Meanwhile, props to Andre Dawson who will be the only inductee in the HOF class of 2010---a most deserving inductee who played the majority of his stellar career without knees.

...Next up, its cuzin Matt with the decade's first installment of Bruner's Texas Takes

January 11, 2010

...A tough weekend on the gridiron for Gene, the Caucasian, who fails to cash a ticket and give back over half of the season's winnings.  At least Suttle World gets the Cardinals right, but only after blowing a 17-0 lead in the first quarter to win the game in an overtime thriller.  Alas, by Suttle World's calculations, the gentle bettor has now a mere $270 profit remaining on a $1050 investment after the first weekend playoff debacle.

...Well, at least they like us.  A poll commissioned by a number of international news organs has determined that nearly 70% of Afghanis support the presence and increase in US forces in their country.  This would be encouraging if not for the fact that what 70% of Afghanis have supported in the entire history of the land mass has been of absolutely no consequence whatsoever.  Suttle World supports the expanded effort in Afghanistan, but is also going to go out on a limb, and predict that the January 11, 2060 update could make reference to US forces in Afghanistan that will still be in place (see:  Japan, Germany, Korea, et al).

...Time magazine is reporting that "according to the paper, "Payment for Sex in a Macaque Mating Market," published in the December issue of Animal Behavior, males in a group of about 50 long-tailed macaques in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, traded grooming services for sex with females."  Suttle World finds irony in the fact that the colloquial spanking the monkey could cause this critter commerce to crash, while it probably costs more in the macaques market (little leather monkey Nazi uniform extra as well).

January 10, 2010

...The gentle surfer with complaints and a lower net worth this morning than yesterday should direct their complaints towards management of the Cincinnati Bengals and Philadelphia Eagles, neither or whom showed up for their NFL playoff contests yesterday.  Its water under the bridge---about exactly half the extra water the gentle bettor had collected on previous prognostications.  So, what's a mother to do?  No, not double down, but make a somewhat intelligent play that will help get the gentle surfer back to close to even for the weekend.  Sunday brings a two team parlay, using the lines as modified through Sunday morning.  Take the Patriots -3.5 at home against the Ravens, and the Cardinals -1.5, hosting the Packers---pays 13:5; and, if successful, should get the gentle bettor within a Benjamin of breaking even for the first round of playoffs.  Suttle World would hasten to add that a playoff game that generated some degree of excitement might not be such a bad thing either.

...Suttle World sends its regrets to the gentle surfer who has expected flames of indignation to shoot from the monitor regarding Democrats meeting in secret to make the health care deform sausage that will begin full and complete government control over 14% of the nation's economy.  Suttle World suggests such behavior is plentiful in the dog bites man aisle.  Suttle World would care to underscore the bigger picture once more that is proven once again by these clandestine negotiations:  nobody behind this abortion of a bill has any interest in improving the health and well being of the American public.  Many of the placard toting morons who support the notion are stupid enough to believe such things, but upon being sworn in, new members of Congress are secretly briefed that there is no Tooth Fairy.  Shelia Jackson Lee continues to hold out on both the Tooth Fairy and a "public option."  Only 297 shopping left until the off-year elections that, mercifully, fall on the earliest possible date permitted by the Constitution, November 2 (as though that old hackneyed piece of parchment means anything).

...Suttle World is beginning a project whereas adherents of Nobel Prize winner Al Gore's notion of global warming could form a small committee and pay the heating bills for both stately Roberts/Suttle Manor and the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters.  Suttle World never wishes any poor circumstance befall any gentle surfer, but if Al Gore just happened to wander over the North Korean border...

...French dude says he's now calculated Pi to nearly 2.7 trillion decimal places, 23 billion digits more than the previous record set last August by a Japanese dude.  Evidently this is a record of some sort, and Suttle World doesn't get it any more now than it did in the era of slide rules.  Do a crossword puzzle or express your dog's anal glands for God's sake---something worthwhile.  This trick has been done before.

January 9, 2010

...Attempting to avoid the inevitable, Suttle World begins this Every Day Is Saturday update at daybreak---just prior to canine duty.  Location is not an issue with regard to climate,  The charts and graphs show an identical 12º at both stately Roberts/Suttle Manor and the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters.  Time to layer up, don the lovely insulated gloves, hat and face cover that is worthy of a liquor store robbery in the finest of states (an astute gift from bride of Suttle World), and allow three obnoxious animals to drag Suttle World around the block.  Nothing new here, and Suttle World should return to complete the update; but just in case the elements win this particular bout, its been a blast.

...A blast indeed.  The sign up sheet still has openings for the remainder of the weekend.  The gentle surfer interested in embarking on one of these exotic brief outings is urged to contact Suttle World here,

...The weather notwithstanding, its a damn good weekend for the American couch potato.  The NFL gets its playoffs underway with two contests both today and Sunday; and this only some of the fine sports fare available to the gentle surfer.  For now, Suttle World sticks with the meat and potatoes on the menu---football.  In today's first offering, the Jets tee it up in Cincinnati at 4:30, and are listed as a 3 point underdog to the Bengals (over/under is 33.5-34).  Arguably, the Bengals haven't played a good team in a big game for many moons, but the Jets go on the road with a rookie quarterback.  Suttle World simply can't see Mark Sanchez becoming the stuff of NFL lore with a win in his first ever playoff game, especially given the "bitter cold's" effect on a native SoCal kid and USC alum.  Meanwhile, the nightcap is scheduled for 8:00 with Philly in Dallas.  The Eagles are 4 point underdogs against the Cowboys, and the over/under is listed at 45.  Suttle World believes the law of averages is screaming that Wade Phillips is destined to win at least one playoff game in his career, and this may be his big show biz chance.  That said, in Suttle World the Cowboys always cannot suck enough, so Suttle World will align itself with the Santa booing, ice ball tossing, ["yo"] Philly fans, and go with another law of averages:  its mighty tough to beat the same team three times in the same season.  Dallas won both regular season matchups.  All this pithy analysis aside, it is simply the goal of Gene, the Caucasian, to end up with more bucks come Sunday night than hanging around this morning.  The Caucasian does not take his stellar, abbreviated, 4 for 5 season of picks that have the gentle surfer up $720 on a $500 investment, but will probably get whacky as the weekend progresses.

...To that end...Gene, the Caucasian, recommends the following plays before the first kickoff this afternoon:  1)  two team, six point teaser (net):  Jets @ Bengals over 28, and Philadelphia +10 @ Dallas (pays even money).  2)  three team, six point teaser (net): Bengals +3 v. Jets, Jets @ Bengals over 28, and Eagles +10 @ Dallas (pays (9:5).  3)  three team, six point teaser (net): Bengals +3, Arizona +6, and Baltimore +9.5.  4)  The real gimmicky, half wager just for giggles, and the potential for a huge reward---4 team parlay, Bengals -3; Eagles +4, Cardinals even, and the Pats -3.5 (pays 11:1).  The Caucasian reserves the right to make any necessary adjustments "at the turn"/following today's games.  Today's outlay equals $350, with a potential payout bonanza of tickets worth $1,260. Got it?

...Props to the Hawks for coming out of the second half gate strong last night to beat the visiting Celtics handily.

...Other sports action of possible interest to the gentle surfer this afternoon include two feature college hoops matchups:  Duke @ Georgia Tech (noon, ESPN2) and Carolina @ UConn (4:00, CBS).  The gentle surfer is urged to check its local listings for regional programming as well.

...The first job numbers of the new year are out, and they have not improved.  There will be only 9-10 other such reports between now and the November elections.  Suttle World could never have imagined Democrats running as scared as they were back in '94, but such seems to be the case as the off year balloting approaches.

January 8, 2010

...Technology at least gave it a shot mid-week, but proved unreliable.  Suttle World once again will send a staff directive to resolve the issue/necessity/dependency on a series of connections now necessary to publish from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.  This morning, Suttle World publishes from the western North Carolina satellite headquarters---having made an early arrival Thursday evening to avoid the potential of weather that could have prevented arriving.  Winter weather that never materialized, at least in terms of precipitation.  Suttle World has no objections, and the festivities only get better with dry clean roads for bride of Suttle World to navigate this evening for her eagerly awaited arrival.

...Meanwhile, the Suttle World staff reports that a dusting of snow has engulfed the metro ATL in and around stately Suttle/Roberts Manor; and, as is the custom, western civilization as known by most has been temporarily suspended.  Bride of Suttle World reports no difficulties in making her pre-dawn commute, but that evidently other workers in the ATL are finding the half inch of snow to be much too onerous to bear.  Web sites for various news organs in the city are filled with pics of havoc.  And while Suttle World is not physically present to aid the afflicted, Suttle World is with its fellow Georgians in spirit.  Courage.

...Props to bride of Suttle World for noting a brief Facebook posting yesterday by one Handsome Dick Manitoba/The Handsomest Man in Rock n Roll/King of Men:  "We played last year in Spain...We did really well. We got together again this year and decide to play, but Andy, the songwriter doesn't want to. So there probably will be some sort of Handsome Dick Manitoba, Ross The Boss, Top Ten, JP, (T-Bolt) shows at some point, playing your fave Dictator and MWK hits!"  Cuzin Sal has weighs in with basically the same take as Suttle World that this simply makes too much sense.  Andy Shernoff's solo shows have been spectacular, and he seems committed to pursuing it further.  Why not have the other boys and play?  Suttle World is very encouraged, and perhaps motivated to make a long overdue update of the Hillbilly Dictators Jihad section of Suttle World that has long been neglected.

...While still in The Dictators aisle, Suttle World would hasten to award 500 Suttle World bonus points to JP, Thunderbolt, Patterson on his recent release, The LP is Dead.  Tis a stellar effort, and a steal at $12.  By a single day, Suttle World extends a happy birthday shout out to Thuderbolt,

...Let's see if Suttle World has this straight.  Blinded partisans notwithstanding, everyone in the Wide World of Sports was certain that Alabama would beat Texas, and win a "national championship" last night.  The Longhorns' only shot rested with stud quarterback Colt McCoy.  McCoy goes down early, Bama builds a big lead, and then has to hold off a freshman back up 37-21---a game that became much closer late than the final score would indicate.  Perhaps those of the Wide World of Sports would care to consider how Boise State would have fared (they're still 14-0 for the inquiring gentle surfer).  Perhaps Florida's beat down of Cincinnati proves something.  Perhaps a playoff, and the awarding of a real national championship would answer all these questions.  Memo to the collegiate freak (and you know who you are):  no, scrotum breath, your prized "institution of higher learning" has never won a Division I football championship.  There has never been one awarded by the NCAA---unlike the 180+ other athletic championships in which a winner is determined.

...Props to cuzin Matt for all the info on border radio (up to 1 MILLION watt stations that operated just south of the border from the thirties to the seventies to avoid FCC restrictions).  Suttle World had brought up the subject during the Bruners visit over the new year, but it was cuzin Matt who followed up, directed Suttle World towards a much anticipated book on the subject, and other various "essays" to be found on the internet had only the ever inept Suttle World staff had bother to "Google"  (10 demerits to Suttle World for using the word Google as a verb).

...Suttle World did not require a mea culpa from the President, but found his remarks on security yesterday afternoon to be all fine and good.  What Suttle World found most intriguing was an immediate curiosity as to whether President Obama was responding directly to recent remarks of former Vice President Chaney when stating clearly that "we are at war with..."---a verbatim reply Chaney's charge that the President does not think the US is at war with a number of factions/nations/weird beards.

...Is Suttle World the only idiot to wonder as to whether some secret motivation/directive of someone at the TSA is to make getting on an airplane so damn difficult that more will opt for a hideous Amtrak ride, so as to help prop up the money leaking government run railroad?  By Suttle World's recollection, the American taxpayer currently loses/subsidizes only $45 or so of every Amtrak ticket bought---over $250 a head for that really cool Zephyr train across the northwest. 

...Long overdue (couple of weeks), and props to the ever brilliant Ben Stein, for his quote:  "what we need is for government to get its foot off the economy's oxygen tube, and let it get back to work." 

...Suttle World is proud that today, January 8, SOTD features its first tune released in this decade/2010.  That's what the "record" says---yeah, in a, damn, I'm funny kinda way/"record."  The Doughboys do good work.  

...Coming events:  Gene, the Caucasian's Playoff Picks through the weekend.  Four for five for the season, and working on a four straight ticket cashing bonanza!

January 6, 2010

...Tough night for Tech fans.  First, Iowa gives the Jackets a beat down in the Orange Bowl while the 20th ranked cagers from North Ave. take it on the chin against rival Georgia in Athens.  Perhaps more pathetic is that the gentle surfer could have walked up to the box office and bought a ducat up to and after tip-off.

...Remote connectivity is achieved for the fist time in many moons, but is intermittent at best---making for yet another short update today.

January 5, 2010

...Its a travel day for Suttle World, so the lame update is truncated that much more.

...Props to Boise State that completed a perfect season last night against unbeaten TCU in the Fiesta Bowl, and in doing so collects a national championship.  Check that, the Suttle World staff steps in the remind Suttle World that there is no Division I college football championship, and that the Boise State team will receive a certificate suitable for framing if they print one for themselves.

January 4, 2010

...Yes, it is very cold in the great out of doors.  Enough said.

...Props to the Atlanta Falcons.  With a 20-10 win over the hapless Tampa Bay Bucs Sunday, the Falcons notch their first two consecutive winning seasons since the franchise expanded to Atlanta in 1966.  Cannon Ball Butler is a proud man this morning.

...Another NFL regular season is in the books, with playoffs set to begin this Saturday with rematches of Dallas/Philly and Bengals/Jets.  Sunday, there's yet another re-match from week 17when Green Bay visits Arizona.  New England and Baltimore make up the fourth and final first round weekend action.

...The new decade just keeps getting better.  Suttle World was a tad confused when it noticed that Soundgarden was among the top five searches on Yahoo this morning.  Further investigation reveals the reason:  one of the planet's most tedious acts is set to reunite this year.  Somehow mankind has survived the past 12 years without any input from the four piece from Seattle---the birthplace of more overrated music acts than any other American city.

January 3, 2010

...OK, so Suttle World takes a couple days off around the new year.  To quote the late Cardinal O'Connor (or a reasonable facsimile thereof, in the form of a nationally syndicated morning radio show producer, now simulcast on the Fox Business Network), "be glad for what ya get, ya little bastard heathens ya, bejesus."  Now, what exactly has the gentle surfer missed?

...A simply sublime several days with dear Suttle World friends Matt and Kelly Bruner.   Reviewing the short updates below, Suttle World will stop, and remind or inform the newer gentle surfer that we are talking author and recording artist Matt Bruner, as in Bruner's Texas Takes---one of the very few worthwhile efforts in Suttle World.  2010 was immediately preceded with a feast lovingly prepared by bride of Suttle World.  In other news, the two couples both remained conscious until after midnight.  Another complete repast of traditional southern New Year's Day cuisine was prepared by bride of Suttle World, and all finally discovered who the next Iron Chef will be, following a mini-marathon of jumbo shrimp and fried chicken head dishes that were prepared on the TV through the afternoon hours.  The fellowship of all was fun, and once again Suttle World is honored beyond words by the Bruner's visit.  2010?  So far, pretty damn good.

...Props to Bob Eubanks and the ditzy chick who sounds like Betty White for hosting the Travel Channel's coverage of the Tournament of Roses Parade.  Their keen insights into the faux-pas, malapropisms and just plain stupid commentary made the world's most photographed event riveting for Suttle World to watch for the first time in memory.  The team could give Chris Berman and Ray Knight a run for their money. 

...The now traditional outdoor NHL game is once again a smashing success, but leaves Suttle World that much more confused.  If hockey can gather their feces together to pull off something as big and successful as this, why not can't make some of the hard and simple changes in pay structure, acquiring a real TV contract, etc... that are necessary to, literally, keep this league afloat?  Suttle World stipulates that a dozen of so cities could always support major league hockey, but the NHL in its current form is on the verge of being the first "big league" to fold since well before WWII.  No, the USFL doesn't count, nor does soccer or mergers.

...Props to Leah Hitchings whose commentary cleared the AP wire over the weekend.  Seems as though Ms. Hitchings shares Suttle World's frustration with the decade that never was properly named.

...After reviewing the nameless decade for the best of stories, the Suttle World staff collectively volunteered to commit itself for a 72 hour evaluation.  Almost ten years to the date, the Time-Warner/AOL merger was completed---setting the tone for the next ten years.  2001, of course, saw the biggest spot news event since at least Pearl Harbor, when the September 11th attacks were made against the World Trade Centers and Pentagon.  A dubious war ensued in Iraq that continues at this writing.  Katrina visited in '05, and most of New Orleans is still a heap of rubble.  President George W. Bush finished his second term----successfully doubling the size of the federal government on his watch.  This was followed by the election of the first non-white in US history to be chief executive---a guy who re-doubled the size of the federal government in just eight months during a worldwide financial meltdown.   Unemployment tripled while the value of most real estate fell dramatically, along with  equity markets and the dollar.  Still, all was not dismal.  Suttle World debuted.  The Dictators came out of hiding for the first half of the decade, and released three lps (one new, one live, and one of old demos and such---equaling their production of the previous 25 years).  Suttle World once again slipped into the blissful arms of matrimony.  The Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic was initiated, and a wonderful friendship was rekindled with cuzin Matt.  Following careful consideration of the above, Suttle World is pleased to announce that the story of the decade is the matriculation of nephew Anthony Ridge Roberts as a member of Tucker High School's Class of 2009.

...Both sides of the aisle (damn, I'm gonna be funny) are in an uproar regarding airline security and the near disaster in the air over Detroit on Christmas Day.  Suttle World is curious as to why no one has found someone in Amsterdam to get a beat down.  That's where dude boarded the flight.

...For the record, no, it is not fun walking three dogs on a windy 11º morning as was the case at the western North Carolina Suttle World satellite headquarters this morning.  The high temp today will not reach the freezing mark, and the mercury will fall only to a balmy 14º for Monday morning's outing.  Openings remain on the sign up sheet.  Contact Suttle World for details.

December 31, 2009    NEW YEAR'S EVE

...It was a masterful piece of showmanship performed last night by cuzin Matt at the Back Room.  Friends were met, CDs were distributed, and a good time was had by all.  The festivities continue on what will most likely be a quite, and frozen precip free New Year's Eve that shall be celebrated by a fine in-house repast.

...Yep, gonna mail it in again today, and get to the best of ruminations over the weekend.  A safe and happy amateur night to each and every gentle surfer. 

December 30, 2009

...After careful calculation, Suttle World has determined that 2009 was one freakin crazy year that is to end with a blue moon on New Year's Eve.

...The Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters is proud to welcome Matt and Kelly Bruner who made their arrival Tuesday afternoon.  Suttle World, joined by bride of Suttle World later in the evening.  No specific plans are in the works for today, excepting Matt's triumphant return performance tonight at the Back Room in beautiful downtown Flat Rock.  In due deference to its guests, Suttle World signs off with this abbreviated late December update.

December 29, 2009

...Just short, as in two points worth.  Bride of Suttle World finishes a close second in her fantasy league's championship game, and the Mother Tuckers finish as runners up in this year's foray.  A season well managed.

...A morning of errands in preparation of the arrival of honored guests and other matters leave this morning's update short and sweet.  More news as it happens.

December 28, 2009

...Let the masses rejoice as the unnamed decade that encompasses 2000-2009 comes towards a close by crowning Suttle World's Team Elvis with its FIFTH  (two of them being "Winners" leagues!---a league composed only of those who had won their leagues the previous season) Yahoo public league fantasy football championship of the era!  Yes, the King is king again by virtue of a handy 15 point win in yesterday's championship action.  Meanwhile, bride of Suttle World must wait until the completion of tonight's Vikings/Bears matchup, and hold onto a precarious 30 point lead to take the pennant in her league.  Details tomorrow.  Having now completed its 18th season on fantasy football, Suttle World has come to fully appreciate what an absolutely silly game it is, but it does keep one interested in the 4:00 games most weeks.

...Suttle World asks the gentle surfer to hold that thought (of the NFL generally) as it segues into reflection on a week in which the bad guys/terrorists made some unfortunate gains.  A fire is set aboard a commercial flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, and then another organization hijacks the bus carrying the New York Giants to their last ever home game in the Meadowlands---replacing the NFC East team with a random selection of highly integrated males from a state psychiatric hospital.  See boys and girls, here at the western North Carolina Suttle World satellite headquarters, the cable TV viewer is held captive by the Panthers, and must witness their mostly awful contests on "any given Sunday."  Yesterday was no exception, and well worth the sacrifice to witness the Giants fold like a cardboard suitcase at home against an inferior team.  41-9 in a game with playoff implications!?  No doubt, Tiki Barber will be found to be the source of the Giants' hideous, mail-it-in "effort."

...On the home front, Suttle World is giddy with anticipation of what is now becoming a New Year tradition---a most welcome extended visit from cuzins Matt and Kelly.  The Texas couple honored Suttle World and bride of Suttle World last year, and its looking like something of a repeat.  Matt is set to perform at the Back Room on Wednesday, Dec. 30, while the remainder of the schedule is still being penciled in.  

...Given there's very little happening in the slowest news week of the year (next to mid-August in non-election years, 2009 excepted), Suttle World will follow the path of the lame in reflecting on the best of...  This time for both the year and the unnamed decade.  At this writing, the Suttle World staff is assembling various lists from other sources that Suttle World will examine, and comment on in the coming days.

...For the time being, Suttle World has a full day planned as it assembles all the necessities for its Y2K+10 emergency kit.

December 27, 2009

...Very late to the punch following a  dark day for Suttle World due to technical issues.  The schedule presses today, so we'll get right to Gene, the Caucasian's, fifth consecutive winning pick.  "Upon further review..." there's little that perks the Caucasian's interest after a quick glance at the board, so this weekend will be without a pigskin pick.  Alas.

December 25, 2009

...Suttle World extends its warmest best wishes for a merry Christmas to gentle surfers worldwide now that the big day has finally arrived.  A week ago, the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters was under the threat of what would finish as a foot of snow.  This morning finds the even more delightful threat of an "Ice Storm Warning," in effect until noon.  Fortunately, the threat doesn't appear to be nearly as dire as depicted, and should not interfere with Suttle World holiday travel plans later today.  Yes, its currently raining like a mother (an event that will permit the first sight of ground cover in a week), and the temperature is at the freezing mark, but climbing as daybreak approaches.

...The Suttle World staff remains hard at work, despite the holiday.  This morning it is tracking down rumors that the woman who so rudely shoved His Holiness last night prior to mass in Rome is the same hot chick who crashed the White House party with her husband a few weeks ago.  Suttle World is certainly pleased that no harm came to Benedict, but in both instances, is truly shocked that such things could happen in today's highly sensitized security environments.  It does occur to Suttle World that if everyone entering both St. Peter's and the White House had to take off their shoes, such things probably wouldn't happen.  Airports do it, and the gentle surfer doesn't see the Pope getting shoved around in there, now does it?

...Just a reminder (actually gloating would be a more accurate) that both Suttle World and bride of Suttle World begin competition in both of their respective fantasy football league championship games today with the next to last week of the NFL regular season getting underway tonight when San Diego visits Tennessee.  Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates have carried Suttle World's Team Elvis on their backs all year...  Bride of Suttle World has less interest in tonight's single contest, hidden on the NFL Network.  Suttle World finds both the lines, and unusually low payoffs offered to be of little interest wagering wise.

...Wassail on!

December 24, 2009

...6:00 am, Christmas Eve, what better time for the Senate to approve legislation that will guarantee each and every American reduced quality and access to medical care.  No, Suttle World still doesn't think the House will be able to reconcile this before the end of the year, but should it come to pass (damn, I'm funny), here's a little peak into the brave new world.  The gentle surfer is encouraged to travel to the nearest large, metropolitan "charity" hospital---the big public hospital where people go to the ER, and wait six hours to have a sore throat treated as gunshot victims are rolled by.  This is the future of the gentle surfer's health care should the single payer system (the ultimate goal of the Dems) appear.  Again, one quarter of those diagnosed with colon cancer in the UK die before their first appointment with an oncologist rolls around.

...Bride of Suttle World made a successful late return to the western North Carolina Headquarters last night.  Then denizens will each fight with some last minute shoppers today, respectively, and then settle in until tomorrow afternoon, when the entire crew returns to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor---returning the day following Christmas.

...The big day is already begun for the fat man with the reindeer.  As is the custom, NORAD is tracking Santa's course.  The gentle surfer may check on Mr. Kringle's progress by clicking here.

...Recent data from the Census Bureau indicates that the Tar Heel State had the third fastest growing population this year (in raw numbers), outdone only by Texas and, amazingly, California---the world's largest outpatient clinic.  Michigan, Maine and Rhode Island saw a drop in population.  

...Much like the rest of the week, its a slow news day in Suttle World.  Let the festivities begin.  The gentle surfer is urged to enjoy its Christmas Eve, and just a little reminder:  egg nog has elf urine it it.  A little know fact, but true (yeah, that's why it tastes like...).

December 23, 2009

...There has been more news than simply frozen precipitation in and around the western North Carolina Suttle World headquarters.  About a 1000 feet from the WNC HQ now stands a lone chimney,  Before Saturday night there was a two story house attached.  Amazingly, fire fighters arrived on the scene quickly in the aftermath of the winter storm, but the fire, still under investigation, leveled the home on Campbell Drive in about 30 minutes according to neighbors.  Three were at home when smoke was detected.  All escaped safely. 

...In another oversight by Suttle World, the winter solstice came and went on Monday without Suttle World reminding the gentle surfer that it now only has a little less than two years left before the end of the world.

...Attorneys General from around the nation are beginning to challenge to Constitutionality of the health deform bill that the Senate will vote on tomorrow night.  Seems as though there's something about buying Ben Nelson's vote with extra bucks for the Nebraska Medicaid program not providing equal protection under the law.  Those gosh darn Constitutional technicalities. 

...Atlanta rapper Treasure Island has been released from a federal prison in Arkansas and is headed to a halfway house in Georgia.  The Suttle World staff has just brought word that the gentleman in question in known merely by the initials TI.  

...No doubt old man Crouch was mighty proud of his quadruplets all being accepted by Yale (class of 2014).  That is until he did the math.  That's almost $600,000 in tuition for the four to finish their undergraduate work.

December 22, 2009

...Archaeologists on Monday unveiled what may have been the home of one of Jesus' childhood neighbors.  Its a two bedroom, one bath bungalow that is currently in foreclosure with Bank of America.

...It was a successful, albeit stressful, foray for bride of Suttle World who returned to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor yesterday.  Her return to the western North Carolina HQ is expected Wednesday.  Departure was aided by Mr. Plow who made several snow and ice clearing trips in front of the WNC HQ late Monday morning.

...Both Suttle World's Team Elvis and the fantasy squad managed by bride of Suttle World will play for their respective league championship's this week.

...Assisting to bring joy to an otherwise slow holiday week is cuzin Matt, and another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes.  The second paper back edition is being readied for release.

December 21, 2009

...Suttle World ponders as to what the many gentle surfers will be placing under the Suttle World tree this year.  Why, with all the extra cash on hand now that Gene, the Caucasian, has given four straight winning wagers that has magically turned what was a mere $400 in the gentle surfer's pocket into $1,040, Suttle World is expecting some very nice goodies.  To quote the friendly man at your neighborhood Otasco store:  "thanks, here's your change."

...A brisk 18º surrounded the Suttle World western North Carolina headquarters at day break today.  Bride of Suttle World, who, unfortunately, must make a foray to the south the next two days has delayed her departure this morning until Mr. Sun has the opportunity to make travel a bit less hazardous.  The start of bride of Suttle World's trip is that much easier following the removal of approximately 150 cubic feet of "snice" (© Suttle World, 2009) from the lower two-thirds of the western NC HQ driveway yesterday afternoon.  During and after the exercise, Suttle World came to a keen understanding as to why so many shuffle off this mortal coil with one hand on the orange shovel and the other clutched to the chest.  Today, Suttle World must dig out himself in order to prevent a riot in the Suttle World kennels.  Though not completely out, the call for kibbles is growing louder.

...Per usual:  the latest column by Thomas Sowell is genius as he provides readers with some holiday shopping tips.

December 20, 2009    

...The National Weather Service is now saying 10 inches of snow fell in and around the western North Carolina satellite headquarters Friday, and most all of it remains on this frozen Sunday morning.  Major arteries, such as interstate and US highways have been cleared, but secondary roads remain, for the most part, impassable.  This evening's dog walking session still has an opening.  Contact Suttle World for details.

...What's more important than a firm, principled, "pro-life" stance?  At least for Senator Ben Nelson, its extra Medicaid dollars for Nebraska.  And so the Democrats claim to have 60 votes to stop debate, and vote on their own special 1500+ pages of health care deform.  Suttle World can hear the gentle surfer's protestations from here:  didn't Suttle World proclaim there would be no health care deform bill?  Yes it did, and getting 60 votes to stop debate in the Senate is a hell of a long way from a bill on the President's desk.  Its going to be much closer than Suttle World figured, but it still aint gonna happen this year.

...Suttle World wonders as to whether David Axelrod aspires to one day have a disease named for him?

...Suttle World hears no protestations from the gentle surfer who cashed its third consecutive winning ticket at the wagering window last night.  Since the abbreviated prognostication season began, Gene, the Caucasian, has magically turned a $400 investment by the gentle surfer into $760, with an honest to God Sunday pick still to come.  The winning ticket comes at the expense of the Saints perfect season, as Dallas pulls off the upset in New Orleans.  As for today's pick, the Caucasian retreats to the six point, three team teaser that includes the dreadful that should keep it close enough for the outrageous lines to help (net):  Detroit +20 v. Arizona (yes, the Lions get 20 at home); Buffalo +13 v. New England (same deal); and Carolina +15 v. Minnesota (third verse, same as the first).  Pays 9:5.

December 19, 2009

...For four consecutive weeks, the upper left portion of the television screen's of local network affiliate stations for the Suttle World western North Carolina headquarters were constantly flashing with various winter weather warnings, watches and advisories.  The TV is hitting a mere .250, but has one hell of a slugging percentage.  Suttle World's best estimates puts the snowfall to have accumulated to at least the 8-10 inch neighborhood, while most of the area enjoyed a foot or more that began falling heavily, and shutting down interstates by early afternoon Friday.  Forewarned, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World made a very early departure, and arrived just prior to the onset of impassable conditions that will continue indefinitely.  The plow man doesn't cometh, so the denizens of the WNC HQ are officially stranded until further notice, albeit well stocked, and, obviously with electrical and techno connectivity.  The Suttle World Kennels very much enjoyed the winter storm.  Yesterday afternoon's walk in 4-5 inches of snow as it fell heavily about was a lovely holiday moment.  Fast forward to this morning when 10 inches or more had accumulated and then frosted over by a final onslaught of sleet and rain overnight.  Forty pound quadrupeds do not fully penetrate such a snow cap, and spring about despite their geriatric states.  In contrast, their geriatric biped humans weighing in at over four times the mass do fully penetrate the snow.  The gentle surfer preparing to engage in such behavior is advised to consult with their doctor first.  An opening remains for the afternoon walker.  Contact Suttle World here to apply.

...Local goats are being used to re-discover historic cemeteries in and around the Suttle World western NC satellite HQ.  The White House could take a cue here:  a real way to stimulate "shovel ready" goat job growth.  (Insert pun here).

...Will Gene, the Caucasian, working off a two-week-in-a-row ticket cashing frenzy have sage wagering advice for the gentle surfer this weekend before Christmas?  But, of course---especially given the Caucasian's limited entertainment options.  One NFL game is on tap for tonight, and provides what is seen by many many gentle surfers as a candy ass bet.  Suttle World sees it akin to the shrewd bettor that is not above watching the show pools while at the track.  A six point, two play teaser pays straight-up, even money.  That said, and given two different on-line books are offering it:  take (net) Dallas +15.5 @ New Orleans; and Dallas @ New Orleans under 60.6.  That's a lot of points, and look much more attractive to the actual lines themselves.  A more typical Sunday offering will come with tomorrow's update.

...Other obscure, but entertaining sports on the tube today include the Division III football championship at 11:00 on ESPN2.  Suttle World assumes its still on in Salem/Roanoke, VA where a hell of a lot  of snow fell yesterday as well.  Regardless, Mount Union of Ohio is supposed to take on Wisconsin-Whitewater.  Carolina at Texas probably won't be as good as Duke and Gonzaga at the Garden, but they're certainly the best college hoops has to offer nationally.  Cable or satellite impaired Hawks fans can find them tonight on good old WGN as they take on the Bulls (Suttle World doesn't often have the opportunity to take in the ball club), and the NCAA Division I Women's Volleyball Championship is tonight at 8:00 on ESPN.  Of course, the Bowl Season gets started in all its glory this afternoon with the ever popular New Mexico Bowl featuring Fresno State and Wyoming, to be followed by the breath taking St. Petersburg Bowl where Rutgers will take on Moscow State.

December 15, 2009

...As promised, remote publication of Suttle World continues seamlessly following a Monday foggy foray.

...Christmas comes early for Suttle World's fantasy football Team Elvis that backs into the post season due to a huge/24 point Monday night by Frank Gore for the lowly Niners. Gore propelled another team to an unlikely victory over an opponent that seemed destined for the 4th and final playoff slot. Team Elvis finishes the regular season at 8-6 in a league where the #1 seed was the only 9-5 club. Several million ran a team on Yahoo again this year, but few put a team in the post season scoring fewer points (under 1200---next to last in the league). Semi final action begins Thursday night, in an NFL week that also features two games Saturday in addition to the traditional Sunday fare.

...Suttle World ponders the utility of explaining that the three detectives shot (all non-life threatening) yesterday during a drug raid in RI being more victims of the "war on drugs"...the simple economics that creates the violence inherent in prohibition, or the more righteous indignation about adults, ostensibly living in a "free country," being able to decide for themselves what they will and will not put in their own bodies...Nah, file it under "Dead Horse, Beaten."

 December 14, 2009

...No need to thank Suttle World.  Yes, channeling through Gene, the Caucasian, a second consecutive football bet pays 9:5 easily.  Such does not appear to be the case in the fantasy world where Suttle World's Team Elvis will not prevail in the final week of the regular season, and miss the playoffs based on the first tie breaker.

...Travel day Monday for Suttle World, and what better way to both aid in the composition of this morning's abbreviated update, and get the week started off right, than with cuzin Matt and another of his scintillating Texas Takes?

December 13, 2009

...About a single degree Fahrenheit overnight separated Suttle World with the ability to communicate with the rest of the known universe this morning.  At this writing the mercury would stand just above 32 degrees if Suttle World had a mercury filled thermometer handy.  Digital being the next best thing (truly next best in that a properly calibrated and sealed mercury thermometer is about as close as the gentle surfer is going to get to a perpetual motion machine---a true comfort for most males of the species), 32.3 will have to suffice for now with a rather unpleasant rain falling.  Temps are expected to climb as the day progresses, so the Winter Storm Warning expired, as predicted, at 6:00 this morning.  And so, the humans come out the winners in the first serious brush with mother nature (proper noun?) this winter season.  Suttle World admonishes the chortling gentle surfers who dwell in large northern metropolises.  Winter weather events do receive an undo amount of attention because they are rare, much like National League pennants in most aforementioned Yankee outposts.  At 2500 feet, the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters and surrounds are less apt to panic at the mention of frozen precip, but the deal is:  ice trumps all; and it was damn near an inch of ice that is currently not being enjoyed by the singular degree.

...Sunday means its time to take a look at the tote board for any afternoon investment opportunities.  Gene, the Caucasian, is none too thrilled at the offerings, but in the spirit of guidance will take a stab in the form of the tried and true three team, six point teaser that today features (net):  Atlanta +16.5 v. New Orleans; Carolina +19.5 @ New England; and Carolina at New England under 49.  Pays 9:5.

...An abbreviated Sunday update.  The gentle surfer is advised to check their locally broadcast august talking heads to fill in the details. 

December 12, 2009

...Once again Suttle World is thwarted by an inept staff and technical issues that prevented publication mid week.  A back up system shall be readied this weekend so that Suttle World is not dependent on server farms in Bangladesh to push forward.

...Yes, Suttle World is starting to drag the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the Every Day Is Saturday TV Cartoon Theme Song of the Day shtick.   Musically, especially given the Scatman Crothers performance, the Hong Kong Phooey theme is far from the worst, but a bust of a show---in this case a 16 week wonder.  Certainly its no match for the much beloved George of the Jungle?  Suttle World would agree, but hasten to point out only 17 episodes of that half hour show were produced, though they did run over a three season stretch.  See boys and girls, in the olden days when you had to actually draw all the frames, it took a lot longer to make a cartoon, so fewer shows were produced.

...A Winter Storm Warning is in currently in effect for the western North Carolina Suttle World headquarters, where temps dipped below twenty last night.  Actually the warning is set to take effect at 6:00 pm this evening and carry over until 6:00 AM Sunday morning.  This may well be a true French Toast alert, and, unfortunately, Suttle World will have to compete with the bread and milk hoarding mob to simply stock the pantry with a few items intended for everyday use.  Suttle World continues to endorse the notion of localities declaring States of Hysteria that evoke certain rules upon retailers.  Chief among them would be a check-out aisle at each grocery for those who are not crazed, and just happened to have to pick up some stuff.

...What's more fun than fighting with a bread and milk mob?  A goon squad meeting in Copenhagen to worship a naked emperor works for starts.  The collective imbecility of the summit, and its alleged objectives (as opposed to the true objective of global wealth redistribution) make Suttle World's hair hurt.  Previous sage takes on the subject can be found in the Suttle Security Council Daily Brief Archives.  

...Wrapped in a holiday motif:  Suttle World encourages the gentle surfer shopping for a Tiger take to look elsewhere.  Word on the street indicates there are are more than a few to be found.

...The Saturday sports calendar has slowed down mightily now that college football has gone on hiatus before the beginning of the compelling 30 game bowl season.  The exceptions would be the Division II playoffs (how can they possibly pull it off?), and the traditional Army-Navy---a game of which the last 15 minutes are always worth a look.  Another handful of early college hoops games are to be had by the gentle surfer that consults its local listings.  Yes, Kentucky looks great, including blowing out Carolina in Lexington.  Suttle World would hasten to add 1)  looking good in late March is when it counts, and 2)  Suttle World is uncertain as to how many victories accumulated now will still count in a few years once Calipari has moved on to coach the Raiders.  Gene, the Caucasian, is pouring over his charts and graphs at this writing in time to begin a late start to what has become a Suttle World tradition.  Two wagers have been offered to date this season.  One has paid, and the gentle surfer's $200 worth of bets is now worth $280. 

December 8, 2009

...Its a travel day for Suttle World, making for an abbreviated update this morning.

...Breaking news...something or someone else broke at Tiger's pad (damn, I'm funny) early this morning where all major media outlets are now reporting that paramedics were called to the Orange County residence.

...The battle against colorectal cancer in the U.S. has been a growing success story: The death rate dropped roughly 20 percent in the last 10 years.  Meanwhile, in the worker's paradise, the United Kingdom, 25% of those diagnosed with colorectal cancer die before their first appointment with an oncologists rolls around.

December 7, 2009

...Sixty-eight years ago today, the nation of Japan launched an unprovoked act of military hubris and brutality that resulted in the deaths of over 2,400 Americans at Pearl Harbor, and began the United States' involvement in World War II that would eventually take nearly 400,000 additional American lives.

...192 nations (who knew there were so many) are in attendance for the climate change summit that opened today in Copenhagen.  Meanwhile a more sparse crowd of 173 nations will have representatives on hand for the Tooth Fairy summit that begins tomorrow in Istanbul.

...A little inclusive language to get the week started...¿Los Falcones aspiran mucho?  Si', Falcones aspiran mucho.

...On the collegiate gridiron, the spectacular post season gets underway Saturday, December 19 when Fresno State takes on Wyoming in the always thrilling New Mexico Bowl.  Thirty-three days following their last appearances, Alabama and Texas will meet in the BCS Championship game.  Brilliant, no?

...Beware, this could be the opening the food police have been looking for.  A 25-year-old Port St. Lucie man was arrested for allegedly rubbing a hamburger on his wife's face during an argument.  Vegan activists and other groups of generally unhealthy looking people are insisting authorities charge the man with assault with a deadly weapon.

...Also getting the second week of December off on the right foot is cuzin Matt, with another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes 

December 6, 2009

...Bloomberg is reporting this morning that "President Barack Obama plans to head to the U.S. Capitol to press Senate Democrats to agree on health legislation."  Suttle World would respectfully suggest the president would benefit more from spending the time pressing the drapes in the White House---at least that would accomplish something.  Suttle World is on record that there will be no health care bill that comes out of the Senate this year, much less a conference mark-up that can be presented for Obama's signature before Guy Lombardo, err, Dick Clark, err, whoever the hell does the New Year's Eve thingy now when the big pickle drops.  If both Joe Lieberman and Bernie Sanders threaten filibusters on either side of a "government option..."   It aint gonna happen this year, and if it doesn't happen this year, it doesn't happen in an election year with Democrats running, quite deservedly, scared with double digit unemployment and an angry electorate breathing down their necks.

...Suttle World would sleep much better if Barbara Boxer were asking folks "would you like fries with that" for a living, as opposed to being a member of the US Senate.

...No need to thank Suttle World, or Gene, the Caucasian, for that matter---it was just a friendly suggestion on yesterday's college football action that paid a tidy 9:5. Cincinnati/Pitt was simply a great ball game.  Alabama looked ungodly in making Florida look mortal, and Tech holds on in the second half that Suttle World never made it through.  Suttle World would also like to be the first to volunteer to accept the bowl bid phone call, and use the appropriate language with the fat stooge on the other end that the AD at Texas Christian University might find unfit.  Suttle World truly doesn't get it.  If following the money is a reliable modus operandi, there are literally billions of dollars on the table from a network for a playoff.  A lot more post season bucks would be generated, so everyone gets more.  What's the problem here?

...Suttle World sends its thoughts and condolences to those affected by the loss of over a hundred lives in a Russian night club fire over the weekend---evidently ignited by a pyrotechnics display.  As some measure of comfort, Suttle World would hasten to point out that at least the dearly departed didn't go out attempting to see Great White.

...Talking heads time---where the blind lead the lame, and a nation clamors to learn more about a 9-iron to the window of an Escalade than a 1,400 page health deform bill.

...Pete Rozelle proved beyond doubt that parity can equal prosperity.  It can also be rather ugly as is the case with week 12/13 of the NFL season.  There are a host of what should be blow outs and a handful of potentially close contests, but only because both teams are dreadful.  Now in its 18th season of operation, Suttle World's fantasy Team Elvis, must run the table the next three weeks to make this year's post season.

December 5, 2009 

...As previously warned, Suttle World is intermittently technically challenged (as always, because of the ever inept Suttle World staff), and such became the case shortly following publication Tuesday.  Regardless, Suttle World will push forward with all the fortitude that it can muster to tell the gentle surfer what it so desperately longs to know.

....The Suttle World western North Carolina satellite headquarters is giddy over the likelihood of the season's first snowfall throughout Saturday, with little, if any accumulation expected.  Those a thousand feet or so more elevated should see significant accumulation in the 4-6 inch range.

...Through its own sheer neglect, Suttle World is fully and completely responsible for its failure to publish late yesterday, thereby acknowledging the sixth anniversary of the most recent wedding between Suttle World and bride of Suttle World in Hanover, VA.  Hanover County Magistrate Wren officiated the ceremony, as security controlled the throng of three (Suttle World, bride of Suttle World and Magistrate Wren).  The drive-by wedding was while en route to NYC, where, the following day two feet of snow would fall in Central Park.  The gentle surfer in need of snow the first weekend in December now knows the team to call or email for more details and pricing (first class air fare is required).

...College football---the Sisyphus of sports.  Today's featured exhibition is, of course, the SEC title game, and will, most likely, be a more exciting contest than the Cheetos Championship/whatever the hell the big BCS exhibition is called.  Its the game played about two months after either team has taken the field.  Suttle World finds the betting public to be wise in making Florida a 5.5 point favorite.  In addition to the Suttle World axiom of not wagering hard earned cash on 19 year olds, Suttle World is not tempted by either side of this line straight-up,  That said, the gentle surfer just aching for some action this Saturday might find a decent wager in the form of the trusty three team. six point teaser taking (net) Cincinnati +4 @ Pitt; Alabama +11.5 v. Florida; and Georgia Tech +5 v. Clemson in the ACC championship game.  Each exhibition has great promise in the amusement department.  The gentle surfer is urged to check its local listings.

...There has always been a positive correlation between the indexes (or is that indices?) of Suttle World Joy and the Dow Jones Industrials, but Suttle World takes some comfort in the DOW shaking itself back to a flat Friday close.  This followed a 125 point upward opening on a jobs report that came in at an even 10%---down from 10.2% in October.  Certainly Suttle World would agree that a decline in the unemployment rate is a good thing, but Suttle World has difficulty seeing much room for further downward movement in the current environment.  Here's the deal:  (Suttle World works fast and loose with some numbers here, but they're real close and make the math easier; and if the gentle surfer is in doubt, as Casey so eloquently stated, "you can look it up").:  Small business has created 80% of the jobs in the US economy over the past 20+ years.  Many economists would argue that small business created 100% of "new jobs" in the past decade.  Regardless, about 80% of those jobs are created by only 20% of the small businesses (the "jumbo shrimp" of the group).  The company that last serviced the gentle surfer's HVAC system is probably an excellent example.  Private and individually owned, almost all are subchapter (s) corporations.  This means the big, bad boss man (in this case, pop of the mom and pop/Mr. Riley of Riley's Heating and Air) does the books for the business, and then shows any profit on the appropriate line of his 1040, much like the overwhelming number of workers do with a W2.  There's a catch.  Since Mr. Riley has been at it for 20 years, and busting his ass, he's built a business with nine full time employees.  He has five "trucks" on the road doing service calls.  He's worked 70+ hours a week since they first opened the door, and now this has parlayed himself into the stratosphere of the "evil rich/" having an income (the profit of Riley's Heating and Air) of a quarter-mil or more.  The phones ring at Riley's Heating and Air.  Winter's coming, and folks need to make sure their heat will work properly.  Riley is booked solid, and is beginning to refer some service calls to trusted colleagues/competitors.  Logic would dictate that Riley expand, and hire some folks, but the geezer has some questions first.  "I'm pretty sure the Bush tax cuts will expire next year, and my effective tax rate will increase 5%; many want a tax increase on folks in my bracket for various and sundry reasons, and the cap on Social Security earnings that may be taxed could fall by the wayside, costing me another 5%-8%.  I may or may not have to buy my employees health coverage (even though they might already be covered), and I have no idea what that might cost."  Old man Riley did not make it 20 years by being rash.  Sure he could hire another tech, buy another truck and grow Riley's Heating and Air a fraction even in these dismal times, but the sage Riley will instead stand on the sidelines, because no one can give him a clue of what to expect the government to do to him.  Mr. Riley is doing OK.  Sure, times have been better, but he's not worried about keeping his lights on.  The employee he may have hired (and the multiplier effect of the extra truck, wages, supplies, etc...) may not enjoy that luxury.  (A pretty decent take on the fly.  With some editing...Suttle World is becoming comfortable in the saddle/stroller again. 

...Hey...not bad for a late update following canine transport, ministering to the long lost, healing the blind, and helping the sick to see.  Suttle World's not even back in full swing, and still, it gives, and give and gives...

December 2, 2009

...A shout out to cuzin Matt (as in Bruner's Texas Takes, and his most recently released CD, "Drive In Sky.") who graced stately Roberts/Suttle Manor yesterday evening.  In the ATL for a regular whirlwind tour, as always, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World were honored by the visit.  A lovely repast ensued at a local eatery, with the party returning to the Manor just in time for the most gracious hosts to treat dear Matt with...

...The speech by President Obama last night at West Point was about as good a job as Suttle World could have expected.  Each of the last two Commanders in Chief have persuaded Suttle World to initiate, retaliate or escalate a military operation that were unsuccessful at best, and disasters in many cases.  Further examination of the nuts and bolts of the latest Afghani strategy is necessary, before Suttle World can give a more cogent take.

...A piece of housekeeping as Suttle World begins to resume regularly scheduled programming.  Suttle World remains periodically technically challenged---making especially week day updates abbreviated for the time being.  "Courage," is the advice Suttle World has for the gentle surfer in the interim.

...A rare, 5-carat pink diamond was auctioned off for a record $10.8 million in Hong Kong on Tuesday, according to a Reuter's story.  Tempting though it may be, Suttle will remain steadfast with its manta to not shoot fish in a barrel by making any reference to the irony and entendre of it being a "pink" diamond."

...The Simpsons' 20th anniversary special will air Jan. 10. 

...Props to the Hawks on their 12-5 start,  The current #3 seed in the Eastern Conference, host Toronto tonight at Philips.

December 1, 2009

...Ok, a few fixes to work out, and the gentle surfer is up and running once again with Suttle World who makes a triumphant return for the first of December.  Regular updates begin now---almost.  Time constraints are not conducive to a lengthy morning update today.  Patience.

 Dismissed!

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