©Mitch Industries, 2003
Mission
Statement
Twain wrote: "The difference
between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between
lightning and the lightning bug." With that in mind please allow me
to show you the neat little periodically illuminated jar with holes punched in
the lid for air that is Suttle World.
Every day is Friday, September 03, 2010
Mr.
Eraser just keeps coming up with good ideas.
As opposed to deleting these sage rants, why
not archive them for
generations to come?
Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing
Archives
...Daybreak will discover the extent of the damage caused by Earl as it passed by the Outer Banks of North Carolina Thursday night. Suttle World stipulates that the gentle surfer pays its money, and, in doing so, the gentle surfer takes its chances. Opening shop in a hurricane prone area would seem to fall under such a classification. That said, the business lost by small businesses along the eastern seaboard this Labor Day weekend, in an already depressed economy, is truly sad. The bright side is that, just as Suttle World had predicted months ago, in a hastily called news conference overnight, President Obama blamed Earl on the Weather Channel (and, of course, the previous Bush administration), and insisted that the cable outlet would be held fully and completely accountable for all damage and lost business caused by the storm. As an aside, the gentle surfer may have noticed that Suttle World finally cleared up this particular page, while adding to the ever expanding Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing Archives. A search just performed on just over a month's worth of takes now present, shows the president's name appearing only five times, including this paragraph. Suttle World finds this to be a possibly very valid indicator/measure to be followed by major pollsters.
..."(LiveScience.com) Mass extinctions have served as huge reset buttons that dramatically changed the diversity of species found in oceans all over the world, according to a comprehensive study of fossil records. The findings suggest humans will live in a very different future if they drive animals to extinction, because the loss of each species can alter entire ecosystems." Suttle World would hasten to make two points unmentioned in the above: 1) Over 99% of all animal and plant species that have ever existed in the history of the planet are now extinct. 2) Only 851 shopping days remain until the Mayan calendar and life comes to an end on December 21, 2012, so none of this makes a damn bit of difference anyway.
..."(AP) The private sector is forecast to add a net total of only 41,000 jobs [for August], the fewest since January, which isn't enough to keep up with population growth. The jobless rate is expected to increase to 9.6 percent from 9.5 percent, the first rise since April." The BLS numbers will be released later this morning---numbers that are only going to deteriorate between now and November 2nd/election day.
...Props to the alma mater of bride of Suttle World, Georgia State University, on a 41-7 beat down of Shorter, and to the just over 30,000 who turned out at the Georgia Dome to see the school's first ever football game in the ATL Thursday night. Suttle World still isn't sure the cavernous Dome to be the best choice of venues, but with 67 year old Bill Curry at the helm, its all upward and onward from here for the mighty Panthers.
September 2, 2010
..."(AP) SILVER SPRING, Md. A gunman
police shot to death after he took hostages at Discovery Channel's headquarters
said he hated the company's shows such as "Kate Plus 8" because they
promote population growth and its environmental programming because it did
little to save the planet." Suttle World thought that it had covered
these situations thoroughly on more than one occasion of late, but obviously it
hasn't taken---so one more time. Just as suicide is rarely necessary to
get out of a bad performance (the show will eventually end), please put down the
firearm, pick up the remote control and change the freakin channel. Are
there any questions? Thank you.
...Forecasters should get a much better handle on the track of hurricane Earl Thursday, and as to which areas, if any, will be subjected to what is expected to be a category three storm as it heads up the east coast. Regardless of the outcome, a tremendous degree of damage has already been done to coastal areas from where a Labor Day weekend throng of tourists have now fled. The pic to the right comes courtesy of NASA, was shot from the International Space Stations, and provides a little perspective regarding the potential further havoc that Earl can visit.
...The good news is that the Braves pushed their home record to 49-18 with a 4-1 over the Padres last night. The bad new is that the Phillies refuse to lose, ergo Atlanta retains its three game lead in the National League East.
September 1, 2010
...The short and not so sweet Suttle World take on Iraq: seven and a half years, a thousand lost American lives and hundreds of billions of dollars spent. Now the pullout begins, and Iraq is less stable than before the invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein began. The vital national security interests of the United States are diminished by virtue of said instability.
..."NEW YORK (Reuters) U.S. private employers unexpectedly cut 10,000 jobs in August compared to a revised gain of 37,000 in July, a report by a payrolls processor showed on Wednesday." At this writing, just before the opening bell, DOW futures are up almost 100 points. Suttle World is very confused.
August 31, 2010
...The weather has broken at the elevation of 2500' in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0. To paraphrase the late, great Ted Baxter, Suttle World will now pause for a second consecutive day to commemorate the end of August, 2010.
August 30, 2010
..."(AP) NEW YORK Yoko Ono is planning a series of events in Iceland to mark what would have been John Lennon's 70th birthday. The artist and peace campaigner will light the Imagine Peace Tower illuminated memorial, located on the island of Vioey near Icelandic capital Reykjavik, on Oct. 9. A special performance by the Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band will follow the ceremony." Yes, Suttle World also wondered why the hell Iceland, but the last line of the story gives it away. A tiny, economically beat down, island nation is one of the few places on the planet where the Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band can perform---there is no escape.
...Its down to Hawaii and Japan (insert joke here) to battle it out for the the 2010 Little League World Series title in Williamsport this afternoon (3:00 EDT - ABC).
..."(Dan Wetzel - Yahoo Sports) Couture (20-10) then mounted Toney for some ground-and-pound and eventually was able to choke the mostly defenseless Toney." This written of the "fight" last night in Boston matching better than tin can, heavyweight boxer, James Toney, against mixed marshal arts veteran Randy Couture. Regardless, it is simply much more detail than Suttle World requires.
..."(AP) [Bret] Favre threw for 187 yards and two interceptions, one that Thomas returned 86 yards for a touchdown in Minnesotas 24-13 victory over the Seattle Seahawks on Saturday night." SSDS. That's "...Different Season" for the gentle surfer not in the know.
August 28, 2010
..."(AP) SAN FRANCISCO About 200 inmates rioted at Folsom State Prison and shots were fired by guards to quell the disturbance. Seven inmates were hospitalized but officials said it wasn't clear how many suffered gunshot wounds." Suttle World contends that the gentle surfer just can't beat a good old fashioned prison riot every so often, and Folsom Prison at that! Much like a train wreck, its a gift that just keeps on giving.
...Speaking of prison and trains, Suttle World pauses for a rare and brief (much like presidential news conferences) take on SOTD. Unfortunately, Charlie Pride has slipped under the radar for all this time, and makes his first appearance today with a ditty that went to #1 on Billboard's Country Chart in 1971---one of THIRTY-SIX #1 records for Pride.
...Tough break for the kids from Columbus, GA who were eliminated from the Little League World Series in Williamsport yesterday. Props on a campaign well fought.
August 27, 2010
...The first official bear sighting at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 is in the books. At or about 7:30 (EDT) Thursday evening Suttle World gazed onto the west lawn of the estate to see the north end of a southbound Yogi some 15 feet from the windows through which Suttle World was looking. Bride of Suttle World was alerted, as the standard, government issue, black bear reversed course, circled a cherry tree, and then continued to lumber southward, and, presumably, off of the grounds. Both Suttle World and bride of Suttle World agreed the creature to be either a female or adolescent male---weighing in at an estimated 150 pounds or so (there was no time to grab a camera, much less the bathroom scales). Memo to the stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 canine crew: you dogs suck---having not made a peep from the garage where they luxuriated as the bear, by deduction, passed immediately next to their domicile.
..."(AP) WARSAW, Ohio Strippers dressed in bikinis sunbathe in lawn chairs, their backs turned toward the gray clapboard church where men in ties and women in full-length skirts flock to Sunday morning services. The strippers, fueled by Cheetos and nicotine, are protesting a fundamentalist Christian church whose Bible-brandishing congregants have picketed the club where they work. The dancers roll up with signs carrying messages adapted from Scripture, such as "Do unto others as you would have done unto you," to counter church members who for four years have photographed license plates of patrons and asked them if their mothers and wives know their whereabouts." Works for Suttle World---these folks deserve each other. Suttle World would suggest the congregation take up another cause. The talent pool for a strip club in Warsaw, OH would seem to be sufficiently insufficient for the sin den to stay in business long.
..."(AP) The Commerce Department on Friday will revise its estimate for economic growth in the April-to-June period and Wall Street economists forecast it will be cut almost in half, to a 1.4 percent annual rate from 2.4 percent. That's a sharp slowdown from the first quarter, when the economy grew at a 3.7 percent annual rate, and economists say it's a taste of the weakness to come. The current quarter isn't expected to be much better, with many economists forecasting growth of only 1.7 percent." Yes, the gentle surfer is encouraged to continue to enjoy the glorious stimulus bought recovery while it lasts. 2011 is gonna get ugly.
August 26, 2010
...Twas a techno glitch that felled internet service to and from Suttle World Headquarters Wednesday, preventing publication late into yesterday. Fear not, the gentle surfer didn't miss much.
...The reaction from The Dictators underground was fast and furious to Suttle World discovering a billboard in the vicinity of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0---a pic now making its rounds of the net.
...No, Suttle World does not wish to discuss the Braves blowing a nine run lead in Colorado yesterday.
August 24, 2010
...Suttle World wonders as to whatever happened to the Elvis sightings that were ubiquitous in the years following his "death," and as to why the hobby never caught on with other celebs that prematurely bit the big one. Suttle World doesn't recall anyone claiming to having seen Princess Di recently at the Burger King drive thru. No post mortem Michael Jackson sightings at the Wal-Mart in Pensacola, Anna Nicole Smith at a Hooters in Queens, etc... Is it just Suttle World, or does any other gentle surfer sense a whiff of the Counsel on Foreign Relations in the air?
...The full and complete makeover of the east big ass room of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 has come to a most successful close. Bride of Suttle World appears to be genuinely pleased with the final product, ergo Suttle World is genuinely pleased with the final product.
August 23, 2010
...Pigment alteration/painting continued into a second day in the east big ass room of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 Sunday. Mercifully, it was also concluded in a manner with which the denizens are pleased, albeit nearly paralyzed by the ergs required to finish the project, with furniture movement on tap for today.
...Meanwhile back in the true dog days of August (in pleasant, stark contrast to the actual ambient conditions in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 at present)---how slow is it? "(AP) ANAHEIM, Calif. Police say a man fell about 20 feet while waiting to get on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror ride at Disney's California Adventure theme park in Anaheim. The 20-year-old man was treated for minor injuries at University of California, Irvine, Medical Center and released." Suttle World contends that this "news" story doesn't meet the man bites dog test, and would only cross the wire in late August.
August 22, 2010
...Every Day Is Saturday turned out to be pigment alteration/painting day in the east big ass room of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0. Some minor touch up remains before final clean up and a return of furnishings to the aforementioned big ass room completes the (including the floor) now two week old project. Today's question at hand is as to whether the denizen work crew will be able to overcome arthritis, rheumatitis, seborrheic dermatitis, and numerous other maladies brought on by the menacing ergs of yesterday's accomplishments to carry forward today. Updates as they happen.
..."(AP) In 2009, about 140 of the 16,000 golf facilities in the country closed and 50 opened, said Greg Nathan, a vice president at the National Golf Foundation, which represents 4,000 courses nationwide. Mottola said that the industry has lost 100 clubs a year for the past four years. (The figures count nine-hole courses as half a facility.)" Not that this is exactly news to Suttle World nor any gentle surfer who owns a sand wedge---the quote simply showed up in a wire story, and gave Suttle World some pause for consideration. First, things have changed a bit since Suttle World (and the usual suspects) would wait endless hours to get to the first tee BITD to enjoy starter, Johnny Asshole, barking out marching orders through a bullhorn during our backswings. Particularly in the ATL, there simply weren't many daily fee holes to be had. Now courses are empty, and the bullhorn is being used to plead with passers by for a potential player. Second, who were the geniuses that backed any new development in the past decade in an oversaturated market? Sure, the Great Depression 2.0 has had a giant impact (especially given the huge real estate variable), but this was an inevitability in the micro-golf market even if the remainder of the economy had kept chugging along. The good news: its cheaper to play, and little, if any, wait time is involved before any given shot (depending on the group in which oneself is playing).
..."(AP) RIO DE JANEIRO Heavily armed drug gang members engaged in an intense firefight with police, then fled into a luxury hotel popular with foreign tourists and held about 30 people hostage for three hours Saturday before surrendering." Suttle World would like to thank the Brazilian Department of Tourism for contributing to this take.
..."(AP) SEOUL, South Korea North Korea appears to have added Facebook to the social networking sites it recently joined to ramp up its propaganda war against South Korea and the U.S." Suttle World wonders how many friend requests North Korea has received since setting up its page, excepting Barbara Streisand, of course.
...Props to the ball club from Columbus, GA that came up big with a win over Hawaii at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA yesterday. The double elimination format has yet to send anyone home, but all is to be resolved in the next week.
August 21, 2010
...Belated Suttle World take on the incredible, edible..."WASHINGTON (Reuters) A second Iowa egg farm is recalling eggs as part of an investigation into a U.S. salmonella outbreak that is linked to almost 300 illnesses across the country, federal regulators said on Friday...The first potential source is another Iowa egg producer, Wright County Egg, which recalled 380 million eggs on Thursday." Suttle World stipulates that such outbreaks are the unfortunate inherent reality of "industrial" agriculture in which the spread of disease is more likely. That said, Suttle World finds the truly remarkable moral of this story is how great a job the FDA and other federal agencies do in the areas of food contamination and epidemiology. Be they proper functions of the federal government or not, it is refreshing to see a job regularly well done out of Washington.
...Now back to business as usual: "(AP) WASHINGTON The deepwater drilling moratorium in the Gulf of Mexico costs at least 23,000 jobs, according to a federal document that weighed the economic impact and alternatives to the drilling ban." Other genius plans this particular federal government has for a staggering US economy (the one with the double digit unemployment): a big tax increase on potential job creators starting January 1, and the other big plan for 2011---compel all Americans to drive rubber band cars that use the same technology as the little balsa wood air planes with which the gentle surfer became familiar in its youth. Suttle World would suggest that Congress and the White House cease current operations, and begin searching the countryside for salmonella tainted eggs.
...Props to the always astute Charles Krauthammer who quite rightly notes that the current administration can no longer claim that it inherited this economy from its predecessors. "By virtue of spending over a TRILLION DOLLARS in stimulus, they have now bought this economy."
..."(AP) BRUSSELS The lead singer of a British pop trio climbed a telecommunications mast behind the main stage at a Belgian rock festival and leaped to his death in the parking lot below, police said Saturday. Twenty-two-year-old Charles Haddon of Ou Est Le Swimming Pool died late Friday during the Pukkelpop festival in Hasselt, a town in eastern Belgium. District attorney Marc Rubens said police were treating the death as a suicide." Suttle World thought this had been covered earlier in the week---tempting though it may be, just wait. The hideous show will be over at some point.
August 20, 2010
...Jason Heyward is the bomb! Wednesday night's walk off base hit was just another example of a kid (he's been able to legally buy alcohol for two weeks now) who has tremendously honed baseball skills rarely seen this early into what should be quite a career. Suttle World might stick Heyward in a different spot in the order, but stipulates that the telephone at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 isn't exactly ringing off the hook with offers to manage major league ball clubs.
...While in the baseball aisle...what's more fun than watching Jason Heyward have a Rookie of the Year season? Well, professional punk-ass Roger Clemens being indicted by a federal grand jury on perjury before Congress charges would be one. "(AP) The former pitcher faces a combined maximum sentence of 30 years in prison and a $1.5 million fine if convicted on all charges. However, under U.S. sentencing guidelines, he would probably face no more than 15 to 21 months in prison." Ironically, the confinement wouldn't necessarily allow many of his new friends to throw at Roger's head----more likely, many a head may be thrown at good old Roger.
..."(San Jose Mercury-News) As concertgoers watched aghast, a man at the Mountain Winery venue plunged to his death Thursday night after diving onto the stage and landing next to the lead singer of The Swell Season, witnesses said. At about 10 p.m., lead singer Glen Hansard had just finished a song and was bantering with the crowd, poking fun at a guitar player in his band when witnesses say a man suddenly jumped off the roof near the lighting rig." Memo to the gentle surfer: yes, Suttle World will admit to having attended shows at which it considered suicide as a reasonable means of escape. Despite the occasional temptation, Suttle World cautions the gentle surfer that eventually the lights will come up, and everybody can go home sans a body bag. Now, let's be careful out there.
...For the few gentle surfers that may not have caught the bull fight in Taffala, Spain where the bull won Wednesday by going Ron Artest---heading into the crowd and taking out a couple of fans, the video link is here. Suttle World could get down with bull fighting if things went like this more often.
...Its interior ambient pigment alteration day at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0. Other gentle surfers might simply call the exercise painting. Regardless, the big ass room is empty, so why not take advantage of the opportunity. Oh happy day. Actually, at this writing, because the chamber is empty, the task is envisioned as being a reasonably simple task. Stay tuned for updates as they develop or deteriorate.
August 18, 2010
..."(AP) Average scores on the ACT college entrance exam inched downward this year, yet slightly more students who took the test proved to be prepared for college, according to a report released Wednesday."
..."WASHINGTON (AFP) Most young Americans entering university this year can't write in cursive, think email is too slow, that Beethoven's a dog and Michelangelo a computer virus, according to an annual list compiled by two academics at a US college."
...Brett Favre is as predictable as a casino's take, and, therefore is deserving of little mention until Labor Day weekend, when the NFL regular season begins.
...Most notable is a sad AMF to Bobby Thompson who shuffled off this mortal coil Monday. He was 86. "The shot heard around the world" is a tad quieter this morning.
August 17, 2010
...Suttle World has now emerged from mourning the 33rd anniversary of the King's tumble from the throne that was commemorated worldwide yesterday. Elvis was a world class entertainer, and may have done more for harmonious race relations in the US than any other white guy that has come down the pike.
...Suttle World is now proudly registered to compete in its 19th consecutive year of fantasy football, and is equally proud to announce that bride of Suttle World will also be an owner in an on-line league, albeit with all owners in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0, that aspires to 12 teams for the coming campaign.
...Belated take on the PGA...The rules are the rules, and in golf, the rules are, perhaps, more sacrosanct than any other sport. Yes, Dustin Johnson was aware, and Dustin nor Suttle World has any disagreement with the two stroke penalty accessed to Johnson for grounding his club in a "hazard" Sunday. That said, this may be the dumbest "local rule" to which Suttle World has ever been privy. The rule is dumber than the small patches of sand deemed to be hazards. Stewart Cink's take on Twitter: In light of PGA finish, Augusta just announced new seating for patrons available in right greenside bunker by 18 green. Regardless, props to Martin Kaymer on his playoff PGA Championship win.
August 15, 2010
...Every gentle surfer's favorite, Nick Watney, leads the PGA after three rounds of play at Whistling Straits. The weather is expected to cooperate for today's final round, with the leaders teeing off at 2:35 (EDT).
...How slow is it? "(AP) CARTERVILLE,
Ill. A sheriff says reality TV actress Tila Tequila complained that audience
members pelted her with stones and feces during an outdoor music festival in
southern Illinois." Through the magic of the Suttle World time
machine, the gentle surfer can revisit yesterday's festivities in the Land of
Lincoln. "Hey man, what's that in your hand?" "Oh,
that's just feces, man, that I'm hanging onto until the show starts. Then
I'll hurl it at the stage." Seems to Suttle World that the
preparation trumps the pay-off in this whacky scheme. The other
possibility is that these were merely good citizens returning some of MTV's
programming.
..."(AP) OCALA, Fla. A black bear cub in Florida affectionately known as "jarhead" can finally enjoy a good meal. A clear plastic container was removed from the 6-month-old cub's head after being stuck for at least 10 days. The cub poked its head into the jar when digging through trash in a neighborhood in central Florida." This is why bird feeders and such are brought inside of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 each evening.
August 14, 2010
...Great piece yesterday in the Wall Street Journal, in which economist Michael Darda argues against coming deflation (in direct comparison with Japan's "lost decade"), and provides a possible solution to prevent the dreaded double dip recession---a move that actually has limited support on the Democratic side of the aisle. It is highly recommended to the gentle surfer, and may be found here.
...A large portion of the field is stumbling around Whistling Straits at this writing in an attempt to finish the second round of the oft weather interrupted PGA Championship along the banks of lake Mi)higan in lovely Kohler, WI. Matt Kuchar holds a one stroke lead at 8 under for those already "in the club house" after 36 holes. The third round will get underway a some point early this afternoon. Suttle World finds this to be a terrifying golf course.
...Memo to Democrats running scared from the Obama administration and Congressional leadership heading in the November elections: doing such doesn't energize an already not very enthusiastic base. It may well be the best of several bad strategies to choose at this point, but most likely, won't work.
...As is the case with much of the nation, Suttle World is more than ready to enjoy lower thermometer readings in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 through the coming week. This despite, the continuing omnipresent threat of the prototypical isolated thunderstorm. Memo to Mother Nature: stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 is not anywhere near Miami. A number of local golf courses are practically paying people to play, but are finding few takers due to aforementioned threat. A truly odd summer...
..."(AP) WASHINGTON After skirting the controversy for weeks, President Barack Obama is weighing in forcefully on the mosque near ground zero, saying a nation built on religious freedom must allow it." This, as the President and First Family head off for their fifth vacation of the summer? Suttle World has no real issue with either, but is dumbfounded at the PR idiocy being demonstrated. Memo to North Korea: please put the kibosh on that nuke thing for at least a couple more years. Suttle World isn't very confident in the current administration's ability to deal with such things. CC: Iran.
..."(AP) Chicken, turkey and other poultry accounted for 17 percent of the food-borne illness outbreaks reported to the government. Beef and leafy vegetables were close behind, at 16 percent and 14 percent. The report from the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention covers outbreaks in 2007. Poultry was also the No. 1 source of outbreaks in 2006." WRONG!, ptomaine breath declares Suttle World! Human stupidity in food handling is far and away the number one cause of food-borne illnesses. Leafy vegetables don't sprout from the earth with fecal coliforms attached. Suttle World would also contend that Taco Bell is a close second---not necessarily because of unsafe practices, rather due the whole slop in a tortilla menu deal.
...Suttle World sends is belated condolences to Chipper Jones' anterior cruciate ligament. Suttle World admires the "I'll be there for spring training..." attitude, but Suttle World is also confident the 38 year old will have had a change of heart come February. There would seem to be few possibilities, excepting maybe a DH role in the American League.
August 13, 2010
...Suttle World extends its greetings to the triskaidekaphobic gentle surfer, and offers this neat little link from LiveScience.com that enumerates 13 odd happenings in the history of such silliness.
..."(AP) WELLINGTON, New Zealand A crate of Scotch Whisky that was trapped in Antarctic ice for a century was finally opened Friday but the heritage dram won't be tasted by whisky lovers because it's being preserved for its historic significance. The crate, recovered from the Antarctic hut of renowned explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton after it was found there in 2006, has been thawed very slowly in recent weeks at the Canterbury Museum in Christchurch." For Christ's sake, somebody open one of the suckers---they found eleven bottles inside the crate that had never frozen themselves. "This Scotch is unlikely ever to be tasted, but master blenders will examine samples of it to see if they can replicate the brew. The original recipe for the Scotch no longer exists." Huh!?
..."WASHINGTON (AFP) An international team of researchers using computer time lent to them by Google has found every way the popular Rubik's Cube puzzle can be solved, and showed it can always be solved in 20 moves or less. At the crux of the quest has been a bid to determine the lowest number of moves required to get the cube from any given muddled configuration to the color-aligned solution." Suttle World speculates that perhaps there is not a great shortage of home grown math and science folks in the US, as many have suggested, rather that which we do have is being used on really stupid stuff. Sure, the geeks are more than entitled to pursue the magical 20 move Rubik's Cube solution, but now that its figured out, maybe the grey matter can turn to the issue of cold water fusion, a cure for cancer, an auto-mute for Chris Berman, etc...
..."(AP) NEW YORK The renegade flight attendant who cursed out a passenger and emergency-chuted to folk-hero status thanked the world for its support and said he wants to go back to work. Steven Slater's career appeared to end Monday when he went on the public address system after a Jet Blue flight from Pittsburgh, swore at a passenger who he said had treated him rudely, grabbed a beer and exited via an emergency chute. He was later arrested." Suttle World would gladly put up with the hassle of de-boarding a plane after the emergency chute had been deployed to have enjoyed the show. Again, Suttle World reminds the gentle surfer that its slow---mid-August slow.
August 12, 2010
...Suttle World doesn't wish to contradict scripture, but it is of the increasing mind that it is the curious who shall inherit the earth. That said, the meek, curious gentle surfer would seem to be in for a windfall. This concludes today's benediction.
...Props to GM for checking in over $1.3 BILLION in the black for the second quarter of 2010. The gentle surfer is urged to stand near the mail box early and often to await its dividend check (proportional to tax burden, of course). Sources close to Suttle World hint that the First Lady will deliver each check, and a pony, to every taxpayer as a part of Stimulus Plan III.
...Props to David Becker and his team on minions at the University College London for developing what is proving to be a highly successful gel for treating chronic wounds. The trial results have amazed both patients and practitioners of a wide array of disciplines. Almost a decade too late for Suttle World's benefit, but a step forward indeed.
...The PGA, the final major of the golf season (and what should mark the end of the golf season), begins today at Whistling Straits way up in Cheeseland. Though not expected, Suttle World would not at all be shocked if Tiger put another notch in his belt (so to speak) this weekend.
August 11, 2010
...AMF to former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens who shuffled off this mortal coil at a yet to be determined time following a general aviation plane crash Monday afternoon near Dillingham. Ironically, Stevens was one of two survivors in a 1978 plane crash at Anchorage International Airport that killed his wife, Ann, and several others. Suttle World extends its sincere condolences to the families and loved ones of the victims. Stevens' death, and consideration of his tenure, remind Suttle World of a notion long considered but never published. Yes, Stevens was the Republicans answer to Robert Byrd, and lost his seat largely because of the now infamous "bridge no nowhere" spending project for his native Alaska. That said, the Stevens, Byrds, Thurmans, Kennedys, Helms, et al knew where the bodies are buried in Washington. Fast forward to next January, and the swearing in of a bunch of fresh new, mostly GOP, faces---each of whom is clueless about the location of their own office, much less the inner workings of the litany of executive departments and sundry agencies. Suttle World contends that President Regan's infamous "nameless, faceless bureaucrat" is where the rubber truly meets the road in the brave new world of gigantic government (such has been the case for decades, but the point remains salient). Bottom line: the gentle surfer is urged to be careful what is asks and votes for November 2. Yes, it could be worse. The gentle surfer may take consolation in that there are now less than 1,000 days remaining in the administration of Jimmy Carter 2.0.
August 9, 2010
...Sick leave.
August 8, 2010
..."HONG KONG (AFP) A group of Hong Kong filmmakers have started shooting what they claim will be the world's first 3D pornographic film, a report said Sunday." Insert (another) joke here___________________.
..."(AP) WASHINGTON A giant ice island has broken off the Petermann Glacier in northern Greenland. A University of Delaware researcher says the floating ice sheet covers 100 square miles more than four times the size of New York's Manhattan Island." In a news conference yesterday, officials announced their expectations that Disney Atlantic would open in late 2011.
...Time to strap on some gear, get the fantasy cheat sheets printed, and consume countless empty calories---the NFL is back with the ever popular Hall of Fame Game tonight where, South America's team, the Cowboys and Bengals will tangle in lovely Canton, OH. Of course, its much too early, and nobody who is not or should be institutionalized gives a damn about the kickoff for the dreadful four game pre-season (hey---everybody had to put up with six BITD). The backdrop does afford Suttle World an opportunity to opine on the game in general. Suttle World is of the considered opinion that there are simply too many smart folks on both sides of the table for another collective bargaining agreement to be reached without any strike or lock out. Yes, there are some serious issues to be hammered out (see: guaranteed money), but there's simply too many bucks on the table for either side to be too disagreeable. In other too early football discussion, props to Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith who were righteously inducted into the Hall yesterday along with John Randle, Dick LeBeau, Rickey Jackson, Russ Grimm and Floyd Little.
...Props to Tim Hudson who tossed eight full innings of three hit, shutout ball against the Giants last night at Turner Field. Billy Wagner was nearly perfect in the ninth---picking up his 27th save of the year by striking out the side with 10 pitches in the top of the ninth. The win maintains Atlanta's two game lead over Philadelphia thanks to yeoman's work by Johan Santana, who pitched a gem for the Mets in a 1-0 win over the Phillies Saturday evening.
...It should be quite a final round Sunday in Akron at the old skool World Series of Golf (now dubbed the WGC Bridgestone Invitational) played out over the Firestone Country Club---an incredibly daunting track that has always made Suttle World consider felling trees on the course by hand to be preferable to trying to play between them. Sean O'Hair and Ryan Palmer are the leaders after 54 holes.
...Quick note on SOTD, one of several novelty hits in the 30's and 40's by North Carolina born and wed Lulu Belle (Myrtle Eleanor Cooper) and Scotty (Scott Wiseman), including "Does Your Chewing Gum Loose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight." Today's SOTD is also the B side of their biggest hit: "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You"----a tune covered more times than all the potato salad ever served at church picnics.
August 7, 2010
..."(AP) WASHINGTON An online whistle-blower's threat to release more classified Pentagon and State Department documents is raising difficult questions of what the government can or would do, legally, technically or even militarily to stop it. Constrained by the global reach of the Internet, sophisticated encryption software and the domestic legal system, the answer seems to be: Not much." Regardless of the global reach of the internet and sophisticated encryption software, Suttle World finds the state of affairs to be just fine. Yes, leaking classified information is bad, and should be investigated, with the perpetrators prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Any effort at prior restraint is a hell of a lot worse for the Republic in the long haul. Suttle World would also note that the site is pretty damn dull if the gentle surfer is not of a member of the geekhood of "international intrigue." Speaking of the Afghani theater in general: Suttle World is increasingly of the opinion that Sherman and Eisenhower couldn't "win" or meet any objectives in a meaningful fashion in the region. Over 1200 US lives have been sacrificed in Iraq and Afghanistan. No more large, engraved black walls please.
..."(AP) SAN FRANCISCO California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who twice vetoed legislation that would have legalized same-sex marriage, has surprised gay rights supporters [what the hell are gay rights anyway?] by urging a federal judge to allow gay couples to resume marrying in the state without further delay." Suttle World finds this all fine and good, with the caveat that everyone just shut up about the issue that continues to stupefy Suttle World. Actually, that is not true. As is the case with most long wed couples, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World go about a morning ritual to check the status and strength of their own marriage. Both peruse local, national and international sources to determine who has been married in the previous 24 hours. If all couples are of the opposite sex, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World can continue on with the confidence that their marriage is still in tact. If, however, there is a same sex wedding announced, Suttle World and bride of Suttle World immediately head for the "Divorce Lawyer" section of the Yellow Pages.
..."(AP) CHICAGO Lady Gaga has come a long way since her appearance three years ago at the Lollapalooza music festival but she hasn't forgotten some critics' less-than-stellar reviews of that performance." As Suttle World noted in Friday's update, the dog days of "news" are upon us. Yes, Suttle World is distressed that it did not afford itself the opportunity to shlep to Chicago, and spend time with an estimated 75,000 of its warmest, most personal friends (along $215 for entry). There is some consolation to be found in yesterday's edition of the Hendersonville Times-News, however, that reported: "One of Nashville's finest songwriters, Sally Barris, will perform a free evening of music on the back deck behind Little Rainbow Row in Flat Rock Saturday night. Barris will start performing at 6 p.m. Some of the famous recording artists who play Barris's tunes include Kathy Mattea, Martina McBride, Lee Ann Womack and Kelly Pickler." Its a tough call, but Suttle World may actually prefer the free venue that's less than a mile away from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 over Lollapalooza in Chicagoland.
August 6, 2010
...The dog days of summer have settled over Suttle World. How dull is it? Suttle World is glad the gentle surfer asked. Today's update features a "the gentle surfer makes the call." Most have already seen the video, but a link is here that will allow the gentle surfer to view a spectacular catch by Yokohama BayStars right fielder Masato Akamatsu Tuesday night in the Japanese Nippon Professional Baseball League. Some sports pundits are terming it the greatest catch ever. Suttle World is duly impressed, but, unfortunately the ever inept Suttle World staff is unable to locate video of a guy named Bo Jackson, who Suttle World recalls literally climbing a wall to make what Suttle World believes to be an equally incredible play. Instead, the ever inept staff provides a link here to another catch that comes damn close, and affords some "side by side" comparison.
..."(AP) LONDON Women who gain too much weight during pregnancy have big babies, putting their children at risk of becoming heavy later on, a new study says." Suttle World is shocked! Shocked by the study of over half a million American women and over one million of their progeny. Actually, Suttle World is pissed. This was another big time contract missed by the Suttle World Institute for Studying Really Stupid Stuff.
...Yes, the moral of the story is don't screw with Rick Patino---this includes alleged institutions of higher education.
..."LONDON (AFP) A group of Eurotunnel passengers traveling from Britain to France ended up back where they started after the cross-Channel rail operator forgot to unload them, the company said Wednesday. Twenty passengers in seven cars drove onto the train at Folkestone on Saturday expecting to make the short trip across to Calais. But on their arrival in France, Eurotunnel staff neglected to unload their wagon. "We offered a full apology. This sort of thing has never happened in our 16 years of operations, it is deeply embarrassing for us," said a Eurotunnel spokesman." Suttle World believes the apology to be appropriate and sincere. Suttle World is more interested as to why none of the 20 passengers tried to get off the damn train when it first arrived in France. To paraphrase an infamous line from ancient times uttered by cuzin Bill: "get off the train, Mit)h! BBBBBBBB!"
August 5, 2010
...Props to Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan, who was the long shot winner of some whacky courthouse auction in which Ryan ended up owning the perennially struggling American League franchise, the Texas Rangers, yesterday.
..."(AP) A spectacular gathering of three of the brightest planets will be the chief celestial attraction in the evening sky during the next few days. Anyone with a clear and unobstructed view of the west-northwest horizon will be able to Venus, Mars and Saturn in a single glance." This assumes, of course, that the gentle surfer can gaze through the ick that is August to view the celestial event.
...Elena Kagan will be confirmed as a Justice to the Supreme Court today by the Senate. Her relatively youth notwithstanding, its a straight up liberal trade with the retiring Justice Stevens. Suttle World does not see any other member of the court stepping down before President Obama does on January 20, 2013.
..."(AP) CLEVELAND Dread of the unknown hung in the air as Lynn France typed two words into the search box on Facebook: the name of the woman with whom she believed her husband was having an affair. Click. And there it was, the stuff of nightmares for any spouse, cuckolded or not. wedding photos. At Walt Disney World, no less, featuring her husband literally dressed as Prince Charming. His new wife, a pretty blonde, was a glowing Sleeping Beauty, surrounded by footmen" The moral of the story for the gentle surfer is, of course, do not try this at home. Just leave the publishing to the professionals, such as Suttle World. Amateur attempts, like the one described above, often result in serious physical and fiscal injury.
August 3, 2010
...Mitch Miller, one of the biggest movers and shakers in the history of the music business, died Saturday in a New York hospital following a short illness. Mitch was 99. The allmusic.com obit is here, and the gentle surfer is encouraged to peruse several, if not already familiar with the chap that did a hell of a lot more than having millions of Americans tuning in each week to "follow the bouncing ball." The gentle surfer is invited to take in some good old fashioned 1962 TV simply by clicking the Mitch to the right. Props to correspondent cuzin Pops Waring for contributing to this portion of today's update.
..."WASHINGTON (Reuters) Many popular dietary supplements contain ingredients that may cause cancer, heart problems, liver or kidney damage, but U.S. stores sell them anyway and Americans spend millions on them, according to Consumer Reports. The organization pointed to 12 supplement ingredients in particular that it said could be dangerous: aconite, bitter orange, chaparral, colloidal silver, coltsfoot, comfrey, country mallow, germanium, greater celandine, kava, lobelia, and yohimbe." Caveat emptor.
August 2, 2010
..."(Fox News) LOS ANGELES Los Angeles police are searching for two sisters accused of running an illegal cosmetics business that led to the death of a 22-year-old woman. Deputy Chief Kirk Albanese said Wednesday that 53-year-old Guadalupe Viveros and her 50-year-old sister, Alejandra Viveros, did not appear for a court hearing Monday as ordered. The pair were arrested June 21 and booked for practicing medicine without a license. Albanese says one of their customers, Mayra Contreras, died July 24, one day after being injected in the buttocks with silicone by one of the two sisters." The moral of the story is that cosmetic surgical procedures must be covered under the new health deform law. Without same, the horror of back alley Brazilian butt lifts will continue.
...Unqualified props to Stuart Appleby, who
posted a FIFTY-NINE to win the Greenbrier Classic by a single stroke
yesterday in White Sulphur Springs, WV. Almost as remarkable as the low
scoring, was the numerous promos that ran for world renown Greenbrier
Resort that failed to make a single mention of a casino opened on the property
earlier this year.
...Getting the week off to a start is cuzin Matt and another stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes.
August 1, 2010
...Suttle World has said it before, but nothing has been done in over a decade. Pakistan, Afghanistan, Kazakhstan..., and still no discernible efforts known by Suttle World have been made to ferret out Stan. Suttle World says get Stan first, Osama second.
...A rare tidbit on SOTD. First, props to Pops Waring who appropriately corrected the artist listed in Friday's offering. Today, as has been the case on many other occasions, SOTD looks to the Brill Building for a toe tapping tune. Goffin and King wrote Loco-Motion (arguably one of the great chick songs of all time), inspired by their North Carolina born babysitter, Eva Narcissus Boyd (you can't make this stuff up), and a dance she would often do around their apartment. Given "Little" Eva inspired the piece, the couple let her record the demo that Don Kirshner thought was just fine as it was. The song hit #1 on the R&B charts in 1962.
...Taiwan's Yani Tseng refused to give anything back to the Women's Open Championship at Royal Birkdale, posting a tidy 68, to hold onto a four stroke lead headed into this morning's final round. Fred Couples and Bernhard Langer share the lead (and are the only red numbers to be found) at the US Geezer Open. Meanwhile, the week's PGA stop at the Greenbrier has become a laughable affair where Jeff Overton is 18 UNDER after three rounds, and has the lead. Not bad given a 61 and 60 were posted at the pitch and putt yesterday.
...Suttle World greets August, the year's longest month along with February, to another spin around the calendar. This year, Suttle World has less trepidation than usual, as the hot sticky mess that has been the summer of '10 can't get much worse. Though a bit less insufferable than the vast majority of the continental US, stately Roberts/Suttle Manor 2.0 has not escaped the vagaries of the currently brutal season. The DOW finished July up over 7%, and Suttle World has absolutely no idea why.
Dismissed!
WORLD 
