Archives---September, 2008

September 28, 2008    All bailed out and nowhere to go

..."(AP) WASHINGTON (AP) - Congressional leaders and the Bush administration reached a tentative deal early Sunday on a landmark bailout of imperiled financial markets whose collapse could plunge the nation into a deep recession."  Suttle World, along with no other human on planet Earth, has any idea what the "deal" is, how it works, or how much it will eventually cost, but if Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid will sign off it, Suttle World has to believe its good legislation/nationalization.

...What's better than watching 90,000 idiots dressed as Al Jolson getting bitched slapped like baby seals in their own back yard?  Nothing.  #3 Georgia gets off to a slow 31-0 start against 'Bama, and has difficulty righting the ship thereafter.  Carolina did play in the best televised day game, winning on a last play takeaway of the would be winning touchdown against Miami.  Florida opens a can of Old Suck against Ole Miss, and so on the morning of September 28th in a year in which Suttle World has dared suggest the SEC may be the best league in the history of college football, Vanderbilt is the lone leader atop the SEC East

..."(Mail Online)  Astronaut Zhai Zhigang became the first Chinese man to walk in space today, clambering out of China's Shenzhou VII space craft and waving to the camera."  Twenty minutes after ending the historic event, Zhai Zhigang reported being hungry again.

..."(BBC) A Swiss man has become the first person to fly solo across the English Channel using a single jet-propelled wing.  Yves Rossy landed safely after the 22-mile (35.4 km) flight from Calais to Dover, which had been twice postponed this week because of bad weather."  Props to Ricola dude, but it just doesn't quite pass the 21st century gee-whiz test.  Give Suttle World a lead that reads, "...first person to fly solo across the English Channel using a single jet-propelled wing while wrestling a black bear," and then there's a newsworthy item.  And exactly what does the Channel have to do with this?  All things being equal, if Suttle World has to ditch with a lit rocket strapped to its ass, its going to pick the large body of water as opposed to a Scottish sheep pasture or Alp.

...Last day of the MLB regular season, maybe.  New York and Milwaukee are tied for the NL Wild Card spot.  If the Mets and Brewers remain even after Sunday, they would play a one-game tiebreaker Monday in New York.  Milwaukee is scheduled to send ace CC Sabathia to the mound Sunday against the Cubs, while the Mets toss Oliver Perez against the Marlins.  Meanwhile, the AL Central remains up for grabs, courtesy of the White Sox five game choke fest.  The Twins now lead by a half game.  Should Chicago win or the Twins lose, the White Sox will then have to play a rained out game against the Tigers Monday to decide if there will be a one game playoff on Tuesday in the Windy City.  

...There are a lot of big numbers on the NFL betting board for the fourth week of the regular season, and, Gene, the Caucasian, sees nothing of great interest, but will try to bust a losing streak with an unenthusiastic 3 team, six point teaser (net): DEN -3.5 @ KC; WAS +16.5 @ DAL; and JAX -1 v. HOU.  Pays 9:5.

...Props to the Endicott College women's soccer team (6-2-1, 5-0-0) on their fifth straight win yesterday over conference opponent Eastern Nazarene (its never been the same since the "great divide") 2-0 in TCCC action.  Meanwhile, The Citadel mauls Western Carolina in their Southern Conference opener.

...AMF to Paul Newman, who was simply bored to death by Friday night's presidential debate.  He was 83.

September 27, 2008     Boring "debate" sooths anxious nation

..."OXFORD, Miss. (AP) - John McCain accused Barack Obama of compiling "the most liberal voting record in the United States Senate" Friday night as the two rivals clashed over taxes, spending, the war in Iraq and more in an intense first debate of the White House campaign. "Mostly that's just me opposing George Bush's wrong-headed policies," shot back the Democrat."  The previous paragraph is a dramatization of last night's joint press conference that was an unwatchable, crashing bore, with both candidates demonstrating a mastery over the current economic meltdown that would rival that of Burns and Allen.  All Suttle World needed to be reconfirmed was Senator Obama's refusal to admit that lowering marginal tax rates, increases revenues (the object of taxation) in the face of overwhelming evidence to that effect.  

...In an era when each and every citizen receives any of several personal bailouts from the federal government, Suttle World sees little reason to further explore the phenomenon of gasoline prices and availability around the southeastern U.S.  The concepts of supply, demand, regulation, idiotic "gouging" laws and the like simply don't matter if the federal government is going to pay for the gentle surfer's next fill up.  For the late rising gentle surfer, the Federal Reserve bought every gas station in the country overnight, and is now selling regular unleaded for 69¢/gallon.  Suttle World does find a fair amount of amusement in folks who chose to live 30+ miles from the city's center, cruising as many miles to find gasoline in their really spiffy SUVs.  The mental image of area interstates littered with stalled custom vans and pick up trucks sporting UGa and Alabama flags is hysterical.

...Suttle World has listened intently all week to really smart people (some with honest to God MBAs) pontificate on state of the US financial sector.  The consensus seems to be that the current economy is a house of cards ready to crumble, and all agree that the best fix is to get a brand new deck of cards---the really cool, expensive ones with pictures of naked ladies on the face.  Also noteworthy, is that none of the denizens of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor are at all pleased with having taken control of RBC in the recent bank lottery.  Scores of overly dressed dolts currently bump into each other roaming the east wing of the Manor.  Suttle World does toss in a hapless customer from time to time so those that remain will have something to eat until they too can be laid off.  A final note on the whacky week on Wall Street:  at this writing there are still three grocery stores within two miles of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, and each still has an entire aisle devoted to pet food.

..."(AJC) Tucker coach Franklin Stephens saw no need to chew out the No. 1-ranked Tigers after the stunning 34-0 loss to No. 8 Marist on Friday."  Instead the coach tossed a Molotov cocktail into the locker room, and then barred the doors.  Tucker officials say the incident was well timed, as the school has a bye next weekend, allowing almost two full weeks to field another squad.

...The incredible collapsing Mets are dormied in their effort to repeat last season's disaster.  Meanwhile, props to the Rays who clinched their first ever pennant (AL East) last night.

...Per usual:  today's marquee NCAA matchup has a 7:45 start up the road in Athens as #3 Georgia hosts #8 Alabama.  3-0 Carolina at Miami may provide the best day time tube watching event, beginning at noon.  Gene, the Caucasian, sees nothing on today's board that entices it to violate the mantra of not wagering on 19 year olds.  Meanwhile, the Endicott College women's soccer team (4-0-0, 5-2-1), the winner of four straight, hit the road to take on Wentworth this evening in Boston in TCCC action.  Eleven hundred miles down the coast, #13 The Citadel (0-0, 2-1), and starting center, neighbor Clay, hosts Southern Conference rival Western Carolina.  Kick off is at 1:00.

...AMF Bill Heard Chevrolet...the epitome of the evil car dealership business model.

September 26, 2008    Down goes USC!

...And what better prelude to the last trading day of the most interesting week on Wall Street in 80 years, than #1 USC being upset by Oregon State last night 27-21?

...At this writing the White House and Congressional leadership remains at loggerheads on the best manner to nationalize the US economy, but as long as Barney Frank has a big say so in the matter, Suttle World is confident things will work out just fine.

...Battles with the most virulent upper respiratory infection continue---an aggravating state of affairs that should have come to a close several days ago.  Recovery is imminent, just much slower than Suttle World would prefer.

..."(AJC)  KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Tennessee basketball coach Pat Summitt had offseason shoulder surgery, not for a sports injury but because of a tussle with a raccoon.  The winningest basketball coach in NCAA history had problems with her right shoulder after dislocating it while chasing a raccoon poised to attack her Labrador. The attack came near her home on March 5, just days before the Southeastern Conference tournament.  A month later, Summitt guided the Lady Vols to their eighth NCAA title.  Summitt had arthroscopic surgery Thursday in Knoxville, Tenn., to repair recurring instability problems.  The coach will begin rehab in about a week. Tennessee begins practice on Oct. 17."  Suttle World is thankful that coach Summitt is enjoying a full recovery, but even more thankful that the assaulting animal in question was not a beaver.

...#1 ranked Tucker takes on arch rival Marist this evening in a game that will be televised locally on ATL cable.  The remainder of the ATL weekend TV sports lineup is here for the clicking.

September 25, 2008    Feds debate best way to put gasoline on fire

..."(AP) WASHINGTON - President Bush is bringing presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain into negotiations on a $700 billion rescue of Wall Street as Democrats and Republicans near agreement on a bailout plan with more protections for taxpayers and new help for distressed homeowners."  This is great spectator sport be it from the galleries of Congress or the NYSE.  McCain throws a brilliant left jab in the form of shutting down his campaign, returning to Washington (its the city with the big dome just south of Baltimore, you can't miss it), and beginning the hard work of rescuing the US economy.  Obama counters with an equally brilliant right hook in declaring that both can be managed simultaneously, and that juggling more than one crisis situation at a time to be the nature of the presidency.  Meanwhile, the federal government is putting the finishing touches on fully nationalizing the economy.  Suttle World is a bit disappointed to have received such a low draft pick, but believes it was used well in taking RBC in the financial institution sell off yesterday.  Negotiators for Suttle World have been working late into the night to make a deal for RBC---trading the bank for Reading Railroad and a mortgaged Marvin Gardens.  Suttle World will also look back through the last 6-8 months of archives to find its own declaration that "mortgage crisis" was a function of nobody knowing who owed what to whom.  Turns out its only gonna cost a $1 TRILLION to find out.  Suttle World's take on the bail out package will emerge as the devilish details are unveiled.

..."(AP) PHILADELPHIA - Nobody knew just what to make of three items heavily wrapped in white packaging and duct tape outside the Philadelphia Phillies' ballpark.  So, a few hours before Wednesday night's game, someone called the police as a precaution.  The bomb squad showed up to detonate the three packages. Turns out they contained hot dogs.  The wrapping that made them so suspicious was so the team mascot, the Phillie Phanatic, could fire them from a hot-dog launcher.  The franks has been left behind inadvertently after a commercial photo shoot for the hot-dog maker."  Suttle World is damn tired of celebrity sausages, and the disruption they bring upon the American public.  Who do these hot dogs think they are---lounging around after a photo-shoot.  Get a real job.  America needs more rebar.

..."(AP) LOS ANGELES - Ed McMahon has an unexpected new job title: rapper.  The 85-year-old former "Tonight Show" sidekick will star in two viral rap videos for FreeCreditReport.com, a financial Web site owned by credit bureau Experian. The videos feature McMahon wearing a tracksuit, being chauffeured around Los Angeles in a golf cart and waxing lyrical about his very public financial troubles.  The videos will appear online in October."  Viral indeed, as in gastrointestinal virus like.

..."(AP) NEW YORK - With another brutal loss, the New York Mets kept tumbling toward another September collapse. Derrek Lee blooped a go-ahead double in the 10th inning off Luis Ayala, Aramis Ramirez followed with a two-run homer and the Chicago Cubs rallied from a four-run deficit to defeat the Mets 9-6 Wednesday night.  New York, which wasted Carlos Delgado's third-inning grand slam off Carlos Zambrano and a 5-1 lead, dropped into a tie with Milwaukee for the NL wild-card lead and remained 1 1/2 games behind NL East-leading Philadelphia. The Mets, who have four games remaining, failed to win after taking a four-run lead for the eighth time this season, according to the Elias Sports Bureau."  Last year wasn't a collapse, it was a holocaust.  Happen again and Queens will suck enough to officially be declared a black hole.

September 24, 2008    The ick continues

...The contagion has yet to subside, but Suttle World presses onward in its infirmed state...

..."NEW YORK (AP) -- Financial markets showed some signs of stabilizing Wednesday as investor Warren Buffett's $5 billion bet on Goldman Sachs Group Inc. renewed confidence that U.S. financial firms will survive the credit crisis. Stock futures pointed to a higher opening, although the credit markets, waiting for further news on the government's bank rescue package, were still restrained."  To the degree that he brings some stability to the markets, Suttle World is all for Buffet buying big time, but casting him as a "savior' (the operative word in many of today's headlines) may be a bit premature.  The gentle surfer is reminded that Berkshire Hathaway has underperformed the market over the past decade, and this is the guy who wants higher marginal tax rates, and a return to the Draconian death tax.  Buffet may be able to choose well among various widget makers, but his worldview, and its potential influence on the markets, may not be for what Wall Street is looking.

..."(Times Online) Corporate India is in shock after a mob of workers bludgeoned to death the chief executive who sacked them from a factory in a suburb of Delhi."  Suttle World abhors such violence, but bets the mob killed the guy in the most polite manner possible.  "I'm so very sorry to have to kill you.  Would you like to try a Slurpie before you die?"

...A consensus would seem to be forming with regard to at lead two-thirds of the upcoming fourth annual POFGC.  The first two rounds, Sun 10/5 and Mon 10/6 will be played at Charlie Yates and The Hooch, respectively.  The jury remains out on the track for the final round, but has been narrowed to North Fulton and Mystery Valley.  This year's defending champion, Moke, has decided on the Varsity as the site of his Champion's Dinner.  Consequently, the committee has removed Imodium from the list of performance enhancing drugs for which invitees will be tested. 

September 21, 2008

...Continuing with an affliction of both the upper and lower respiratory tracts, Suttle World mails it in once again, save for yet another unenthusiastic pro pick for Gene, the Caucasian.  Reconstruction of the self destructing home page is underway.

September 20, 2008    Life after Ike

...It is both with great pride and relief that Suttle World turns today's full update to the most recent check-in from cuzin Matt who ruminates about life after the ravages of Ike.  Conditions for the Bruners are much more taxing than any complaints Suttle World can muster this morning, where both upper and lower respiratory distress is the order of the day.  Bottom line:  Suttle World takes Saturday off, and Matt does all the heavy lifting with another of Bruner's Texas Takes.

September 19, 2008    Feds fix markets, tidy sock drawers, improve oral hygiene 

...Overnight, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced that beginning Monday, the federal government would set the closing price of each of the 2,764 companies listed on the New York Stock Exchange, and that work was underway to take similar steps regarding companies listed on  NASDAQ.   The newest bold move on the part of the Fed to eliminate all uncertainty and risk from worldwide capital markets, follows a week in which the United States has nationalized half the economy.  Meanwhile, The Securities and Exchange Commission took the dramatic step early Friday of temporarily banning the routine practice of betting against company stocks.  Honest to God---they've banned selling short.  The logical extension will be an order from the SEC today that will compel every American to buy 500 shares of a stock picked at random to bolster the volatile equity markets.  Adam Smith would be proud, but even Suttle World reluctantly admits that AIG is too big to fail.  How's that jug eared kid on the TV spots gonna get work?

...It has been noted by many that this week's Monday Night Football game between the Cowboys and Eagles was the most watched cable event in history.  What has not been mentioned is that number was achieved with the fifth largest media market in the country (Houston) without electricity!  Put that in you Nielson box and smoke it.

...Idle Friday morning thought (the product of an idle mind):  the most prominent heavyweight fighters of the last two decades, Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, have never defeated an opponent Joe Frazier couldn't have taken down in less than two rounds.  Neither ever beat anybody of note.  Never!

..."(AJC) Gospel Today, the Fayetteville-published magazine, was pulled off the racks by [the more than 100 Lifeway Christian] bookstores’ owner, the Southern Baptist Convention. The problem? The five smiling women on the cover are women of the cloth — church pastors."  Suttle World admires the resolve of the Southern Baptist Convention---an organization run by men that fully understands that a bunch of ditzy broads is incapable of spreading a message of love and peace.  WWJD?  Suttle World's guess: enjoying a knee slapping guffaw with Dad.

...Dirk Bremen, Suttle World Sports Information Director, in a press briefing yesterday, seemed to be delivering a cryptic message.  Bremen read from a short prepared statement that said:  "Right here in Divot City, we've got a player with a new grip.  Grip.  That starts with "G" and that rhymes with "T" and that stands for TROUBLE for POFGC invitees in an appropriately handicapped event."  Bremen also went on record in stating that Suttle World has not completed an 18 hole round of golf since the final round of the 2007 event.  Contacted later by telepathy, Suttle World said, "Dirk is off his meds."

...Suttle World is finally on schedule football wise, having made a mess on reporting on The Citadel so far this season.  Long story short, the Bulldogs host Princeton tomorrow in Charleston, as opposed to previous erroneous references that showed an inability of the ever inept Suttle World staff to read a calendar.   Obviously, tomorrow's marquee match up is LSU at Auburn.  The Tigers/War Eagles/Plainsmen/Mit)hes (pick a damn name!) are three point underdogs at home in a series in which the home team has won the last eight straight.  The Suttle World mantra stands (excepting last week's lock of USC hammering Ohio State) regarding not wagering on 19 year olds, but if one has to wander to the window, those three points look mighty attractive.  The remainder of the ATL weekend TV sports schedule, including the Ryder Cup, is here for the clicking.

"(AP) GENEVA - The World Health Organization halved its estimate of the number of people who get malaria each year, saying Thursday that better measurement techniques had cut the number from 500 million people to 247 million."  Mix in a little DDT, and the number could be reduced another 200 million.  Rachel Carson remains the all time champion mass murderer in human history, but the numbers don't look quite as bad as first thought.  The gentle surfer is reminded that half of all homo sapiens who have come and left this mortal coil died of malaria.

September 18, 2008       US to bail out world economy

..."(AP) HONG KONG - Asia stocks tumbled further Thursday, tracking declines Wall Street as investors feared more companies could succumb to the financial crisis that forced the U.S. government to bail out insurer American International Group Inc."  In an effort to calm global markets, US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced this morning that the United States government would stand behind every investment, derivative, futures contract and passbook savings account on the planet.  "No one will ever lose a single worthless penny on anything," a breathless Paulson announced.  "After consulting with top economic advisors, we've decided to simply print a lot more money."  Reports from Washington indicate the Treasury has been running the presses at break neck speed, in some cases running out of paper.  Paulson addressed the issue saying,  "yes, those twenty dollar bills printed on the inside of a Frito bags may look strange, but they're as good as gold, so to speak."  Federal officials continued meeting through the night, and sources close to Suttle World say a news conference will be held later this morning by both Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Bernanke that will unveil yet another bail out program that will ensure every American to live until at least the age of 85, disease free and without annoying painful rectal itch. 

...The Endicott College women's soccer team (3-2-1, 2-0-0) collected their second straight conference win yesterday with a 2-0 drubbing of Roger Williams University on the Gulls home pitch in Beverly, MA.

...Cuzin Matt reports in from hurricane ravaged Coldspring, TX.  Over a hundred miles inland from Ike's strike, correspondent Bruner advises:  "We are still without
power, but I have heard that the repair people did a test run yesterday, but there was still too much load (short somewhere).  We are using a borrowed generator for power for our house, and we use it for about 6 hours a day.  Internet began working a few hours ago.  No AC (not really needed), no hot water, no garage door opener, etc.  Kelly waited in line for 2.5 hours Monday for gas for the generator in Livingston (15 miles away).  Yesterday, the wait was 30 minutes.  Today, we have gas in Coldspring with a probably 20 minute wait.  No fresh food yet, but it is on the way.  The National Guard and FEMA are distributing drinking water, ice, and MREs here in town.  We have been taking food to Crystal's, she cooks it and gives it back to us.  Tuesday we took salsa, and got breakfast burritos.  Today we took
potatoes and got chicken sandwiches.  I sang last Sunday night without PA and with a battery-powered flashlight on my head.  Crystal still has no power, other than our tiny generator on loan, which will keep one fridge at a time cool.  She is cooking mostly with a huge gas grill.  In our neighborhood, a couple of houses had minor roof damage, we had none.  Lost of trees and branches down.  Most of it is cleaned-up already - people here jump in and get it done!  A lot of the coast is screwed.  A friend has two poles remaining from his house on the coast, and a second house was damaged - he was scheduled to close on the sale this week.  A lot of people don't know what their homes look like, and may not see them for a while. We have water and food and are actually having a pretty good time.  This is a lot like camping.  Of course, we didn't lose a house, a friend, family, etc..."

...On the brighter side..."(AJC) A carjacking suspect was shot and killed by a DeKalb County police officer early Thursday along I-85 in northeast Atlanta, police said."

September 17, 2008    See Nancy "write."  See Nancy's book bomb 

...(The Hill) - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, when asked Tuesday whether Democrats bear some of the responsibility regarding the current crisis on Wall Street, had a one-word answer: “No.  John McCain said that this is a result of overregulation by the Democrats in Congress,” she added. “Either he doesn’t know what he's talking about or he’s misrepresenting the facts as he knows them. But it’s simply not true.”"  The gentle surfer is urged to listen to the Speaker.  Such rare insight is the product of the same mind that produced her 2008 title Know Your Power: A Message to America's Daughters---now #42,095 on the Amazon.com bestseller list.  Nancy Pelosi, destined to hold her title as the undefeated, champion light weight Speaker of Suttle World's lifetime.  The logical extension, of course, being that oil prices currently being at their lowest levels in 2008 and yesterday's 140 point gain in the DOW (and those to be realized today) are solely Republican successes.

...Galveston Island and nearby Houston are simply a wreck, and expected to remain without power, water and other basic necessitates for the foreseeable future.  It will be a very long time until things return to anywhere near normal/pre-Ike.  Poor timing in the midst of a disaster, but Suttle World must ask the question that others won't---why does the American taxpayer have to pick up the tab for folks who live where God did not intend?  Sure, the Texas Gulf Coast is a vital part of the US economy---chiefly because of the energy industry.  Such efforts require a local workforce.  Let employers subsidize flood insurance, and others simply take their chances.  Its the same mantra as yesterday's health insurance diatribe.  Insurance exists to protect against an unexpected catastrophic loss.  Incredibly destructive hurricanes are not unexcited events, and if the private sector won't write flood policies...

...The Braves season is not a total loss, they can be king makers/pennant winners.  "(AP) ATLANTA - Ryan Howard rallied the Philadelphia Phillies back into first place, hitting a go-ahead homer in the eighth inning for his fourth hit in an 8-7 victory over the Atlanta Braves on Tuesday night.  Brad Lidge escaped a bases-loaded jam in the ninth and Philadelphia moved a half-game in front of the fading New York Mets, who lost 1-0 at Washington.  After trailing the Mets by 3 1/2 games going into last Thursday, Philadelphia leads the division for the first time since Aug. 26."  Props to the Mets for choking away the NL East lead early and avoiding the rush of the season's final week.  Turns out Willie Randolph wasn't the problem, September is.  Suttle World is scheduled to take in its first Braves game this Friday---actually the first in the past couple seasons, and get an up close and personal look at the Metropolitans---the ballclub with the really tight jersey collars.  

...The Ryder Cup is set to start tomorrow in Louisville, and Paul Azinger is still an idiot!  Leaving Rocco Mediate off the team is the final straw for Suttle World, after the squad with matching panties was too scared to fly to the UK for the 2001 event.  Suttle World hastens to point out that terrorism never has nor never will interrupt the Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic that is set this year for the ATL October 5-7.

September 16, 2008    Wall Street boogie

...And now for a few words of reflection from the dean of the Suttle World School of Economics, Dr. Dirk Bremen.  Unfortunately, Dr. Bremen is currently being interviewed by Homeland Security investigators, so the gentle surfer will simply have to rely on Suttle World itself as it looks over its shoulder at the carnage that was yesterday's trading session.

• The Dow Jones industrial average lost more than 500 points, more than 4 percent, its steepest point drop since the day the stock market reopened after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.  To the investor, yesterday's tumble is of little consequence, excepting to afford some tremendous buying opportunities today.  To the non-investor that tried to get out of the market yesterday, Suttle World recommends pari-mutuel wagering.  Generally speaking, its more fun, and the percentage of bettors that make a significant profit is roughly the same percentage of players as those who are successful in timing the market.  The downside, is that while boring, the strategy of dollar cost averaging is a sure thing in the 20+ year long race, unlike the track where even Secretariat can break down in a six furlong race against $5,000 claimers.

• Neil Cavuto has become the smartest guy on television.  A portion of his essay yesterday is published below, and should be memorized by each and every gentle surfer.  "...The pressure building so much, so fast, and pushed by so many to do something, anything, to prevent this financial upheaval we're going through.  We have to re-regulate, re-do, just re-everything. All I'm saying is re-think this, everyone. Sometimes, sometimes the cure can be worse than the disease... the medicine for the meltdown worse than the meltdown.  The medicine isn't a one-shot deal. It sticks around. Stays around. And offers a whole bureaucracy to keep it around. Kind of like the New Deal in the 1930s, it became the defacto deal long after the '30s, right through today. Or like the Resolution Trust Corporation, meant to temporarily shore up ailing savings and loans two decades ago, still a thriving bureaucracy two decades letter. You see, that's the problem with government help. It keeps helping. And ruling. And regulating. And strong-arming, and second guessing. The folks who have no business policing anyone's books put in charge, in perpetuity, everyone's books. It's about to happen again. To some folks who might have it coming. But my point is some folks who might have it coming now."

• Those who insist on doing something may also want to consider a Constitutional amendment regarding the qualifications for President that are now limited to being at least 35 years of age and a natural born citizen.  Replace the "natural born" citizen with "having made a payroll."  This would certainly disqualify Suttle World, for it has never signed pay checks, excepting for deposit into its own coffers.  Alas, amending the Constitution for any reason is an onerous task, especially compared to the simplicity of raising taxes on the payroll/job makers.

• The Fair Tax solves each and every concern of all citizens, except those rightly obsessed with the size of government.  Every corporate entity in the world would want to be based in a western country that had no corporate income tax.  Jobs have not been exported so much for the cheap labor of foreign lands, but for the much preferable tax status.  Lower wages are offset by lower productivity.  Lower taxes simply result in a greater return on investment that just happens to be the object of that crazy little game called business.

• Suttle World's take on the spike in gas prices last weekend is inadvertently amplified by Hendersonville (NC) Times-News reporter Jessica Goodman in an article published Sunday recapping that region's struggle with the pump.  Panic buying created the spike.  New shipments of petrol will bring prices back to pre Ike levels in the next week.  The last thing the local Quickie Mart, where the gentle surfer buys gasoline, wants is to run out of gas, and its not because there's much money to be made in selling gasoline.  A retailer may make a 5¢ on a $4 gallon of gas, but has a $10/gallon profit on coffee and various other beverages bought only when folks stop in to buy gasoline!  Suttle World extends its sympathies to the gentle surfer anguished by Adam Smith always being right, but it now has some appreciation of Suttle World's angst at those who refuse to acknowledge that Smith is always right.

..."(AP) WASHINGTON - John McCain's health plan won't lower the ranks of the uninsured. Barack Obama's fails to curb the soaring cost of health care, meaning initial gains in helping more people buy health insurance would eventually be undermined.  That's the assessment of health care economists who critiqued the plans of the two presidential candidates."  Suttle World has not scrutinized the findings, but suspects the conclusions to be pretty close to accurate.  Or maybe not, because the AP story also states a finding from the group was:  "[a]nother concern is that insurers would gravitate to states with less onerous coverage requirements. For example, 29 states insist insurers in the individual and small group market cover cervical cancer screenings. They could locate in states without such requirements."  Therein lies a huge portion of what degree of health care problem that exists in the US---the wringing of hands over paying for Pap smears and the like.  Auto insurance doesn't pay for oil changes and tire rotation.  Health insurance shouldn't pay for routine screening, but is required to do so by regulators.  The gentle surfer screaming about the cost of such screenings is silenced by the numerous signage along the American roadway as competent practitioners compete to change the gentle surfer's oil.  Medically competent versions of Jiffy Lube would begin to dot the roadside as well if the gentle surfer merely had to shop for a little lab work, chest x-ray and digital exam.  Just another little crazy trip down Market Economy Street.

...Wild, whacky Monday Night Football.  The Cowboys prevail over Philly 41-37 in a game Suttle World simply couldn't make it through.  Two weeks of the NFL season under the belt, and there are a lot more questions than answers.  In the fantasy football world, Suttle World climbs to 2-0 with its marquee franchise, four time league winner Team Elvis, while the practice/experimental squad falls to 0-2.  Other football takes:  Georgia drops a notch to #3 which is all fine and good, excepting Mark Richt's statement that "we have no control over it."  Relying on a late turnover by South Carolina to win last weekend is something over which Georgia has control, and the mediocre outing is largely the reason for their fall.  Suttle World will cease and desist from beating Ohio State about the head and shoulders now that it has quite rightly fallen from the top 10.  3-0 Tucker High School remains ranked #1 in the Georgia AAAA poll. "INDIANAPOLIS (AP)—The Hanover-Butler football game scheduled for Saturday has been canceled because of the severe storm that left the Hanover area without power and water."  Both ticket holders will be contacted by phone regarding refunds.

..."(AP) DAMASCUS, Syria - Scientists have unearthed a camel bone in the Syrian desert that they think may be a previously unknown tiny species of the animal and say dates back a million years."  And Suttle World thought the disclaimer said to seek emergency medical attention if it persisted just over just four hours...Ship of the desert and then some.

September 15, 2008    Just another manic market Monday

..."HONG KONG (Reuters) - Stocks and the U.S. dollar fell sharply on Monday after Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy protection, sending safe-haven Treasury debt and gold prices soaring as the financial system bent under severe pressure.  U.S. stock market futures were down around 3 percent, pointing to sharply lower open, while major European markets were set for falls of between 3.5 to 4 percent.  Rapid-fire developments on Wall Street, only a week after the U.S. government bailed out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, left some analysts literally speechless and sent shockwaves through almost every asset class. The dollar plunged 1.9 percent against the yen, on track for its biggest decline since February 2007, as investors' willingness to take risks evaporated."  At this very early writing, DOW futures are down over 300 points some four hours before the opening bell.  This makes perfect sense to Suttle World as investors sell out of equity markets, and put their cash into failing banking institutions.  Brilliant!  Lehman is toast, and, at present, no bailout is in sight.  Bank of America is scraping together spare change to buy Merrill, and AIG continues to languish in a desperate search for cash.  Today, a worldwide financial meltdown will be witnessed.  By closing Friday, the markets will have made back most of its losses.  There's no shortage of capital and its gotta go somewhere.

...The first  Gene, the Caucasian Pigskin Pick fails for the 2008 season---failing only because Suttle World was given a 1972 American Olympic Basketball team hosing at the hands of instant replay.  Mr. Referee took his roll of quarters, and went in the little booth not once, but TWICE to overrule two Indy touchdowns on the same drive TO TAKE POINTS OFF THE BOARD---points that made the difference in not covering the teaser assisted over of 37.5.  Alas, the gentle wagerer is still  up $17 up on $30 worth of bets---now only about 6 times the profit margin of EVIL Exxon/Mobil.  The NFL, following two weeks of regular season play, looks much like the markets and the assessment of Ike's damage:  nobody seems to have a real good feel as to what the hell is going on.  The gentle surfer can take solace in some of life's certainties:  death, taxes and the Falcons being beaten badly when traveling to Tampa Bay.

...Carlos Zambrano pitched the first no-hitter for the Chicago Cubs in 36 years, returning from a sore rotator cuff to shut down the Houston Astros 5-0 Sunday night in a game relocated because of Hurricane Ike.  Yet another sign that the end is near.

..."(AP) RICHMOND, Va. - The Virginia Supreme Court declared the state's anti-spam law unconstitutional Friday and reversed the conviction of a man once considered one of the world's most prolific spammers.  The court unanimously agreed with Jeremy Jaynes' argument that the law violates the free-speech protections of the First Amendment because it does not just restrict commercial e-mails — it restricts other unsolicited messages as well. Most other states also have anti-spam laws, and there is a federal CAN-SPAM Act as well, but those laws apply only to commercial e-mail pitches.  The Virginia law "is unconstitutionally overbroad on its face because it prohibits the anonymous transmission of all unsolicited bulk e-mails, including those containing political, religious or other speech protected by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution," Justice G. Steven Agee wrote."  The court is right on the money.  Free speech trumps the gentle surfer having to hit the delete button seven days a week, and twice on Sundays.  

...Can't a man just make a living?  "BERLIN (Reuters) - Police closed down a Berlin sweet shop after discovering the owner was selling chocolates and lollipops laced with hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana.  Police said one customer, who appeared intoxicated, was arrested after trying to buy a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms from an officer in the shop."

...Big news in Suttle World.  The SOTD Archive has finally been completed, or at least the tedious data entry involved in transcribing nearly 1,500 entries from individually saved .jpg files onto a spread sheet.  Still left is a proofreading, and formatting in a manner that Suttle World prefers.  By recollection, Count Basie is the oldest entry from 1924, and there were more inadvertent duplications than expected.  Still, it makes for one hell of a playlist that will be unveiled in the coming days.

September 14, 2008    EXTRA! Waring Scores in Endicott Rout of Regis! (Box score) - Freshman Kaitlin Waring notched the first goal and point of her collegiate career in the thirty-second minute of play, netting the Gulls 7th of an eventual 8 goals scored in a 8-1 drubbing of Regis College on the road Saturday.

Ike's damage TBD 

...Much as Suttle World suspected, a full day of coverage of the aftermath of Ike's landfall early Saturday morning, and nobody (media, government and private relief agencies) have any clue as to what type of damage was done to what and where.  Calmer conditions today should finally allow for extensive fly over viewing of the devastation.  At least two deaths have been attributed to the weather, and it is known that the storm surge was much less than had been anticipated---probably limiting the abject destruction of Galveston Island, and the vital pipeline infrastructure.

...While the full effects of Ike remain an unknown, the event has proved H. L. Mencken correct once again in his genius observation that "nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."  Such is the case with gasoline prices that have skyrocketed to between $6-8/gallon in some areas over the past 48 hours.  Show Suttle World an area where prices have reached such levels, and Suttle World will show the gentle surfer an area that has experienced panic buying over the past several days.  Show Suttle World someone complaining about "being had, ripped off, man" etc..., and Suttle World will show the gentle surfer yet another Mit)h who doesn't understand fundamental macro economic principles of supply and demand.  Again, Suttle World poses the question:  would the gentle surfer prefer a sign that read "$6.50/gallon" or one that read "NO GAS!?"  Very high prices limits consumption that limits shortages.  From President Bush to political pundits, the Kool-Aid is either being consumed or dispensed as the chants of "outrageous gouging" fill the air with the stench of ignorance.  Suttle World reminds the gentle surfer that gouging is defined as one paying more than one wishes to pay for any given good or service; and that "anti-gouging" laws will ensure that many goods and services can be certain not to be available at any price in areas that are the most desperate!  FEMA and all that good stuff is fine if necessary, but Suttle World implores the powers to be to let the market work, be it over the objections of the great unwashed or not!

...Oh what a night!  Suttle World relished in Pete Carroll leading his USC Trojans in the now all too familiar refrain of the "Buckeye Bitch Slap" last night in SoCal.  Shout out to Ohio State fans who can now be making their holiday plans to include a trip to see their ballclub be beaten like a baby seal in the Gator Bowl this year---as opposed to being a pretender in an alleged national "championship" game in which they don't belong.  Good school, overrated football program, now go away. The game makes Gene, the Caucasian, look pretty damn smart as well, with the Pigskin Picker cashing his second ticket in as many wagers (marking a 235% return on investment to date/2 weeks that projects out to an annual return of 6110%, or over 500 times that of EVIL Exxon/Mobil) on the young football season.  Spotting 11.5 points was a lock, and Suttle World regrets being too cash poor to literally capitalize on the game.

...Speaking of college football...First, the Atlantic Coast Conference is more than welcome.  Obviously Suttle World's calling the league out served as bulletin board material in each and every locker room, and it worked.  Carolina whoops Rutgers on the road.  Maryland beats a ranked Cal team.  Duke is 2-1!  Far from world beaters, and with only one ranked team (Wake), at least things appear to be turning the corner of Awful and Hideous onto Mediocre Boulevard for the time being.  Suttle World has been happy to help.  Second, a belated shout out to the Pirates of East Carolina who pierced the polls for the first time last week at #14 (with a bullet) following a win over their third straight ranked opponent.  Yesterday the Pirates survived a scare against Tulane, but its breaks of such a type that are the part of being the Boise State of the year team.  #2 Georgia gets a big break in Columbia against South Carolina, as the Gamecocks go Earnest Byner.  This is also an example of the kind of break a team in the hunt for a national championship that doesn't exist requires, but one the Dawg nation may have wanted to keep in their pocket to use against a team like Florida, Auburn, Alabama, or LSU.

...Meanwhile, back at the betting cage, Gene, the Caucasian, will ride its wave of success with a not terribly enthusiastic three team, six point teaser of (net) IND @ MIN over 37.5; TB +13 v. ATL; ATL @ TB over 31.5.  Pays 9:5.

..."(AFP) The computer chip industry on Friday celebrated the 50th birthday of the integrated circuit, a breakthrough that set the stage for the Internet and the Digital Age."  Al Gore was on hand to accept accolades from the assemblage of geeks, giving each in attendance an autographed copy of Love Story.  The fact that a half-century ago a young engineer named Jack Kilby first demonstrated an integrated circuit he designed while working through the summer at his Texas Instruments job because he didn't have enough vacation time for a holiday is of no consequence in Al Gore's Roger Mooresque world where the sky is an undetermined color due to the outrageous amount of CO2 in the atmosphere.

...A reminder to the gentle surfer like Suttle World,  whose Sunday morning's regular media diet includes "The Sports Reporters" on ESPN---the show now airs originally at 9:30 am, and will continue to do so through the NFL season.  The move began last week, and Suttle World makes mention as a memo to self following two decades of training for a 10:00 start.

...Fifty one shopping days remain for the young, fast, and scientific vote buying politicos of the 21st century until the November election.

September 13, 2008    EXTRA! Bruner's Ike Update 
        55 minutes ago (10:15 am EDT) 
Coldspring, TX - Hurricane Ike's first blow brought near over 60 MPH sustained winds and torrential rains upon the Bruner estate of Matt and Kelly overnight in Coldspring, TX, over 100 miles from the storm's landfall, according to Correspondent Matt.  "I saw what had to be 7 to 8 foot waves on the lake at the height of the wind," said Bruner in a rare telephone interview with Suttle World earlier this morning.  During the report, electrical service was said have been out for some time, but being on the "Co-op" (as opposed to the mega, monopoly utility side) side of the road seems to make for much faster repair according to cuzin Matt who spoke as he believed that the eye of the now tropical storm neared.

...More news as it happens.    Before anybody complains about gas prices, please answer the following:  would you rather the sign read "$6.00/gallon" or "NO GAS?"  Now back to your regular programming.

Wait for daylight and see, maybe

...This cleared the AP wire at 6:00 am (EDT).  Sunrise is 7:00 local time (8:00 EDT)..."(AP) GALVESTON, Texas - A massive Hurricane Ike ravaged southeast Texas early Saturday, battering the coast with driving rain and ferocious wind gusts as residents who decided too late they should have heeded calls to evacuate made futile calls for rescue...The eye of the storm powered ashore at 3:10 a.m. EDT at Galveston with 110 mph winds, just shy of a Category 3 storm. Because Ike was so huge — nearly as big as Texas itself — hurricane winds pounded the coast for hours before landfall and would continue through much of the morning, forecasters said.  More than 1.3 million customers — or 2.9 million people — had lost power, and suppliers warned it could be weeks before all the service was restored. There also was fear winds could shatter the windows of Houston's sparkling skyscrapers that define the skyline of America's fourth-largest city. Forecasters said the worst winds and rain would come after the center came ashore." (Complete story/click through to link to latest AP story here).  It will take daylight to begin to understand the scope of Ike's destruction, and even then difficult as the area continues to be hammered by hurricane force wind and torrential rain.  Aerial views may not be possible today, or at least much later.

... A Suttle World drive through northern metro ATL last night revealed gas prices ranging from $3.89-$4.14/gallon, with $3.99 the average and median price---about a 50 cent increase in a day.  Suttle World was brilliant enough to fill up before Gustav, and ended up paying a couple pennies a gallon more than would have been the case a day after it hit.  Bad timing this go round, but Suttle World probably couldn't cram more than half a tank/appx. 6 gallons into the Hajjmobile II or $3 difference = "no dif-rance'"  

..."(MLB.com) Friday night's siege of bad weather threw pennant races into overdrive, creating today's schedule of 20 games -- 15 of them with postseason implications. Friday's six postponements matched the toll of April 15, 2007, as the Majors' most in one day since April 12, 1997, when eight games were washed away."  Turner Field has been discussed along with Milwaukee as possible neutral sites for at least two games of the Chicago Cubs and Houston Astros series this weekend, games postponed in Houston because of Hurricane Ike.  Suttle World has difficulty believing the red hot Astros would give up two home games in their last minute charge for the NL wild card slot, but, there may not be any more home games for the Astros this season.  As long as Ike in the neighborhood, could it please wash away that idiotic lump in center field of Minute Maid Park?

...Suttle World has been rather cavalier in its continuing belief that Sen. McCain will win the presidential race in November, but is now truly stunned to see Republicans making huge gains in Congressional races too.  Generic Gallop tracking has the parties statistically tied on the question of which party one preferred to vote for in a Congressional/Senate race.  Democrats have held a double digit lead on that question for over a year, and it was measured as an 11 point advantage just two weeks ago!  Suttle World just assumed Democrats would clean up, the tax cuts would not only expire, but there would be a tax increase, and that a resultant recession was a certainty.  Democrats who seemed to unite in Denver have since fallen apart.  This is also very much a surprise to Suttle World, that had been most impressed with the manner in which Senator Obama's campaign had been run over the previous year.  Its a long way until November 4, but the junior Senator from Illinois had better get hold of a big steamin' bowl of Obamamania in a hurry.  No, Suttle World doesn't know where you left it, and wouldn't tell if it did.

...The Endicott College women's soccer team take to the pitch to even their '08 record this afternoon against their first conference opponent, traveling to Regis College in Weston, MA.  The Gulls look to bounce back from a heartbreaking draw Wednesday against Wellesley that scored with one second left on the clock to even the match at one all.  In other collegiate action of up close and personal interest to Suttle World is the Citadel hosting Princeton in Charleston at 1:00.  Fifth year senior, neighbor Clay, is expected, per usual:  to start at center. No local TV of the game.  Instead "Comcast Sports South" proudly presents New Hampshire at Rhode Island at noon.  Breaking with the Suttle World axiom of never putting the fate of one's money on the performance of 19 year olds/don't wager on college sports, Suttle World eagerly takes USC and spots Ohio State 11.5 points.  Props to both schools for scheduling a non cardboard cutout team, and special props to Ohio State for eliminating themselves from the BCS idiocy early, sparing the rest of the world from your unwelcome half ass presence in the "title" game for yet another year.  The Buckeyes have lost 8 of their last 11 bowl games.  Yes, this is an official 2008 Gene, the Caucasian, Pigskin Pick The metro ATL weekend TV sports scheduled is here for the clicking, and includes but a single 1:00 NFL offering Sunday for the dish impaired (as is the case at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor). 

...A belated most respectful and appreciative AMF to Tuskegee Airman and Congressional Medal of Honor recipient Vernon Sport who left this mortal coil Monday from complications of Alzheimer’s disease at his home in Conyers.  Captain Sport was 85.  A memorial service will be at 3 p.m. Sunday at Antioch-Lithonia Baptist Church in Lithonia. Willie A. Watkins Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.  The ranks of this heroic group are dwindling, and the gentle surfer is admonished to never miss the opportunity to hear one speak or meet one of the Airmen---an excellent exercise in humility.  Check the local college happenings board.  The gentle surfer might be surprised.

...Suttle World had no clue that Paul Simon wrote SOTD until checking for date and attribution this morning.

...Daybreak approaches in Texas.  We shall see.

September 12, 2008    y-Ike-s!
                                                                                                                                                                                           Radar Image      Projected Path Click to enlarge

..."HOUSTON (AP) - As a gigantic Hurricane Ike steamed through the Gulf of Mexico toward the Texas coast, officials in America's fourth-largest city made a bold decision: Instead of fleeing, residents here would stare down the storm...Ike was forecast to make landfall early Saturday southwest of Galveston, a barrier island and beach town about 50 miles southeast of downtown Houston and scene of the nation's deadliest hurricane, the great storm of 1900 that left at least 6,000 dead."  Ike's wind field to the east of the eye, stretches roughly 550 miles from north to south---the sucker is bigger the all of New England!  Evacuations in Galveston appear to have been a success, and Houston is always in need of a good power wash, but probably not quite this intense.  Of much greater concern to Suttle World is cuzin Matt.  He and wife Kelly are in the direct path of the storm, with the Bruner Estate in Coldspring sprawled some 125 miles from expected landfall.  Correspondent Matt reports, "If this thing does go after Houston, we might have a few problems.  If it behaves typically, we will likely have 50 MPH wind and lots of rain (the previous storm predictions were for 16 inches of rain in 24 hours.)"  That's the good scenario for Coldspring fans.  Bruner explains the much less preferable possibility:  "Ike could land as a Cat 4, and skip over Houston and land on us, like Rita did.  We would be pretty screwed in that scenario - 120 MPH wind, neighbor's roof in our living room, car smashed by tree, no power for months, no water, etc."  They are still debating as to whether to board up the estate.  Ever the optimist, Matt sums it up this way:  "We have fuel, food, water purifier, health and ammo, so I know we will
be OK.  If power is out, I will let you know we are OK by alternate means."  Suttle World is pulling for the first chain of events, but is curious about the alternate means of communication in the event of a power outage.  Semaphore is probably a non-starter, given that gosh darn curve of the earth thing.  Finally, the Suttle World tradition of checking for hotel rooms in Ike's path reveals a number of good deals still to be had, with downtown Houston properties now adding a beach icon to their list of amenities.

...Yes, it was more than appropriate to suspend campaigning yesterday to commemorate the 7th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centers and Pentagon, and Suttle World salutes both candidates, especially Senator Obama who proposed the idea to Senator McCain in a congratulatory telephone call after the GOP convention.  Last night's joint appearance at Columbia was unwatchable, excepting to point out that the crowd that definitely had Obamamania is the same institution of higher learning with the "vaunted" "School of Journalism" from where the next crop of the national press corps is being indoctrinated.

...The local radio sports headline this morning said that Georgia would travel to Columbia tomorrow, and Suttle World thought that the Bulldogs had punched up their schedule this year, giving them a true shot at a national championship that doesn't exist.  Then Mr. Radio continues that its Columbia, SC, and Georgia will play South Carolina, not Columbia University---and Suttle World thought that the Bulldogs had punched up their schedule this year, giving them a true shot at a national championship that doesn't exist. Watching Spurrier fade away into an afterthought is fun.  No Georgia fans are to be found at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, but all will cheer the Bulldogs if they have a chance to run the score up to 74-6.  In other college football "news," Carolina goes on the road, and dismantles mighty Rutgers in the featured ACC Thursday night game. Hey, its a start.

...Meanwhile, along the craggy coast of Massachusetts, the Endicott College women's soccer team scratched out a draw against Wellesley Wednesday evening (1-1) to run their early season record to 1-2-1.  Next up for the Gulls is a roadie Saturday to take on Regis, their first conference (TCCC) opponent of the young season.

..."(AP) LONDON - Zoologists have captured the first photos of the okapi in the wild, saying Thursday they offered evidence that the animal once mistaken for a unicorn has managed to survive war and poaching in a park in a lawless swath of Congo.  The doe-eyed animal, which can be found in zoos worldwide, is a relative of the giraffe but has zebra-like stripes on its legs and rear.  The species was unknown to European scientists until a century ago. It is thought to have inspired claims of unicorn sightings by Victorian-era explorers, said Noelle Kumpel, a conservationist with the Zoological Society of London, which released the photos."  Suttle World is confused.  Did the okapi in captivity just get off the bus at the various zoos where they are on display "worldwide," and sneak into their cages before being photographed? 

September 10, 2008    Il's illness overstated; actually dead

..."(AP) SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea denied Wednesday that leader Kim Jong Il is seriously ill, granting a foreign news outlet rare interviews with top officials who dismissed reports questioning Kim's health following his absence from a key ceremony.  Speculation has intensified that Kim may have taken ill after he missed a parade Tuesday commemorating the communist state's founding 60 years ago. That followed weeks of absence from public view and rumors that foreign doctors were brought in to the isolated nation to possibly treat him."  Sources close to Suttle World say that the Korean dictator is alive and well---just taking a well deserved  vacation with long time friend Fidel Castro.  The two were spotted perusing the house wares department in a Wal-Mart near Boca Raton, FL earlier this week.

..."(WSJ) What’s the difference between a more hopeful kind of politics and old-fashioned attacks? Lipstick.  Barack Obama says the John McCain-Sarah Palin policies don’t represent change, they’re “just calling the same thing something different.  You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” Obama said during a town-hall style event here Tuesday night.  The comment played on Republican vice presidential candidate Palin’s joke during the Republican National Convention that the only difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom was lipstick."  Sounds like the the start of an unexpected melt down to Suttle World.  Senator Obama is seemingly obsessed with the bottom half of the Republican ticket, and if that bottom half isn't Dan Quail or Spiro Agnew, Suttle World can see little electoral value in such a strategy.

...Charlie, Charlie, Charlie..."(AP) NEW YORK - House Republican leaders demanded Tuesday that embattled Rep. Charlie Rangel be removed from his post as chairman of a tax-writing committee while an ethics panel reviews his personal finances."  And rightly so.  After the revelation that Rangel holds the lease on four different rent controlled apartments in NYC (at least one of which was used as a campaign office), comes word of tax evasion regarding income from a Dominican Republic condo he bought with a loan that didn't carry any interest.  Bottom line:  the nation may well have survived Rangel chairing the House Ways and Means Committee---a state of affairs many economists, and Suttle World, doubted to be possible.

...The Endicott College women's soccer team come off a two game road trip to face Wellesley.  The 1-2 Gulls kickoff at 7:00.

September 9, 2008     Down goes Brady!

..."FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (AP) - The New England Patriots have come back from injuries before, winning three Super Bowls and reaching a fourth despite losing Rodney Harrison, Richard Seymour, Junior Seau and Drew Bledsoe. Now they will try to do it without Tom Brady."  And so the "winningest" team of this still unnamed decade will take a year off. Sure, Matt Cassel could become Earl Morral, Jr., but as the new starting QB for the Pats said while also subbing for Brady on his local radio show yesterday:  ""I'm not trying to be Tom Brady. I'm just trying to be Matt Cassel, I don't know where that's going to take us."  Suttle World has a hunch:  its going to take them nowhere (turn a right at East Jesus, you can't miss it) in a hurry.  Bean Town denizens can, and certainly are, taking solace in the Sox surge---now within a half game of 1st place Rays.

..."(WSJ) Washington -- The Justice Department has quietly hired one of the nation's best-known litigators, former Walt Disney Co. vice chairman Sanford Litvack, for a possible antitrust challenge to Google Inc.'s growing power in advertising.  Display and search-based Web advertising, which are dominated by Google, have transformed the media industry. As a result, a federal antitrust case against Google could set new boundaries for Internet competition, much as the Justice Department suit against Microsoft Corp. a decade ago broke ground applying antitrust law to new technologies."  And so the age old adage has changed:  "invent a better mousetrap and the Justice Department will beat a path to your door."  They'll come well armed too with a former Disney big-wig---someone who knows from strong arm tactics that have strained the budgets of middle class America for decades by inducing wallet emptying screams of demand from the pre-adolescent crowd.

...From the meaningless, but amazingly weird department comes this factoid:  the highest human body temperature ever recorded was that of Willie Jones who was admitted to Grady Memorial Hospital, Atlanta, Georgia, USA, with heatstroke on July 10, 1980, a day when the temperature reached 90F with 44% humidity. Jones's temperature was found to be 115.7F.  He was discharged after 24 days according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

...Want more weird?..."(AJC) DOTHAN, Ala. --- [Larry] Blumberg is chairman of an organization offering Jewish families as much as $50,000 to relocate to Dothan, an overwhelmingly Christian town of 58,000 that calls itself the Peanut Capital of the World. Get involved at Temple Emanu-El and stay at least five years, the group’s leaders say, and the money doesn’t have to be repaid."  Res jokus loquitor.

..."(AP) NEW YORK - Sprint Nextel Corp. is making a big push to help customers understand their phones, creating a formal program to make store employees available to explain their products and set them up for buyers."  Suttle World extends major props to Sprint for experimenting with this new business model of informing customers about their product.  This will no doubt  become a case study at Wharton.  Its also a gamble, as Sprint, the nation's most despised cell phone provider, could see the move backfire.  Fully informed customers may come to hate Sprint that much more.

...In the obscurity of a Monday afternoon in Queens, Roger Federer beat Andy Murray in straight sets to capture his fifth consecutive US Open and 13th grand slam title. Timing is everything, and, unfortunately, Federer has none.  Perhaps one of the best tennis players to ever pick up a racket, Roger will be the historical equal of Jeff Pyles---arguably the greatest duckpin bowler in the history of that storied game.  Nobody cares about tennis despite Federer and the Williams sisters---the women's equivalent of Jeff Pyles.  Mens hardcourt tennis has long since become the sports version of air hockey.

September 8, 2008    Fannie and Freddie "rescued"

..."(WSJ) In its most dramatic market intervention in years, the U.S. government seized two of the nation's largest financial companies, taking direct responsibility for firms that provide funding for around three-quarters of new home mortgages.  Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced plans Sunday to take control of troubled mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and replace the companies' chief executives. The Treasury will acquire $1 billion of preferred shares in each company without providing immediate cash, and has pledged to provide as much as $200 billion to the companies as they cope with heavy losses on mortgage defaults. The Treasury's plan puts the two companies under a conservatorship, giving management control to their regulator, the Federal Housing Finance Agency, or FHFA."  Forever being short bus material in money and banking lane of the economic super-highway, Suttle World has no pithy take on the announcement, excepting to point out that both Freddie and Fannie where quasi-governmental agencies before the "bailout."  Equity markets seem rather enthusiastic about the move, with DOW futures up 250 points well over two hours before the week's opening bell.  That, combined with a $3 TRILLION annual budget, another $200 billion is the equivalent to replacing two tires for the imperial federal government.

...The first NFL Sunday:  Suttle World was very impressed with Matt Ryan's first NFL pass going 62 yards for a touchdown on the Falcons second play from scrimmage against Detroit yesterday afternoon, but it occurred to Suttle World as Michael Jenkins crossed the goal line that the kid's career can go nowhere but down from that moment forward.  Suttle World thinks the Falcons looked pretty good yesterday, but the gentle surfer must keep in mind they played the franchise that has lost more games in this still unnamed decade than any other NFL team.  Gene, the Caucasian, gets off to a good start, with the first teaser of the year returning a tidy $280 on its $100 wager.

..."(AP) NEW YORK - Broadway said goodbye Sunday to "Rent," 12 years and 5,124 performances after it first became a rock musical with a message for theatergoers of all ages."  The message was "please close this show!", but somehow the communiqué was delayed by about 11 and a half years.

...Getting the second week of September started on the right note, is another essay from Texas based buddy Matt, with the latest installment of his best selling Bruner's Texas Takes >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

September 7, 2008    Pirates route Mountaineers

...Break up East Carolina!  "GREENVILLE, N.C. (AP)  Jonathan Williams had two short touchdown runs, quarterback Patrick Pinkney was nearly perfect and the Pirates routed No. 8 West Virginia 24-3 on Saturday for their third straight win over a ranked team."  Having witnessed the beat down, Suttle World believes the ESPN crew that worked the game to be still in the press box, talking into dead mics about "how any time now, we're going to see West Virginia start to take over this game."  And exactly when was the last time a team beat three straight ranked opponents?   Perhaps not too long ago in an era of the super conference championship games, but nobody immediately comes to mind.

...In other NCAA action Saturday, the ACC confirmed what many believed to be true:  in a year when the SEC may be the best conference in the history of college football, the ACC may be the worst of all time in '08.  Tech looked decent in their road win against BC, and Wake, the league's only ranked school, STOP THE MUSIC!  Miami, Virginia Tech, FSU, BC and Clemson are in this league, and Wake is the cream of the crop!!!???  Anyway, the ACC's only ranked school struggled mightily against Ole Miss---hideous.  Finally, in the name of all that is good and decent, would the pollsters please drop Ohio State a few notches after struggling against lowly Ohio yesterday, and get the perennial BCS punching bag out of this year's discussion early to avoid the holiday rush?

...In yet other collegiate play..."(Williams College Sports Information) WILLIAMSTOWN, Mass. - The Endicott College women's soccer team dropped its second-straight decision on Saturday, falling to No. 11 Williams College, 4-1, in Williamstown, Massachusetts. The Gulls are now 1-2 overall.

...Today the NFL 2008 season cranks up in earnest, and sources close to Suttle World indicate that Earnest is none too pleased with the current state of affairs.  Regardless, the Falcons open at home against the Lions, proving once again the Pete Rozelle axiom that on any given Sunday, any two teams can play a really tedious game.  On the bright side, there's no way it could be any worse than the big Thursday night season kickoff game in which the highlight was the pre game presentation.  Most eyes will glance towards Miami for Bret Favre's first outing with the Jets, but how the hell could anyone make an assessment when the Dolphins are the opponent?  The Bears at Indy tonight is most likely the best ball game on the schedule---an unfortunate state of affairs, because with a 8:30 start, there's little chance Suttle World will ever see the end.

...OK---Suttle World pledges to get the NFL season started properly, and keep track over the course of this season, as, Gene, the Caucasian, emerges from hibernation for another year of pigskin picks.  Having devoted little attention to the pre-season, this would be a good week to pass, but there's no fun in that.  So, if the gentle surfer must wander over to the wagering window, may the Mit)h be with you.  And its Mit)hness upon which the Caucasian relies in its first week pick---dusting off the three team, six point teaser in taking (net) KC +21.5 v. NE; AZ @ SF under 48; and NO @ TB under 48.5.  Pays 9:5.  The season shall be documented here.

..."LONDON (Reuters) - A father mistakenly declared dead after going missing eight years ago has been reunited with his family after his son spotted him on television, police said on Thursday."  Believed to be missing with a number of men, they never expected to see him again, but Captain and Mrs. Walker, along with son Tommy, had a joyful reunion.  The rest of the story:  "The family of John Delaney thought he had died when he disappeared in April 2000. They held a funeral and cremation after police found what they thought was his body three years later.  But Delaney, 71, from Oldham, Greater Manchester, had in fact been admitted to hospital in a confused state 10 days after he was reported missing.  Suffering from amnesia caused by a head injury, he couldn't give police any clues about his name, address or family.  When further police checks failed to uncover his identity, he was given the new name David Harrison and handed over to social services. They put him in a care home where he stayed for the next eight years."  Brilliant!  Q:  "Doctor/bureaucrat what do we do with this old guy who doesn't seem to remember who he is?"  A:  "Let's given him a fictitious name, and put him in the medical equivalent of the witness protection program.  That'll help solve the mystery."  Collectively, all of those involved in not getting Capt. Walker home are the Suttle World Mit)h of the week.

...Yes, Suttle World teed it up at Sugar Creek yesterday afternoon (8 holes worth until rain mercifully intervened), and, no, Suttle World does not wish to discuss the matter any further.

...Hurricane Ike certainly has all the appearances of being the big one [Elizabeth], but only the tincture of time will provide the charts and graphs necessary to determine how bad and where.

September 6, 2008    Holy Nielson, Batman!

...The numbers have been tallied, and Suttle World is dumbfounded! Three times in the last two weeks, political speeches at both party's conventions were watched by more people than the "American Idol" finale, the Academy Awards and the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics this year.  Yes, the conventions play to the same "bread and circuses" mentality of the other events noted, but Suttle World believes if the trend continues, turnout could exceed 50% in November.  What a country!

...This morning's update comes from a cavernous stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, as Suttle World assumes the position of weekend bachelor.  Aside from being rather dull, Suttle World's ability to roam the halls alone has born fruit.  As an example, upon closer inspection, Suttle World has discovered that much of the statuary in the Manitoba Room in the west wing to have been neglected by the staff.  The glass encased collection of Roman ruins is not properly displayed, and the Rico Carty shrine is in desperate need of a makeover.  But let not the gentle surfer's heart be troubled, Suttle World will perceiver the next 36 hours, as the world's greatest wife luxuriates (Bill Gates' dictionary actually thinks that's a real verb) in lovely Sparta, GA.  Courage!

..."(Bloomberg) -- Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi greeted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at his compound in Tripoli late today, sealing the resumption of ties between the U.S. and an oil-rich country it once branded as a terrorist outcast.  Qaddafi wore a white robe with a green and yellow sash patterned in outlines of the African continent as he welcomed Rice for the highest-level visit by an American official in his 39 years in power."  ...and then Alice stepped through the looking glass.  Suttle World reckons Condi just decided to drop in on old Mo, have a couple beers, and swap stories.  Though no longer a "terrorist outcast," Qaddafi still looks marvelous; and by early accounts, was watched by more people than the "American Idol" finale, the Academy Awards and the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics this year.

"(AJC) A 23-year-old man was stabbed in his neck and stomach with a can opener while fighting with his [twin] brother over who would get to have sex with a prostitute first, according to an Atlanta police report."  Authorities continue to investigate as to whether alcohol was a factor in the incident.  Suttle World wonders as to whether the ho trade has a standing policy for twins---discount or premium?  Does the industry consider such an assault flattering?  Such questions are the many complexities of the human experience that prevent Suttle World from getting anything done.  Suttle World would also hasten to add that the same "news" organ (the worst major daily paper in the country) informs Suttle World that its "best bets" for its big bachelor Saturday to be:  "Use It or Lose It"---a 9:00 am to 1:00 pm event that includes morning coffee and lunch along with seminars on heart health, nutrition information, and screenings for blood pressure and more for only $30; the College Park Cityfest where if Suttle World doesn't bring its own firearm, one will be provided by the promoters; and A Taste of Kennesaw---a notion Suttle World finds to be rather unappetizing.  "Gee, that Main Street really has a subtle, woody flavor."

...Belated sports take...Paul Azinger is a moron!  Leaving Rocco Mediate off the Ryder Cup team is a crime against God, golf and nature.  And how in the hell did a guy who has won half as many majors as Andy North get to be captain of the Ryder Cup?  So, props to the pinheads who picked the picker.  Meanwhile, the compelling FedEx Cup that nobody understands (including the participants) continues.  Yes, "these guys are good"---at hitting 3 irons, not at promoting the game.

...While in the golf aisle, a couple other quick notes.  First, it would appear that the fourth annual Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic is coming together for the first week in October.  Cuzin Bill/Admiral Stockdale is this year's host in the metro ATL.  More details as they are confirmed.  Second---jackpot!!!  Suttle World literally won the lottery, and, come May, should have possession of two badges for each round of the 2009 US Open at Beth Page Black outside NYC.  They cost $400 each, and should sell for around $2500 a piece, if not more.  Not a bad return on a simple email.  The gentle surfer is warned that simple emails to the son of the late head of the Nigerian Treasury, Umbabmana Suartuchee Qym, will most likely not fetch the $38 million promised. 

...The Endicott Gulls hit the road again this afternoon to take on Williams College in of all places, Williams, MA.  The women's soccer squad looks to bounce back from their Thursday loss at Salem State that evened their early season record at 1-1 (or is that one all and nil?).  Kick off is at noon.

...Correction:  previous references to the Citadel playing at Clemson were erroneous by one week.  The Bulldogs have this Saturday off, and travel to Death Valley next Saturday.

...Finally, college football is now in full force, and a couple of pennant races are in play this first weekend of September.  Suttle World comes to the rescue for the cable bound ATL gentle surfer with a weekend TV lineup here for the clicking.

September 5, 2008  McCain survives acceptance

..."My friends," Senator McCain muddled through the first 40 minutes, and then finished strong to make a respectable showing in a setting that everyone on the planet (including the candidate and his mama) knew to not be his forte.  Though awkward, if re-read, McCain did a decent job of highlighting the distinctions between the parties, or, at least what many would like to perceive as the real differences.  Suttle World strongly suggests the GOP ticket continue to hammer home the biggest alleged difference over the next two months:  Democrats believe America is great because of its government;  Republicans allegedly believe that America is great because of its people from whom the powers of government are derived (see Jefferson, 1776).  Suttle World was also struck that someone would finally point out that in the process of becoming a $3 TRILLION/year behemoth to create our own special worker's paradise, the mentality of grandiose government programs are still stuck in the 1950's and 60's mentality in which they were created.  And so the two year long nomination process is finally over, with the payoff being a "short"/two month long general election campaign.  An opening note:  much like Suttle World tired of 1157 voters in South Dakota running its life by virtue of continuing to re-elect Tom Daschle for damn near 20 years, Suttle World is very fatigued by Ohio constantly having the say so on who the next occupant of the Oval Office will be.  Any state that begat the Dead Boys, Devo and the Rubber City Rebels can't be all that bad, but its gotta be time to give Missouri or Nebraska its shot.

...Suttle World extends major props to the world's greatest rock n roll guitarist, Ross the Boss, whose new album "New Metal Leader" debuts at #99 on the German charts one week following its release.  In previous missives (forwarded from wife of Suttle World), RTB has indicated that the Ross the Boss Band will embark on a very ambitious world tour to pimp the new release.  As those plans are being ironed out, only a month stands between the Gen. Francophiles and The Dictators four night stand across the pond October 1-4.

...The Gulls drop a tough 2-0 match against Salem State yesterday afternoon to even their record at 1-1.  Next up, another roadie Saturday as the Endicott women travel to take on Williams College---conveniently located in Williams, MA.  Its a noon kickoff.  A couple of hours later, and about a thousand miles to the south, starting center neighbor Clay and his Citadel teammates will kick off another intra state contest versus Clemson in Death Valley.

...Very classy opening for the Giants in last night's NFL opener followed by a dull game against a hideous looking Redskins team.  Suttle World sets the over/under at 10:00 this morning as to when Al Michaels will get a call from Commissioner Goddell regarding his comment on Washington's last drive that "some people might be very interested" in the game's final plays.  A Redskin touchdown would have allowed Washington to cover the 4.5 point spread. 

..."(AccuWeather.com) Two tropical systems are forecast to slam into the Southeast coast in the upcoming days. The first, Tropical Storm Hanna, will race up the East Coast this weekend. Dangerous Hurricane Ike will threaten next week.  According to Expert Senior Meteorologist John Kocet [not to be confused with AccuWeather's Mediocre Senior Meteorologist], "Hanna will be remembered as a nor'easter, not a terribly destructive storm, but one that will bring wind and rain to the East Coast from eastern North Carolina to Maine and Nova Scotia, Canada." Kocet says 2 to 3 inches of rain will fall in the major urban areas along the Interstate 95 corridor as the storm taps into moisture from the Atlantic.  Ike exploded from a tropical storm on Wednesday to a dangerous Category 4 hurricane Wednesday evening.  According to Kocet, the storm by Sunday will be a little north of the same position that Hanna occupied Friday. From there, Ike could head toward the Atlantic Coast of the U.S."  Suttle World speculates that few will like this Ike.  Yes, Hanna is reminiscent of Hurricane Charley in 2004 that played an unwelcome roll in the Abu, Dude Where's My Car Hajj, and no, Suttle World does not wish to discuss that particular matter any further.

..."(AP) DETROIT - Only hours after agreeing to resign and serve time in jail as part of plea deal, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick expressed regret for the scandal that has engulfed the city — and left the door open for a return to public life."  The former mayor made his statement following a telephone pep talk from Marion Barry.  Kilpatrick leaves behind a city in shambles, but one who's school system is still accredited.  The same cannot be said for Clayton County---the south metro ATL district has lost its accreditation from the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools---the first such distinction in nearly 40 years.  Big city mayoral scandals are a dime a dozen.  Losing accreditation for a government school system is an achievement that requires a long, tireless pattern of intense Mit)hness.

September 4, 2008    Palin delivers

...Energizing a crowd of 20,000 boring old white folks is not the envy of any speaker.  Being literally shoved on stage at 10:30 sharp right before a sniper was going to take out Rudi for running too long with his keynote address doesn't help.  Putting gerunds at the beginning of each sentence is no easy task either, but that's  another onus for Suttle World to bear.  Back to the boring white folks, quite appropriately situated very close to the Canadian border:  Governor Palin and her hair delivered a great speech last night, and suddenly, the Democratic standard bearer doesn't appear quite as "young, fast and scientific."  Now Senator Obama looks like a new, made for TV version of the Daley machine with a running mate who would look as much at ease atop Sea Biscuit as he does on the Senate floor.  Tonight is another kettle of fish.  Nobody will ever confuse McCain and Webster (not the Benson like Webster), making the object of tonight's speech merely to muddle through well enough to get a truncated campaign kick started this weekend.

...Props to radio legend Paul Harvey today---his 90th birthday.  Currently in the latter stages of a 10 year deal inked with ABC in 2000 worth $100 MILLION, Suttle World speculates that Harvey (Aurandt), a former high school classmate of Tony Randall in Tulsa, is the highest earning 90 year old in US history.  Good day indeed.

...The 2008 NFL season kicks off tonight with its now formerly annoying Thursday night opener.  This year, as opposed to merely screwing up scheduling for fantasy drafts, the game is a marquee matchup because the Redskins will be featured against the defending Super Bowl Champion NY Giants.  An assortment of spreads (3.5-4.5) and prices (-$105--$120) favor the Giants depending on where the wagering gentle surfer shops.  Kickoff is mercifully scheduled for 7:00.

...Pennant race wise, the Red Sox take a 5 game lead in the AL wild card race, most likely leaving either the Twins of White Sox out of post season play.  In the Senior Circuit, very nervous Mets fans "enjoy" a 3 game lead over the Phillies, and the Dodgers are still a game and a half up over Arizona for the western division pennant.  Most teams have 21-22 games remaining.

...The Endicott Gulls women's soccer team takes their 1-0 record on the road this afternoon to play nearby Salem State in a 4:00 match.

September 3, 2008    Atlantic churns three new storms; Mexican vegetables suspected culprit

..."(AP) WASHINGTON (AP) - The tropics seem to be going crazy what with the remnants of Gustav, the new threat from Hanna, a strengthening Ike and newcomer Josephine. Get used to it.  Hurricane experts say all the weather ingredients, which normally fluctuate, are set on boil for the formation of storms. And it's going to stay that way for a while, they said.  Four named storms at the same time is a bit odd, but not unprecedented, meteorologists said. In 1995 five named storms lived simultaneously. And in 1998 there were four hurricanes at the same. But wait and see what happens next."  No doubt, any hurricane bearing down on any given gentle surfer is a serious matter, but if the current status of four named storms has happened around 18% of the last 12 seasons---with the last being 10 years ago, the event hardly seems newsworthy.  Makes for a neat map, but not a newsworthy one.

...Senator Joe Lieberman (Indecisive-CT), the guy who changed his entire world view to run with Al Gore, sees things a little differently four years later as he addressed the RNC last night, and nobody cares.  This is one of the many reasons Suttle World urged the GOP to make this year's convention a one day affair.  It seems humane in light of Gustav, and would spare all from the borefest that will be the next two nights.  Fred Thompson, President Bush and old Joe---a prime time line up that would beat "My Mother the Car" like a baby seal.

...Shout out to the ever courageous Anonymous for the Pulitzer winning material that gives further replication to George Bernard Shaw's axiom that "it is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."  Yes, Suttle World often falls short in the humor and other departments, but a defamation action, now that's hysterical.

..."(AJC) BEIJING — The Coca-Cola Co. moved to expand its operations in China’s fast-growing market Wednesday by offering $2.4 billion for the county’s largest juice manufacturer.  Suttle World has to believe they've finally let the New Coke guys out of the basement, or perhaps the demand for "Chinese juice" is much greater than Suttle World imagined.

..."(AP) PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Members of the 1980s rock band whose pyrotechnics sparked a nightclub fire that killed 100 people have agreed to pay $1 million to survivors and victims' relatives, according to court papers filed Tuesday.  The settlement offer from Great White is the latest stemming from the February 2003 fire at The Station nightclub in West Warwick."  In a press conference, a spokesperson for the band said that after a search of all sofa cushions, the group only needed to raise another $998,246 to fulfill the judgment.  Legal experts speculate that the settlement would have been much larger if not for the contributory negligence of the victims--following the long held doctrine of: one who attends a Great White show at one's own risk.

...(AP) CHICAGO - The number of teen suicides has fallen slightly but the rate remains disturbingly high, researchers said, possibly fueled by drug warnings that have scared many from using antidepressants.  The suicide rate was about 4.5 per 100,000 in 2005, the most recent data available. That follows an 18 percent spike the previous year that alarmed experts when first reported."  Stop the music!  Unfortunate indeed, but what if that rate where three times higher?  Headlines would scream, and national "town hall" meetings would be held to address the problem.  Meanwhile, the suicide rate of those over 65 years of age is 15.3 per 100,000 persons, or about 3 times the rate of teenagers.

...Rare, brief SOTD reference:  The Tornados were the first British band to top the US charts with today's Joe Meek ditty---a full year before the Beatles' assault.

September 2, 2008    Crescent city spared; Gulls win!

..."(AP) NEW ORLEANS - New Orleans evacuees scattered across the country were anxious to return home after their city was largely spared by Hurricane Gustav, but Mayor Ray Nagin warned they may have to wait in shelters and motels a few days longer."  Suttle World found itself among the majority who feared the worst upon retiring Sunday evening.  A recovering Gulf Coast economy has still been denied a big holiday weekend, and it will take more than a case of Super Bounties to clean up the mess left by the side-stepping storm.  That said: a poll of residents found that the vast majority preferred clean up chores to decomposition by a factor of over four to one.

...The Endicott College women's soccer season got off to a smashing start outside Boston yesterday afternoon as the Gulls shut out the visiting Babson Beavers (ya just can't make it up) 2-0 in a Labor Day match that served as the opener for both teams.  Sources close to Suttle World say freshman sensation, the menacing Montpelier mid fielder, Kaitlin Waring, logged eight minutes or more in her collegiate debut for an Endicott team that is looking to take their sixth straight TCCC title.  Junior forward Allyson Bellemore was the Gulls' first star---collecting a goal and an assist in the victory. Next up: the Gulls hit the road to take on Salem State, Thursday.

...Two months until the election, and in keeping with the Suttle World Campaign Reform Act, this organ shall now cease and desist from the use of the now worn, Bermanesque references to the principals.  Yes, Benson was right on the money, but Uncle Ernie never was fair, and Suttle World had only begun to play with now grandma Velma.  The pseudo yucks don't end, and the mantra remains "Suttle World decides, you vote!"  But from here on out its Senators Obama and Biden versus Senator McCain and Governor Plain.  Oh, and there's also pinhead Libertarian candidate, Congressman Bob Barr.  Given nobody wants to touch it, excepting those furthest on the fringes,  the pregnant kid story doesn't appear to be going anywhere.

...For the second time in MLB history, two players hit for the cycle on the same day when Arizona's Stephen Drew and Seattle's Adrian Beltre did it in wins on Monday. The first time was in 1920.  Drew and Beltre also are the 284th and 5th players in MLB history to hit for the cycle.

...Suttle World watched for Mary Weiss, and her advertised performances on yesterday's MDA telethon, but drew blanks---as she was, no doubt, bumped during the fluid 21 hour affair.  What Suttle World did observe was a vibrant 82 year old Jerry Lewis who basically ran the show for the couple hours it served as background noise around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.  A record $65 million was pledged during the event---the 44th annual such happening.

..."CHICAGO (Reuters) - Millions of poor children in the United States may be getting fat before age 10 because their mothers are stressed out and the youngsters seek escape in unhealthy comfort food, researchers said on Tuesday.  The stress is rooted in poverty and can be brought on by money woes, work loads, insufficient health insurance and other factors, said Craig Gundersen of the University of Illinois, who led the study.  "People will eat in response to feeling stress," he said in a telephone interview, and in this case children may be eating more in response to stress-related trouble at home."  Interesting theory, but even stipulating the correlation, Suttle World questions as to whether the stress of poverty also causes parents to only hit the Twinkie aisle at Kroger?  The "unhealthy comfort food" isn't being whipped up by the kids in the kitchen.

..."SHANGHAI (Reuters) - Shanghai police will post photos and videos of jaywalkers in newspapers and on TV in a bid to shame them out of breaking traffic rules, local media reported on Thursday."  Its part of a study that also includes a test group in Beijing where jaywalkers will be summarily shot on sight.  The two groups will prepare reports, and meet in January as China looks to refine its national pedestrian policy.

September 1, 2008 Labor Day Gustav poised to strike

..."(AP) NEW ORLEANS - Hurricane Gustav charged toward the largely deserted coast of Louisiana early Monday morning and seemed destined to make landfall west of a city still recovering three years after Katrina's devastating blow.  Those who heeded the days of warnings to get out watched from shelters and hotel rooms hundreds of miles away, praying the powerful Category 3 storm and its 115-mph winds would pass without the same deadly toll.  In all, nearly 2 million people left south Louisiana, as did tens of thousands from coastal Mississippi, Alabama and southeastern Texas."  The gentle surfer can stay much better in tune with events as they unfold today along the Gulf Coast.  90% of the population has evacuated, and Gustav probably will not deliver the full wallop of the Cat 3 storm that had been anticipated as late as Sunday evening.  Thanks to cuzin Matt, who in his usually calm and informative fashion, eases the mind of Suttle World who believes the Bruner estate to be in the path of the storm's remnants---moving towards metropolitan Coldspring.  "History shows again and again how nature points up the folly of men (D. Roeser/BOC, 1977)."  Generally speaking, man does do a better job at tidying up than does nature---the hardship and triumph of same that Gustav becomes as of tomorrow.  Republicans have responded pretty well, but Suttle World would announce an acclamation vote for tonight, and then adjourn the convention in lieu of a previously mentioned couple hours of prime time later this week.  Final observation:  CNN continues to do a better job in covering spot news events such as this than anyone.

...All else is on hold.  Unbelievably unmentioned in Sunday's NCAA football recap was relishing in Michigan's second consecutive home opening loss---this time at the hands of Utah's Mighty Mormons.  When does Notre Dame get a beat down from Army, and have Charlie Weiss explain his restrictive recruiting problems?  The usually whinny backers of southeastern "schools" actually have the game to back up their bombastic, little flag attached to their vehicles, insufferable selves this time around.  Suttle World anticipates primarily  beating on "institutions of higher learning" in the mid west in '08.

...Speaking of 2008, now only 16 months to go, and still nobody has named this decade/what the hell is it called?, nor has Suttle World entered a theater.  Its gonna be a photo finish, with the ball in Times Square a current 3:2 favorite in Vegas.

...Suttle World wonders as to whether the naked cowboy in Times Square takes off Labor Day (so to speak).  Suttle World speculates the answer is largely dependent on whether dude has settled his trademark infringement action against the Mars candy folks.  For all the bad, cynical lines regarding unions and the like, the bottom line is that the American laborer is the most productive worker on the planet.  Be it performed with one's name embroidered on the outside of one's shirt or the name Brooks Brothers sewn on the inside of one's jacket, Suttle World extends major props to the American laborer on all rungs of the food chain, and especially to the nurses, newspaper delivery folks, fire fighters and many others who don't know from holidays.  Let the animal flesh broil, and the brewed beverages flow---just take it easy, its a work night.

...Hurricane or not, the Endicott women's soccer program gets underway this afternoon at 3:00 in lovely Beverly, MA as the Gulls match up against Babson.  Freshman mid fielder, Kaitlin Waring, reports anticipating limited PT in her collegiate debut.  It truly is a near Rockwellian moment---as mom and dad stroll the scenic Endicott campus on a lovely September day, and reminisce of their own college experiences as they prepare to leave their only daughter several hundred miles from home.   "...an oxygen mask will drop from overhead.  Place the mask over your face and breath normally.  An air sickness bag is located in the seat pocket in front of you for your convenience."  Stout, hard scrabble, New England spunk indeed.

...Julius Irving is great in the new Dr. Pepper spots.  However, Suttle World does not get Emmitt showing up with Frazier and Hernandez on the tube in the alimony commercials.  Suttle World has difficulty understanding how he could owe either a favor, and speculates Smith just needs a better agent.  Either that, or shoe polish like, men's "hair care" products make a hell of a lot more money than Suttle World would have ever imagined.  And just because nobody asked, who the hell cares if "there's no play for Mr. Gray?"  Dude hasn't had an erection since the first Clinton administration, just ask the Cialis folks .  FYI - the Bill Gates dictionary recognizes Cialis as a word/doesn't squiggle it, but not Emmitt, the NFL's all time leading rusher---a completely different disturbing state of affairs. 

...Mary Weiss of the Shangri-Las will appear live on the 43rd Jerry Lewis Labor Day Muscular Dystrophy Telethon today.  Mary will perform two songs at 3:10 PM and 6:10 PM EST.  Check local television listings or watch live at www.mda.org.  In the ATL, long time partner WAGA/Channel 5 kicked the event to the curb a number of years ago, and the entire MD telethon can be caught on independent/UPN UHF channel 69/WUPA/#10 on most local cable systems.  Weiss's 2007 single, "You're Never Gonna To See Me Cry," was co-written and produced by Andy Shernoff of Dictators infamy.

SUTTLEWORLD 
               
                                                        You Can Save rock n roll!