Archives---September, 2006

September 30, 2006

...Late to the knobs and buttons at Suttle World Headquarters this morning follow a most uncharacteristically late start.

...Also in the uncharacteristic department are the Tucker Tigers, dropping their second straight last night to SW DeKalb (21-20 OT) to suffer only their second regular season loss in five years---this on upset Friday as Wheeler knocks off the state's top ranked/AAAAA team, Roswell.

...DUFFLE page is up to date for those who are unable to follow via Yahoo.  Week 4 should prove interesting as it pits to league's remaining two unbeaten (Mother Tucker v.  Cindromes Conquerors) and the two lone 2 win/above .500 teams (The Dictators v. The Great Falconi) as the other losers play among themselves.  The math suggests the fifth DUFFLE season should be a crowded field as it enters its second-third/backstretch.

...In the coming events department we have Cheap Trick at the Roxy November 9, but $36 is a bit of a stretch.  And the second/b team Little Steven's Underground Garage road show is underway this time featuring The Shadows of Night, The Romantics and the Charms with a couple other acts thrown in at the Variety Playhouse October 25.  A local act is always on the bill.  Cruis-O-Matic is a no brainer.

...Looking like an afternoon date with the purported Faster and Louder Divot City with the Mokeian one.

September 29, 2006

...A belated 75th birthday to official Suttle World father-in-law, George Benson Roberts, who marked up #75 Wednesday.  The celebratory event was shrouded in what has been a less than stellar week for those in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.  The most noteworthy/dubious happening is that Suttle World and the good folks at Georgia Perimeter College have gone their separate ways for the time being.  It was an amicable parting, and one that Suttle World finds most distressing, but far from insurmountable as a future course of action is being plotted.

...Nephew Ridge has battled an upper GI issue the past several days from which he appears to be recovering.  Unfortunate nonetheless, as the struggles with the powers to be (and many that are most supportive) continue at lovely Tucker High School (who dropped their first regular season game in five years last Friday to St. Pius X).

...The good news is that Suttle World's schedule is a great deal more flexible than anticipated two weeks hence.  Discussions of a hurriedly assembled roadie are in the air, but far from certain at this writing.  Rumor has it that Edison, NJ is not quite so ugly this time of year.  Comments from the principals involved in the October 13 performance (and corroborated by other members of the Dictators underground) tend to indicate this may well be a one and done for as far as the eye can see.  The Thunderboss, HDM, Rispler project is another issue that has received little attention since mid month.

September 26, 2006

...The Falcons show poorly on Monday night.  Imagine that, but in an almost too much made for TV moment, the Saints win their first home game in quite a while, pounding Atlanta 23-3---taking with it nephew Ridge's hopes of moving above the DUFFLE .500 mark.  He needed a measly 7 points out of Michael Vick to win and got but 4.

September 25, 2006

...An average performance tonight by the Falcon's Michael Vick and DUFFLE owners of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor will have had their second perfect effort in only the third week of the season.  Ms. Yolanda most likely goes to a league leading 3-0---the only undefeated team remaining.  Meanwhile Suttle World's Dictators and nephew Ridge's Two Tub Men (again, with a little help from Mike) will edge above the .500 mark again---moving to 2-1.  Final results to be posted on the DUFFLE page tomorrow. 

...Suttle World was most heartened to see the passionate President Clinton defend his administration's seeming lack of interest in Bin Laden and al Qaeda in his Fox interview aired yesterday.  It was a good reminder, especially since Suttle World recalls that the President made no mention of the first bombing of the World Trade Center in his Saturday radio address three days after subway and PATH service along with the parking decks were destroyed---much less make any appearance in New York after the attack.  Suttle World does recall the President interrupting his perjury before a federal grand jury to allegedly confer over a lone cruise missile fired into an empty training camp in Afghanistan and the pharmaceuticals factory blown up in Somalia.  Reminders such as this help keep the record straight.  Speaking of which, Suttle World is more than willing to entertain Frank Rich's current book if the gentle surfer will make it available.  The library should prove too long a wait, and $25 for a New York Times columnist seems beyond the pale.  Nonetheless, Frank is a bright guy and Suttle World will at least lend consideration to the current administration's efforts in the middle east.

...No surprise the Euros ran off with the Ryder Cup.  What is a mystery is the continuation of play after the event has been decided.  Sorta like the home team continuing to hit with the lead in the bottom of the ninth.  Props to the world on its third straight win.  Now stop golf until the Hope in January and nobody get hurt.

...Though prematurely reported, Suttle World can state with certitude that the Braves have been eliminated from any possibility of post season play for the first time in 15 years.  Earlier mentions had to do with the division title, statistically captured by the Mets several weeks ago.  Now any shot at the wildcard slot is mathematically out of reach. Post season play, sans the ATL, begins October 3.

September 24, 2006

...Given the fun at the expense of the Domers and their insufferable following to which Suttle World avails itself at every opportunity, it seems only fair to hand out a some props for a truly miraculous comeback (or choke job depending on one's point of view) last night in East Lansing.  Suttle World has to believe it was not alone in missing the adventures, having written off the game and its MSU 31-14 halftime lead and moved on to Boxing After Dark---a decision that proved almost Heidiesque.  Geez, the fight game just cannot suck enough.  Like the rest of western civilization, Suttle World takes no active interest in boxing (one of only three meaningful sports in the US 60 years ago, along with baseball and horse racing), but stipulates that the lower, less sexy weight classes probably have some decent competition.  Suttle World is assuming HBO seeks out the best of these bouts so as to capture as many of the multitudinous, Suttle World like, casual viewers.  Last night featured a replay of last week's pay for view event---a tedious 12 round welterweight affair followed by the main event in the 115 pound class.  115 pounds is midget wrestling!  OK, so the heavyweight division has been in a 30 year slump, but if this is the best the other classes have to offer as its "fight of the week," the whole game is indeed in trouble.  At least the thoroughbred folks can still boast of at least a few truly significant stakes races weekly---even in the slowest of times.  Unmentioned during of after August's 2006 POFGC is that while our hero's basked in the glory of Saratoga Springs Race Course, down the road in Maryland, the short/state fair long Timonium meet was in mid season form.

..Panthers at Buccaneers 1 p.m. Fox, Jaguars at Colts 1 p.m. CBS, Giants at Seahawks 4 p.m. Fox and Broncos at Patriots 8:15 p.m. NBC is the cable menu for ATL denizens, with the Falcons, of course, in New Orleans Monday night.  At the betting cage, Suttle World notes that six teams are dogs at home (TB +3 v. CAR, MIN +3.5 v. CHI, HOU +4 v. WAS, CLE +7 v. BAL, SF +6 v. PHI and NO +3.5)---highly unusual and tempting in a 6 point teaser that would pay 7:1---an exotic if ever there was one.

...Oh yeah, the Ryder Cup.  Not looking good for US fans.  Good clean fun and all that---just don't get too carried away with a biannual exhibition, especially since the Euros have become dominant.

September 23, 2006

...Little to bring again this morning, as a most trying week pulls to an end.  It would be most refreshing to report that Suttle World's precious bodily fluids and criminal activity (or lack thereof) for the past seven years have passed the scrutiny of the powers to be (which, in fact they did), but the sheer idiocy of the process, both in concept and execution are so flawed as to be beyond description, and damper Suttle Worlds enthusiasm to join in the jubilee.  Suttle World has long maintained that such "pre-employment" practices would go the way of the polygraph via judicial fiat before the end of the decade based on grounds of racial discrimination due to an inordinate number of false positives among dark skinned minorities.  Well, the decade is zipping right along.  Could a brother get busy on this one please?  Random testing in certain settings would seem appropriate (doctor/nurse, pilot, choo-choo engineer, et), but given narcotics, cocaine and amphetamines clear the system in less than 72 hours, pre-screens are dumber than dirt in theory and scream out for fraud.  None was the case for Suttle World, its just the principle and $50.

...No big match ups this Saturday on the college gridiron, with only two games involving teams that are all ranked:  #22 Arizona @ #21 Cal and #24 Penn State @ #1 Ohio State.  Also noteworthy is how much smarter those with ballots to cast in either poll are to the entire betting public, given fearsome #12 Notre Dame is only a 3 point favorite on the road against unranked Michigan State.   Suttle World is a big fan of the market, and fewer perfect markets exists outside a football line/wager.  In this circumstance we have only two possibilities, the stupidity of the market/betting public or those who's votes get counted every week since a #12 would rarely be favored by only a field goal versus an unranked opponent, on the road or otherwise.   See boys and girls:  economics can be fun.  Gene, the Caucasian, reminds the gentle surfer to just say no to wagering on 19 year old and wait until tomorrow as the NFL season is beginning to come into its own at the betting cage.

...Suttle World understands that with the current scare,  wholesale spinach sales are down over two-turds (damn, I'm funny). 

...DUFFLE page is running a bit more smoothly.  Feedback welcome.

September 21, 2006

...The shuttle Atlantis lands at this writing, and still Suttle World has no idea what or why there is a space program.  NASA sends up space shuttle missions to support the international space station that exists to justify continuation of the space shuttle missions.  Time to turn this sucker over to Boeing, GE, et al and get out of the golly, gee whiz biz.

...Hooray old folks!  The Falcons bring 46 year old Morten Andersen out of moth balls just in time to "keek a touchdown" against his former employer and nemesis the Saints in the first game in New Orleans since the "No Vacancy" sign was turned off at the Super Dome.

...Off to find a cheap sphygmomanometer.  Suttle World would have appreciated notification of same two months ago, but such is the modus operandi it has come to know and love.

September 20, 2006

...A pic thieved from The Dictators site from the performance of the Handsome Dick Manitoba Band at the closing night of the Continental last Sunday.  The new addition is that of bass player Dean Rispler, who all, including his band mates indicate is a superior talent and all around good guy.  More pics, including some of the recent Thunderboss gig at the above link.  Memo to HDM:  it is the considered opinion of Suttle World that the David Johansen look isn't really you.  Next up, The Dictators at the last ever Friday night show at CBGB October 13, including Shernoff and Scott, Top Ten, Kempner.  Dictators webmistress, Karen Lanza, reports that its scheduled to be a 45 minute set---give or take.

...Pressed for time this morning, so just the usual obligatory updates.

September 19, 2006

...Suttle World is very confused.  Email from HDM indicates that playing with Andy Sunday night was fun and relaxing, and that Rispler is great.  This raises three questions:  1)  Was the Sunday night gig closing the Continental a Dictators show?  2)  If Rispler is playing bass, what is Shernoff doing?  and 3)  Will there be future Dictators gigs beyond the October 13 date to close CBGB?  Manitoba seems to think so given the aforementioned demeanor of all involved, but there, of course, there are no guarantees.  Suttle World will continue to ask and report accordingly.

...Yolanda's Mother Tuckers move to 2-0 in DUFFLE action while nephew Ridge and Suttle World take it on the chin in week 2 and even their records at 1-1.  Look for a page update later today.  Speaking of which, a real thriller on Monday night with the Jags eking out a 9-0 win over the Steelers---the second game of NFL week II decided exclusively by field goals (Denver beat KC 9-6 Sunday). 

...Pressed for time this morning, so to the rescue comes cuzin Matt with another installment of 

September 18, 2006

...Simply a miserable Sunday for Suttle World on the gridiron, with both fantasy teams losing and the Redskins moving to a very disappointing 0-2 with a loss to South America's Team:  The Dallas Cowboys.  Fortunately, the Giants pulled off a miracle comeback, so there are no undefeated teams in the NFC East that may be the best in the NFL this year, or at least the most overrated.  Meanwhile, its difficult to imagine the Falcons putting together two better weekends as they dominated the Bucs opening kickoff to final gun to begin their season with a perfect 2-0 effort.

...Little new to report on The Dictators front this morning, excepting to bid an early bon voyage to John and Karen Lanza who depart Friday for a nearly three week visit to Italia.  Enjoy my friends, and also a preemptive happy second anniversary that they will celebrate on October 9 shortly after their return passage.

...What's worse than Bob Dillon?  A Broadway show about Bob Dillon.  Nope, not with free $200 ducats and a subpoena. 

...Only one big study day left before two exams Tuesday.  Unfortunately the expectations are much higher than the heretofore seemingly incompetent folks proctoring same.  Alas, Suttle World shall persevere in spite of a lack of instruction, irrational curricula scheduling and a general apathy surrounding the school's faculty and staff.  There are, of course, notable exceptions, but unfortunately as rare as intelligent Democrats (judicial notice is served that bright Republicans are not exactly plentiful creatures either).  Suttle World is encouraged to discover that it is unable to locate another student regardless of educational level or clinical experience who has anything good to say about the program either.

September 18, 2006

...Props to Dawn Owar, web mistress of Ross-the-Boss.com who was kind enough to lend her first hand account of the happenings last week that have led to The Dictators scheduling the CBGB gig on October 13.  Suttle World is careful not to use the term reunion, having been admonished many years ago by Adny that The Dictators don't do reunion shows, because they never broke up.  Still, after a two year hiatus Suttle World is left to wonder as to whether there will be other gigs following the October 13th show prior to 2008.  When in doubt go to the source, and that's where the world's greatest wife, Yolanda, went yesterday, breaking off a phone call to the world's greatest guitarist, Ross who has yet to answer.  Inquiring minds REALLY want to know given the unfortunate date chosen for the aforementioned performance as it relates to Suttle World's schedule.

...The gentle surfer is queried to name three things in life more satisfying than seeing the overrated Domers of Notre Dame and their tedious followers getting the snot beat out of them in front of Touchdown Jesus.  The gentle surfer who is in need directions to Tennessee's Neyland Stadium are advised to take the Hillbilly Highway to Florida's Bitch Boulevard.  Hang a left, and you can't miss it.  And while on the college gridiron, props to Carolina for their first win of the year, squeaking out a 45-42 victory over Furman in Chapel Hill.  Suttle World has no recollection of the Tarheels being so bad for such an extended period of time.  They can't blame Mack Brown any more---the SOB's been gone for seven years!

September 16, 2006

...Its official!  The divine Mrs. Karen posted the details yesterday afternoon:  Friday, October 13, CBGB proudly presents The Dictators!!!!!!  Unfortunately the date has been pushed back a week, but Suttle World was 99% certain of the event as of Wednesday evening, as the Handsomest Man in rock n roll, one Handsome Dick Manitoba (a/k/a King of Men, now a/k/a The World's Greatest Entertainer---quit while you're ahead Richard!) was kind enough to reply to email advising that he and Shernoff had a cordial "56 minute" (?) meeting and that all looked like a go.  This show is now billed as the last Friday night show at the infamous venue and will also include Scott, Top Ten, Kempner, who may well be a Dictator again, given he played with them in their last public performance on Randall's Island in August 2004.  The bigger question is to whether this is a one and done deal, or if we shall have other gigs at which to look forward.  Mrs. Lanza says she has no feel for that issue, but is attempting to gather any and all intelligence possible.  Ross the Boss web mistress Dawn Owar has also been solicited to scavenger similar info from the guitar god himself.   Regardless, the date is most problematic for Suttle World who shall be occupied in the ATL until mid-afternoon on the 13th.  A 6:00 flight could be affected, but that's cutting it close to the extreme, especially since the return would be necessary the following day---not that an all nighter at Manitoba's and a diner hasn't been pulled off in the past.

...A couple of decent college football games on the schedule today.  #11 Michigan visits South Bend to take on overrated #2 Notre Dame; and the 8:00 match up between #7 Florida at #13 Tennessee should prove equally entertaining, where Suttle World pulls for a shut out by the Gator defense so as to mute Rocky Top from being heard as few times as possible---another appropriate bell tower situation.  Meanwhile, Georgia seals its fate for not being considered for a big BCS game (assuming they win 10 or 11 games) by taking on their second out of conference patsy:  UAB at home.  With Vandy, Kentucky and Mississippi State built into your schedule already, opponents such as this weeks' and Western Kentucky, deservedly aren't going to cut it in the strength of schedule department.

...A question for economic idiots:  why would the big evil oil companies you accused of "gouging" the public at the pump over the past year allow the price of gasoline to fall to $2.25, with $2.00 in sight before the holidays?  Suttle World could explain it, but understands the concept is beyond the comprehension of those who are of that particular moronic mindset.  

September 15, 2006

...The gentle surfer should gird his or her loins and prepare for the activation of the Hillbilly Dictators Jihad Emergency News Network.  Rumors began swirling from sources close to the band yesterday, and have now been confirmed by a source very, very close to The Dictators that feuding fellows Handsome Dick Manitoba and Andy Shernoff have had an hour long face to face meeting to discuss morphing the now scheduled October 6 CBGB gig into an official Dictators show.  Manitoba made reference to a meeting being scheduled during his air shift on Sirius last night, but Suttle World has learned that the encounter has already taken place and that everything is in place excepting the official announcement.  Obviously, more details in their fullest to come as they become available.

...While still in the HDJ department, cuzins Sal and Rob report that Tuesday's Thunderboss CD release party in NYC was nothing less than spectacular, with the boys, including Dean Rispler of the HDM band that is scheduled to close the Continental in a week and then CBGB in October, playing two sets at a bar in the basement of the apartment building which houses JP, Thunderbolt, Patterson and family.  Both report Rispler to be a superb bass player and all around nice guy; that JP's entire family, dad and all, were in attendance, and that Ross the Boss was in rare form, while displaying his typical gracious demeanor.  Lots of elbow rubbing and a good time had by all.  Sal and Rob also report the metro Boston appearance of Radio Birdman last weekend to have been astonishingly good.

...Just in case you missed it, the Braves have now been officially eliminated from the possibility of post season play---busting a 15 year division winning streak that shall never be equaled for the remainder of human history.  Pretty good run guys.

September 14, 2006

...It is indeed fortunate that there is no bell tower in Clarkston.

...Coming off a best ever 27-3 season, the mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University have released their 2006-7 hoops schedule that should produce a similar record, given the dearth of any worthy opponents.  At least last year featured NC State, but this campaign is confined to the continuingly hideous A-10 Conference (unless there is some sleeper of which Suttle World is unaware).  Out of conference opponents include the likes of powerhouses Boston University, Dartmouth, Longwood, Kennesaw State, Providence, Maryland Eastern Shore and Colgate.  The Colonials do match up against USC in Anaheim that will inexplicably by televised on WGN, but the Trojans aren't exactly known for their caging capabilities.  More annoying is that fact that the farthest south the team will travel is to Charlotte to take on A-10 foe UNCC.  Xavier, Dayton and/or Richmond have been known to put a decent squad on the floor  from time to time, so it could be a competitive season, but one Colonial followers would expect to meet with great success.  Also noteworthy is that the geniuses at the A-10 have decided to move the conference tournament away from being a home game(s) for Dayton or Xavier and instead locate the event in Atlantic City this year.  Were Cleveland and Hartford already booked?

September 12, 2006

...Obligatory updates made, and time now to take the proverbial rifle into the fortunately non existent bell tower at GPC.  Yes, time for the Texas Cage Death Match.  Who shall emerge victorious?  Suttle World strongly suggests it shall prevail, but such determinations can be difficult to make when the other party(ies) is/are apparently brain dead.  Updates to come---perhaps on the 6:00 news as Suttle World is led away in handcuffs.  The gentle surfer is advised to stay tuned.

...Suttle World has no idea why its inept staff has made the DUFFLE home page unreadable, but promises to rectify same as soon as possible.

September 12, 2006

...Yesterday's commemorations up to and including the President's address to the nation seemed dignified and appropriate for the fifth anniversary of the most devastating attack against the United States homeland in its history.

...In a ten team league such as DUFFLE, there can be only five winners in any given week, and three of those came from stately Roberts/Suttle Manor during the first week of action as the Mother Tuckers, The Dictators and nephew Ridge's Two Tub Men posted victories, including a most impressive 107 points put up by Ms. Yolanda.  The DUFFLE page is coming along, including current results and standings.  Can draft results be far behind?

...Geez, its taking a lot longer to get the folks at GPC trained than Suttle World anticipated, but their compliance is inevitable, albeit a painstaking endeavor.

...875 miles up the road tonight at Billy Marks (W 30th and 9th Ave) is the CD release party for The Thunderbolts, featuring Dictators JP, Thunderbolt, Patterson and guitar god Ross the Boss.  In addition to the principals, Suttle World is familiar with a number of folks who will be in attendance and serves judicial notice that it hates each for having the opportunity to participate in such a lovely event that will no doubt spill over to the other side of the island at Manitoba's.  Actually, Suttle World extends its best wishes to Sal, Rob, Karen and John---along with others in the Dictators underground that currently escape Suttle World's feeble mind.  Show 'em where you live, Ross!  Most will also be in attendance as JP, Ross, Rispler and the Handsome One himself play two gigs as Handsome Dick Manitoba's Band on 9/17 and 10/6---gigs that Suttle World will also be unable to attend.  You jerks you!

September 11, 2006

...At 8:46 am five years ago today American Airlines flight 11 crashed into the north tower of the World Trade Center in New York City.  At 9:03, United Airlines flight 175 struck the south tower.  At 9:45, American flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, and at 10:10 United flight 93 crashed into a wooded area of Pennsylvania before it could reach its target in Washington, DC.  At 10:05 the south tower collapsed followed by the fall of the north tower at 10:28 am.  A total of 2973 lives were lost in the terrorist attacks on our country.  24 persons remain missing, and presumed dead.

September 10, 2006

...Yes, thank you, SOTD is more than genius.  It is beyond the second standard deviation.

...The two NCAA games that received mention in yesterday's update represent why the Gene, the Caucasian, feature is no longer a regular part of Suttle World.  Its also why Suttle World doesn't wander to the betting cage on any sort of collegiate action.  Do not bet on 19 year olds!  Notre Dame made Penn State look as though its coached by an 80 year old man, while Ohio State handed Texas their ass in Austin last night.  Yeah, hook a cheek on each horn.  Symmetry is a wonderful thing.

...Today the roid raging "grown ups" get the NFL season going, so why stop handing out bad betting advice now?  Suttle World does this as a public service at no cost to the gentle surfer, whereas the "experts" get paid to appear on TV and give out .500/losing picks (you gotta get 3 out of 5 right to come out ahead when accounting for the juice).  Let's really go out on a limb and take the 9:2 paying 5 team, 6 point teaser featuring (net): Tennessee +3 v. the Jets, Detroit +12 v. Seattle, Green Bay +9.5 v. Chicago, Cleveland +3 v. New Orleans and the Giants +9 v. Indianapolis in the battle of the Mannings.  All home teams getting  goodly sized spots.

...One final note from the world of sports.  It is most generous of Tiger to stay away from this week's Canadian Open and allow some of his cohorts to collect a paycheck.  And, no, Woods has nothing to prove in the Ryder Cup---a nice exhibition, but meaningless in the bigger scheme of things.  What was the record of Nicklaus, Palmer, Trevino or Watson in the Ryder Cup?  Don't know?  Neither does anyone else, excepting Nicklaus who will take you through every tedious shot ever struck in his career.

...With all the tremendous concern here in the state of Georgia and elsewhere about the onerous notion of a voter actually having to show some identification upon arrival at a polling place, Suttle World has an even better idea (even better than the trap door and matching intelligence test in the voting booth).  Prior to casting a ballot in another national election, each voter must show proof of having watched or listened to Russert's witness protection program show, stealthily aired again last night on CNBC at 7:00 pm.  The guests were Rahm Emanuel and Ed Gillespie, and served as good an example as there is of there not being an iota of difference between the two major parties.  Both were pandering, intellectually dishonest and prima facie evidence of the real choice voters have when going to the polls being akin to that of paper and plastic.  Its not that Suttle World has any real hope of anything changing.  Some will line up behind the President and the "conservative" Republicans who have increased the size of government by over 25% in the past 6 years, while others will drink the Democrat Kool-Aid and vote for even bigger government.  Suttle World reckons folks get the government they deserve and the $8-10 trillion in debt that comes along with it.  No worry.  Just pass it on to future generations who will gladly toil at an 80+% marginal tax rate.  Mad Max is coming.  Suttle World only regrets that by its calculations, it won't make it long enough to witness the spectacle.

September 9, 2006

...What a concept.  If one runs/jogs every other of the 10 laps that now currently make up the Suttle World morning constitutional, time is reduced, music goes farther and presumably the benefits increase.  No, Mr. Leg isn't any happier, but given that Mr. Leg hasn't been happy for the better part of a decade, the consideration seems hardly worthwhile.  The king of tachycardia returns to action at dawn's early light tomorrow.

...The Tucker Tigers move to 2-0 Friday night with a 27-24 road win over arch rival Marist, the only school to hand Tucker High a regular season loss in the past five years.   Meanwhile the school's administration and support staff still cannot suck enough---each of whom must have honed their skills at the GPC Nursing School of Education Management/Clown College.

...Two games of note on the collegiate gridiron today.  JoePa and the Nittany Lions visit Touchdown Jesus and the Insufferable Irish of Notre Dame at 3:30 (NBC).  The nightcap features the equally tedious #1 Ohio State Inmates visiting #2 Texas at 8:00 (ABC).  Penn State is a 7.5 point dog, and the Longhorns are 2.5-3 point favorites.  Gene, the Caucasian, advises the gentle surfer to eagerly take both.  Hell, put both in a parlay for a bigger payoff.  Penn State may not win, but will keep it close, while Texas should win outright by more than a field goal at home.  Meanwhile, outside the cretinous Dawg Nation, nobody cares about Georgia and South Carolina, unless, of course, the Gamecocks prevail.  The gentle surfer is further advised to continue with past suggested behavior:  close its eyes and just repeat:  "these are institutions of higher learning...these are institutions of higher learning."  One last thing:  AMF Erk---a guy with large testicles who put Georgia Southern on the map and should have put Tracy Hamm in the NFL---an oversight that still dumbfounds Suttle World.

...The page (such as it is) is up and running.  More work is required, but those not familiar with the endeavor, or new ownership, should get some clue of what's been going on in the league---now moving into its fifth glorious season.

September 8, 2006

...Who needs any stinkin' Ben Roethlisberger?  Batch is infinitely easier to spell, and the defending Super Bowl champion Steelers could evidently stick Bob Berry under center in this scheme and enjoy success.  Such was the case in the NFL season opener last night as Pittsburgh swatted away an allegedly Faster and Louder Dolphins team 28-17 with ease, especially through the second half.  And while we're on the gridiron, memo to NBC (and other NFL networks):  back away from the pre-game show.  NOW!  Nobody, repeat nobody, wants to see whomever those lame "acts" that tried to pass themselves off as entertainers.  People tuned in to watch football.  Just run spots for 30 minutes before kickoff.  It would be tremendously more entertaining and draw a bigger number.  And as long as Suttle World is doling out programming advice---memo to CBS:  only 16 people give a damn about the US Open finals as opposed to millions that would watch a 4:00 NFL game this Sunday afternoon.  Suttle World suggests you farm out the tennis to the History Channel (or some other Viacom organ), and stick with the tootsie ball.

...The gentle surfer may have noted that Suttle World has had little comment on news or current events for quite a while.  This phenomena can be explained by the fact that little, if any, real news has happened in the intervening period.  The approach of November's off-year elections should remedy that.  As a preview of coming attractions, noteworthy is that all polling data shows independent candidate, musician, author and all around good Jew Kinky Friedman leading in the Texas governor's race by double digit numbers.  Jesse Ventura was mildly entertaining.  Friedman as head of the Lone Star state is quite another kettle of gefilte fish.

...Is there, in fact, no stopping the cretins from hopping?  Suttle World suggests that is not the case, and invites the gentle surfer to witness the happenings this weekend in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor as evidence of same.

...Suttle World now serves judicial notice that because there are only 15 weeks remaining, there is simply no reason to grip over a course instructor with the underwhelming demeanor, personality and energy level roughly akin to that of a dead flash light battery.

September 7, 2006

...The biggest baddest DUFFLE turnout ever, with 9 of ten owners attending last night's draft at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, and the tenth represented by proxy.  Suttle World has no idea as to whom did well, and who did not; and has not time to contemplate that (or little else) as the data entry must be affected to get the league up and running in ample time for the NFL season opener tonight as Pittsburgh takes on Miami.

...Memo to the Tucker High School administration:  yes, in fact, this is the hill we're willing to die on.  What say you?

...Given the above mentioned assignment and other sundry demands, the updates are once again obligatory and short.  Look for the 2006 DUFFLE page coming soon to a browser near you.

September 6, 2006

...Having made contact with the principals (and via proxy with others that will be involved) it is believed that 10 franchises will gather tonight at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor tonight at 8:00 for the fourth annual Duesenberg United Fantasy Football League of Elvis draft.  And not a moment too soon, in that the NFL (much to the chagrin of fantasy league commissioners everywhere)  once again kicks off this year's campaign with a sole game Thursday night featuring the Roethlisbergerless defending Super Bowl champion Steelers v. Miami in the steel city that no longer produces any steel.  Back in DUFFLE land, defending champion Brent Lovvorn looks to defend his title, as the others look to unseat Brent and return the coveted DUFFLE Cup (we still need a better name guys) to its rightful place on Duesenberg Drive.

...Other updates made.  Things to see.  People to do.  Gotta scoot.  Just bump around with stuff you haven't gotten to deep in the bowels of Suttle World, and, as always, play nice.

September 5, 2006

...Today, ladies and gentlemen, we've got a really big shoo...really big, but outside the realm of Suttle World, so quick and to the point.  The usual updates are made, and we'll rely on trusty correspondents for the rest of today's "news."  And, yes, SOTD is genius.

...In a bit of housekeeping---the DUFFLE draft tentatively scheduled for tonight remains uncertain.  All owners are asked to please report their availability for same by contacting the Commissioner here ASAP.

...First, from the soon to be great frozen north, comes the Lady Solons of Montpelier High School in the Green Mountain State.  Pops Waring quite rightfully weighs in with an update about the major contribution made by daughter Katlin in their win last Friday.  Story here, courtesy of our friends at the Times-Argus.  Can a state title be far behind?

...Finally, comes yet another update from Texas.  Yes, boys and girls, its another installment of  Enjoy.

September 4, 2006

...And a happy Labor Day to the gentle surfer---a holiday Suttle World has always found ironic in that most everyone does not go to work.  And if its Labor Day, Jerry Lewis, God bless his tedious insufferable heart, must be at it again.  This year marks the 40th annual MDA telethon that has raised $1.35 billion that would appear to be headed in the right direction in terms of bang for the buck.  Pledges last year were down 8% to $54 million---an anomaly that was blamed on the donor fatigue created in the aftermath of Katrina.  Also interesting to Suttle World is the event's continuing success in the face of seeming apathy from network affiliate stations---now relegated to the UHF/independent drops on the TV dial.  Regardless, lots o bucks for sick kids---what's not to like?  The national donation number is 800-631-0685 or via the web at www.mda.org . 

...Belated props to the AJC (the worst major daily "newspaper" in the country) for last week's story further documenting the Tasmanian cluster fuck that is city of Atlanta government.  Not exactly Woodward and Bernstein work, but the paper did do a decent job in documenting a litany of former city of Atlanta officials who have or are serving jail time for malfeasance in office and still collecting hefty pensions.  Take the illustrious mayor Bill Campbell, please, who began serving his three years of federal time two weeks ago and is collecting a nifty $3k+ a month for his "service" to the city.  Can any gentle surfer give any reason why the city of Atlanta should exist as a separate governmental entity?  Perhaps its corruption such as this, along with high taxes, an outrageous number of government employees and pumping thousands of gallons of raw sewage into the Chattahoochee every day that keeps the citizens happy.

...Any gentle surfer who missed Andre Agassi's swan song yesterday at the US Open missed a truly touching moment in sports that wasn't shrouded in roids (no, cortisone shots to alleviate back pain don't count), violence or 2nd grade elocution.  From snotty brat to elder poster child for tennis and sportsmanship in general, Agassi is a class act, despite retiring from a dying sport.

...A belated farewell to two luminaries who escaped this mortal coil last week:  Nellie Connolly and Bob Mathias.  Mrs. Connolly, of course, was the lone survivor of those riding in the limo through Dealey Plaza in 1963, and was a gracious a woman in the face of that tragedy and an insufferably corrupt husband.  Bob Mathias only won two Olympic gold medals (when that actually had some significance) and then went on to serve four terms in the House---an institution well below his pay grade.

...And much like the MDA telethon, Georgia's Darwin award tote board continues to click along---weeding out the less fit/"hey, watch this" crowd that a holiday weekend always affords.  Check back for a full accounting, including this year's most creative demise, tomorrow.

September 3, 2006

...Memo to the University of North Carolina football program:  if you can't beat Rutgers (the most miserable collegiate football school since Cumberland) at home, then just turn out the lights, lock the doors and send the immense budget over to the medical school for an indigent care program or some such.  There is no reason to carry forward.  The good news is 15 miles down the road at Duke, where the pencil necked geek crowd has hope for their one win of the season come late November.  When does basketball season start?  Meanwhile, George Washington remains undefeated.

...Props to Tech for proving Suttle World wrong and covering in their near upset of over ranked #2 Notre Dame last night.  Calvin Johnson may well be the best wide out in college ball this year, making 7 catches for 111 yards for the Yellow Jackets in a game through which Suttle World slept.

...A good time was had by all before, during and after yesterday's christening of niece Sophia at All Saints in unrecognizable Dunwoody.  The Suttle World official, standard, government issue funeral suit has been returned to its upright and locked position, having been drug out of the closet much more than anticipated this year.

September 2, 2006

...Little to bring as the Labor Day weekend begins.  Suttle World did have a passing interest in playing a parlay card given all the pundit's speak of close games involving ranked teams on the first Saturday of NCAA football action, but finds the lines to be less generous than expected.  Sure Tech could give Notre Dame a run for its money, but 7 points is simply not enough for a team that lost its last three regular season games and was crushed by Utah in a bowl game to end the 2005 campaign.  Tennessee/Cal and USC/Arkansas pose similar situations.  Simply not enough points being spotted to make it an attractive wagering opportunity.  Meanwhile, as Tech opens against the vaunted Fighting Irish, 60 miles away in Athens, UGA makes its prototypical opener against the Sisters of Charity/NW Idaho State/South Dakota Polytech...  An interesting prop bet now available is who will live longer, the current Uga or Larry Munson---a seemingly nice enough guy, but also one who doesn't call a ball game any better than Helen Keller.

September 1, 2006

...Although the weather won't break for at least another couple weeks, Suttle World is delighted to officially announce the end of August---an insufferable month that should simply be deleted from the calendar.  September comes in like a slimy reptile, but at least there is hope in sight.

...September also brings with it two rather interesting music "festivals."  The first begins tonight at the vaunted Starlight Drive In (Atlanta's lone remaining auto theater).  The headliner is Blue Oyster Cult (such as it is) tomorrow night, and it sounded rather tempting to Suttle World until discovering the nice folks on Moreland Avenue wanted $30 for the privilege.  Thanks, but not thanks.  Its only $50 for the entire weekend and includes overnight camping---a doubly troubling turn of events, given BOC will take the stage Saturday night after the local yokels have had 48 hours of non stop Old Milwaukee consumption.  This is not good.  The more encouraging of the two events is a stop by Little Steven's Underground Garage Rock and Roll Show at the Variety Playhouse in Little Five Points on the 27th.  Its a multi band affair, headlined by none other than the original lineup of the Zombies (yeah, Ronnie Argent and everything).  Suttle World has already sent email to one Handsome Dick Manitoba, of Dictators and Underground Garage/Sirius Radio fame, indicating that he, Ross the Boss and JP should plan on making the Atlanta stop---an event about as likely as Suttle World mastering quantum physics.

...DUFFLE is up and running.  Owners have been notified, and the draft is tentatively scheduled for either next Tuesday or Wednesday night.  Details to follow.  A tenth owner is still being solicited.  Contact Suttle World for further information.

...Topic of the day is asepsis---a subject near and dear to Suttle World's heart, or at least its right distal fibula region that still looks like a regurgitated visit to Burger King 8 years after the nice folks at Northside were kind enough to inoculate a heaping helping of staphylococcus aureus into same.  But, no big deal---what's missing nearly a decade of productive life between friends?

...Comair has offered an initial $25k to the families of those lost in the crash in Lexington last Sunday morning in what may well be the most idiotic fatal accident in the history of commercial aviation.  Suttle World advises folks being offered the money to run, not walk, to the bank in the hopes the check clears.  The same goes for any settlement offer that may come your way.  Factor in the attorney's take and the distinct possibility of bankruptcy in the interceding years of litigation, and, well, you get the point.  A few thousand in the bank is worth more than chasing after a defunct carrier.

   
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