Archives---August, 2005

August 31, 2005

...Smart ass Suttle goes on indefinite hold...the images and words coming from the gulf coast are incomprehensible.  Catastrophic is simply not adequate.  This is the greatest devastation ever wrought on this country.  Nobody has any idea of how many are dead, and while it may not initially exceed that of September 11, 2001, when pathogens finally finish ravaging the area, the death toll may actually be higher.  An American city is being completely evacuated for the first time in the history of the Republic (residents of DC in 1812 may disagree, but this is not the time to split historic hairs), and the economic fallout is going to be worse than Suttle World initially envisioned 48 hours ago.  $3/gallon gas will be nostalgic soon---the pipelines are closed, with no return to operation in sight.  Its not the end of the world as we know it, but the apocalyptic crowd may advertise it as preview of coming attractions. 

...The Braves will play some team at some time somewhere today.  Consult a different local listing.

August 30, 2005

...At least 55 fatalities and counting---most along the Mississippi Gulf Coast as Katrina did a drop, skip and jump to the east, sparing New Orleans their first ever direct encounter with a major hurricane.  Worst hit by the last minute shift was the Alabama and Mississippi coasts where news reports this morning show legions of blue haired women aimlessly wandering the storm ravaged streets desperately searching for vending machines or coin slots of any sort into which to drop nickels.  Obviously, if you're in the trades (carpentry, plumbing, glazing, electrical, etc...) you can double your annual income with a jaunt to the shore over the Labor Day weekend.  For those such as myself who have difficulty remembering which end of the hammer to hold, there's still a big money making opportunity.   Get two rolls of quarters and fill up the car.  Drive to Biloxi, set up near the water, put a few coins in your mouth and stand motionless, extending your right arm, flexing your forearm at a 90° angle.  Just wait.  Soon the aforementioned blue hairs will be lined up to drop coins at your feet just to pull your arm.  Spit out a few quarters every now and then and everybody's happy.  My guess is that you could take in $5k easily over a couple of days for a $20 investment in change and some gasoline.

...On a more serious note, Katrina was indeed a catastrophic event for hundreds of thousands of folks in the region.  The human suffering and heroism is moving.  That being said, let's see what happens next.  A hypothesis:  the speed to which life returns to normal will be directly effected by the nature or absence of "price gouging" laws in the states hit hardest.  Gouging is defined as one paying more than one wishes for any given good or service, regardless of the circumstances under which those goods or services are delivered.  If Alabama and Mississippi law is similar to Florida, folks along the coast can hurry up and wait.  Feeling altruistic, well then try this:  rent a truck; head to Home Depot and load that sucker with every generator in the store.  Drive to the gulf coast and sell the generators out of the back of your rental for $75 more than you paid to maybe break even, especially if you count your bail money and eventual fine.  Bottom line:  "gouging laws" cause Smith's invisible hand to bitch slap those most in need who would gladly pay more for what they demand---as in supply and demand.  Rants regarding FEMA and federal flood insurance can wait for a less devastating event, though the principles are the same. 

...Take three...Braves rained out last night (by my recollection only the second game postponed in the history of the Ted), with a twin bill scheduled today against the Nationals.  This turn of events somewhat corrects Suttle World's erroneous take of yesterday that attempted to correct an erroneous take about this series the previous week.  The moral of the story:  vision impaired folks should use corrective eye wear when scanning schedules so that the current month may be consulted, as opposed to say, oh, July.  

August 29, 2005

...20% of the population of New Orleans did not evacuate.  That's going to make for some tough work for the Darwin Awards Committee this year.  A quick review of this august organization's web site does not reveal any previous awards given to groups, rather only individuals who have been conscripted by nature's selective service administration, but with only 10 years under their belt, Jonestown preceded the prize.  With Katrina making landfall at this writing, there's a lot left to sort out, but judicial notice is now served that Suttle World preemptively nominates most all fatalities in the Crescent City and its surrounds when the mud settles.

...On the economic side of the ledger, this may well be the big one.  Refineries in and around New Orleans handle about 30% of the crude coming into this country.  With capacity already at 100%, look for $3.00 gas (averaging about $2.50/gallon at present in the ATL----Georgia has the lowest state gas tax in the country, that's why) by Labor Day.  At this writing, crude is up over $3/barrel to $68+, and that's only the beginning.  See boys and girls, those amber waves of grain will be harvested in the next month or so and all of it heads down the mighty Mississippi for what used to be the port of New Orleans.  So look forward to burning your $3+/gallon gas to run to the grocery store for your $4 loaf of bread.  Memo to Andrea Mitchell:  please make sure hubby Big Al takes his medication.  The aforementioned rising prices are the result of an act of God not the money supply.  Another increase in the Fed's fund rate is not called for now or anytime in the near future, thank you.  As an aside, as long as one can fill up at Texaco cheaper than one can fill up at Starbuck's, the gentle surfer will find few complaints from Suttle World regarding the price of gasoline.  Enjoy that $5/gallon Dasani (4 liter bottles x $1.25/ea).

...The Braves win two series on the road and bring a four game divisional lead back home to face the dreaded Washington Nationals for their final series of the season beginning Tuesday night---a match up erroneously announced on this page for last week.  Tuesday and Wednesday 2 for 1 tix are gone, but the 4 person package deals (including a parking pass) are still available, and an excellent deal.  We're good for two.  Others email to get in.

August 28, 2005

...This is the big one!  New Orleans is coming to see you Elizabeth!  I vaguely recall Camille, and the nearly 300 lives she took in '69, but excepting perhaps Andrew of over 10 years ago, this is the first category 5 storm to threaten the US in the era of Super Doppler Pinhead Radar.  Katrina is rather photogenic---already a category 5 at this writing with sustained winds of 150 MPH and still over twenty-four hours of warm water to fuel it before landfall tomorrow evening.  At that point, barometric pressure in the storm will have dropped below 900 mb---the lowest reading ever recorded was 892 mb, and Katrina has only that to beat to become to strongest hurricane in the history of modern meteorology.  When the founding members of the Hillbilly Dictators Jihad schlepped to New Orleans for our first ever visit for the purpose of our first ever viewing of the world's greatest rock n roll band several years ago, we enjoyed 3 of the 7 pleasant days (weather wise) the Big Easy has in any given year; but even with the crisp spring air and clear skies, I was somehow always mindful of being below sea level.  Real time audio of New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin's evacuation orders---click here.

...The new and improved Suttle World is truly underway!!!  The gentle surfer should expect a beta version by the end of the Labor Day weekend.

August 27. 2005

...Well we decided to call it off and make a run at next weekend.  The delay is not necessarily due to, but coincidental to a weekend visit from nephew Ridge---an always welcome addition.

...Just realized I have overlooked a follow up to DUFFLE folks as we attempt to arrange this year's draft.  Email to all coming, but Yahoo emailed yesterday to answer my question regarding online draft settings, and, no, we cannot change to 90 second clock.  I'm going to suggest that we continue in a non Yahoo on line and telephone confab where owners not present can utilize a Yahoo chat room, IRC or the like.  Again, details to come. 

...Endocrinologists are from a different planet---an issue worthy of further study by us lesser humanoids.

August 26, 2005

...The boss says its on, so I reckon its on for tomorrow, Saturday, August 27.  Click on the logo for details.  The remainder of this graph is to see how the Google ads at the top of the page respond.  Last week, when the event was cancelled, a listing of the several "big ticket" items for sale caused the ads to feature appliance repair and sales, etc... for over a week.  So here are some of the samplings we may not have for sale:  mummified Rhesus monkeys, black tar Mexican heroin,  Elvis toenail clippings, prosthetic genitalia and Chief Justice William Rehnquist.  Now let's see how the Google folks handle those items.

...You learn something new everyday, especially if you pay for the privilege.  In the realm of microbiology there exists a classification of little critters classified as Archaea.  These single celled buggers exist only in rather hostile environments where one would not expect to find life forms like in salt mines, undersea volcanoes with temps approaching 2000° F and in front of Walter Reed Army Hospital.

August 25, 2005

...No word of any damage nor loss of life or limb from the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite office, despite being located a mere 50 miles south of Hot Springs, NC---the epicenter of a 3.8 earthquake that shook the region shortly after 11:00 last night. Aside from being a bit unusual for that neck of the woods, attempts to find info regarding the tremor online provided the true amusement.  All roads lead to the vaunted Associated Press, that actually ran this short story of the event on their own wire:

                (AP) A magnitude three-point-eight earthquake rattled homes in North Carolina,      Tennessee and Georgia but appeared to have caused little serious damage. The U.S. Geological Survey's National Earthquake Information Center says the minor quake, which hit at 11:09 last night, was centered about two miles southeast of Hot Springs, North Carolina, in Madison County, 25 miles north of Asheville. Rocks crashed down onto North Carolina 209 in Madison County, but the road remained open. In the Laurel community, the quake damaged the foundation of a mobile home and it tossed dishes and pictures off walls in some Yancey County homes. Tiawana Ramsey, an earthquake planner for the North Carolina Division of Emergency Management, says the quake shook houses as far as Athens, Georgia. The Southeast has scores of faults, the most famous of which is the Brevard Fault, which runs through the eastern edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains. (08/25/05 @ 05:15AM)

The gentle surfer will note the mention of damage to the "foundation of a mobile home"---a bit on the oxymoronic side for my taste in that, by definition, mobile homes do not have foundations.  Yes, it is understood many folks take the wheels off their double wides and plant them firmly upon a concrete pad or some sort, but at that point the dwelling would seem to cease to be mobile (tornado activity excluded).  Another eye catcher is the title associated with Ms. Ramsey---"earthquake planner."  Now there's a job for me.  No, I don't have any real experience in planning earthquakes, but somehow I think my learning curve would be relatively short.  Reckon after assuming this position it will be necessary to join the National Association of Earthquake Planners.  Wonder where they hold their annual convention; and the seminars/panel discussions would be fascinating.  "In Missouri, we've found mid May to be a perfect time to plan an earthquake."  "An excellent idea," chimes in the earthquake planner from Oklahoma, "but we're going to plan ours around the traditional lighting of the downtown Christmas Tree to kick start the holiday shopping season."  Now the phrase "scores of faults" would be rather clever if the writer had a clue that it was punny, but 4 out of 5 earthquake planners don't believe that to be the case.

...Pat, Pat, Pat...don't back down now.  Reverend Robertson need not apologize for his remarks, instead be proactive and follow Suttle World's advice from yesterday and lead the charge against Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.  If you succeeded , bravo!  If not, we'll more than likely name a stretch of road for you here in the ATL.  See, boys and girls metro Atlanta has a very strict protocol with regard to naming roads.  Each must have two names.  The first, or official (as in listed on the map) name must follow several rules:  1) The road/street name must include the word peachtree, ferry and/or bridge.  2)  At least 8 other roads in the metro area must have the identical name.  3)  The road must change names abruptly for no apparent reason.  Once those prerequisites have been met then the second or honorary name is applied.  From interstate highway to pig path, every thoroughfare must be named for some "dignitary"---dead or alive.  I'm guessing the stretch of asphalt to be named for Robertson will abut the Larry McDonald Freeway (I-75 around the north side)---not to be confused with the Cynthia McKinney Parkway (and they ask me why I don't own a gun).

August 24, 2005

...Gee, its got to be a quarter century since judicial notice was served regarding Pat Robertson being little more than a source for amusement.   Many wavering on the issue were convinced when the hurricane was "prayed" away from the coast of Virginia; but his present notoriety may actually have some merit.  There will be no tears shed at Suttle World should Hugo Chavez not come down for breakfast tomorrow morning.  Of course, this is in reference to Robertson's remarks this week endorsing a U.S. sponsored assassination against the Venezuelan  president.  The one problem with the plan is that its illegal, but if done in a clandestine manner, who's really worse for the wear other than Chavez?  And if its a covert operation that's need, Suttle World has the answer:  funnel some money and arms Robertson's way and let him lead the mission.  Come to think of it, most any long term undercover assignment for the right reverend would work, regardless of its aim.

...Is there anyone out there, regardless of bias, who is willing to discuss this crazy little thing called war sans the lame and predictable jingoisms that are now in play?  Sure, its a whacky notion, but it might just be a refreshing change of pace as summer makes its typical stretch run through the end of August and first half of September in these here parts.  "War is not the answer" and "support our troops" bumper sticker transporting individuals need not apply.

August 21, 2005

...Nothing like stepping out on the porch at sunrise with coffee in hand and breathing in a deep lung or two full of 78° air saturated with 87% of the water vapor possible under such conditions to get one's day off to a stifling start.  We surrender.  Scoreboard!:  Nature 1 Humans 0.  August, second only to February in length, the most useless of the several months.

...Geraldo filled in some blanks, but to the incredible pizza delivery bomber aficionado, last night's hour long (actually about 20 minutes crammed into an hour) "in depth" look at the weirdest crime of the ages was far from satisfying.  Geraldo's take is that it all points back to the serial widow, but we are left without a motive and as to why Wells (exploded pizza delivery dude)  was chosen and for what purpose.  We appreciate Geraldo and the nice folks at Fox for keeping this story on the radar screen.  What would be even nicer would be to make some sense of this bizarre incident.

...Nats make their last their last trip through town later this week (Mon-Thu; all 7:35).  Any takers?  Hell, with the current sale in effect, $125 could cover round trip air, METRO money, an Ollie and ticket to RFK (including taxes, fees, etc...).  Find a Tuesday or Wednesday matinee and your in business.

August 20, 2005

...Long story short, a Gala requires more than 48 hours to put together, ergo, has been postponed until next Saturday, August 27.  More details to follow.

August 19, 2005

...Big news in the hood...The long promised is on for tomorrow.  Appliances (freezer, fridge/freezer and electric range---ugly but working), a lovely 1988 Acura Accord, lovely home furniture and furnishings, grills, marginal electronic gear.  Its a must see event right out in the driveway at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.  Email for more info. 

...Another quickie ($5 Father, same as in town) as Suttle World anguishes over its new do...Those scratching their heads as to why the Sheehan woman's story got any legs:  its called payback.  Evidently one of the several reason the President enjoys visiting the ranch is to be a pain in the ass to the White House press corps.  Word has it Crawford affords few amenities, especially for the "inside the Beltway crowd."  The moral of the story is if you want your 15 minutes now, hurry to Texas and set up camp across from the ranch in Crawford.  Midget transvestites against rising waffle iron prices?---no problem:  the all missing pretty white girl news networks will point their cameras squarely at you.

...Errr...The Fair Tax book was the biggest selling title (fiction or non-fiction) in the country last week.  MSRP is $25.   Amazon is $16.50 with free shipping if you run your tab up to $25. Often overlooked (and often for good reason) Overstock.com lists it at $14.82 with their traditional 1$/item shipping.  Brother Bill also advises of Overstock's plethora of $1CDs (that's $2 a throw with s&h boys and girls).  Lots of obscure and awful titles, but well worth the shlep through a few pages at that kind of "we must be crazy" price.

...Poker game anybody?  Seriously, its too hot and/or raining to play outside.  Games galore at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor for that matter.

August 18, 2005

...Upgrades in progress and an apt time given little goings on at present.  Usual suspects updated.  Memo to Ariel:  will try to get by to help you pack if at all possible.  With the all missing white girl news networks at the ready, its hard to imagine this cabinet surviving today's broadcast images.

August 17, 2005

...Short and sweet again this morning.  Re-tooling effort underway.  Just a few quickies:  this coming from ahead to lose in the ninth inning is getting old...Geraldo takes an in depth look into the Erie, PA incredible exploding pizza delivery bank robber dude Sunday at 10:00 pm...Suttle World is more pro Israel than many Israeli's, but punting on the settlements has always seemed like a good bargaining chip, that when combined with the wall, poses limited security risks.  This, of course, ignores the whacky internal politics of Israel.  Uhmm, I'll take Benjamin Netanyahu for $1000 please, Alex. 

August 16, 2005

...Props to Phil for major #2; winning at 4 UNDER!  Now stop the golf.  No, not the gentle surfer---play year round should your clime permit, rather the PGA.  Stop it now.  A nice quiet three month hiatus would do the game well.  Wake me for the Crosby.

August 15, 2005

...Rumor has it some jerk with a tedious web site said that he'd gladly take -4 in the club house early.  Depending on conditions this morning for the completion of the PGA's final round, that would appear to be the score to beat.  Yes, CBS will preempt the Price is Right or some such to broadcast the finish beginning at 10:00 (EDT).

...Wiffle Atlanta finishes its 2005 effort with a great pick up game yesterday afternoon.  Props to buddy Jordan for keeping things up and going. '06 should be much Faster and Louder.

...It never gets old.  Today marks the 27th year the late summer morning quite has been broken by a yellow bus destined for compulsory government education that I didn't have to get on.  There is little doubt in my mind that sense of satisfaction will wane on the 47th time around, assuming I'm around to enjoy same.

August 14, 2005

...Suttle World says Nerf football and carries forth with a little Googling/research.  The first item of import is one that I can't believe flew under the radar screen early in '04.  Of course, this involves the great Nerf football recall.  Didn't SNL do a bit about this 30 years ago?  Second, there just isn't much/anything out there regarding 3 on 3 play.  Suggestions welcome.

...Keeping in the football vein, it would appear as though we have a full cast of characters as DUFFLE 2005 quickly approaches.  A faster and louder version of the page is promised for this season, though Yahoo appears to do a pretty decent job keeping on top of things.  Wednesday, September 7 has been mentioned by a few as a preferred date for this year's draft, and it would appear as though stately Roberts/Suttle Manor will host the affair.  More info heading owners way this afternoon as I put together a mailing regarding he '05 season that excepting a small change in the cast of characters would appear to be the same as the previous.  Yo mentions the possibility/desirability/necessity of expanding.  If so, moving to 12 teams can be done seamlessly.  More to come.

...Hell, let's remain on the old grid iron for a while.  Much like baseball enjoys an anti-trust exemption, it is Suttle World's firm belief there also exists an obscure federal regulation that requires each professional sports league to do at least one big stupid thing.  Despite the occasional anal retentive thing and my personal pet peeve of tweaking the rules too often in reaction to the previous season, the NFL has generally done the best job in handling its business---EXCEPT THESE IDIOTIC PRE SEASON GAMES!!!!  Stop the madness, now!  Make the regular season 18 games if you want the gate, but the only folks who care about these boring freak shows are the guys getting rolled off fields in golf carts with career ending injuries.  Let's not loose sight of the prime directive here:  "First, be no Mit)h."

...Also in the hop, skip and jump department, Wiffle Atlanta will be appropriately weather challenged on this the final Sunday of its inaugural season.  Forecast for 4:00 is not promising.  Gonna check the weather log.  Including today, there have been 16 Sundays since the beginning of May.  I'd set the over/under around 11 for the number of those days in which rain has played a role.  Still, props to Commissioner Jordan for doing the best under very trying circumstances.  Personally, a second place finish for the Gorf Rats is more than satisfactory, especially considering our only two losses came against the just champeen Braves.  Also noteworthy is that grandpa pitched both of those games and we made every other effort to give both away elsewhere as well.  Still our young flat bellied competitors were indeed the best the league had to offer this year.  Your all star team consists of Andrew, Lynn, Luke, Grant and Jordan.

...Oh yeah, the PGA.  And I thought 65 was sick.  Bjorn going 63 is ape shit and beyond.  Logic would tend to favor Maidenform spokesman Phil.  He's long and can get up and down as well as anyone in the game---a necessity for Baltusrol, especially today.  Also noteworthy is that Tiger is "not dead yet."  Another 66, and I'd take my chances at -4 in the clubhouse with an iced tea, as the leaders linger in the 101° Jersey wonderland shooting at Sunday pen placements.  Leader board here.

August 13, 2005

...PGA...All those who still have questions as to why we don't wager on golf please raise your hands.  65 on this track is sick, and with the expectation that conditions will only get tougher over the weekend, this is now Phil's championship to lose.  And every hacker dreams of being able to play a track on which a major was contested, right?  Not me coach.  I don't even want a whiff of Baltusrol.  Sure they trick it up for a major, but those bunkers surrounding elevated greens aren't temporary.  I don't have the stamina to make the 140 strokes that would be necessary to get around this course under normal conditions which is what it would appear to be necessary for the average player.  Should be a fun weekend, and one I shall savor before beginning the annual rant of how golf should cease and desist after Sunday afternoon.

...Those in the ATL who didn't get the memo:  stay off 285 this weekend on the top end.  Construction has reduced the "highway" to Friday rush hour status for the entire weekend.

...This just in:  Supreme Court nominee John Roberts was issued a parking ticket in a small Iowa town in 1974.  The exact same town where a resident once watched the 700 Club for two minutes while surfing channels.  Ah Ha!

...Wiffle Atlanta is prepared for the final play of the impromptu inaugural season tomorrow.  Given the problems with the weather, things have gone pretty well, and provides sets up a pretty solid platform from which to launch the 2006 season on a Faster and Louder level.  In the meantime, three on three Nerf football is a logical extension as autumn approaches.  Loading dock scouting to begin soon.

...Word from buddy and The Dictators web maven Karen leads us to some Shernoff remarks in Billboard recently.  Seems as though he's going to put together and release some rather obscure Dictators stuff in the coming year.  Details here.  Brain Surgery tonight in Chicago at the Abbey Pub.

August 12, 2005

...Debuting at #1 on the New York Times non-fiction best seller list with a bullet this week is your typical tax policy tome.  Taxes, specifically the federal income tax???!  #1???!  Yes brother Boortz and Congressman Linder are actually into their third printing of the Fair Tax only two weeks after its release.  Of course, Suttle World has been a huge proponent of the Fair Tax Plan since long before these tedious takes have been published for public consumption, and it is most gratifying to see folks flocking to this truly revolutionary concept.  Perhaps its just preaching to the choir, but maybe, just maybe, rational folks will at least lend consideration to what amounts to the economic salvation for our Republic.  The Fair Tax is the economic penicillin for the currently colonized, but soon to be raging, infections that fester across the fruited plane.  In a rare serious moment, Suttle World is begging you to check it out.  It's only 16.50 at Amazon (direct link).  Bring home your entire paycheck and make April 15th just another lovely spring day.  Linder's bill is in the hopper.  www.fairtax.org 

August 11, 2005

...Hurry to the windows by sunrise or you'll be shut out on action for this year's PGA scheduled to tee off shortly thereafter.  My sports book (betgameday.com) now lists Tiger at 5:2!  This  now officially sets the prohibitive favorite bar to a new level.

...Crude approaches $65.00 a barrel this morning and life continues to press ahead in a manner to which we have become accustomed.  No doubt some of that price can to attributed to speculators, but even the most cynical don't peg that amount at greater than $10-15 a barrel.  That leaves oil roughly 60% greater than that to which we had become accustomed---a function of increasing worldwide demand and a stagnate supply.  No problem, says the finely honed economic mind of the gentle surfer, just pump more of the stuff out of the ground.  Capital idea---may I suggest Alaska, the Gulf of Mexico and Kazakhstan for starters, but even if the wells begin gushing black gold today there's another problem.  See boys and girls we haven't put a new refinery on line in this country since 1978.  And yes, we'll gladly lease the north 40 of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor for the project.  The best I can figure, you navigate the oil tankers down the Chattahoochee and then up Sweetwater Creek.  You're still going to need a rather long piece of hose, but its a start.  Just trying to do our part. 

...Timing, of course, is everything, and in this case, all the pieces seem to be falling into place just right.  Having heard from our good friend Mr. Bass yesterday, the calendar would seem to be set up correctly for our hero to now have ample time to clean out his Post Office Box, return the leased IBM Selectric and still have time to hone up on his broom and mop skills for an anticipated big career move that should coincide with the start of 2006.  We greatly appreciate the amusement value of your efforts to date and wish you nothing but success in your new line of work.

...Rumor has it that stately Roberts/Suttle Manor favorite and newly conscripted government school worker, Shannon Dollar, will possibly relocate her educating efforts to nearby lovely Tucker Middle School for the coming academic year that starts in less than two weeks.

...Quick shout out to new neighbor Kim who was kind enough to stop by yesterday, introduce herself and extend an invite to her house warming soiree planned for August 20.  Neighborhood sources indicate Kim to be on the Duesenberg Seal of Approval fast track.

...A duck, midget and rabbi walk into a bar...

August 10, 2005

...Quick update of the usual suspects (date and SOTD) and then out the door for morning activities.  PGA starts tomorrow morning with Tiger a freakin 12:5 favorite.  Has anyone ever been listed at lower odds in a full field PGA event, much less a major?  Sure, Suttle World likes Woods' chances a much as anyone else, but the wallet doesn't, unless its buying a two dollar ticket for the memorabilia value.  

August 9, 2005

...Back at the helm following a weekend chock full o fun, albeit somewhat dampened literally by the rainfall which appeared to effect this neck of the woods even more so over the weekend.  And despite the fact that the Putt Putt was rain shortened, the second round of real golf Sunday was rained out entirely and we never got around to the video golf event, the First Annual Peachtreee Old Fart Golf Classic was a smashing success.  As opposed to a blow by blow account (given this was a stag event, perhaps play by play would serve as a better metaphor so as to not lend concern to spouses and the like), a few highlights and an attempt to capture the appropriate esprit d corps.  First, a big thank you to Mumsie for the use of the yet to be named Flat Rock, NC retreat.  All were pleased with the superior accommodations.  Props to cuzin Paul for making the long shlep at the end of yet another long week of travel and work.  Props to cuzin Bill for his remarkable play that had 20 years of dust on it.  Props to cuzin Moke for playing through the events that were completed in spite of continuing back troubles.  And props to all for achieving the prime objective:  having fun.  It just don't get any better than a relaxing evening of putting together the LP collection for deserted island deal; trying to deduce the year of a Zombies' hit, knowing Ronnie Argent's solo hit (Hold Your Head High---hideous) was 1971 or 72; watching the Holy Grail for the 123rd time to reaffirm "the violence inherent in the system;" and other such inconsequential bullshit that added up to lots of yucks and fine fellowship.  Oh, and the winner is:  nobody---a charitable deference from Waring and Moke given the leader board headed into Sunday's rained out final round.  Cuzin Paul suggests a shift to the Green Mountain State for next year's event.  Works for me---just need to set a date sooner rather than later so folks will know when to by cheap air fare (Burlington goes on sale for as little as $110-125 r/t from time to time).  Pics now up.

...Also props are in order for the world's greatest wife, Yolanda, for keeping Suttle World up and going in my absence.  

...Little to add to the above referenced spouse's take on the untimely death of Peter Jennings.  He checks out with an obit that seems to distance him from the usual biased drone heard so frequently from the inside the Beltway and NYC big media crowd.

...Delighted the Discovery crew is bumping around on the planet again (of their own accord), but it would be a stretch to call this mission a success.  Putting a human into orbit and returning him safely to earth was really cool 40 years ago.  Aside form successfully docking with the international space station (the purpose of which when ultimately completed is still unclear)---a fete mastered some 35 years ago, sending folks up to affect repairs to the space craft to allow it to successfully return hardly seems like an accomplishment in the moving upward and onward department.

...Snopes alert!  Cuzin Bill is the source for this discovery.  Won't call anybody out, but email forwarded last week reported Mars would be very close to the earth and appear moon sized in the late August night.  Its a hoax---an odd hoax, but untrue nonetheless.

August 8, 2005

...RIP Peter Jennings, Mr. Jennings left this mortal coil late yesterday after a fairly brief battle with late diagnosis lung cancer.  Smoking is stupid.

POFGC called due to weather, everyone leaves a big winner, sounds like a commie plot to me.

It's Monday, I'm not creative.  Have a good day.  Mr. Suttle may be back at the helm in the AM, itinerary currently in limbo.

August 7, 2005

...First, a big Happy Birthday to niece, Gwyneth, who turns 5 on Tuesday.  Heard the party at Jumpin' Joes was a hit with all the "in" crowd.

They must be having a good time (my ill-timed phone calls aside) at the POFGC because the communications are slim.  In fact it is awfully quiet out there Slim, too quiet. Sure hope the house is still standing.

The latest communique´ indicates that Keith "the Moke" Schoeman did indeed make his predicted move yesterday and is now securely in second place.  There have been promises of a score sheet as well as a call to provide our dear readers more specific details of the standings, however, said documentation has been short in coming so we will make due with the following:

According to the two sentence missive received this AM, the competition is still anybody's to win, however, currently the board reads as follows:

First place, Paul "Bubs" Waring, second, Keith "the Moke" Schoeman, third "Champagne Gino" Suttle, and pulling up the rear, Bill "the Thrill" Swartzberg.

Speaking of thrills, Bill, I spent the night with the phone by my bed, where was that 2:00 AM wake-up call?  Promises, promises.

On to other items.  All you folks in Memphis, head on over to the Hi Tone Cafe this evening to catch Ross with The Brain Surgeons. 

Its Sunday, its wet, its early, I'm gone.

August 6, 2005

...Greetings from Stately Roberts-Suttle Manor.  Yeah folks, I know it's late, blame it on the karaoke, cocktails and cigarettes (i.e. a night out with the girls at lovely downtown Tucker's latest alternative club).  Note to Tucker's nouveau transvestites, a wig does not a woman make!  Try a little waxing, practice with the make-up, some fake boobs, and, shave, boys, shave!!  As to the more experienced among you, take these guys aside and give 'em some pointers. Take them on a field trip to midtown and point out the good looking hookers.  As I used to advise visitors to my home there, if they are hot, they are men, if they are so-so, they are women.  Words to live by all you conventioneers.  This aside, all in all, a very nice club, glad to see it thriving, lots of good fun had by all.

Now, for the Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic update.

Paul "Bubs" Waring is whipping up on "Champagne Gino" and the boys.  He began this mop up with a stellar one under par 71 in a lightening shortened 36 hole tourney held at the authentic Putt Putt in lovely Spartanburg, SC, no windmills for these guys.  Worthy of note, "Champagne Gino" Suttle and Bill "The Thrill" Swartzberg tied for the most aces with 5 each.  The fact that this also means they had to throw in quite a few bogies to have Mr. Waring with his 1 under par come in first will go unmentioned, NOT!!!

With the first round of the Old Fart Classic prematurely terminated, our intrepid golfers loaded up their putters, left behind the brightly colored balls and bright orange lined greens to complete the trek to their final destination, my most gracious mother-in-law's still unnamed (to the best of my knowledge) mountain retreat in lovely Flat Rock, NC.  Here they began their undaunted quest for more embarrassment by undertaking a skins game on a well lit but foggy Par 3 course.  Due to middle-age eyesight, darkness and the aforementioned fog, they missed holes 12 and 13 (seems to me they would have noticed going from hole 11 to 14, but early senility could be playing a role here, it is after all, the Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic). Paul "Bubs" Waring continues his winning ways by taking the most cash as well as the most Greens in Regulation, while Bill "The Thrill" Swartzberg continues to perform admirably by taking the closest to the pin honors.

Through two of five events (I expect reports re: round three very soon) the  standings are as follows:

Paul "Bubs" Waring leads the pack, Bill "The Thrill" Swartzberg is in second, "Champagne Gino" Suttle is in third (no doubt due to his dual role as player and master of ceremonies, as well as missing his lovely bride (and carrying all that guilt re: not cutting the grass)), and bringing up the rear, waiting to make his big push, is Keith "The Moke" Schoeman.  Oh yeah, there are $4.00 in unclaimed funds due to the missed holes last night, seems to me everyone should go home with at least a dollar in their pocket.

More updates as they come in. 

Oh, one more thing, all you denizens of Little Rock, Arkansas, head on down to Downtown Music this evening to see the greatest guitarist ever to rock 'n roll, Ross "the Boss", give it all he's got with Albert Bouchard (think drummer, Blue Oyster Cult, think Godzilla) and the Brain Surgeons.  You will not be disappointed.

Adieu.

August 5, 2005

...Label it laziness or stupidity if you will, but I prefer the term writer's block or something akin thereto.  Now, of course, really pressed for time as the First Annual Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic mere hours from its start.  As a result, Suttle signs off for the next several days, and turns the keys over to the Mrs. for the next several days.  Attempts to provide daily Golf Classic updates will be attempted but not guaranteed.

...This leaves one glaring omission---Five days later and still no Brain Surgeons review.  I still have yet to find the inspiration to do the performance justice.  Let's put it this way:  on Saturday, July 23, Ross played in a Man O War reunion in front of 28,000 folks at an outdoor German festival.  On July 31 he performed in front of less than 100 people in what used to be a Captain D's.  A twelve year old could have video taped Ross's performance in Alpharetta with a cheap video camera, labeled the tape "Rock & Roll Guitar" and put in the time capsule to be opened in 2000 years.  The man played as though performing for the governor for a pardon---easily the most animated and powerful display I've ever witnessed by eye and/or ear in 30 years of Ross the Bossdom.    A few pics here (all Ross all the time for the most part) for your viewing pleasure.

...AMF...

August 4, 2005

...Much to do on the eve first annual Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic.  More updates as time allows later today.

August 3, 2005

...Belated happy birthday to our favorite newlywed Karen Lanza.  Did manage to break off an email in a somewhat timely fashion yesterday.  My message included a mention of the great time had by all Sunday at the Brain Surgeons show.  Karen requested more details, and I have been remiss in putting together the official Suttle World take on the event.  Fact is, that while the pics have been picked through and there is a well spring of good stuff to be reported, the inspiration to do the event justice has yet to strike.  Can report that Ms. Yolanda checked in with Ross the Boss yesterday who reported the posse was just pulling into lovely Jackson, MS after an overnight stay in even lovelier Birmingham on their day off where he was able to do his laundry.  Review/take/pics soon:  Scout's honor.

...Few quick takes beginning in Iraq.  Through argumentative slight of hand, one can easily turn this into a rather sturdy straw man type deal; but it would seem more than legitimate to ask how many lives of US troops is acceptable to meet our objectives?  We know 58,000 is too many.  Continually holding this administration's (or any other's) feet to the fire would seem to be the duty of a vigilant citizenry.  Looks good on paper, but, again, at what cost?  How many?

...Consider Suttle World a harbor for naiveté, but I do not believe Rafael Palmeiro deliberately ingested any substance that he believed to be off limits or even pushed the envelope.  Learning that MLB sat on the test results during his pursuit of his 3,000th hit looks awful for all parties involved.  Regardless, roids don't get folks 3000 hits or make for a nearly 20 year career in which he has posted slam dunk Hall of Fame numbers in almost total obscurity.   Baseball has a roid issue and must address it as aggressively as possible, but me thinks the system may be a bit sensitive.

August 2, 2005

...Editing pics and such from Sunday's Brain Surgeons show.  Just hang in; its getting there.  Trust our heroes enjoyed their day off yesterday before tonight's gig in MS.

...There is confirmation!  The First Annual Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic will begin early Friday afternoon.  The invitees will rendezvous at Spartanburg's Putt Putt course to begin the first leg of this august event.  At stake in the first round is a total pool of $30 and the coveted Melton Cup.  As of this writing, the forecast calls for a 30% chance of scattered thunderstorms and highs of 80 in Flat Rock over the weekend. 

August 1, 2005

...First edition of today's SSC publication.  The Reader's Digest version until time allows the attention necessary to do yesterday evening justice:  Suttle could not suck enough, and the Gorf Rats, as feared, used all the base hits in the bats last Sunday with an impotent showing against the Braves.  The Brain Surgeons gig was a blast!  Ross is the Boss and an all around great guy.  An honor and privilege to meet the Bouchards.  Review and pics to follow in coming final edition later today.

   
                                                                       You Can Save rock n roll!