Archives---July, 2007
July 31, 2007
...Suttle World's 25 year long campaign to bring back the Tomorrow Show ended yesterday with the death of host Tom Snyder. He was 71. Much to the chagrin on many, Snyder had a cartoon character persona, but was one hell of a broadcast interviewer---a skill that has been mastered by few.
...Another Suttle World cause of nearly the same tenure has also proved unsuccessful. The gentle surfer that dwells in and around the ATL may have thought it was finally rid of Jeff Hullinger, but much like a nagging fungal infection, he has returned---anchoring top and bottom of the hour newscasts for WSB radio on an ad hoc basis. Much like the dearly departed Tom Snyder, Hullinger has an irritating on-air presence, but unlike Snyder, has no game with which to back it up. The gentle surfer is reminded that misfortune (this time in the form of enduring Jeff Hollinger again) is not evidence of sin.
...Suttle World extends its most fervent wishes for a full and speedy recovery for Chief Justice John Roberts. GET WELL SOON!---As in long before the first Monday of October.
July 30, 2007
...In early April, grandpa Suttle launched the second pitch of the 2007 Wiffle Atlanta season over the left field wall, and it was downhill form there, culminating Sunday in the Suttle World Senators first round playoff loss at the hands of the Muckdogs 1-0. And so ends a most disappointing campaign for the Senators. In other playoff action, the third seeded, Pirates earned a birth in the third Wiffle Atlanta championship next Sunday---aided mightily by a first round bye, and a 5-1 upset victory of the top seeded Muckdogs to claim the Eastern Division Pennant. Meanwhile, the second seeded Banana Slugs captured the Western Division crown with wins over the Hustle and the top seeded Yellow Jackets. The pennant winners meet next Sunday, August 5 to determine the 2007 Wiffle Atlanta champion, followed by the season's All Star Game.
...25 days remain until the 30th anniversary of the King tumbling from the toilet at Graceland, and in anticipation of the historic event, Suttle World is left to wonder as to why all Elvis impersonators only depict the beefy, florid Pressley of his latter years. Where are the 1965 Elvis impersonators?
...Mirapex (pramipexole dihydrochloride) is either a drug developed to treat restless leg syndrome (RLS), or RLS was developed to market Mirapex. Regardless, Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, the company making the pills has bought a fair amount of TV time in the last several months to pimp the pills. Suttle World has watched these spots with great interest to confirm what it believed to have been heard with the first ad. And yes, among the litany of possible side effects are "problems with gambling, compulsive eating, and increased sex drive." Huh? Vegas is going to start putting this stuff in the water. Talk about a captive audience---a bunch of lifeless legged folks with increased propensities towards gambling, eating and sex.
July 29, 2007
...Ed Mangan never showed, and downpours overnight couldn't have helped, but the morning awakens to humid sunshine, and a newly mowed, "laid out," and striped Ralph Kramden Yards, that, aside from the usual assembly, is but a mere bag of sand here of there shy of glorious readiness for Wiffle Atlanta Divisional Playoff action this afternoon. Having achieved pits' spritzus maximus status on two separate occasions to affect preparation, Suttle World is of the opinion that the Suttle World Senators should be spotted two runs in their 1:00 first round, single elimination game against the Muckdogs. At this writing, most around the clubhouse believe the right handed fire balling Blaine will get the start, but Suttle World has refused official comment, calling it "a game time decision." The gentle surfer is also reminded that the Senators got an upset first round victory in last year's post season. For the record, eight teams played 85 of 112 games scheduled during the 14 week regular season---not bad considering weather and the loosely knit nature of the league. Also noteworthy is that much to Suttle World's surprise, tickets are still available (click for ticket info) for today's two double headers. An agreement has been made with the nearby Sam's Club for satellite parking, and a shuttle will run every 15 minutes to and from Sam's (click for directions) beginning an hour before and continuing until an hour after play this evening.
...Suttle World will not back away from its very early (as in six months ago) upset pick of John Edwards as the nominee of the Democratic party for President in '08, but Suttle World may not make many more references to its sage prognostication having come to the realization that Edwards is simply too stupid to capture the crown. Even if he were able to win the nomination, Edwards is unelectable nationally, afflicted like his former running mate Big Al---a "southerner" who can't win a single southern state. So, at this point not so early in the race (Iowa is now three weeks before the Super Bowl!) Suttle World sees the strategic logical extension for those Democrats truly intent of regaining the White House to get behind Barack---a guy who can carry a few southern states. Suttle World has yet to see a clearly more electable candidate on the Republican side to date, and without objection, Suttle World seeks permission to extend and revise its remarks on the subject. Without objection, so ordered.
...Memo to the Atlanta Braves: while Suttle World his pined for a pennant race for many years, the ball club has to win some games NOW in order for such an event to take place.
July 28, 2007
...Very late to publish this morning, but Coach Tatum would be proud. The delay is courtesy of Suttle World's selfless act of trimming the pitch of Ralph Kramden Yards in anticipation of Wiffle Atlanta's Division Playoff action tomorrow afternoon. Its a single elimination tournament featuring all eight of the league's teams. The field will be trimmed to a pennant winner from both the Eastern and Western Divisions that will meet on the following Sunday in the third Wiffle Atlanta championship game.
...Barry notches No. 754, and the sad days are ahead. The Giants host Florida tonight at 9:00 (EDT) on ESPN.
July 28, 2007
...Suttle World Executive Order No. 23: Upon removal of all necessary persons and various items vital to US national security from the Space Station, NASA is hereby grounded until further notice. In the interim, astronauts will occupy their time surrendering, inventorying and securing all disposable diapers and bottles of Jim Beam. NASA management will use the down time to attempt to figure out what the hell the space program in doing.
...Tough day on Wall Street. A 300 point/2.25% drop in the DOW yesterday is seen by Suttle World as an expected correction, and a buying opportunity. There's simply too much cash out there, and the dollar remains ridiculously cheap. That situation combined with steady or even lowered interest rates leaves Suttle World confident the index can rise to near the 15,000 level before year's end.
...The Braves get the hell out of San Francisco with Barry still sitting on 753, despite splitting a four game series that should have gone much better. The Braves trail the Mets this morning by four games in the National League East.
July 26, 2007
...Tom Glavine pitched six innings to earn career win No. 299, leading the Mets past the Pittsburgh Pirates 6-3 Wednesday night in New York. The former Braves port-sider will get his first shot at his 300th win Tuesday night in Milwaukee.
...Early reviews on the long awaited Simpson's movie are uniformly less than enthusiastic. Suttle World will have the opportunity to make its own call before the decade's end when it shows up on cable somewhere.
...The long slow days of summer are stifling with regard of happenings on which to comment. Suttle World fully understands that things get really slow in any given August, but is truly beginning to believe that campaign fatigue has taken the wind out of the sails that typically steer Suttle World much earlier this year.
July 25, 2007
...The
gentle surfer is welcome to whatever take it may
have formed regarding the Michael Vick situation,
but Suttle World finds itself in the unusual
position of being in the same camp with both local
and national media: Vick will never wear an
Atlanta Falcon uniform again.
...Beset with a dearth of material with which to work and the tedious demands of the day's schedule, Suttle World has little to bring with today's update. Fortunately, Suttle World has an ace up its sleeve in the form of another scintillating essay from cuzin Matt in his continuing saga of >>>>>>>>>>>>
July 24, 2007
...Now that dry wall repair has been affected and the old forehead stitched up as a result on banging it against the aforementioned wall, Suttle World is ready to try to break this down. The New York Daily Shopper (formerly known as the New York Times---that was a real newspaper in days gone by) reports this morning of details from a classified plan of action for the US military in Iraq over the coming months. First, the Old Dead Lady makes no mention of how it came into possession of the document or to any reaction from US military leaders in the field regarding its release. Suttle World looks forward to the weekend when the New York Times Sunday Magazine publishes the launch codes for the US nuclear arsenal. It gets better. According to the classified document, the Pentagon foresees US forces remaining in Iraq until at least 2009. Do tell? Suttle World would point out that World War II ended over 60 years ago, and US forces are still in Germany and Japan. The Korean War ended about 55 years ago, and guess who's still there? The US military in Iraq 18 months from now? Suttle World will take the over, and would have even before the Times was kind enough to print classified information. Despite the idiocy, Suttle World sees a glimmer of hope in that the State Department may have an unrecognized bargaining chip in its diplomatic pouch. You shut down your nuclear program and we'll shut down the Columbia School of "Journalism."
...Memo to Arthur Blank: decades of good works in the metropolitan Atlanta area could be quickly undone by your words and actions later today and in the near future. (Blank is set to make a statement regarding the Vick situation this morning at 11:00 EDT). The NFL has already made things a bit easier on you by telling Vick to stay away from camp that opens next week. Suttle World finds itself in the group that believes the Falcons are screwed regardless of how the matter is handled---destined to be a 5-7 win team for the foreseeable future, so you may as well be losers on the high road by releasing Vick, eating the contract, and adopt the wait til next decade mantra.
...Another item placed on the Suttle World to do list, along with a meeting of the "minds" of Congressional leadership, are some thoughts on the ATL---now officially the world's biggest bush league town. The notion began to take shape courtesy of the country's worst major daily "newspaper", the AJC, in a feature yesterday on the pathetic tribute to Aaron's 715th career homer both during and now after the former Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium.
...Just for the record: who the hell is Lindsay Lohan?
July 23, 2007
...A finer finish could not have been enjoyed at any major tournament on either side of the Atlantic as was the case in the final round of yesterday's Open Championship. Sergio throws up all over himself again on a Sunday, just when Suttle World was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. What's not to like about Padraig Harrington (distant cousin to soon to be starting Falcons quarterback Joey Harrington), the Irishman, winning? Well, one thing is that Andres Romero couldn't hold his late lead and continue 2007 as the year of the Huh? slam.
...Speaking of Harringtons, would Arthur Blank and Daunte Culpepper please pick up the white courtesy phones?
...The Suttle World Senators closed out the Wiffle Atlanta 2007 regular season in the same disappointing fashion in which most of the schedule was played, being swept by the Hustle in a twin bill yesterday evening at Ralph Kramden Yards. The Senators finish the regular season at 7-17 and will face the Western Division pennant winning Muckdogs in divisional playoff action next Sunday that will determine the Division winners to play in the third Wiffle Atlanta Championship game August 5.
..."After further review," Suttle World retracts the take about the current NBA point scandal---finding it a bit hyperbolic. Basketball, especially on the college level, has a long sorted history of point shaving. The referee angle is chilling, but when the average player in the league is making well over a phone number, officials are the only ones left to entice or leverage with money. This doesn't mean the NBA doesn't have heap big problems. Generally not a good time for the sports world: Vick indictments, NBA point shaving, golfers on steroids, Bonds approaching 755 and only one bout remaining for the Atlanta Rollergirls in their 2007 campaign.
July 22, 2007
...Its Sergio's 136th Open Championship to loose. Continuing showers have softened Carnoustie. If Garcia puts up a red number today, Suttle World finds it difficult to believe anyone can catch him. Stricker is literally crying after posting a 65, so with a three stroke lead, well, the gentle surfer can do the math. Live leaderboard here. Sergio and Steve Stricker tee it up in the final group at 9:20 (EDT/SST). Suttle World would savor eating the copious crap tossed at Sergio should he lift the Claret Jug.
...Open notes: not desirable, just keepin it real. Suttle World wonders what the over/under is on the AP wire clearing something along the lines of: ANYWHERE, USA --- John Daly, one of the most colorful and troubled players in recent golf history, was found swinging from a shower curtain in his hotel room, Anywhere authorities said. Golf's reaction to Gary Player's allegation of steroid use on the tour will be interesting. Suttle World has seen no signs of dementia, and doesn't recall any past times when Player has called out any player, course or tournament as some of his whining peers have had a tendency to do over a storied career. Suttle World remembers when beta blockers were the cause celeb.
...Thunder rumbles over stately Roberts/Suttle Manor this morning, but a quick glance at radar reveals it to be but a random shower that should have little impact on Wiffle Atlanta play this afternoon---the final games of the regular season. The Suttle World Senators, coming off their first wins in over a month, are scheduled to face off against the Hustle in a twin bill set to start around 4:30. Divisional playoffs are next Sunday, with a single team emerging from each circuit to meet in the third Wiffle Atlanta Championship Sunday, August 5. And this just in---a deluge has fallen over the Manor during the final minutes of publication that will leave Ralph Kramden Yards playable, but interesting/slippery as was the case in the Saturday play of last week and cause for cancellation of Sunday play.
...American refiners are running roughly 5 percent below their normal levels at this time of the year. That's why gas is back over $3/gallon. The lowered capacity is due to numerous mechanical issues at different refineries, and hurricane season is just really getting started.
July 21, 2007
...Late to the keyboard again this morning, but it provides some perspective with the majority of the field into their third round of play in this year's Open Championship. Tiger has returned to red numbers with a birdie at seven after beginning Friday's round with a tee shot that every hacker who ever caused the eyes of 37 on looking foursomes cued to tee off at the local muni on a Saturday morning to roll back the eyes in their collective heads can sympathize. (Editor's note: the preceding sentence has been nominated for the 2007 Suttle World awkward Rambling of the Year Award---to be presented at the prestigious Ginos awards show (Monday, Fox, 9:00 EDT)). A bit more cogent take might be that Suttle World sees Tiger, though not a come off the lead kinda guy, positioning himself in great shape for Sunday. Suttle World will believe Chokio can close the deal when Garcia shows it; and thinks the chances of "CHOI!" being heard shouted around the globe may well be heard come tomorrow afternoon. Dude is playing as well as anyone right now.
...Should the allegations of point shaving that involved NBA REFEREE Tim Donaghy prove out, it will be the biggest scandal in the history of modern sports, perhaps only eclipsed by the Black Sox of 1919. The gentle surfer that dwells in an oxygen deprived environment that leads to delusions of believing Pete Rose should be in Cooperstown can use this story as guidance for regaining their bearings.
...Suttle World's meeting with the Congressional leadership has been postponed until further notice. There's a golf tournament to watch, and Speaker Pelosi can wait.
June 20, 2007
...Suttle World and gentle surfers worldwide join in celebration of the fourth anniversary of Suttle World!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately the staff historian is as inept as his peers, and consequently an exact date for the first publication of these sage rants is unknown. It is known that the domain name was registered on July 17, 2003, and that at least 48 hours were required for a "burn in" period to make the site functional. So, by executive decree, Suttle World has officially designated July 20 as the official anniversary date so that there may be continuity in the commemoration of such a joyful event. Let the naked dancing in the streets begin!
...The Open Championship. First, if the cut does not include to top 145 players, Suttle World's dear friend, Paul Waring, will not be playing over the weekend this year's event. After posting a respectable three over, 74 in the first round, the wheels came off Bubs down the stretch today (too easy---just let it go), as he turned in an 80 to leave him at 12 over par. Sergio was most impressive yesterday with his 65, but Suttle World has left a wake up call for Sunday morning with regard to Garcia, whose collar tends to tighten on the weekend. Further commentary will have to wait until the cut is made, and Suttle World has a more manageable group with which to work. One thing is obvious: this is not your Jean Van de Velde's Carnoustie. The weather is most favorable, fairways are more than a club length wide and it is unlikely that one could loose a pachyderm in the rough. Live leaderboard here.
...Big
blowout sale on
Everything
is on sale. The gentle surfer is advised
that there is every intent for the sales
department of Suttle World to "punch up"
some graphics and other details in the near future
so that Suttle World Merch can achieve its full grandeur.
...Memo to Congress, especially the majority leadership: Suttle World respectfully requests a little sit down with yall tomorrow morning. Vaseline is optional, but word on the street has it that greased footwear is less traumatic.
July 19, 2007
...And they're off! First round play in this year's British Open at Carnoustie is approaching the half way mark as of this late publication, with a group composed of Aaron Bradley, Ben Curtis and Paul Waring that teed off at 9:09 (EDT). Suttle World is unsure as to exactly how Pops Waring of Montpelier qualified for the major, especially in light of his failure to win the Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic, but there he is. Good luck.
...The record will show that the adult denizens of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor have been screaming for several years now that the solution for a rouge North Korea was to be found in China. China gets involved in six way talks, and the North Koreans have stated that they will stand down with regard to the nuclear program. No need to thank us, but should the obstinate State Department/White House or Democrats in Congress who think they are the State Department (all of which eschewed the inclusion of the Chinese in negotiations) require any assistance in other pressing matters of foreign affairs should feel free to contact Suttle World here.
July 18, 2007
...OK, OK Suttle World takes a day off. Subscribers will have their accounts credited accordingly. SOTD should more than compensate---utilizing a incredibly underrated band that charted 11 albums through the late 60's and 70's that hold up exceedingly well today some forty years hence. So here's to Randy California and Spirit! This SOTD is for you! The gentle surfer will please excuse the overuse of exclamation marks. Suttle World recently completed Mike Huckabee's "I'm Running for President Book." Not exactly a page turner, but a hell of a lot of exclamation marks! "...and in 1965 our family got a cat!" Of course Suttle World has made the early prediction that Huckabee will win the Republican nomination for president in '08, and believes that at this particular point in the campaign cycle that he has about as much chance as the last former Arkansas governor from Hope to run for the office.
...Michael, Michael, Michael....Suttle World stipulates that the indictments against Vick filed yesterday in the US District Court in Richmond are just that--indictments; and would ask the gentle surfer to keep two words in mind before coming to any conclusions: Mike Nifong. That being said, it is difficult to believe that any potential political motivations would cause US attorneys to invent an alleged fact situation involving at least a four year conspiracy by Vick and others to be directly involved in the most egregious forms of animal cruelty that Suttle World can imagine. Regardless of how it turns out, one thing is fairly clear---dude has got to go, and with him goes the Holy Grail that the Falcons so desperately seek---consecutive winning seasons. Much more to come from Suttle World on this particular subject.
...Sky News: "A 180 foot image of Homer Simpson has been painted into the hillside, next to the famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant - in Dorset. Pagans are not happy with the new addition to the hillside, and plan some 'rain magic' to get it washed away. Video of the donut wielding Colossus of Homer is well worth the gentle surfer's viewing here.
...It occurs to Suttle World that any potential sub-prime lending crisis could be averted or significantly lessened by Chairman Bernanke. Just lower rates that the Fed in its wisdom has been revving up over the past several years for no apparent reason. Suttle World has a healthy respect for inflation, but has yet to find much on the horizon---even in the face of $74/barrel oil and $3/gallon gasoline.
July 16, 2007
...The Guardian, Monday, July 16, 2007: "But in a rare case of cheerful news for the record labels, the latest phenomenon in a notoriously fickle industry is one nobody dared predict: a vinyl revival. Latest figures show a big jump in vinyl sales in the first half of this year, confirming the anecdotal evidence from specialist shops throughout the UK." Suttle World, Sunday, July 8, 2007: "For what its worth, Suttle World foresees a huge retro/vinyl surge coming in the next several years..."
...Props to the Phillies. Falling to the Cardinals 10-2 Sunday afternoon, the franchise that has won only one World Series championship (1980) in 125 years, has 14 seasons of 100-plus losses, and once lost 23 straight games, has now lost 10,000 games in its history---the most losses by any organization in the history of western civilization. Second on the all time list are the now hometown Braves with 9681 defeats spread over stints in Boston, Milwaukee and Atlanta followed by the Cubs with 9425. Baseball numbers guru Bill James has calculated that it will take until about 2032 for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays to eclipse the Phillies.
July 15, 2007
...The
Suttle World Senators ended a five week drought
yesterday afternoon, sweeping the Pirates in
Wiffle Atlanta action. Regular Sunday play
today is threatened by rain that has left Ralph
Kramden Yards in rough shape. No official
announcement has been made, but conditions are far
from favorable for the next to last week of the
regular season.
...How great is this? Two brothers travel from Cleveland to Pamplona to run with the bulls last week where at least one of the bovines was happy to oblige and toss in a double colonoscopy as a lovely parting gift.
July 14, 2007
...A rare Saturday of limited play for Wiffle Atlanta and the Suttle World Senators as they face off against their arch nemesis of suck, The Pirates. The twin bill is slated to begin at noon at historic Ralph Kramden Yards. Following this weekend's action, only one more outing remains in the regular season, with first and second round playoff rounds set for July 29.
...Aerial reconnaissance crews and search parties with rescue dogs continue to search for the wreckage of Uncle Ernie of the Senate Pro Tem, John McCain's, presidential campaign that was last seen auguring into the ground somewhere around New Hampshire. "Believing missing with a number of men/Don't expect to see him again."
...Don't
look now, but the Braves have won 10 of their last
14 and now trail the Mets by only a game and a
half in the National League East following a 9-1
win over a remarkably dismal Pittsburgh ball club
last night.
...Mr. Xishun meet Mr Ping Ping. Those darn Mongoloids. Hailing from the same region of Mongolia, Mr. Xishun, the world's tallest dude at 7' 9" finally hooked up with Mr. Ping Ping who claims to be the world's shortest guy---rising 2' 4." Sure its a lame take, but the current events well from which Suttle World derives most of its material is running desperately dry---no doubt due to global warming.
June 13, 2007
...An inexcusably belated AMF to Lady Bird Johnson who left this mortal coil Wednesday evening at the age of 94. A weekend of prayer, reflection and celebration of her life will unfold in Texas beginning with a public memorial service today. Mrs. Johnson was the epitome of grace and dignity---an incredible achievement, given Suttle World's assumption that being married to Lyndon Johnson was difficult enough, and only amplified by the incendiary nature of the times in which she served as First Lady.
...Oil hits $73/barrel and the DOW is up almost 300 points!???
...You just can't beat a night at the old ballpark. The gentle surfer who pines for the bad old days of Braves baseball can relive the experience in Altoona, PA on July 31 when The Curve (AA - Eastern League) hold their annual "Awful night" as the ball club strives to make the Blair County Stadium experience as unpleasant as possible. In past years the team has handed out giveaways such as squares of bubble wrap and color photos of a removed gall bladder. Between innings the video board has featured clips of Ben Affleck movies and David Hasselhoff videos. Meanwhile, non-celebrities have signed autographs and fans have munched on Spam and Cheese sandwiches. The players are treated poorly, too, as their failing averages are posted whenever they come to bat, instead of their batting averages. The gentle surfer unable to make it to Pennsylvania may still indulge in Braves nostalgia. The Atlanta History Center now has an entire exhibit devoted to the dehydrated onions that were reconstituted by the old Atlanta Fulton County Stadium in 1666 and recycled each season until the ball park was torn down in '98.
July 11, 2007
...Suttle World travel advisory: the gentle surfer who's destination is hell should take only carry-on luggage. Turns out hell is a hell of a lot more crowded than previously believed. This news comes with Pope Benedict XVI approval of a document released by the Vatican Tuesday reasserting the supremacy of the Roman Catholic Church, that says other Christian communities are either defective or not true churches and Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation. Jesus was unavailable for comment as of this writing.
...The
American League emerges victorious in last night's
MLB All Star game, and nobody cares. It
would seem to Suttle World that all All Star games
have run their course. The Pro Bowl has
always been a joke, but back in the day provided a
nice Hawaiian vacation for guys who weren't
knocking down the big bucks (yes, Suttle World
remembers when the Pro Bowl was the NFL
championship consolation game). The NHL's
contest has always looked like stick time at the
Igloo, and the NBA only
remains relevant not because of the game, but the
excuse it provides for a party weekend.
...Not as entertaining as dancing lederhosen with a knockwurst remote, but damn fun to look at is the 41 pound mushroom harvested from a forest in southern Mexico.
July 10, 2007
...Choi! Belated props to the greatest name in golf for winning the first ever Tiger Crab Boil in lovely Bethesda, MD Sunday. Add an impressive win at the Memorial a few weeks back, and old KJ is riding a pretty decent season (4th on the PGA money list and ranked 13th worldwide) that will have his ticket punched for each of the '08 majors. Choi!
...In the US, a big wig bureaucrat that is caught in scandal and/or malfeasance, fills out a letter of resignation and submits it to the appropriate authorities. The gentle surfer may be surprised to know that things work a bit differently in China, where under similar circumstances, the authorities fill out a death certificate for the bureaucrat and submit it to the decedent's next of kin. "China executed the former head of its food and drug watchdog on Tuesday for approving untested medicine in exchange for cash, the strongest signal yet from Beijing that it is serious about tackling its product safety crisis. "
...The gentle surfer must agree: there's little that's more entertaining or fashionable than lederhosen ---especially if its comes with a Knockwurst remote control.
...The United States government has done a good job warning its citizens they may face a health risk in Italy's southern Campania region due to a garbage crisis that has filled streets with piles of rubbish. What nobody has done a very good job of is explaining why a garbage crisis exists. The US embassy in Rome has also warned that in addition to the environmental problems, tourists may encounter street demonstration as locals attempt to block the entrances to local dumps??????????
July 9, 2007
...Drudge, citing several unnamed sources, suggests the chances are good for a return of Don Imus to the microphone before the beginning of 2008. The reports, fueled in part by a NY Post story last week, do not mention a venue or any further details.
...Suttle World sends its thoughts and prayers to the family and friends of the 243 goats killed Friday when a big-rig carrying them tipped over in San Rafael, CA. Authorities have not released a list of the victims until proper notification of kin can be made.
...The
suck level of FM radio is now imperially measurable
as chronicled in this
piece in today's
Atlanta Journal/Constitution.
...The regional affliction of an inability to distinguish pigs from cows notwithstanding, finishing off a fairly hectic Monday morning comes yet another stellar installment from cuzin Matt in the form of >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
July 8, 2007
...If the gentle surfer had 13 days in the SOTD pool, congratulations. Alas, no one had 13, because there wasn't any pool, because nobody seemed to notice thirteen consecutive days of ditties from 1967. Tom Jones started us off in a fit of desperation, followed by a long overdue Buckinghams' tune coincidentally of the same vintage. The 40 year anniversary with the "summer of love" deal occurred to Suttle World, and 13 days later not a peep from any gentle surfer anywhere. No cries for mercy. Judicial notice is served that final work on the SOTD archives requires finishing, maintenance and publication for the benefit of both the gentle surfer and Suttle World.
...For what its worth, Suttle World foresees a huge retro/vinyl surge coming in the next several years. With the paradigm shift increasingly towards e-sales, the few left in the big music world need to move some sort of product that much more desperately. Combine that with a full generation that knows not the joy of 12 x 12 album art and all the liner notes that come along with the larger medium, along with a plethora of small decent sounding turntables appearing from China that easily interface with various sound systems; and records will be cool again for a 3-5 year period. Suttle World fully understands that vinyl never really went away, but has pretty much slipped off the radar screen for the general public. Remember really expensive "imports" in their extra heavy clear vinyl sleeve?
...Much welcome rain should not dampen Wiffle Atlanta action this afternoon. Groundskeeper Willie will survey the playing surface shortly, but does not anticipate any problems. The current rain should be through by 2:00 game times, with only showers and overcast conditions forecast. It'll be a slow, slick Ralph Kramden Yards this afternoon. A full Color Pinhead Radar Advisory should be completed and posted on the Wiffle Atlanta message board prior to 10:00. The slumping Suttle World Senators are scheduled for a twin bill at 4:30 versus the division leading Yellow Jackets.
...The Gentlemen's Championship at Wimbledon begins shortly, and though tennis history is at stake, nobody cares. Camera and broadcast technology has improved some, but the men's game at this stage of the tournament (with the wear on center court) makes for literally unwatchable 120 MPH serves. Perhaps this is a game the HD can truly rescue. Suttle World continues to hold firm in its belief that dumbing down the gear in tennis would make for a more spectator friendly game.
...Props to Old Tom Watson who continues to grind away at Whistling Straights, and holds a 3 shot lead going into today's final round of the Senior US Open Championship (live leaderboard). TV is on NBC---starting at 3:00 EDT. Suttle World extends its props to the washed up Venus on her fourth title. Sunday's ATL TV sports listings are here.
...Theodore Dalrymple, the guy so smart he makes your hair hurt, has found a use for the recently released Dr. Kevorkian in his latest entry in the always brilliant City Journal
July 7, 2007
...There are those who look at a Wiffle Ball team the way it sucks and ask why bother? Suttle World dreams of a Wiffle Atlanta increasingly diminished by the grueling end of season injury bug and a bat rack that has to wake up at some point, and asks why not? Regular season play continues tomorrow afternoon at Ralph Kramden Yards. Good seats are still available at this writing. The Suttle World Senators are scheduled for a twin bill versus the Yellow Jackets that is set to begin at 4:30.
...Suttle World speculates that an enterprising promoter could get a lot of mileage with a Dead Earth Show in any of a number major US cities today. If done properly, Suttle World has no doubt it would be more fun than any of the oh so well meaning efforts in whatever the Hands Across America d' jour/pointless events of today.
...Memo to the math impaired: Suttle World is going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it is axiomatic that random events are not aware of space and time---more specifically, a particular numerical expression of today's date looks a bit funky to the human eye. The gentle surfer is advised to consult their Ouija board for further details. Evidently many are using the celestial redundancy to exchange nuptials, and Suttle World fully understands why---its a date that even a testosterone based unit can remember.
...Tis the dog days of athletics, with only the fantasy baseball geek finding much of interest on the old sports page. Not completely bleak, Tom Watson holds a three stroke lead as the US Senior Open heads into its third round at the real cool looking track that is Whistling Straights on the banks of Lake Michigan in Haven, WI (just north of beautiful downtown Sheboygan). The British Open cranks up in a couple weeks, and NFL camps open a short while later. A full listing of this weekends ATL TV sports coverage is here.
...Atlanta Rollergirls action Sunday night at the All American Skate Center in Stone Mountain. Tomorrow night's bout is an intra-squad affair featuring the Sake Tuyas as they take on the Toxic Shocks.
July 6, 2007
...The bad news: the 24-year-old son of former Vice President Al Gore was arrested for possession of marijuana, along with prescription drugs including Valium, Xanax, Vicodin, Adderall and Soma. The good news: Al Gore III was arrested while driving a Toyota Prius.
...Props to Chipper for carrying the Braves as required last night in light of a rare poor outing from Tim Hudson, for a much needed win in LA, and in doing so setting the all time Atlanta Braves career home run record--- tying and then passing Dale Murphy with dingers 371 and 372. Also noteworthy is the silence regarding the fact that the homers were hit from both sides of the plate. Suttle World speculates that the feat hasn't been accomplished many more than 100 times in 148 year history of baseball (or roughly equivalent to the number of no hitters thrown), but none of several media organs consulted make mention of a fairly unusual event.
...Burger King announced today that it will use trans-fat free oils in all its US restaurants by the end of next year. Suttle World and the American public salutes this act of corporate responsibility, but much more eagerly awaits the termination of the current freak ass King who has haunted the cultural landscape much like a plague of chronic painful rectal itch for much too long. The gentle surfer is urged to remain vigilant in our cause to rid the airwaves of the King. Charmin toting cartoon bears shitting in the woods and Pepto spots featuring graphic depictions of gastrointestinal distress are fewer and farther between. It is working. Courage.
...Shout out to former neighbor and current Morganton, NC jet setter, Peggy, with whom the adult denizens of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor met along with others at Sangria's---the long frequented neighborhood eatery. Good time had by all, with the hope of more frequent get togethers.
...Suttle World appreciates how a kid can get bored on a long summer day, but whatever happened to calling about Prince Albert in a can? AP: "ENID, OK — Detectives arrested a 12-year-old girl and her 10-year-old sister for allegedly abducting their neighbor's 1-year-old son and demanding $200,000 for his return." The plot was evidently foiled in large part by the 12-year old's mother when the kid couldn't really explain how an infant turned up. Otherwise, the convincing note left at the scene of the crime, signed "The Kidnappers" may have worked.
July 5, 2007
...Nothing of great note from the Independence Day festivities at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor---rather a relaxing mid-week holiday complete with the sacrifice of animal flesh and traditional Godzilla marathon. Rumor, experience, and auditory senses indicate that there were pyrotechnics displays in and around the area last night, but there was no visual confirmation. Both adult denizens of the Manor were called by Morpheus at our around the time that the extravaganzas began.
...No, the gentle surfer is not experiencing a visual hallucination, the headline does indeed read, "Ozzy Osbourne to help Taiwan in U.N. membership quest."
...Despite decades of personnel changes and legal wrangling, Suttle World finds it most appropriate to note the passing of the last original member of The Drifters, Bill Pinkney, at the age of 81. Pinkney was a World War II veteran and pitched for the New York Blue Sox of the Negro Baseball League in the late 1940s and early '50s. Because of the aforementioned legal issues, Bill did not sing on any of the group's mega hits, but his distinctive bass voice can still be heard quite clearly in many other efforts.
...Not an unusual happening for the nation's largest 10K, the Peachtree Road Race. One of yesterday's 55,000 participants collapsed in cardiac arrest during the event. A representative of Piedmont Hospital confirmed that he was in stable condition after surgery to clear a blocked artery. Noteworthy, is that the unidentified 65 year old man went from pavement to surgical recovery room in a period of several hours. In Canada, the patient's paradise, he would have been stabilized, and now be sitting next to the home phone, hoping it rings with news that his by-pass surgery will be performed in a operating suite as opposed to a morgue.
...For the record, the Braves complete the first half of the regular season at 44-41, trailing the division leading Mets by 3 games, and behind the Dodgers and Diamondbacks by 4 and 2.5 games respectively in the National League wild card race.
July
4, 2007 - INDEPENDENCE
DAY
...And
a happy Independence Day to all from Suttle World
and other residents of stately Roberts/Suttle
Manor, as we embark on the 232 year of this
experiment in government. Being a holiday
Suttle World will keep it on the short side, and
in keeping in the tradition of a great American,
do so Lawrence Welk style:
...And a oneahh...Suttle World once again performed is civic duty this July Fourth morning by staying the hell away from the massive undies runnin' crowd on Peachtree where 55,000 participated this year. Among those amidst the congestion is long time participant and former neighbor Peggy who has promised a personal appearance at nearby Tucker eatery or perhaps even at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor itself.
...And a towahh...no great plans afoot at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor for the holiday although it has been nattily appointed for the occasion. The expectation is that the ceremonial sacrifice of animal flesh and forays into the 5000 gallon water holding tumor of the south lawn are on the agenda.
...And a threeahh...Completely unrelated, but Suttle World takes a long hard look at the Hawks roster after the draft, and says, "damn!" There's a tremendous amount of young talent. The question, of course, is whether Mike Woodson and Billy Knight are the guys to weave them into a team that in a very thin conference could improve a whole bunch in a hurry.
Finally, its only 1997 words, or roughly the equivalent of four syndicated columns, so Suttle World implores the gentle surfer to revisit the document around which this holiday is built---when Jefferson gave a voice to the greatest aspirations of man to date. Read the damn Declaration of Independence!
July 3, 2007
...From the mailbag comes a rather interesting take from cuzin Moke to explain the motivations behind the terrorist incidents in the UK last week. Eight suspects are now in custody, and half are medical doctors. Cuzin Moke speculates that the physicians are the leaders of this cell---driven to the the violent behavior after years of dealing with British socialized medicine. And given that 40% of Brits diagnosed with cancer never see an oncologist (they die before their appointment comes along), its a theory worthy of explanation. That, or each of the doctors were patients of Carrollton Dr. "Nick" Phillipe Astin III---prescription writer to the beefy and mass murdering crowd.
...The gentle surfer still looking for a little sun and fun over the Independence Day holiday may wish to venture over to Death Valley National Park. Johnny Beckman is calling for clear skies and a high of 128º in the California desert!
...Props to Serena for a truly heroic effort yesterday at Wimbledon. Take some time off, put on a few lbs, sustain a major calf strain---no problem. Suttle World has serious doubts if she can remain competitive now that the the tourney is down to the quarter-finals, but advancing this far is quite an achievement. And for those keeping score at home, Suttle World speculates the "problem" is with a Bud Collins, who may be a taco short of a combination meal, as opposed to NBC in his dismissal debacle. Not that TV execs can't be idiots, but Suttle World has difficulty imagining that a decision to axe Bud was made after he crossed the pond, and then advised by email that his services were no longer needed following the current fortnight.
July 2, 2007
...Grandpa Suttle goes a full six, surrendering only four earned runs with the help of a stellar defensive effort behind him. Cuzin Blaine pitches another gem---"giving up" only three unearned runs, and the Suttle World Senators are swept for a fifth straight time with 5-0 and 3-2 losses to the Dionless Muckdogs. There's no defending a six week long slump, but Suttle World has no doubt the Senators lead Wiffle Atlanta in the strength of schedule department. The league's level of competition has risen above and beyond anything that Suttle World had expected. Combine that with the near "dog track" status of grandpa, and the regular season has long since become extended spring training for the Senators who eye the post season with the delusional notion of being a factor.
...An executive decision made at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor over the weekend regarding eschewing any sort of pyrotechnics on Independence Day due to drought like conditions is apparently similar to that of other good citizens in the region. Bottom line: various news organs report that the bottom line of those in the fireworks business really sucks this year. Suttle World is not aware of any local, "bans." and wouldn't be surprised if put in effect, but this would appear to be a person by person phenomenon of civic responsibility.
...Morning duties leave today's report abbreviated. Briefly, props to Cristie Kerr---the 2007 Women's United States Open Champion. British Open at Carnoustie runs July 19-22. The previously referenced water holding tumor on the south lawn of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor is fully functional. Today's birthdays include the Declaration of Independence, brother John and the signing of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.
July 1, 2007
...Our ally, the United Kingdom, has been "attacked," and with it has come an unimaginable level of concern and disarray caused by quite rightly heightened security measures. Suttle World is left with several notions in the aftermath of past several days. First, this may be the best terrorist incident in over a decade for the good guys. Casualties were limited to one civilian injury, and the intelligence that will be mined from the arrests already made and those to come will be a mother load for British homeland security. Second, not to be disagreeable with official assessments to date, but Suttle World is skeptical as to whether the incidents are the work of al-Qaida. They are no doubt al-Qaida inspired, but Suttle World would speculate that this may be the work of radical Islamic British nationals who are just trying to do their own part for the jihad---fired up by a rogue Mullah and al-Qaida internet propaganda. Third if this is al-Qaida's handiwork, its specific motivations may by far from those Suttle World has heard postulated in the past week. al-Qaida would strike the Brits not for showing weakness in their withdrawal from Iraq, rather to brong them back in, thereby fulfilling Osama's long stated desire to lure western forces onto Muslim turf/sand. Finally, if the incidents were the work of non-affiliated radicals as suggested, will the rhetoric on their sites change to something on the order of: "thanks guys, but we're professionals here. Don't try this at home.?" Obviously the week's events will bring even greater scrutiny on the many British authorities are already watching rather closely. More thoughts as the fact situation unfolds further.
...Given their past scorched earth policies, its difficult to muster much sympathy at any time for the Marlins, especially when their opponents are the hometown Braves, but Suttle World has rarely witnessed a team get as jobbed as Florida was in the top of last night's eighth inning. A blown call at third followed by a phantom obstruction call. The boys in blue were really on a roll, and the Braves obliged---putting up a five spot, then having to hold off a ninth inning rally for the umpire assisted win.
...Suttle World extends its welcome to July and the third quarter of 2007. And if its Sunday in July, its time for Wiffle Atlanta action. The nose diving Suttle World Senators look to right a badly listing ship in their scheduled twin bill this afternoon versus arguably the league's toughest team, the Muckdogs. The Senators do not wish to benefit from the misfortune of others, but that may well prove to be the case, given the severe hamstring pull sustained by Muckdog ace Dion last week while heroically scoring the winning run in extra innings of their nightcap. Dion is presumed to be on the DL, but Suttle World and the Senators extend their wishes for a full and speedy recovery---right around Tuesday.
...The local gentle surfer should not be alarmed. The rapidly expanding tumor on the south lawn of stately Roberts/Suttle Manor is not a malignancy, rather what the 180 pound box schlepped by Suttle World and nephew Ridge is purported to be a swimming pool. Suttle World has been assured that the growth will abate upon reaching 18 feet in diameter and about 40 inches in depth. Suttle World does not pretend to understand the motivations for such an undertaking, but does confess that after a day on the solar panel that is Ralph Kramden Yards, that even Suttle World may avail itself to a modified Nestea plunge---the traditional plunge being wisely unadvised. Pics of Bertha, the incredible water holding lawn tumor, to come---maybe.
...On
a final note, just in from the mailbag comes cuzin
Moke's pick of the day with the big guy
forecasting Morgan Pressel as the winner of the US
Women's Open that concludes today.
