Archives---December, 2008

December 27, 2008    '08 outaheya

...The crafting phase of the planned final edition of Suttle World for 2008 would seem to be a poor time for a case of BCS (blank cursor syndrome).   It is not cause for alarm---merely frustrating because Suttle World will be technically deficient for the next week or so.  Further updates are not impossible, just unlikely.  Overstating the obvious:  that Suttle World genuinely appreciates each and every gentle surfer that has strolled by Suttle World in the past year might be a good place to start.  So, the gentle surfer is requested to re-read the previous sentence, and we'll get started.  No gum please.

...Speaking of the western North Carolina satellite HQ upon where Suttle World is set to embark shortly, it would seem as though local Henderson County officials are quite happy with a just awarded $380,000 state grant to promote healthier eating in the area.  Stop the music!  Suttle World will gladly do the job for a mere quarter million with its "Eat carrots and move your ass" campaign for Henderson County.  It won't work (just like whatever the $380,000 will be spent on now won't work), and the beefy will remain multitudinous, but the taxpayers of North Carolina could at least save the $130,000 difference.  Its that, or the bailout for the Bank of Suttle will just be that much bigger.  Pay Suttle World now, or pay it later---this way the gentle surfer or taxpayers would at least get a couple lame billboards and  radio PSAs out of the deal.

...James Joseph Cialella Jr., is a 29 Philadelphia man who went to the movies Christmas Day.  Seems as though old James was a bit perturbed by a nearby family that was talking during the show.  He asked them to stop.  They didn't.  He shot them, returned of his seat, and continued watching the showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  Police arrived soon thereafter.  They were non-lethal injuries, and things did get mighty quiet in a hurry following the exchange.  Yo, Philly!

...Suttle World Biggest of 2008 - Suttle World Stories of the Year

#5 Beijing Olympics - Suttle World leapfrogs the typically tedious event over Iraq in the AP poll of stories of the year.  Phelps' performance, and the success of China's coming out party played out on the world stage.

#4 Gas Prices - Now at their lowest levels in five years.

#3 Economic Meltdown - Before the first weekend in October, the US was only $8-10 trillion in debt.  Now its doubled.  Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic, Council on Foreign Relations...both really silly sounding groups.  Coincidence?  Suttle World thinks not.

 #2 US Elects Brother President -  Enough said.

#1 2008 POFGC Champion Admiral Bill Swartzberg - The Admiral rolls in a four footer on number 18 at Mystery Valley, the final hole of this year's event, and captures the upset win of the fourth annual championship, or the "Fifth Major" as the tournament is now known in some circles. 

...For what its worth, the cursor is still boldly blinking...

...The gentle surfer is given advance warning to reset their clocks one second ahead at the start of 2009.  Suttle World gets why such seeming idiocy is important, but doesn't really get why its done on December 31.  Why not leap day, Groundhog Day, Arbor Day?

...Three bowl games, and a host of college hoops mismatches dot the tube today, followed by the final week of the NFL regular season Sunday.  A complete rundown of the ATL TV sports schedule is here for the clicking.

...Suttle World's favorite part of the holidays is that special combination of alcohol and family that makes the local news so entertaining.  In other news, the Fox folks have confirmed that "Marley and Me" set a Christmas Day record with $14.75 million at the box office, despite patrons having to step over the bodies of those who had succumbed to malnutrition because of the Great Depression II.  By Suttle World's math, the dollar figure translates into at least 5000 people having seen the flick to date.

...The favorite part of this year's holiday season is yet to come, as Kelly and Matt Bruner make an extended guest stay at the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ next week.  At this writing, it is difficult to believe that anything will top the excitement of Matt's Rockin New Year's Eve appearance at the Back Room in the Village of Flat Rock..  Gentle surfers who have failed to make arrangements may well be screwed.  Suttle World will be hard to find the next several days.  Just look for the spotlights in the sky over Flat Rock where revelers will have assembled for not only the gig, but also the traditional dropping of the rock at midnight.

...Again, there may well be another update for Suttle World in 2008 (too many football games, including the first round of the NFL playoffs to not get in a pick here or there).  If not, publication will resume January 5 at the latest.  "Change" was the most overused word of 2008, and it remains to be seen as to whether the political and social fabric of this great nation will be altered a rat's ass in the coming year.  2009 will bring, however, significant change to Suttle World.  It'll be gradual, but the same Bat time, same Bat station come the end of '09 should look considerably different.

December 26, 2008    Tidying up '08

..."Honey, you know I love you, but I have busted my ass all year with a bunch of midgets, and just finished a 24 hour trip around the world.  I still smell like a wet freakin' reindeer's ass, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to spend the rest of my vacation at your mother's listening to how 'you could have married the Easter Bunny and not had to live in that God forsaken place.'"

...Born to sharecroppers on a South Carolina cotton plantation, charted a top five song, played Catwoman on TV and went to the White House, basically, to call out Lyndon Johnson on the bullshit that was the Vietnam war (at great expense to her career).  Not a bad run.  Ertha Kitt was 81, and a very smart, talented woman who found her shtick, and sold it like mother for seven decades.

...Retail gasoline prices are at their lowest levels in five years.  Those gosh darn hallucinations---Suttle World can clearly see an alternate reality from the ancient past of six months ago when unleaded was pumping around the $4/gallon level, and we were all going to die.  Get these killer bees of of me!!!!!

...Suttle World Best of 2008 - Suttle World Sportsman of the Year

#5 New York Football Giants - Sure it could have gone to Eli, but the whole ball club made the huge stretch run, and much more importantly, provided viewers with a Super Bowl worthy of watching.  The whole New York deal is pretty cool too, if the Jersey part is taken out of the equation.  Number five, the 2008 Super Bowl Champion New York Giants.

#4 NFL Referee Ed Hochuli - Dude blew it.  Just ask him, and that critical blown call may still have an impact on whether the Broncos or Chargers will make the playoffs.  Immediately realizing his error, Ed apologized profusely to the affected team and coaches, and then personally answered every email from every asshole that somehow managed to get a hold of him to complain about his mistake.  Ed wrote a personal apology to each---hundreds!  Number four, great guy, occasionally confused, NFL Referee Ed Hochuli.

#3 US Open Champion, Eldrick - Wins the Open Championship and his 14th major in 91 holes with a broken leg.  Honorable mention to Rocco Mediate who stared down boy wonder for the first 18 extra holes.  Number three, Tiger, I sure hope this knee is good, Woods.

#2 Michael Phelps/Beijing Games - Stunning individual and team performances even if its in a sport about which no one cares.  High drama, world records, and honorable mention to the Chinese for pulling things off reasonably well.  Number two, Olympic eight time 2008 gold medalist Michel Phelps.

#1 2008 POFGC Champion Admiral Bill Swartzberg - The Admiral rolls in a four footer on number 18 at Mystery Valley, the final hole of this year's event, and captures the upset win of the fourth annual championship, or the "Fifth Major" as the tournament is now known in some circles.  Confidently playing his Sponge Bob Square Pants balls to victory, the 2008 Suttle World Sportsman of the Year is, like Bobby Jones, Atlanta's own, Peachtree Old Fart Golf Classic reigning champion Bill, the Admiral, Swartzberg.

Comeback of the year award goes to the Atlanta Hawks for putting a respectable product on the floor every night, and another big-time honorable mention goes to the Atlanta Falcons, who could still walk away from this weekend with a bye in the first round of the NFL playoffs.  Amazing!  Other mentionables include the Tucker HS Tigers capturing their first AAAA Georgia football championship in 45 years, late '08 Yankee spending, and the passing of Skip Cary.

...Third quarter numbers indicate that for the first time ever, the number of notebooks shipped is greater than desktop computers.

...Bio-engineering at home for fun and profit.  Sounds kinda creepy in the AP piece, but very similar "do-it-yourself" behavior was invaluable to the "golden age" of microbiology a hundred years ago.

...Another day left publication wise for Suttle World in 2008---a number of payoffs and all.

December 25, 2008    "Happy birthday to you..."  Christmas Day

...A review of the Suttle Security Council Daily Briefing Archives show a history of short, sweet Christmas updates, and there would seem little reason to deviate from the tradition this year.  Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor remains peaceful at day break

...This little ditty to savor in the absence of the traditional Blue/Gray Classic from Mobile, Pulaski Academy is the reigning Arkansas Division 5-A football champion.  This is brought to the gentle surfer's attention only because the 13-1 Bruins prevailed with a deliberate season long strategy of never punting the ball, and onside kicking approximately 75% of the time.  Their execution was flawless.  Pulaski did not punt once during the season, and converted on about 60% of their fourth downs, including a 4th and 10 from their own 18 in the state finals.  Hmmmmmmm!?  "Upon further review," Suttle World speculates that Bill James could cipher some mighty interesting numbers from such ploys---the onside kick deal too.  Actually, economist David Romer did the study the question for the NFL a decade ago.  Bottom line:  don't punt, and Suttle World does not believe this is in any way contrary to its increased quick kick strategy.  Where's a good flying wedge when really needed?  Celtics and Lakers are the marquee matchup on the tube today, starting at 5:00 and the middle of five NBA contests televised today.

...Merry Christmas to all.  A couple of days of publication remain for 2008, and will include some details of the Matt Bruner rare western North Carolina appearance next week on New Year's Eve that are long overdue.  In the meantime, cuzin Matt sends season's greetings in his latest stellar installment of 

December 24, 2008    Christmas Eve doings

...Business first...Its Christmas Eve, the date when Suttle World typically drones on about how its almost over, and that today is the next to best day of the year/Christmas, when the whole tedious affair will be over.  Suttle World simply cannot muster similar sentiment this morning, and highly suspects that the gentle surfer has failed in its previously assigned mission to create a nuisance.  Plan B (and only because Suttle World is one hell of a magnanimous global concern):  Suttle World's itinerary has it out and about during the daylight hours today at several locations (undisclosed to avoid the media frenzy). This affords the world one last big show biz chance at really pissing off Suttle World with last minute comings, goings, buyings and tithings, etc...  Show some Christmas spirit.  Get out there, and really piss off Suttle World!  Memo to giant inflatable holiday lawn characters owners:  leave the suckers on.  Three or four turned off in the same yard resembles a drive by.

...Even with absolution granted, and the schlep of many miles scratched from the schedule, today is indeed a busy one in Suttle World, as the "all in-laws, all the time" holiday begins this morning with the traditional ministering to the grooming challenged enemy of the state.  This is followed by a light lunch of finger sandwiches and tea---a prelude to the holiday whooping of nephew Ridge, who has chosen the nearby Wal-Mart parking lot for this year's beat down.  The afternoon is filled with literal pageantry as niece Gwyneth delivers a no doubt stunning portrayal of Mary---a role Suttle World reckons to be the lead.  Assuming at least one of the Saints of All Saints keeps the structure in tact, the evening moves to the home of neighbor Jill for an intimate gathering of Classic Village idiots.  Mugs of mulled cider will be raised in cheer as a Duesenberger is roasted in what has become a holiday tradition.  Christmas Day involves another assemblage of in-laws.  This time at mother's of bride of Suttle World in a gathering for the great Christmas feast that will end the nutritional fasting of the past days when only empty calories could be consumed.  Suttle World highly suspects a ham will be involved.

...Good ball game last night.  No, really---the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl was a thriller with the Horned Frogs of TCU capturing a last minute win over #9 Boise State.  The only contest to be had today is the pathetic Hawaii Bowl as the Rainbow Warriors host Notre Dame.  Hey, Suttle World says it'll get a huge number.  There are a lot of desperate people held captive around the country that will resort to anything for escape---even Hawaii v. Notre Dame.

...Belated news from the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ...Past Sunday just wasn't Jesse Lee Owens' day.  The 24 year old Brevard, NC native was speeding in the westbound lane of Frozen Creek Road, ran off the road and smack into an embankment.  Jesse wasn't wearing a seat belt, so he was ejected and discovered DRT (dead right there) around 7:30 pm. The 2000 Dodge Neon that Owens was driving was reported stolen from the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church in Rosman around 8:30 pm.  Justice is served, and the gene pool is mercifully thinned in one short moment.  Now, if the insurance folk will just do right by the Neon owner, this is Hallmark moment---just in time for Christmas.

...The gentle surfer may well have seen more than wanted or will be subjected to coming countless replays of the 40th anniversary of Apollo VIII's Christmas Eve "broadcast."  Regardless, the gentle surfer is encouraged to give it at least one spin/good look, and be advised, that if not cognizant at the time, the Earth truly did stand still, watch and listen.  Suttle World also notes that today in the Faster and Louder brave new world of a seemingly infinite number of stimuli sources that near universal events such as those witnessed 40 years ago will never happen again---at least not in joy and wonder.  It was really cool.

...Chris Matthews February 12, 2008:  “I have to tell you, you know, it’s part of reporting this case, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear Barack Obama’s speech. My — I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don’t have that too often. No, seriously. It’s a dramatic event. He speaks about America in a way that has nothing to do with politics. It has to do with the feeling we have about our country. And that is an objective assessment.”  Matthews' fawning was bestowed the Media Research Center's 2008 Quote of the Year Award in the group's 21st Annual Awards for the Year's Worst Reporting.  Tough to argue.  Its would be a fun page to play with if not so disturbingly unremarkable in the level of bias that is simply accepted as routine.

...Stockings to stuff, and the like.  Merry Christmas to the gentle surfer and theirs'.

December 23, 2008    Numbers 1 & 2 on your hit parade

...Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah" is nice enough and everything, but two different covers of the tune currently occupy the top two positions of the British music charts.  Suttle World finds this very odd.  What Suttle World finds beyond odd is that this isn't a unique event.  The first time was in January 1957, when Tommy Steele and Guy Mitchell held the top two places with "Singin' The Blues."  "C'est la vie, say the old folks/It goes to show you never can tell." 

...Left coasters concerned about California going broke in a couple months, should be comforted with the knowledge that the state has been broke for as long as anyone can remember.  Taking on the role as the world's largest outpatient clinic 15-20 years ago or so probably sealed the deal.  Suttle World can appreciate the indignation of the gentle surfer domiciled in, say, Nebraska, being forced at gun point to bail out California just as the Nebraskan can understand why federal crop insurance and numerous farm subsidies being taken  by gunpoint and redistributed to say, farmers, might cause indignation in others.  "Paging Aesop.  Would Aesop please pick up the white courtesy phone?" 

...The just sub .500 Gwinnett Gladiators offer some Christmas cabin fever relief with home games Friday and Saturday nights at the Arena at Gwinnett, and are a much cheaper evening than the budding Christmas Day movie going tradition.  The hideous Thrashers take to the ice at Phillips Friday and Sunday, while the much more compelling Hawks take advantage of the hardcourt laid down in the same venue both tonight and Saturday when they take on Oklahoma City and Chicago, respectively.  Mighty fighting Colonial fans will be up late waiting for a final score tonight as GW takes on Sacramento State, in a west coast contest that starts at 10:00 EST.  Then its off to the Rainbow Classic in Hawaii, with Vermont set as the first opponent Saturday.

...The remainder of the media world is mailing it in, why not Suttle World?  Bruner gig news is still forthcoming, and should be updated later today, but email Suttle World here to get on the VIP early ticket sale list for the time being.  Publication should continue in a somewhat normal fashion for the remainder of this week, and then most likely cease for the remainder of 2008 through as long as the first Monday of 2009 (1/5/2009).  The ensuing days of publication for this year will be devoted to a bit of whimsy as Suttle World ties up some lose ends, finally gets around to some stuff, and takes a long range look at Suttle World as it is now and has long been known.

December 22, 2008    Falcons playoff bound!

...Despite a run of success by the Braves that will be unmatched (13 consecutive Division titles) in history, generally speaking, pro ball has sucked in the ATL since the Falcons first set up shop as an expansion team for the 1966 season.  The Braves moved from Milwaukee the same year, and the Hawks would arrive in '68 from St. Louis.  The expansion Flames came with the opening of the Omni in 1972.  Julius Irving was a Hawk for 25 minutes.  The Falcons ran off Brett Favre.  The Braves passed on Tom Seaver, only to later pioneer the free agent market with Andy Messersmith and Bruce Suter.  So Falcon fans and the betting public had this season ready for a typical showing when play began around Labor Day.  The Falcons should win about four of their scheduled 16 games, and continue on yet another "rebuilding" effort.  Instead, Atlanta clinched a playoff appearance yesterday afternoon with a decisive win over a normally pretty decent Vikings team on the road.  Simply amazing, and the greatest single achievement in the history of Atlanta pro sports---eclipsing the '96 World Champion Braves, '68 NASL Champion Chiefs, '94  Turner Cup winning Atlanta Knights, and Rick Camp's game-tying 18th inning home run on July 5, 1985 against the New York Mets, off pitcher Tom Gorman.  Bravo!  Though not an avid follower of the home team, Suttle World certainly salutes runaway Rookie-of-the-Year Matt Ryan, overlooked Pro Bowler John Abraham, and the entire organization on an amazing season that is a long way from over.  The good Redskins show up to smash Philly in the mouth a week too late yesterday.  The Bears must beat Green Bay tonight to stay alive, and then the NFL eschews any holiday play to wrap up the entire regular season Sunday, 12/27.

...Suttle World Productions has a major announcement forthcoming in the next 24 hours.

December 20, 2008    Blago boffo boob

...Gov. Rod Blagojevich is the gift that just keeps on giving.  And Georgians used to the Slow Frank Harris put the goober in gubernatorial.  Nice call Illinois---the Land of Lincoln and Indicted Officials.  Actually, New York Times exhaustive research shows Illinois to be only the seventh most corrupt state in the nation if measured in terms of elected officials convicted of a criminal offense in the last ten years.  Florida, with 824 is the big winner---the place where elected officials from Illinois retire.

...While in the governor department, Arnold has ordered all California state employees to take an extra two days off (unpaid) each month for the foreseeable future.  The headlines scream of "Furloughs."  Suttle World sees extra vacation.

...Suttle World does confess to feeling a tad guilty for the gentle surfers stranded in blizzard like conditions, or its aftermath, as they dutifully fulfill the call to shop the nation's way to a very merry Christmas, as instructed by Suttle World yesterday.  The northern third of the country is under some sort of winter weather advisory.  The roadside gentle surfers awaiting emergency workers to arrive are advised to be thankful for wireless access, and reminded that frostbite isn't as bad as advertised---ya most likely had at least 20 digits to start, what's losing a few here and there?

...Just in time for that last minute hard to buy for special person:  its the Ronco Currency Press.  Yep, print script just like the pros, as you crank out billion dollar notes with Chairman Bernanke on the front.  Run the press all night, and bail out whomever you damn well want---friends, family, neighbors or major inefficient industries.  There's no economic issue that can't be solved by 0% interest rates and the Ronco Currency Press---borrowing and printing the way to prosperity since 1933.  Suttle World has come to believe this year's financial tumult to be merely a celebration of the the 75th anniversary of FDR taking office.  Wait til the centennial!  

...The Celtics streak is now at 17 by virtue of a road win over the Bulls last night.  The Hawks win a game against Golden State at Philips that is the sort of game a real team HAS to win in this league (home games against west coast opponents).  The Lakers finally drop one---to the Heat in Miami, and though it turned out to be a runaway, Lebron taking on D Wade last night was a game most casual NBA fans would have like to have seen, especially on a barren TV sports night.  The marquee matchup was "broadcast" on the ESPN360.com In A Circle Over Your Head Double Nekid Steak channel.  Memo to ESPN:  just show the freakin game that can be viewed on a TV by someone without a national security clearance.  Memo to the NBA:  this state of affairs aint exactly helping your cause either.

...Late and poorly timed (like other major dailies, Suttle World's readership is down on Saturdays), but Matt's devoted readers will find his latest stellar installment of Bruner's Texas Takes, here, for the clicking>>>

...Quick shout out to cuzin Moke for his brief appearance at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor yesterday afternoon.  The ceremonial gift exchange occurred and calendars set for Monday morning when the old boy embarks on the first of many inspections, detections, injections and all kinds of mean and nasty things that the post 50 regiment entails (so to speak).  We thank thee, oh Lord, for mild sedation, surgical jelly and increasingly smaller gear---all products of a market based medical care system, Suttle World would hasten to add.

...Travel will most likely pre-empt Suttle World's Sunday publication.

December 19, 2008    Deep Throat swallows no more

...Mark Felt, the former FBI second in command and rather disappointing character to finally reveal himself several years ago as the Deep Throat of Woodward and Bernstein fame, shuffled off this mortal coil yesterday at the ripe old age of 95.  As much as anyone, Felt, acted as the singular greatest source of inside information during the Watergate affair in a manner that makes the Spy v. Spy cartoons in Mad Magazine seem plausible, and, as a result, was as responsible as any individual in the eventual resignation of Richard Nixon.  He died of being 95, but will live on forever as the answer to a "good" trivia question (a good trivia question being defined as a piece of specialized information that isn't really trivial---something you should've known, or be able to remember).

...The frequent gentle surfer is well aware that Suttle World typically just comments on the freak show that is reality, as it passes along like the Tournament of Roses Parade---only not really boring.  Today, its a whole new ball game, and Suttle World must climb upon its bully bandwidth to strongly admonish the gentle surfer and his or her fellow American brothers and sisters.  This is a tad esoteric, so Suttle World will start slow.  No doubt the gentle surfer is familiar with signs.  No, not neon or stop signs, rather metaphysical pointers.  As an example:  if the gentle surfer is at the track and wonders aloud about a particularly difficult race to handicap, and looks up to see Jesus, holding a Daily Racing Form, answer that he likes the number 4 horse, that's a sign.  It snowed in freakin' Vegas Wednesday---the earliest on record.  Chicago got nearly a foot as this weather system worked its way east yesterday, and this morning NYC is having 5-6 inches sprinkled on 5th Avenue.  This is a sign, asshole!   Winter wonderland---get it!!???  The economy sucks.  Consumers drive two-thirds of the US economy, not Washington.  Suttle World is not sufficiently annoyed by Christmas and now there's less than a week to go!  If Suttle World isn't pissed yet, that means everyone else isn't doing their jobs!  Deck a hall!  Cram some bills into the red bucket---annoying bell and all!  Buy some crap, and give it to other folks.  All are directed to begin manic action in these and similar fashions to have Suttle World absolutely sick of Christmas by its arrival next week!  Don't make Suttle World get up from behind this keyboard!  Bobby Gentry hasn't shown up on SOTD in damn near four years, but he could.  Now go---annoy Suttle World with your silly holiday happenings.  Be a good American!

December 18, 2008    The mighty BCS

...Is the gentle surfer in a state of nearly auto-soil in anticipation of the New Year's Day tradition that is the Orange Bowl---now the FedEx Orange Bowl, a proud participant in the Bowl Championship Series?  Its Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati for God's sake, making the inability to control normal bodily functions understandable. Suttle World is pleased to bring news that should allow the gentle surfer to unknot their sphincters---just shake down the sofa for $1.25.  Actually, it may take up to $10 along with shipping and handling, fees and the like to get a ticket to the Orange Bowl that are currently to be had on Stub Hub starting at the above mentioned price point.  $15 and the gentle surfer is in, easy; and then just park in the seat of choice.  The Hoakies may travel reasonably well, but Suttle World has its doubts about Cincinnati if Oscar Robertson isn't involved; and the indigenous population was last reported to not give a rat's ass about any stinkin' college football game of any variety.  The bottom line:  Suttle World sets the over/under at 50,000 for the number of fans that will show for the holiday tradition that is the 2009 FedEx Orange Bowl from Dolphin Stadium dressed as empty seats.  Thanks again to the BCS for getting this whole NCAA thing worked out just the way everyone wanted.  TV execs must be equally thrilled.

...The Hawks drop another heartbreaker to the Boston Celtics last night, who came from behind to extend their winning streak to 16 with an 86-85 squeaker of a win at Philips.

...Only seven shopping days left...morning duties call...a quick early Christmas gift for Al Gore >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

December 17, 2008    Celtics showdown tonight

...Sporting a 15 game winning streak, the defending champion Boston Celtics come to Philips Arena tonight to play a Hawks team that took the champs to a full 7 games in the first round of last year's playoffs.  Boston is 23-2 on the young season.  Suttle World finds it most curious that the game is off the board at every sportsbook checked  this morning.  Very strange indeed.

...Currency Trading For Dummies is, honest to God, a title in that incredibly successful "how to" library.  Amazon says, "Many  who bought this book, also invested heavily with Bernard Madoff."  Suttle World warned some time back that publishing Nuclear Arms Programs For Dummies would eventually come back to bight the world in the ass, and look at Iran.  Another notch in the Suttle World "told you so" belt.

...Some lucky gentle surfers in some thirty yet named cities will evidently have the opportunity to shell out $20 at a theater to see the BCS suck in 3-D.  Needless to say, Suttle World is incontinent with giddiness over the possibility.  Barf bag sold separately.  Which brings to mind that age old question---when knee dragging, sorority chick drunk in the southern hemisphere, does the room spin in the opposite direction?

...Minor league computer geek banter...the gentle surfer that uses Microsoft's Internet Explorer 7, may want to download, and finally give Mozilla a shot---at least until the new security patch arrives from Gates and Company later today.  Evidently a serious security flaw has been found in this particular version of IE.  Suttle World has been a proud user of Firefox's Mozilla browser for several years now, and highly recommends it as the default internet tool.

...ABC will be more than happy to tell the gentle surfer all about the upcoming Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve 2009.  Guest stars, times, everything but Dick---an understandable state of affairs, just makes the name a little creepy.

...For all of Suttle World's chiding (some deserved, some not) only two weeks remaining in what will have been the worst financial quarter the world has seen since the Great Depression.  Its bad, and could get worse.  The good news is that the three nearby supermarkets each still have a single aisle devoted to nothing but pet food.  Few, if any, Americans shop in a landfill for the groceries, unless by choice.  Now, get out there and buy something stupid!

December 16, 2008    Its a mad mad Madoff world

...OK, so  the Madoff dude, the former NASDAQ president, evidently scammed some $50 BILLION before his arrest earlier this week.  Given the names on the list of those that were had, and the amounts involved, the story is staggering, but, in the NWA economy in which the world now dwells, the losses may be less than real.  Yes, that folding chair Mort Zuckerman took to the head looks like it hurt, but, fortunately for Mort and his big buck buddies, there's no need to fear, the Securities Investor Protection Corporation is here, and may well guarantee all $50 billion of the lost investments in what is being termed the world's largest ever Ponzi scheme.  Billy Joel was unavailable for comment, despite voice mail at Joel's residence that extols his virtue as one of the great artists in the history of western civilization.

...The Federal Reserve is expected to cut their benchmark rate in half today to .5%.  In response, Dirk Bremen, CFO of the Bank of Suttle, took time from his hectic Washington schedule, to announce that the Bank of Suttle would immediately begin issuing $50,000 notes at .75%.  "The windows open at 9:00," said Bremen in a hastily called press conference, adding "all deposits will be fully backed by the full faith and credit of the United State of America through the Securities Investor Protection Corporation.

...A week of riots later, and Greek police have run out of tear gas---now making pleas to both Germany and Israel (yep, Germany and Israel) to send in reinforcement canisters.  Seems as though they only had about 4500 on hand when the mayhem broke lose.  Oprah!

...Suttle World was surprised the Arena Football League cancelled its 2009 season.  The league says it is not folding shop, and Suttle World is  actually buying what little company line there is to digest---at least for now.  These guys may be smarter than would appear.  If the now nearly two decade old league was staring dead into the eyes of a heap big money losing season, why not just take a year off?

...If there is any doubt about the incredible talent of Don Imus, try listening when he's not on the air---just another morning zoo, albeit with very talented people.  Imus is one on a drop dead top 10 list of radio talents in the history of the medium.

December 15, 2008    Falcons playoff hopes alive and well

...The Atlanta Falcons and Tampa Bay Buccaneers collected 23 of the 127 points scored yesterday in the NFL, with the elderly Jason Elam booting the last three in overtime, as the Falcons earned their ninth win of the year, and remain very much in the playoff hunt.  The permutations are too numerous to get into at this point, but Tampa and Dallas also have 9 wins, and it would appear that two of those three teams will be the wildcard entrants for the NFC.  The teaser fails late into the night, largely because the Giants failed to show on offense.  Alas, some years are better than others, and this is turning out be one of the others for Gene, the Caucasian.

...Shrek, the musical is coming soon to Broadway, and if true to form, throngs will line up to pay over $100 to take in just what this dragging economy so desperately needs:  another musical.  Just so the oral history of the culture is continued...Boys and girls, back in the olden days, actors of great renown, played dramatic roles on the Great White Way, and didn't bust out in a lame tune during the middle of the scene, largely because, in reality (a portion of which the production was attempting to replicate), folks rarely bust out in show tunes in the middle of conversations---excepting, of course, for one segment of the population that doesn't count in this particular situation, because they're all involved in putting on the show.

...Orwell would be proud.  The global warming morons are actually stipulating the cooling trend the earth has seen over the past decade, and submit it as evidence of man made global warming. Tomorrow:  "up is down" day, and don't forget "less is more" Wednesdays at Suttle World or a Nobel laureate appearing soon near the gentle surfer. 

December 14, 2008    Hawks tame James

...The Atlanta Hawks built an 11 point second quarter lead, and nursed it the remainder of the evening to end Cleveland's eleven game winning streak 97-92 at Philips last night with Suttle World in attendance.  19,200 others turned out for the affair that saw the Hawks play solid basketball wire to wire against an obviously fatigued Cleveland squad.  A few thoughts about LeBron after seeing him up close and personal for the first time.  As Bobby Jones said of a young Nicklaus, James plays a games with which Suttle World is not familiar.  He put up a quiet 33, but could obviously score against anyone from anywhere on the floor, and Suttle World believes the singular factor that puts Bron on a "higher spiritual plane" is superhuman strength.  The ball seems lighter in his hands, gravity less imposing...  This kid is better than advertised, and it was a privilege for Suttle World to get that particular notch carved into its belt.  Philips is holding up well, and is a good arena on a number of levels.  That said, the banner  bereft building hanging one in tribute to Widespread Panic selling out 17 shows over the past eight years is beyond lame on a number of levels.

...The NFL...a crew worked feverishly through the night at the Georgia Dome---changing out turf panels (end zones and the like) and vastly narrowing hash marks as the gridiron is altered from that of the Georgia high school championships of Friday and Saturday to this afternoon's 1:00 game between the Falcons and Bucs.  For the Falcon fan, this is HUGE.  Win today, and Atlanta most likely will make the playoffs---a feet Suttle World maintains would be the singular greatest achievement in the history of Atlanta pro sports.  The gentle surfer should not be confused.  The '91 Braves were more fun.  The 2008 Falcons making the playoffs is more impressive (and that would be dwarfed by the Dolphins getting into the post season this/next year).  Suttle World's beloved Redskins get a second bye week today in Cincinnati, assuming the Bengal like Skins aren't the team that gets on the bus at the hotel.  The Gene, the Caucasian, page still needs work, but will at least update today with a much more enthusiastic Pick of the Week.  Of course, its the tried and true, three team, six point teaser (net):  TB +9 @ ATL; TEN +3 @ HOU; and NYG +9 @ DAL. Pays 9:5,  and is much needed to be a winning ticket to get the balance sheet back towards at least being balanced.  The four point underdog Hawks paid a stingy +$145 on the money line last night, but easy 3:2 money is easy 3:2 money.  Idiotic and inexplicable NFL TV rules leave the ATL a wasteland on the second from last Sunday of the regular season with a single 1:00 and 4:00 game available to those without the dish deal.

...The net...Google's admission that they maybe sometimes use editorial discretion in determining some search results as opposed to the company line of "all computer, all the time" is indeed staggering, but Suttle World also finds it uplifting that Gov. Blagojevich will have a consulting gig waiting when released from custody at some point in the future.

...About 800,000 idiot Yankees are still without power this morning, and more are expected to lose their juice as thawing limbs begin collapsing on power lines.  A couple inches of ice and its as though the world stopped turning on its axis.  Suttle World's wishes all those affected to be smug and warm.

...The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that the Obama stimulus package will add up to $1 TRILLION, and no one affiliated with the transition team has been willing to comment, meaning the spending will total over a trillion.  In all fairness, getting comment from the Obama camp is difficult, given most entered the Federal Witness Protection Program, after Blagojevich was indicted.  Presumably, some will resurface, given 4-5 million folks are expected to show in DC for the inauguration---a staggering total, if true, and a tremendous shot in the arm for the tourist dependent economy of the area.  The enterprising gentle surfer is advised that it can buy t-shirts in bulk imprinted with Obama's name, likeness, and platitudes for a dollar a throw.  They'll fly out of the gentle surfer's hands at $10-15/each in such an environment.

...Props to President Bush on his most dignified farewell in Baghdad this morning, despite the inescapable conclusion that with or without WMDs, the previous regime in Iraq in no way posed a threat to US vital interests.

...Props to Florida pizza delivery dude who successfully fended off an armed attacker with a pepperoni pie.  The gentle surfer is admonished that pizzas don't kill guns.  People do.  Unless there's a cane gun involved, in which case, all bets are off.

December 13, 2008    Tucker wins 1st state title

...Tucker High School is old, ugly and currently a particular eye sore as it is in the midst of a much needed new facility being built on the cramped campus where classes have been held since 1918.  Ninety years and forty-eight minutes later, the Tucker Tigers captured their first ever state championship with a 15-3 win over arch rival Marist last night at the Georgia Dome.  As the scoreboard would indicate, it was a smash mouth affair with Tucker out smash mouthing (322-71 in the total yards department, 74-27 downs from scrimmage) the War Eagles, while hitting the superfecta too---scoring by field goal (x2), safety, touchdown and PAT.  Buford beat Calhoun to capture the AA title in the opener, and the 2008 AAAA Georgia Football Championship belongs to Tucker High School.  Worthy of repeating is the aforementioned construction.  The gym has been appropriated for its much needed space, and a great deal of class time is spent in a UN refugee camp looking trailer park like thingy.  No athletic team has an onsite practice facility!  In other Tucker HS news, for those keeping score at home, nephew Ridge continues to schlep his own special trail of tears to proudly graduate as a member of the class of 2009.   Today its a triple header at the Dome, beginning at 1:00 with the A title game when Wesleyan takes on ECI (?!).  The AAA game is at 5:00 between Flowery Branch and Cairo (that's "Kay'-row", as in the corn syrup, for them's who's not from round heh), followed at 8:00 by the big one, Godzilla, the AAAAA title game between Peachtree Ridge and Camden County.  Suttle World isn't completely nuts.  This is the first year the five finals, as opposed to 10 semifinal games, have been played at the Dome---a nearly 15 year event.  The move has been controversial, and no official attendance was announced for the night, but all seemed to agree the 10,000+ would have simply overwhelmed high school facilities.  A larger throng is expected today.

...Suttle World wishes today's games would return to their non neutral sites as its attendance is required this evening at next door Philips Arena to catch the Hawks, coming off a grueling road trip, to face LeBron and the Cavaliers.  Of course they're comps, and damn good ones that Suttle World and bride of Suttle World shall utilize to behold the boy wonder, and the upstart local guys.  Props to the Hawks for a good road win last night in Miami.  A few thousand ducats would appear left, but Suttle World would expect walk ups to make for a sell out---a most refreshing change of pace for pro hoops in the ATL, and one Suttle World will endure.  Put a good product on the floor, and Suttle World will go watch for free, especially if Bron is in the dark unis. 

...Great grandma Suttle World would be proud.  Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor is self-sufficient.  Well, it is at least when it come to good, old-fashioned half and half---a guilty indulgence of the Manor.  Borrowing from the old Reese's "you got peanut butter on my chocolate...," bride of Suttle World returned from her Friday of whipping the western world exclaiming in horror that during her visit to Costco on the way home she had mistakenly bought two quarts of heavy cream.  Coming to the rescue is idiot Suttle World, who ignored the newly opened gallon of milk in the chill chest earlier this week, only to purchase a second big ass jug.  The clever gentle surfer can see Suttle World working here.  Yes, well before dawn, with its very own hands, Suttle World mixed one part of the extra milk with one part of the aforementioned mistakenly purchased cream into a bottled water container that was opened and emptied just for the occasion.  There is indeed satisfaction in crafting things for your family with your own two hands.  Little Manor on the Prairie.

...Reflecting upon having devoted considerable time writing about coffee over the past two days causes Suttle World to have a greater of appreciation for Celestine Sibley, and exactly from where she was coming.  Was she ever married to Larry King?

...In case you missed it, as was the case for Suttle World, the show should be close to a repeat this evening, as an almost full moon makes its closest pass by the Earth in the past 15 years.  By all accounts, its well worth the looksie.  Yes, the gravitational pull is greater, with high tides running a foot or two higher than normal for full moon periods.  No, while it appears huge, its not THAT much closer.  There's an optical illusion deal that makes sense when Suttle World reads it, and makes no sense at all when Suttle World explains it.

...The ATL weekend TV sports lineup is here for the clicking.

...At this writing, Judge James Bodiford is preparing to sentence Brian Nichols.  Prosecutors, and those who cheered on their crusade for the death penalty have already received justice, when the jury took execution off the table yesterday by virtue of being hung 9-3 during the sentencing phase.  Nichols went on his shooting spree at the Fulton County Courthouse in March 2005.  The trial cost the taxpayers several million dollars, and got them right where they would have been had the death penalty never been put on the table:  Nichols serving the remainder of his life in a maximum security prison. 

...Both overland and by Lake Michigan, insurgents believed based in Gary, IN, have successfully occupied large sections of south Chicago---filling the power void in Illinois created by the continuing Blagojevich scandal.  A press conference has been called this morning by a group that claims to be a coalition of the rebels who are said intent on advancing on Springfield if unopposed by the state that is currently is in a state of suspended animation of dumbfounded awe at the stupidity of the governor.  Stay tuned to Suttle World for breaking details.

December 12, 2008    Tucker for the title

...For only the second time in the last 45 years, the Tucker Football Tigers have advanced to the Georgia state championship game, and kick off against arch rival, and long time nemesis, Marist for the whole enchilada at the Georgia Dome tonight at 8:00.  Sounds like condemnation by faint praise, but such is not the case.  Tucker High School, the 90 year old DeKalb county institution, currently resembling a third world nation following a level 7 earthquake in its rebuilding phase, has advanced to the semifinals seven of the last nine seasons, but failed to close the deal, and now find themselves in their first title game since 1963.  Marist is a regional foe in addition to being among of the best AAAA programs in the state, and gave Tucker their only loss of the year---an early season 37-0 beatdown.  It should be great.  It will be televised.  The AA final between Calhoun and Buford get things started this evening at 5:00.  Three games are on tap for tomorrow, with the AAAAA marquee matchup between Camden County and Peachtree Ridge is set for Saturday at 8:00.  All can be seen of Georgia Public Television.

...As is the case in most of the western world, coffee is the jet fuel that propels Suttle World.  The beverage is every bit as fascinating a study in history as it is impressive in the increased productivity which the brew has visited upon the world.  Admittedly, the protocol at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor rises above that of jamming some Maxwell House  into the percolator.  Instead each carafe is individually ground from decent quality beans, and then brewed with a Bunn machine that Suttle World finds true to the its hype in being superior to the standard issue Mr. Coffee drip contraption.  Above average/the call/the pale?  Perhaps, but Suttle World is flexible regarding its coffee consumption.  This is because Suttle World is also honest enough to admit its in this game for the caffeine.  The finest brewed cup of decaffeinated coffee makes about as much sense to Suttle World as non-alcoholic beer.   Why anyone would consume either is an absolute mystery to Suttle World.  "Just some water, please.  Yeah, the $2 a half liter bottle with the deer standing in the stream on the label.  The deer that just took a dump.  Yeah, that one."  Somehow this meandering gets us to Starbucks.  The record is clear that Suttle World is in the HDM camp with regard to the whole foam thing, and only patronizes the company when held hostage by an airport or travel park along the Jersey Turnpike.  Still, Suttle World has always admired the incredible success in getting throngs to stand in line in order to be compelled to learn and speak a foreign language for the privilege of paying $4 for a cup of coffee.  Genius---Scientologists just stand back and say, "damn!"  Suttle World isn't going to help the cause, but props to Starbucks---insufferability and all.  Same deal with the golden arches.  Sure. McDonald's is the poster child for the obese nation that is the US---probably the single biggest contributor, but only for those who signed up for the program, Suttle World would hasten to add.  Bringing all this disjointed stuff together are the current coffee wars.  Macs is calling out Starbucks with the "$4 is dumb" campaign.  This is great, and how will the Kumbaya crowd surrounding the barista respond?  Dunkin' Donuts (the heavyweight champion---leader in cups/day sales)  is piling on too with taste test spots punking Starbucks.  This is fun.  Suttle World is so easily amused.  Time for a refill too.

...Change in strategy.  Weary of remaining in line seated in a lawn chair outside the Treasury Department waiting for a bailout for the Bank of Suttle, Mitch Industries CFO, Dirk Bremen, has hired a homeless man to keep his que while Bremen saunters up Capitol Hill in an effort to get money directly from Congress.  Bremen will testify that Suttle World requires only a half billion dollar loan to ensure that its automobile division will not lose money or have to lay off any employees in the coming fiscal year.  Of course, there will be long difficult nights in the executive offices of Suttle Motors to make the whole thing work, but with good old fashioned American ingenuity, aided with a half billion dollar loan, it will persevere.

...Rested, tanned and ready---no, its not the return of Dick Nixon on the big screen.  Instead its another welcome visit from cuzin Matt as he and Kelly settle in from their recently completed American journey in the form of yet another stellar Bruner's Texas Take>>>>>>>>>

December 11, 2008    TV to die for

...Has the gentle surfer, after scanning TV offerings at any given time, come to the very depressing realization that such programming is the mother's milk of the American mind, and, as a result, felt a desire to swing from its own shower curtain in an attempt to escape such a dreadful reality?  Of course, the gentle surfer, by virtue of checking in this morning has not checked itself out (successfully), but the compulsion is understandable when faced with a spate of My Mother the Car marathon weekends.  Fear not, the Brits have the next best thing:  just watch others kill themselves on TV.  Yes, the master of the hit or miss, Rupert Murdoch, this time with his Sky TV's Real Lives digital channel, broadcast a live suicide of a terminally ill American who had traveled to Switzerland for the festivities Tuesday night.  Suttle World is well aware that such depictions have existed in more than sufficient numbers for many years, but cable television takes things to a whole new level. Suttle World believes the program to be a symptom of an ethos that would make Freud mad enough to toilet train his mother.

...The US Senate Committee on Environment & Public Works (EPW) webpage provides a more detailed account and the appropriate original source links, but suffice to say that sanity is running a rather successful rebellion---wreaking havoc at the UN global warming conference currently underway in Poland. A group of over 650 scientists have basically called out the naked emperor that is the notion of man made global warming as absolutely specious; and just dumber than dirt, Suttle World would hasten to add.  The group directly indicts the findings of previous UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change reports that basically buy into the whole Al Gore idiocy.  Snow fell in Houston yesterday---the earliest ever recorded for the southeastern Texas city.  Siberia recorded temperatures yesterday below -80°F.  Average global temperatures (data about as relevant as the average number in a phone book, but one in which the Gorites seem interested) have fallen each year for the past decade...

...We thank thee, oh Lord, for Gov. Blagojevich, and the tremendous amusement he continues to visit on these dark and dreary days.  "Now serving Candidate #5.  Candidate #5 to customer service window, please."

...Not only has Suttle World come around on the current Depression, it has also come around on the epileptic like spewing forth of freshly printed dollars by the federal government for various bail outs, loans and the like.  Grandma and grandpa signed on for the "New Deal."  Mom and pop cheered on the "Great Society, so Suttle World" will now reluctantly sign off on the "Great Bailout in the Decade Without a Name"---just so long as its guaranteed to keep the house of cards together another 30-35 years.  The aging process, like those of the other stages of life, brings with it fascinating phenomenon that are almost universal, such as Buicks, enlarged prostates and the joining of organizations such as AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) and SUCK (Screw the Up Coming Kids).  "Here son, have $15 TRILLION of debt.  Now you get to figure out how to pay it off.  Don't thank me.  We all had to not sacrifice through a lot of hard times to accumulate so much.  In my day we only had Rubik's Cubes and sudoku as brain teasers.

...Seems as though members of the Georgia General Assembly hooked up in Blairsville yesterday and were told by one Jim Williams, president of Southern Highlands Mortgage, that “in northeast Georgia...we’re in a housing depression.”  Upon learning of the news, Suttle World made the necessary phone calls, and an appropriate professional is scheduled to perform an evaluation on stately Roberts/Suttle Manor early next week to determine its emotional well being.  Suttle World is generally disinclined towards the administration of selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs---Zoloft, Paxil, Cymbalta et al), but if deemed necessary, the Manor will take its medication as prescribed.  Depression is treatable, and stately Roberts/Suttle Manor shall be treated.

...Stuff to do...Matt's up tomorrow!...14 shopping days left...be me cheesy.

December 10, 2008    Heap big Mit)hness in Springfield

...Suttle World nearly made comment yesterday regarding having seen/heard Illinois governor and former Polish porn star, Rod Blagojevich.  Old Rod was a guest on Cavuto Monday afternoon, expressing indignation that Bank of America had received bail out money and then pulled the line of credit from an Illinois door and window manufacturer that, in turn, closed its own doors (did they make them in house?), eliminating 200 jobs (more about that later).  Suttle World found the governor to sound more like the second in command at the United Window Makers Local #137 than the head of the fifth most populace state in the Union.  Inarticulate and unfocused---Suttle World thought it amusing, but now understands the governor's distraction.  Two word memo to Gov. Blagojevich:  Craig's List.  Sure, a scamster could sneak up on the governor's mansion and hit you over the head, pretending to be there to buy the Senate seat, but, generally speaking, its a more anonymous means of selling stuff, including appointments to high office.  EBay makes you use a credit card to sell.   What a stooge.  What was the final asking price?  Did he ever get paid?  If so, who paid the most?  Remember the small Midwestern college president fired earlier this year after pictures of him beer bonging with bikini clad co-eds surfaced?  Blagojevich makes college dude look like freakin' Solomon.  There is a fine line between hubris and stupidity---this particular incident may lurk in the tiny zone where the two overlap.  This "a higher spiritual plane" of Mit)hness.  Mit)h Blagojevich???---distant cousin, inquiring and vacant minds...?????

...Back to Bank of America...Pretty straight forward:  BOA gets billions in bail out money from the feds and summarily shuts off the line of credit to Republic Windows and Doors that then immediately shuts down, and fires 200 employees of the Goose Island plant without any severance or unpaid vacation and sick leave.  Obviously, BOA is a greedy corporate financial entity that sucks taxpayer dollars from the Washington trough, then turns around and causes a factory to close, and puts 200 families on the streets for Christmas.  Maybe not---a cut and paste of recent testimony on Capitol Hill follows:
"Bank:  Mr. Government, we sure could use some money, please.
Government:  Why?
Bank:  Cause you told us to lend a lot of money to people who couldn't pay it back.  We did, and now we're broke.
Government:  Oh, OK, you can have a few billion, but don't do that anymore.
Bank:  OK.  Thanks you, Mr. Government.
Government:  Adjourned."
And so the Treasury cut checks for BOA and a lot of other banks (Dirk Bremen is still waiting for the Bank of Suttle), and the banks tried to go back to business, only this time with an eye towards weeding out non performing assets/bad loans.  This brings us back to Republic Windows and Doors---a company that has been teetering (dare Suttle World say "hinged?") on the brink on insolvency for quite some time.  If BOA were confident Republic could repay the loans/credit line, this story never would have happened, unless BOA was repeating the behavior of loaning money to folks who might well not pay it back.  If the gentle surfer is a now sitting-in Republic employee, all of this matters little.  If the gentle surfer is among the 299.999.800 in the country that is not, and is participating in the many bail out programs, its probably good business.

...Best wishes to Seve Ballesteros, who left a Madrid hospital yesterday, and appears headed for a full recovery following a diagnosis and treatment for brain cancer.   Ballesteros writes about the ordeal on his own website.

...The entirety of north Georgia, including stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, is under various severe weather watches and warnings this morning as much needed heavy rain makes for a washout Wednesday.

...Suttle World may be coming around on this Depression thing.  If one of the holiday movie releases being pimped the most surrounds the David Frost/Richard Nixon interviews, things could be getting pretty bad.  The flick may be fine, and Suttle World may well catch it at some point down the line (this won't be the trip of the decade to a theater movie---believing this one will translate reasonably well to the small screen).  The bigger issue is that no one under 50 even remembers that the interviews took place, much less cares.  Nixon may have been a sympathetic character.  Nixon was a paranoid asshole.  One thing Nixon certainly was not was compelling---the stuff of which Suttle World believed Hollywood blockbusters were made.  Can a full length feature film on the fall of Spiro Agnew be far behind?  Come to think of it, isn't Windshield Wiper Man out there now?  OK, things are in a definite steep decline.

December 9, 2008    NBC staggers

...Times must be tough indeed, and Suttle World simply dwells in a sheltered, oxygen deprived environment.  The current state of affairs in TV Land would appear to have NBC on the bottom of the pile.  Suttle World knows not of such things---being among the throngs who, aside from sports, have abandoned network programming altogether.  With that critical piece of context in place, it is discovered that this morning it only required 79 words to get to the point/lead take:  NBC Chief Executive Officer, Jeff Zucker, has floated some truly genius ideas facing the need to cut $500 million in spending.  First, issues with the editorial face of NBC News aside, Suttle World sends out a hearty congratulations to NBC---a subsidiary of General Electric.  The gentle surfer will note that the object of the game here is to CUT $500 million, not grovel in front of Congress for  money, nor pass Go, simply eliminate half a billion in spending to gain profitability (the purpose for a business' existence).  What a concept!  Second, Zucker has sent shockwaves through the entertainment world by suggesting the network may cut back on its now 22 hours of weekly prime time programming.  Less is indeed more in this scenario.  Reduced network programming results in a measurable decline in the General Suck Index (GSI) as well as cause for the Doomsday Clock to be dialed back. 

...With all due respect to the nearly 60,000 names carefully inscribed on the wall in DC, Suttle World strongly suspects that when all is said and done, Hank Paulson will play the role of William Westmoreland  in the movie version this short chapter of American history (the current Great Depression II/we're all going to die).

...There are 34 bowl games on the schedule.  Suttle World is going out on the limb, speculating that 68 schools/teams will participate in said 34 games.  By Suttle World's last count, there were 137 (give or take) schools/teams that competed in NCAA Division I football.  Even those who hail from say, Oklahoma State, might notice that there could be some mathematical difficulties involved when a team must have six wins against Division I opponents to be "bowl eligible."  The gentle surfer is urged to gird its loins, as bowl season kicks off Saturday, December 20 with four big games, beginning when Wake Forest takes on equally awful Navy in that family favorite the EagleBank Bowl, played at that sunny, perennial winter destination:  Washington, DC.  Meanwhile, the Treasury Department announced yesterday that EagleBank  has received a $38 million "capital injection" from Uncle Sam. 

...For the gentle surfer keeping score at home, the mighty fighting Colonials of George Washington University failed to collect their seasonal upset against Maryland Sunday at the Verizon Center in the nation's capital, falling to 4-2 on the young season.  Up next, Harvard at the Smith Center Saturday followed by in town rival American before heading to the left coast to take on Sacramento State---a short stop before embarking to Hawaii and the 43rd Rainbow Classic.  Atlantic 10 play begins in 2009.  Meanwhile, the Colonial Babes stand at 6-3 on the year, with two of the losses against top ten teams.

...The notion of activists encouraging those so inclined to "call in gay" today in solidarity with International Human Rights Day or some such lovely UN designation is in itself unremarkable.  That said:  the fall out/resultant stories of the "event/movement" has bladder busting amusement possibilities.

...Quick hometown sports takes...Suttle World is very pleased to see the Braves organization active in the offseason.  It has never been clear as to what exactly Liberty Media's plans for the ball club were in terms of the product they put on the field.  All this shopping is a a good sign.  #14 Tech gets a nice draw---playing in the Chik-Fil-A/Peach Bowl at the Georgia Dome against LSU in what is traditionally one of the best match ups of the post season---in its usual late/7:30 New Year's Eve position.   The 12-7 upstart Hawks travel to Houston tonight to begin a back breaking week that features the Spurs in San Antonio tomorrow, and the Mavs in Dallas Friday, only to return home to face LeBron and the Cavs at Philips Saturday.  The Thrashers cannot suck enough, holding the third lowest point total in the NHL a third of the way through the regular season.  The Gwinnett Gladiators are playing just over .500 minor league hockey, and look like a playoff club again this season  Tech hoops appears to continue to rebuild and NIT bound once again.  The Falcons are actually a topic of discussion in playoff scenarios.  Upset Tampa Bay, and the remainder of the schedule isn't that tough. (@Minnesota and St. Louis).  Again, the Falcons making the post season this year would be the greatest single season achievement in the 42 year history of Atlanta pro/big league sports.  This just in: the Lions still suck.

December 8, 2008    Bowl Championship Suckfest set

...First, Suttle World stands proudly behind Gene, the Caucasian, who pushed on Saturday afternoon's SEC title game, even if the page is still in need of update.  Eleven points were to be had, and eleven was the difference in what must have been one of the best college ball games of the decade.  Suttle says must have been because it spent the lion's share of the game hurtling through the darkness of a late autumnal evening to the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ, and failed to see the telecast---relying instead on intermittent radio reports.

...If the gentle surfer had this being the time to beat the BCS about the head and shoulders, as the great Warner Wolf would say, you lose!  Res ipsa loquitor, and what is the Latin word for Mit)hness?  Cincinnati is in one of the ten slots (eight of which are meaningless), and the team that beat the team that will play Florida for the title is subjugated to a re-match against Missouri who they beat by three touchdowns in October.  And once again, as traditional as stopping by the Firestone dealership to pick up this year's Christmas album, the bloated bowl season will be background noise for other holiday doings.  Memo to ad buyers:  you're being had.  The Nielson numbers are unreliable, because while the TV may be tuned in, no one is paying attention to the game, much less your spots.  Get a real tourney working, and everyone pays wrapped attention to every second of each of the seven games necessary in an eight team format.  Suttle World is much too fatigued by weekend travel to beat a dead horse this morning.  Suttle World does bring something to the table in lieu of the seasonal whining.  Change the rule (all Warner all the time)!  This year's BCS fiasco was largely a function of the mis/wrong match in the Big 12 championship game.  Any of the super conferences with a championship game should add a rule that allows for two top five ranked teams to play each other in the final game, regardless of division standings/usual eligibility.  Solves a lot of problems, no?

...This just in:  A joint statement issued by the Defense and Homeland Security Departments reports that no Americans will be forced into subway tunnels and basements tonight to avoid Nazi bombing raids due to the current financial crisis.  The metaphor is deliberate.  Because of travel Suttle World did not publish mention  yesterday of the solemn 67th anniversary of Japan's savage, unprovoked attack against the United States Navy at Pearl Harbor.

...Regular unleaded busted the $1.40 price level in the ATL over the weekend, with the lowest related sighting at $1.36.  Suttle World speculates that "environmental" restrictions temporarily lifted in lieu of the September shortages have yet to be reinstated.

...All the stars aligned perfectly, except the band didn't show.  Saturday, the hajj to Mecca began.  It was also the fifth anniversary (1st weekend in December) of the Honeymoon Hajj, and 35th anniversary of the CBGB's opening ("But the man there said the music wouldn't play").  Suttle World could have also booked a last minute air fair for $160 r/t (ATL-EWR including taxes, fees, BS), and picked from an array of 3 stars at the $100 level---Faster and Louder and cheaper if staying in Jersey/Newark.  As an aside, these are unheard of prices, especially for NYC in December, highlighting a dynamic to the current economy unnoticed by many.  Euros are staying home, because the economies suck even worse where they are.  The cheap dollar is not bringing in hoards like tour busses to outlet malls as has been the case for the past several years, making rooms scarce and even more expensive than usual in the Big Apple.  Anyway, despite all these signs from God that The Dictators should have played a couple break even gigs in Brooklyn this past weekend, it didn't happen.  Suttle World would only ask that the typical 14 day advance purchase rule be kept in mind should any inclination arise.  It'll be fun.  You won't lose money!  You're old people with little to do on any given night, and all involved would have no objection to making shows Early Bird Specials if so desired.

...Jan Kemp, the best thing to ever happen to the University of Georgia athletics department, left this mortal coil in an Athens, GA nursing home Friday due to complications from Alzheimer's.  She was 59??!! 

December 6, 2008    Tucker to face rival Marist for AAAA title

...The Tucker Tigers put a beat down on Griffin last night 34-0, and advance to the Georgia AAAA championship game next week in the Georgia Dome against arch rival Marist, a 19-17 winner over Rome in their semifinal contest.  The ever inept Suttle World staff had neglected to remind that the whole Dome deal had been changed in the past several years, and now features just the five championship games as opposed to over a decade of hosting 10 semifinal games (five classifications A-AAAAA) in a two day affair.  A rundown on the Georgia championship matchups for next week is here.  Things did not go as well for the teams proximate to the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ where both Hendersonville and East Henderson went down in their respective state semifinal playoff games.

...Shop around, as many as 10.5-11 big Tide points are to be had at some online sportsbooks.  True believers get an equally astonishing +$290 on the money line.  That's damn near 3:1 on the undisputed, undefeated #1 team in the country on a neutral field!  End the current financial crisis this afternoon.  Suttle World has no interest in the game's outcome, excepting an expected competitive contest.  Suttle World would be equally anxious to take Florida and 10 if the board read that way.  4:00 EST.  FYI---email Suttle World if the gentle surfer is having difficulty finding 11 points.  10 will suffice, but 11 is 10% better, and still at -$110.

...This is quite likely the last paragraph to ever be punched out in Suttle World that regards OJ Simpson, except as a rare infamous reference.  33 years with at least nine to serve is what the judge's clerk says, meaning that if the very 63 year old looking Simpson ever sees the outside of a jail or prison again, it will be as a footnote or abject freak.  Suttle World does have doubts as to whether Suttle World would have been sentenced as harshly, but the operative term is "nine to serve," and if nine are served...Suffice to say it passes the Suttle World sentencing test:  are the streets safer with dude separated from polite society?   The pattern of violent criminal behavior would appear to be pretty well established.  Bail pending appeal (and Suttle World is not aware of any reversible error in these proceedings) has been denied, so goodnight OJ.

...Shout out to Mit)h.  By the use of his Kroger discount card, Suttle World filled up for a mere $1.46/gallon earlier this week.

...Any complaints regarding anything about the Falcons for the remainder of this season can be directed to the Customer Service Booth at Aisle 119.

...Brief travel may limit a Sunday edition of Suttle World, ergo it will devote some time today to getting the Gene, the Caucasian, page up to speed (later).  No credit will be taken on the balance sheet for those games not previously listed or denoted as locks in which Suttle World is 4-1 on the season.  Suttle World will also almost certainly once again forgo a NFL pick this week---deferring to the aforementioned travel and the absence of anything of real interest on the pro board this weekend.  Similar preoccupations may also interrupt publication during the coming week.  Let not the gentle surfer's heart be troubled.  It a temporary state of affairs---compliant with logistical simplicity.

December 5, 2008    Friday cancelled due to economic crisis

...The leading hosting service of Suttle World (for the techno unsavvy such as Suttle World, this is the company that serves as a conduit to transmit these sage rants from Suttle World Headquarters' PC to a similar computer like device near the gentle surfer) has announced immediate massive server layoffs due to the current financial crisis.  As a result, Suttle World is unsure if today's publication, or the first Friday of December in general, will carry forward because of the credit crunch.  Suttle World would typically advise the gentle surfer to check back early and often in such a dire situation for updates, but the nature of the circumstances may make doing so impossible.  For what its worth, Merrill Lynch has predicted that oil will continue to fall to $25/barrel.  The gentle surfer will readily recognize Merrill Lynch offices.  They're the ones with the euphoric throngs doing all that naked dancing thing out front.  The behavior is attributable to no Merrill client having lost a dime over the past quarter due to the investment house's sage advice.  Consequently, the gentle surfer is urged to place special emphasis on their prediction regarding the future price of crude.  Of course the last three digits of any number chosen at random from the Omaha phone book could be accurate as well, but such an exercise doesn't carry the weight that does Merrill Lynch (whose CEO, John Thain, just happens to be a Harvard MBA)...The November jobs report released by the Labor Department this morning is dire indeed, but Suttle World sees this as being quite likely the bottom of the trough, even with next month's changing of the guard...The Gohmert tax elimination/stimulus package is still "the smartest guy in the room."

...The preliminary final FEC reports have been filed, and the Obama campaign reports another record month in October---having raised an astounding $105 million, bringing the grand total of donations for the Illinois senator's run for the White House to $750 million.  Stop the music!  At last a solution to the global financial crisis---Barack Obama can simply continue his campaign to raise the trillions necessary to bail out every private entity this side of Latvia.  Sure, it would take several decades of campaigning, but this is change Suttle World can believe in  (judicial notice is served that Suttle World did not coin a phrase that in a preposition ends).

...Football...High school kids tonight.  Locally, the Tucker Tigers "host" Griffin in their AAAA semifinal matchup at James R. Hallford Stadium (the former Memorial Stadium), and from the Suttle World western North Carolina satellite HQ, for the first time ever, two local schools Hendersonville and East Henderson High Schools play semifinal games tonight as well---both on the road against different opponents (if they could both only play the same opponent each of the "locals" would be heavy favorites).  With regard to tomorrow's much anticipated SEC title game:  Alabama hammered #1 Georgia.  Texas bitch slapped #1 Oklahoma, and then was mauled by Texas Tech that was beaten like a baby seal by Oklahoma.  Aside from the obvious of the absence of a playoff system, the moral to the story is that there was a big favorite in each of these games, and none of them covered---hell, only one won!!!!  Florida is spotting now #1 Alabama 10 freakin points tomorrow afternoon.  Take them!  This would be lock #6 on the season, and Gene, the Caucasian (a page in need of update), is 4-1 to date, despite being in the red by forcing a pick of the week.  No problem, it'll be even on paper come Saturday night.  The NFL waits for later into the weekend.

...Nineteen shopping days left...now let's all get out there and stimulate.  Free shipping today only on Suttle World Merch.

December 4, 2008    Harvard endowment tumbles; Suttle World on suicide watch

...Harvard University, that august institution that has prepared so many brilliant captains of commerce to assist in a meltdown of the global economy, has seen the value of its endowment decline by a quarter over the course of the past quarter.  How is this possible when such smart folks are handling the cash?  A bitter pill to swallow, but if the current economic tumult can make some inroads in ending the pseudo-nepotism that has resulted in aristocratic inbreeds at the helm of Fortune 500 companies, the treatment regime will have been well worth it.  The one truly startling observation for Suttle World since the beginning of September, is that many at the top of the business world seem as intellectually vapid as those on Capitol Hill.  "We lose money on every sale, but we make it up in volume."  And exactly what is involved again in expatriating to Ireland or New Zealand? 

...On a related point, Johnny GM says if it goes down, its taking the rest of us with it.  Works for Suttle World---the amusement value of watching all 300 million of us cram into a Chevette to roll over the cliff should be well worth the certain death a world without General Motors would be.  The Gentle Surfer will remember that it was GM that washed up on the shores of what is now known as Virginia to carve out the Jamestown colony, defeated to British at Valley Forge and two centuries later, felled the Soviet Union.  The doomsayers are probably right, if GM goes, the US economy will be without a behemoth money losing operation that has placed an incredible drag on what remains of the entire nation's manufacturing sector.

...Keeping it real as always, Suttle World repeats its declaration that India and Pakistan having an exchange of nuclear weapons during the holiday season might well be the best thing to happen to both countries since independence.  Sudden significant population reduction for both nations is probably the single variable that would set the course for future prosperity.  Malthusian theory on steroids, if you will.

...Suttle World has had some contact, but it has not included the final odometer reading from the tote board of the Bruners just completed a multi-month foray across the fruited plane.  Ed McMahon is expected to make an official announcement in downtown Coldspring this afternoon (Ed works cheap these days---the financial crisis, you know).  Sources close to Suttle World indicate the total could exceed 8,000 miles.  Regardless, now finally home again, cuzin Matt reports in with yet another stellar installment in the lone shining Suttle World regular feature >>>>>>>>>>>

...Quick note, though released as being produced by Apollo C. Vermouth, SOTD was, in fact, produced by Sir Paul McCartney.  An "official announcement" was made when the song charted in 1969, and no doubt helped propel the dumb ditty to number 5 in the UK.

December 3, 2008    Saxby's easy win ensures GOP 41

...As expected, Republican Saxby Chambliss kept his Georgia Senate seat yesterday---handily winning against DNC creation Jim Martin.  This ensures at least 41 GOP members in the world's most exclusive club with the race in Minnesota still being recounted.  Does it really matter?  No, but at least the few who pay 85%+ of the freight will feel a little better.

..."The financial crisis"---its become "the system's down" d'jour.  From bank failures to car batteries that don't crank in the morning, everything can be blamed on the current financial crisis.  Sorry I'm late boss, the financial crisis clogged traffic.  I'm so sorry we lost your husband on the table Mrs. Jones, the financial crisis just overwhelmed us during the appendectomy.  Well, the city of Atlanta has announced the elimination of over 200 jobs and the closing of 22 rec centers citywide because of the current financial crisis.  Good for the financial crisis.  First, Atlanta proper has about twice as many employees per capita than other American cities of similar size.  Second, rec centers aren't a proper function of government.  Wanna play ping pong?  Buy a freakin table!  Can't afford a table?  Get your neighbors and friends to pitch in on one.  Don't have the government go door to door shoving a gun at people demanding money against their will to purchase your table tennis gear!

...If Hooters can become a very successful business by having scantily clad babes peddling chicken wings, how much money is there in having naked chicks sell Ollie Burgers?  Another genius public domain business model courtesy of Suttle World. 

...Its official---loveable radio nerd/syndicated consumer guru Clark Howard will not run for mayor of Atlanta next year.  Howard made mention of his decision this morning on flagship station WSB.  Tough break for the city---its last shot at any semblance of leadership for the foreseeable future, albeit the city of Atlanta proper becoming a less significant political player in the whole sprawling metro ATL deal.

...Related and belated shout out to cuzin Larry who made a welcome very rare appearance with spouse Peggy at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor over the holiday weekend.  Among many items discussed was the resident from very north Gwinnett commenting on finishing touches being put on the new ball park that will host the Richmond cum Gwinnett Braves next year.  Stop the madness, and consider Suttle World's proposal.  Ugly though it may be (and we're talking Newark ugly!), Gwinnett County is now at 1 million in population has a vibrant economy in and of itself, and is seeing gang activity at record levels.  Other parts of Georgia (the largest/most acres state east of the Mississippi) aren't as lucky, and are lacking.  Suttle World says swap out Laurens and Gwinnett as shown on the accompanying map (click to enlarge).  There isn't shit there, and that shortage could be put to a screeching halt by planting Gwinnett on Laurens' current footprint.  Meanwhile, the ATL gets a much needed heaping helping of  absolutely nothing.  Its change for the future.  Play ball!

December 2, 2008    "They were such quiet types"

...A nice quick fantasy to start the gentle surfer's day.  Suttle World can envision one of those "oh, I remember him" moments some 20 years hence, when regular programming is interrupted to report the discovery of three dozen bodies in a Minnesota home.  Each would be believed to have been dead several days.  Each wore a shroud, Nikes and seemed to have eaten the same pudding like substance in what appears to be a mass suicide.  Early reports from neighbors will indicate they believe the group, that had purchased the house just a couple months prior, was a cult headed by Al Franken, a long forgotten, not very funny comic, who lost a narrow election for the Senate in 2008.  We now return to Star Trek, the 48th Generation.  Its the Christmas season---have a little fun, and nothing would be funnier than Franken losing a legit recount (Democrats, or the Democratic Farm Labor Party to be more precise, has run the show in MN since FDR) by a handful of votes as appears to be where the Reality Express is headed.

...Using real round numbers, let's revisit and refine the genius proposal from U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX).  First, that's pronounced Go'-mert, as in Gohmert Pyle, USMC.  Gohmert is floating the notion of suspending all federal income and Social Security (FICA) taxes for the first two months of 2009.  Doing such would "cost" roughly $360 billion in revenue---a fraction of bail out and economic stimulus proposals now being discussed by the current administration, the incoming administration and Congress/Pelosi. Gohmert's proposal is to not pass the various spending packages, and instead just let folks who earned the money keep it.  It would be cheaper, and have an infinitely greater impact than lending bucks to Ford.  Alas, it is doomed, for such a tax holiday would have to come to an end, a tax revolt would ensue, and that's bad for those in the incumbency business.  For now, Suttle World will settle for Paulson and Bernanke just keeping their yaps shut.  The DOW drops a point for every word uttered publicly.  Shut the hell up!

...All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray as Georgians take a walk on a winter's day to polls today determine the fate of western civilization as we know it.  As the gentle surfer is no doubt aware, incumbent Republican Saxby Chambliss is in a runoff with idiot Democrat Jim Martin for Georgia's Senate seat (Georgia is the only state in he nation that requires a majority vote to win, and Libertarians always do well in statewide races---typically capturing 4-5%).  Should Franken prevail in Minnesota, cloture rests on the outcome of the Georgia contest.  Re-elect Saxby , and the filibuster remains a powerful weapon to stop the Socialist stampede.  A Martin upset win, and Democrats have the magic 60 seats in the Senate, and its Happy Days all over again, only this time with Billy Carter as the Fonz.

...For the record, Gregor Mendel genetically altered, and bioengineered food plants.  If its good enough for a 19th century monk, its good enough for Suttle World, though Suttle World does see the rational self interest in locally grown purchasing habits on a number of sensible economic levels.

...Just because its cool.  At $17.50 a pair (including delivery), they may not be cost efficient, but cool nonetheless.  Click for details.  Suttle World cares not a rodent's posterior about the "eco-friendly batteries"---the energy has to come from somewhere!  Still, its cool, and potentially convenient---not a Propel Pocket Fisherman, but what is?

...December begins with the Falcons and Hawks a collective 18-10.  Very few Decembers in the ATL have begun that well over the past 40 years in which their records could be combined.

December 1, 2008    Suttle World's triumphant return

...In observation, gentle surfers in the most northern portions of the state will have either stocked up on their French Toast supplies, or be prepared to ride out what could amount to as much as two inches of snow (on mailboxes, grass and hedges---the ground is 45°+) pummels the region.

...Rested, tanned, and ready, Suttle World bids all a belated happy Thanksgiving to all.  A caravan of six linked by varying degrees of genetic, legal or not bright enough to know better connection departed stately Roberts/Suttle Manor on Thursday morning---making a 24 hour foray to the Suttle World western North Carolina HQ.  Transient circumstances, time constraints and a general lethargy regarding food prep left the feast making to the nice people of Cracker Barrel who did a fine job and are now the source of great ambivalence regarding the holiday.  On one hand, there is the amusement to be gained from either observing the pathetic efforts or doting admiration of the culinary short bus crowed as it surrounds Thanksgiving dinner preparation.  On another hand (we are talking rural western NC here), if one can call a couple days in advance, show up at the appointed time on Thursday, settle up and drive around to the back of the building where a smiling employee will proudly present the patron with a sturdy box filled with cuisine that, if presented in proper serving gear, would impress grandma...  $60 fed 7 in a two hour window from departure to the local franchise to final clean up and garbage disposal.

...India...Suttle World is unsure if it is typical ugly/ignorant Americanism at work here, a function of a nation with a population of over a BILLION, poor press coverage or a combination of these and yet unknown variables that leaves Suttle World as unsure about what the hell happened in the former Bombay last week this morning as was the case when bedlam burst loose Wednesday, excepting a more precise body count.  Suttle World is uncertain if what transpired was even a true terrorist attack or some well organized anarchistic riot (as was the not infrequently the case in NYC about 100 years ago).  Regardless, the events were tragic enough to ratchet up the nerveo'meter with the reinforced realization that the the true goat humping terrorist organizations seem to prefer periods of transition to launch many of their cowardly missions.

...Football...Yes, the BCS is just out.  Yes, the BCS is dumber than dirt.  Yes, this is good.  A more salient question might be directed at the Big 12 conference who hung their tie breaker on BCS rankings that four out of five dentists agree is outrageously flawed.  This exponential stupidity now has Oklahoma playing in the league's championship game next week against Missouri (the fourth or fifth best team in the conference).  Meanwhile, Bama/Florida (SEC title game) should be a great ball game, and has a civilized 4:00 start Saturday downtown at the Dome.  Friday, the Tucker Tigers, who will make their sixth appearance in the past nine years in the Georgia High School Association Class AAAA division's football semifinals,  host Griffin.  This will mark the first year in over a decade that the 10 semi final games will not been played out at the Georgia Dome.  The Falcons are as good as any other mediocre NFC team.  This franchise making the playoffs would be a bigger achievement than the '91 Braves.  Fantasy football has come to a mathematical conclusion for this season in and around stately Roberts/Suttle Manor.

...The economy...More later, but U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert, (R-TX) has proposed that the U.S. government stimulate the country's economy by collecting no federal income tax this year.  The congressman sees it this way:  by his math, the feds have promised as much as $7.2 trillion in economic aid over the past several months.  Federal income tax brings in roughly $1.2 trillion a year, so what's the big deal?  Dude who makes $5,000 a year would have an extra $1500 bucks with which to play (buy stock, pay off debt, fix teeth, etc...).  Of course, it'll never happen, but Suttle World likes watching Gohmert work.

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