Archives---April, 2005

April 30, 2005

...A good time had by all was the consensus among the youngins with whom I spoke following the first ever Tucker Middle School 8th grade pseudo formal dance last night.  Nephew Ridge, decked out in his black and white finery, and pictured before the event at the previous link, was of course front and center to take in the festivities.  And while in the nephew department all were most flattered that Ridge was chosen as one of the 30 favorite students by his 8th grade faculty.  Those 30 kids will be the school's guests at this Tuesday's Braves game against Florida.  Throw in passing grades across the board, and what's not to like?

...Memo to Gorf Rats:  no excuses for tomorrow's Spring Training get together.  Be there or be beaten like a baby seal with a Wiffle bat.

...Belated props to my new friend Elk Head or Caribou or some such.  The young man had the misfortune of changing his stage name to Manitoba, over which our hero, The Handsome One, took exception in the form of a law suit upside the head.  But being the hell of a guy that I am, I tracked down Yak and bumped him off a concilatory email:
        

----- Original Message -----

From: Gene Suttle

To: dan@caribou.fm

Sent: Monday, April 18, 2005 5:16 PM

Subject: identidy theft

Message sent by Gene Suttle.

 "aggressive litigious behavior," indeed. See when you steal other folks stuff/name they can get a bit testy, especially when you're dealing with the face of the world's greatest rock n roll band. Thieve my stuff and a very nice lawyer will whack down on your pee-pee too.

I wish you nothing but success in whatever it is you do, but my unsolicited advice is that you don't mess with the Handsome One, as "They're all going under the THUNDER OF [THE!] MANITOBA!"

DFFD,
Gene Suttle
President & co-Founder
Hillbilly Dictators Jihad
genesuttle.com

Sent to you from the Caribou website.    That brought the following response.

Nice one bud.

 

dan  ---  Very pithy gnu;  no doubt your unmistakably Canadian side splitting  humor carries over into whatever it is you do.  "You wanna be a big dog?/Down on the street./But when they smell a drop of blood,/The sharks gotta eat!"  How's that David Gates collaborative project going, Moose?  Bet fear not buffalo head, I'll be sure to wake up your mama in a little bit and make sure she sees your 15 seconds of fame here on Suttle World.  Go ahead llama boy, you can have the first swing.  What, you gonna knock my teeth out?

...Speaking of teeth, mine are still only fetching a penny in their eBay auction.  Now come on boys and girls, we can do better than that.  Recovery continues nicely with little to complain about---unfortunate given I could have played this for a whole lot more than the pity it has drawn to date.

April 29, 2005

...At this writing my mouth hole is just a few hours short of being three days since climbing out of the surgeon's chair with the admonishment that today and tomorrow would be the worst in terms of pain and swelling; but so far so good.  The pain level hasn't reached my expectations to date, as the pill count in my Percocet bottle would indicate.  Also, the addition of about 50 mgs of dyphenhydramine/Benadryl to my late night snack has allowed me to resolve some of the sleep depravation issues at work when the tooth work was affected.  Meanwhile, the auction for my teeth continues on eBay.  Check out the auction yourself.  A mere penny is the current winning bid with 5 days to go.  WWTFD (What would the Tooth Fairy Do?); well I'm certain that after some reflection on the matter that the gentle surfer will bid accordingly.

...Tonight, live from DeKalb County, its the first ever Tucker Middle School 8th grade pseudo formal (no tuxes or dinner jackets, but everyone in black and white sans jeans, etc...).  Nephew Ridge finished assembling his ensemble yesterday afternoon and appears ready to represent with the best of em.  My man is catching on in the girl department as well.  When asked if was going to take a date, the young man pondered the question and answered, "I would, but I don't want to buy anyone else's ticket; and there'll plenty of girls there anyway..."  Good show, old boy!  Its gratifying the see some of Suttle rubbing off on the lad.  And yes, we've already covered the drought months of December through mid February---during which times one terminates a relationship or holds of on its germination to escape Christmas and Valentine's gifts.  Pics of spiffy Ridge forthcoming.

...The even greater than usual level of self absorption over the past week has taken the spotlight off the Herculean efforts of the world's greatest wife, Yolanda.  She's been wading in poop up past her elbows for nearly a month to affect her law firm's office move this weekend.  Doesn't sound like a big deal and really isn't for most involved, given the movers will do all the heavy lifting.  However most doesn't include Yolanda.  While others worry about their lucky pencil successfully making the transition, Ms. Roberts has been ensconced with ensuring that all the Q248 jacks, with double overhead cams and Yazoo Squelch suspension to make that network handle tight in the turns while keeping a close eye on the input/output ratios from the cyberkinetic palindromic regulator, etc...Moving is today and Saturday, with a good week of burn in to monitor before the whole thing can be called a success, and she can slowly back away from the ledge.

...Just some idle thoughts about my recent roadie to beautiful Statesville, NC ("Crossroads of the World"/I-77 and I-40 intersect).  Per usual:  South Carolina proved  to be a disappointment.  First the leg north was proving most fortuitous as bladder capacity  reached critical mass in Gaffney, SC.  Home of the worlds biggest ass....err peach in the form of a 1 million gallon water tank, there were no Eiffel Tower like souvenirs of the peach butt to be had.  One local overheard my inquires and stated "we didn't want the damn thing to begin with."   Most disappointing but I was able to carry on.  Then there's exit #45 on interstate 77 that is marked "Barium Springs."  The handle causes the mind to reel with unsavory visions of (well you get the idea...) and exactly who in the hell thought such a name to be a good idea in the first place?  Even more disturbing is that another sign for exit 42 is marked Barium Springs Home for Children.  I would have stopped in to say hi to Oliver Twist, but was pressed for time.  The trek home, that began at 3:10 Monday morning marked the first time I've ever used the sun visor for shade from the MOON!  September 22, 1999 was supposed to be the biggest brightest moon in many moons, but it didn't have much or anything on the Planter's Moon of April.  I did look around for some moon block, but was unsuccessful in finding same, so I just adjusted my welder's mask and headed on down the highway.  The trip home was also an excellent time to catch up on news missed during the hectic caretaking weekend.  And it was a good thing I did, because one can learn so much by watching and/or listening.  Just before departure the news bunny on Headline News at the time,  was reporting on the unseasonably cool weather and winter precip that fell in the mid west.  She concluded by saying "Meteorologists say snow storms this late in the year are rare."  Meanwhile, while approaching Atlanta, WSB's own Bob Cox reported on the worst train wreck Japan had witnessed in four decades that claimed over 100 lives, wrapping it up with:  "the cause of the crash is under investigation."  You just can't sneak anything by those fastidious Japanese folks.  The Palmetto Bug state leg me down again on the return trip as I discovered one could not buy lottery tickets prior to 7:00am, but my chagrin was eased with the knowledge that the same folk who pulled the rug out from under hundreds of residents who put their life savings into roadside video casinos, by re-criminalizing the suckers only 5 years after their approval for use are now protecting me from myself in buying a lottery tickets in the wee-wee hours of the morning.  No need to get into the fact that regular lottery players have the mathematical acumen of a turnip.

...Looks as though the pseudo postponement of Wiffle Atlanta Spring Training will come off again Sunday.  Though I doubt I'll be knocking it around any, I do look forward to finally meeting my buddy JK and the rest of the kids and old farts involved.  Not too late to sign up as a single or a team.  Contact JK thought the Wiffle Atlanta site.

...Time to make the tee times---at least for the Gwinnett Gladiators who were eliminated from the Kelly Cup playoffs by Charlotte last night 3-0.  The Checkers win the conference semi-final series 3 games to 1.  Still a good year of fun, cheap hockey.   We'll be back next season.

...Given the stellar pace of my recovery I should be able to formally declare war on the appropriate parties as we continue to get our neighborhood ducks in a row in fighting another "high density" housing development in the overtaxed hood.  Memo to DeKalb commissioners and heads of various departments:  To paraphrase The Dictators, "you don't know me, but you will!"

...Props to cuzin Bill for stopping by for a short while yesterday morning.  It was most appreciated company despite my zoning in and out of attempted conversations.  Now:  "LET'S GET READY TO WIFFLE!"

April 28, 2005

...Woohoo!  Slept in til 6:30 or so this morning and not ouching as much as I might have anticipated.  Still vewy vewy tiwed; and a bit testy by extension.  Both residents and staff at stately Roberts/Suttle Manor were forewarned of my being a bit irritable prior to and after the getting back to the Manor yesterday afternoon.  Tomorrow and Saturday should be the worst, or at least is the norm, but we all know that Suttle World and the norm seldom meet, show we shall dread and see.  Thanks for the many cyber shout outs for well wishes.  Look for my freshly picked teeth at an eBay auction near you.  Details to follow.

...The Gwinnett Gladiators face possible elimination after losing 4-1 last night in Charlotte.  Game 4 is set for Saturday night in North Carolina.  A Gladiator win and the fifth and deciding game will be here Saturday at 7:35.

...Still to come (hey. moving a little slow around here.  You got a problem with that?) are accounts and observations of the roadie to Statesville last weekend; and a newer, lean mean Suttle World is in the works.  This down time may actually afford the chance to affect same.  In the interim, Tootie continues to make a miraculous recovery.  Reports since I left have her acclimating to the real world much better, and more importantly, she has made up her own mind that she needs to be in some sort of assisted living environment.  The current plan of action having her being moved to a convalescent center at the hospital for a week or so, as mother and Uncle John and Johnnie Carson scour the horizon for an appropriate residence for the Tootster.

...More later if you're lucky.  We thank thee oh Lord for hydrocodone  and the blessed relief it brings.  Actually I'm not at all convinced that narcotics really relive pain, instead just make the patient not care about the boo-boo in question.

...Props to Dr. Silverman and his crew.  Great folks; laid back environment and concerned about pain control, I would highly recommend his services should you be in the need of an oral surgeon.  The nitrous was fun too.  First time I've had it since I had a lot of dental work done about 35 years ago.  Not hard to understand why literally hundreds of dentists have had to give up their practice.  Hell, after a 12 hour day in the hideous mouth holes of others, who wouldn't want to lay back in the air, set the timer and suck up the happy gas for an hour or so.  Sounds great on paper, but unfortunately long term use results in neurological damage, leaving many who followed the self gas routine finding themselves unable to hold instruments steady.

April 27, 2005

POST OP UPDATE

...Short and sweet as narcotics start to kick in, which when combined with the weariness of the past week = nap time.  14 down and 12 to go.  Behold what I brushed good by to this morning.

...OK boys and girls, Suttle World may once again greatly diminish its output as my mouth hole goes under the knife later this morning.  "Sorry doc, I though the bottle said to take 6 Percocet every hour.  My bad, now can I have some more?" -or- "please doctor, don't take them away," see tomorrow's SOTD---hell, see SOTD everyday and sing along you shlubs you.

...Mega props to all Duesenbergers who represented at last night's DeKalb Commission meeting.  A crowd of nearly 50 endured the tedium of 3 hours of other agenda items before being able to lend an insightful "FUCK YOU AND THE BULLDOZER YOU ROAD IN ON!"  with regard to the proposed "high density" housing development that has been a hot topic here on the Daily Briefing for a while.  The Gentle Surfer is reminded that Cabrini Green/Good Times was also a high density housing development.  The decision was tabled, allowing time for stately Roberts/Suttle Manor to weigh in on the issue with full gale force.

...All for now folks---time to resume my calling as a professional surgical patient.  I humbly ask for you prayers to Lister, the patron saint of bleeding gums.

April 26, 2005

...Morning has yet to dawn, but the gentle surfer will delight in the knowledge that I have moved up the food chain from rutabaga to that of a side of beef in the in the acuity department.  Alas, the observations and takes promised yesterday shall leave the gentle surfer still waiting. Today's activities are frantic with tomorrow's oral slice and dice looming and its incumbent effect of moving Suttle back down the above mentioned chain to ground beef status.

...Noteworthy for the moment that despite having enjoyed approximately 12 hours of sleep and 16 hours or driving in the last four days, I still had the fortitude to head up to Pinchaloaf Parkway with nephew Ridge to take in last night's Gladiator playoff game.  Though a bit weary, I figured better get some fun in while I can in anticipation of the hating life status that should accompany recovery from previously referenced oral surgery.  And though we witnessed our first ever loss by the Glads while in attendance, it was a fun evening with some seven minutes of free hockey thrown in (Charlotte 4 Gwinnett 3 - OT).  Had they changed ends for the first overtime, the Glads most likely would have pulled it out as some rather enthusiastic fans, including myself, had an ongoing monologue with Charlotte goal keeper Alex Westlund.  Westlund gave up three during the second period, allowing Gwinnett to tie the game, following a hideous first period in which they fell behind 3-0.  We talked, errrr...screamed at Westlund the entire period from a distance of at least 20 feet.  Me thinks we actually got into the young man's head, given his acknowledgment of our shout outs on more than one occasion.  Along with the obligatory "WEST-LUND'' chants and observation about his ability to create a vacuum (or suck...don't remember which), each sip of water brought inquiries about his choking, and much was made of his "hat trick" for the period and other such stuff.  Despite the loss that knots the best of five series at one game each, we certainly got our $13 worth with just the value that primal scream therapy affords.  Game #3 in Charlotte Wednesday.  You can watch it on your PC for a nominal charge.  Details at the Gladiators site. 

...While most of the country will enjoy the PBS airing of The Ramones End of the Century flick tonight, the hip and happening Atlanta crowd shall have to wait until May 1 when it will air at midnight!  Real nice guys---cutting edge National Peoples TV.  Show times will vary around the country and you can check your own special time at this link to the Independent Lens (the regular PBS program on which the movie will air) info page.  Toss in a zip code and find out if your PBS affiliate can suck as much as the two enjoyed in the ATL.  And as long as we're already here, doesn't government radio and television broadcasting sorta rub the gentle surfer the wrong way?  If not, it is a fact that PBS could be self sufficient by selling 60 seconds of advertising per hour.

All for now.  Maintenance updates competed (SOTD, et al).  Perhaps this evening will afford some catch up time, but I need to spend this evening with the august DeKalb County Commission.  Ms. Yolanda commented on the issues our small community is facing in her tremendous efforts over last weekend (see below).  Elvis has left the building with regard to Tucker becoming a government school outlet mall, but we can still put up a fight with regard to a high density housing development for which zoning requests are still pending.  Its an agenda item for tonight's regular meeting.  Props to neighbors Ellen and Joan who are leading the fight.  Your hard work is greatly appreciated.  Perhaps my attendance would not help the cause, given my current disposition.  It would be a shame to still be making bail and miss my fun with Dr. Silverman tomorrow after referring to some Commissioners as ignorant folks who indulge in incestuous activity with their maternal parents.

...Judicial notice is served regarding the fact that none of the above makes any sense.

April 25, 2005

...This morning:  up at 2:30; on road at 3:10; arrive 9:05; currently have the cogent capability roughly equivalent to a rutabaga.  While fully caffeinated and basking in the glory that is the Handsome One (and many others) I think I had some relatively decent takes---even made some notes!  Many thanks to the world's greatest wife, Yolanda, for her considerable efforts on the part of Roberts World.  Given her two days of rants exceeded the value of a month of my ramblings I may as well rename the sucker too; and just hand over the keys, grandpa. In addition to her dulcet tomes (damn, I'm funny even in a travel induced coma), were nothing compared to the yeoman's work done in spring cleaning and rearranging the furniture.  Helen Keller could not live in our house, but to hell with her, I'm up my elbows in lovin folks round here, heay?

...Tootie is, well, Tootie.  She made her re-entry to planet earth just after 8:00 Saturday morning. It was an honor to be present.  It was a fiery affair as is the always the case  (with Tootie, not re-entries), but upon becoming aware that she had indeed been in a narcotic and pain induced dementia for a week, well, as we like to say in the land of the shoeless, "SHAZAM!"  It will be a long convalescence, and remain a most trying affair for my dear mother, Pat, Uncle John & Johnnie Carson. 

To bed with me. SOTD updated.  Belated birthday request that at least I remembered before the fact, but after getting out of town Friday.  I dropped the ball, my bad and all that.  Come to think of it....Ridge has been on the short end of the stick with regard to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor, what with his present/ skate board wheels is not front and center, rather packed and shipping.

April 24, 2004

Happy Birthday Ridge.  15 already, my how time flies.  I'll see you this afternoon, I hope it has been a wunnerful, wunnerful natal day.

Yep folks, it is she, the missus, again.

Record low last night, a whopping 35 degrees and frost warnings, I told folks it was early to plant those impatiens, basil and tomatoes. Another frost warning and expectation of new records this evening.  The wind advisory continues.  

To all you mid-western snow-birds who have resettled to our balmy southern climes (and you know who you are), quit yer bitchin'!! It's snowing in Pontiac Michigan, and they are de-icing planes in Cleveland. This will abate in the next couple of days and it's back to shorts and t-shirts.

For those who missed the business block yesterday, it's a bear market, invest globally, stay away from domestic automobile manufacturers, buy titanium and HR outsourcing entities.  I agree with Jonas, Paychex beats the crap out of ADP.

Now for strictly local stuff.

Shout outs to Cindy and Deidre, hope you come out of hibernation soon.  Luv ya both.  Gillian, can't wait to see the results of your latest effort.  

Note to Dekalb County Commission, enough already!!!  You can't access Idlewood as it stands, do we really need another Alpharetta style traffic black-whole?  Quality!! of life, not quantity of housing.  Get you act together or be gone!!   You've already admitted you can't keep up with the school demand locally (witness the five-mile commute you're forcing upon the Stone Mountain middle-schoolers who will be bussed to their new middle school here in Tucker (yep, number 5 within two miles, but, hey, you kids in Drayton Woods right next door, you'll be bussed to Tucker Middle which opened to over-crowded status just this year)).  Next year, additional hundreds of children are to be bussed, and faculty and staff are to commute on a two-lane road that can't manage the traffic as it stands (and on which there are no sidewalks to accommodate already heavy foot traffic).  And now you, the high-commissioners, in your mighty wisdom, are considering adding a high-density housing development on same said road in direct violation of your own damn mandate with regard to improving quality of life and encouraging single-family housing in this already compromised community.  Perhaps you geniuses on the county commission will add insult to injury by condemning someone's hard-earned property and start a massive road project to further foul up the traffic situation.  Yes, that is the right approach, make a mess and then make it worse. Citizenry be damned!! Makes one wonder just what is truly going on out there, you're either stupid or greedy, and we know there are no stupid politicians.  Infrastructure should come first, not be an after thought once the caliber of lifestyle has been lowered and property values have been destroyed. But hey, we haven't had decent representation or governance since Manuel Maloof retired, God rest his soul. Why start now, there is still plenty for you to destroy.  

The foregoing is just one citizen's opinion.  However, I do know it reflects that of many registered voters in this area and we get a bit more organized every day.  Something you just might want to consider.

It's Sunday, rant is over, spring cleaning beckons.  Gene will be back tomorrow, lucky you.

More importantly, lucky me! Godspeed GB. I miss you.

April 23, 2005

In the Haj-Master's absence, I, his oh so meek and humble wife, Yolanda,  shall endeavor to fill the void.

At this writing, the spirit of my husband rules this home.  

A. I am up on a Saturday before 8:00 AM, even more amazing as I spent the evening into the new morning hours in the fair company of my good friend Shay.  More on that subject to follow.

B. The dulcet tones of Bob and Rodman continuing to save us ignorant home-owners, wannabe contractors, from our own bad judgment waft (do sounds waft?, answer, yes, they are conveyed through the air, check Webster is you don't believe it, do your own darn research).  In all seriousness, if you own a home, got a problem, need a contractor, etc. they are the folks to contact, Bobandrodman.com .

C. Coffee is brewed and consumption of same is in full swing.

Thanks to my good friend Shannon "Shay" Dollar, one of the best souls I know.  A loving wife and mother, a social advocate (in the best connotation of the title), and all around good gal.  I cannot remember the last time I have been so personally feted (not to be confused with "fetid," which, no doubt is a word that some in this world might have justifiably used to describe me at times, it means smelly, look it up your own darn selves, do I have to do it all myself).  The appetizer most appetizing, the meal most satisfying, the wine, most refreshing, the dessert, oh, so delish.  The take-home package will be put to good use and is most appreciated as I live the solitary life for the next 36 hours.  Of course, the best part of the evening was the great conversation and warm fellowship.  Your are the greatest, you can drop off an apple pie here anytime, and beware the Stepford call.  Much love to you. Remember (A+2=Z) = (A=Z-2) when both sides of the equation are true.

Mother Nature has worked her magic.  The, at times, agitated, exfoliation she administered to all exposed surfaces last evening, has resulted in thoroughly scrubbed, fresh air.  The yellow stuff has been abated, the pines are no longer fornicating, and cars, sidewalks, etc. are returned to their natural color.  It is a beautiful, very cool (darn near winter for those of us in the deep southern climes) spring day.  According to my dear, wise, long-departed great-grandmother, Ella, the blackberries will now come into full-bloom as "blackberry winter" passes and spring fully settles upon us.  In the meantime, azaleas bloom, hostas emerge,  spring flowers raise their beautiful heads and the air is clear and refreshingly crisp.  'Tis a day made for gardening, too much wind for decimating the weeds, but a good day to dig beds, tote, etc.

On the subject of wind, there is an advisory which, as the trees sway out the office window, would not bode well for wiffle.  Those little white vented balls will be a bit hard to deliver to the plate on a day such as this, far more akin to mid-March than late April.  However, Larry, Bill, if the wind should abate, be prepared to represent.

My prayers and thoughts remain today with Mama Tootie, Aunt Farris and my good friend John Cutler (and those who care for and love them).  Each have had the unfortunate need to spend time within the confines of medical facilities throughout the south.  John has made it home, with a reasonably clean bill of health and advice to re-evaluate priorities in order to maintain same.  Steve, call next time, you are not alone.  Aunt Farris, I hope you get to come home today, please take care of yourself first. Mama Tootie, go easy on the doctors.  Pat and Johnnie, let Gene take care of you, he's good at it, let the caregivers take care of Tootie, get some rest.  I love you all.

Johnnie, my personal apologies for my husband's failure to deliver the fresh baked goodies and variety of casseroles I prepared from scratch.  I tried to tell him tying the picnic basket to the luggage rack of the haj mobile with kitchen twine wouldn't cut it.  However, he is a man and thus void of the direction gene. I love him anyway, his superior good points far outweigh that small failing.

Well, gentle surfer, I appreciate your bearing with my most personal of rants.  Gene will return none too soon and lend you salvation from my meager offerings.   

As Bob and Rodman enter their third hour and the good folks at FOX NEWS soon beckon (10:00 AM to noon, they make investing and financial issues most entertaining).   I believe I will turn my attentions to managing my vast portfolio and leave this small diversion behind.

Get home quick and safe dear husband, I miss you. 

April 22, 2005

...As the gentle surfer has no doubt noted from the above marquee, Suttle is called to duty in  Norfcarliner for a few days.  As in the past, there's plenty of stuff deep in the bowels of Suttle World with which you can occupy yourself until the triumphant return of regular publication Tuesday.  Plus given that Ms. Yolanda has graciously agreed to keep SOTD updated in my absence, she's got full access to delighting you with her own takes should she be so inclined.

...BIG NEWS---Cruis-O-Matic gig set for July 23 in the ATL!  The venue is Lenny's Bar (formerly Dotty's) on Memorial Drive in gentrified Cabbage Town.  Thanks to Edward Tanner for the heads up.  More details to follow.

...An early happy birthday shout out to Nephew Ridge, who will celebrate #15 in Calhoun this weekend (April 24).  The finest young man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing is now getting up to speed with his science class/grade (in lieu of donating his body to same).  If his is as half as great as he made mine on Wednesday, it will be a grand time indeed.  Sorry about the wheels buddy.  They'll get here next week.

...Suttle World is now officially calling out cuzin Sal.  I can appreciate that you're still recovering from running the Boston Marathon this week, but the silence began well before you were deep into the training regiment.  Oy! "You never call; you never write."  DFFD and all that.  Rock Robster even has the ATL Jihadists down with seeing the Dirtbombs next month, but do you weight in....noooooo.

...Props to Delta.  Losing a BILLION dollars in three months (1st quarter) is extraordinary.  And I didn't think you had it in you.  And then there were 5 (major carriers)---just leave the lights on at your Hartsfield gates, Southwest will be more than happy to pick up where you guys left off.

April 21, 2005

...I don't give a flying fornication about my birthday, at least not since I hit double digits in the age department.  The fact that it was yesterday had escaped me until Monday when Moke made his generous offer to treat me to our lovely golf outing at Mystery Valley.  I told him that while my calendar was empty for Wednesday, there was something in the back of my head that I had to do, but couldn't recall.  I later realized said thing to do was to roll over the anatomical odometer to 46.  Well the times they are a changin'.  The wheel barrels full of love delivered by the world's greatest wife, Yolanda, and nephew Ridge were...  Well let's just say, I had to excuse myself to regain my composure on more than one occasion.  This doesn't even begin to include the other kind thoughts and deeds of others: a Hall of Fame t-shirt purchased by my dear old dad and Mary in Cooperstown last month (best birthday gift I've ever received, excepting perhaps the handle bar radio for my bike for BD #10) and the numerous emails from across the fruited plane with birthday wishes and/or very thoughtful words that I am flattered beyond words to have had them shared with me.  Bottom line: I may have to rethink this birthday thing---perhaps its more than just another day on the calendar.  Yep, April 20, me and Hitler.  Bill gets Joey Ramone, Pete Townsend and Ho Chi Minh---a damn good two for three day at the plate.

...I think it was Suttle World that in mid January made the declaration:  I don't know whether the next stop for the Dow will be 11,000 or 10,000, and despite closing yesterday at 10,012 following yet another triple digit decline, I'm still not sure.  The economy is simply doing too well, with strong corporate earnings, save General Motors that would appear to have a lot more of a problem with its pension/medical issue than was thought.  I do know this though---at 10,012 there are some great buying opportunities out there for those who have a "long" trading mentality.

...Yeah, I know I completely screwed up the Gladiators take from Monday.  They had already won the series 3 games to 1 as I speculated that they would accomplish on Tuesday.  So sue me.  Regardless its on to another best of five series in the conference semi-finals against the Charlotte Checkers (a franchise with which I have a 40 year connection) and their Icee Bear/Mokeian look alike logo.  Games one and two are in Gwinnett with Sunday being a matinee (sorta---4:00).  An if necessary game five will be here as well on Saturday, April 30.

...Those anxiously awaiting further details about yesterday's golf outing will be sorely disappointed in that there is little else to report, other than being able to move without much difficulty this morning (check back tomorrow, as I'm typically a "second day sore" kinda guy).  This much is worthy of more comment---props to Cuzin Moke for not only prodding me back onto the links, but picking up the tab as well.  And also my apologies to the Mokeian one for putting up (as in put not putt) with my poor playing, chit-chatting self that put him out his rhythm, that he took very cheerfully.  For me it was a glorious walk/ride on a beautiful day that ended with my shirt dry---notable because of my legendary perspiration skills. Leg held up real well too---perhaps the most encouraging thing of all.  Didn't keep score (never intended to) and just dropped balls in the fairway instead of going Lewis and Clark on very errant shots, but there was a legit par (albeit on the #13 handicap par 4 hole---No. 5 for those in the know).  Throw in a couple of legit bogies and a few missed short putts for same, and I'm much further along than I could have ever imagined.  Moke agreed saying he thought I'd struggle more than I did.  The new fangled gear is a huge help.  Persimmon woods and forged blades would have made for a much different experience.  Lot's of work still to do, but at least I'm not starting from scratch (damn, I'm funny).

...Our most sincere sympathies to Scott, Top Ten, Kempner on the loss of his father this week.  Though now departed from the world's greatest rock n roll band---DFFD.

April 20, 2005

...Just no time for the little people this morning.  Update to follow this pm---promise, as the eye's of the world await word  of the white smoke emitted from the head of Champagne Gino Suttle as he returns to the links after an extended hiatus.

...Props to Cuzin Rob in Wisconsin.  Thank you, my friend.

...Belated happy birthday to "boy" genius Adny Shernoff (April 18) a glaring error on my part.

...Promised I would update this afternoon, so here I is.  Unfortunately rigamortis has begun to set in, so I would humbly request that the gentle surfer wait patiently until tomorrow for a full run down.  The very short take is that the outing was fun, my leg held up well and my game is not as atrophied as feared.  Must now search for oil can to maintain some semblance of rheumatory  function. And yes those clinical terms are properly spelled regardless of what Bill Gates has squiggle beneath the words.

April 19, 2005

...Could anyone please tell me when the entire internet became concerned with my ability to achieve and maintain an erection?  Yeah, spam is a hassle, but I've never been one to complain much about it because 1) I receive very little, despite numerous email addresses and the whole Suttle World thing and 2) clicking the delete button has never proved too onerous.  Still, of the spam I do get, 90% is pimping Viagra or some similar big ole throbbing boner pill.  Even more confusing is why anyone would pay outrageous prices to order God knows what from some off shore "pharmacy" when there are thousands of hacks armed with prescription pads that will quite happily write an Rx for a fraction of the cost.  Bad leg:  yep; bad eyes:  yep; bad soon to be no teeth:  yep; but so far so good in other anatomical regions.  Speaking of which, the wise federal government declared Viagra to fall under Medicaid coverage, stating that a healthy sex life was part of a holistic health deal.  This now begs the question as to whether Medicaid covers the cost of prostitutes for the ugly indigent.  Seems that's where the logic flows, so to speak (see Song of the Day). 

...Game four of the Gladiators first round Kelly Cup series tonight in Gwinnett.  After witnessing the blowout Saturday, its tough to imagine that they won't finish off the Sea Wolves tonight.  On to the next yet to be be determined opponent in the conference semi-finals.

...Per usual I was late to the party.  It was only yesterday that I learned  that my beloved Washington Nationals had unveiled their new mascot:  Screech (yet another in a litany of idiotic stuffed animals on steroids that I must agree all deserve a beat down as prescribed by Michael Wilbon).  Its tad bit more than ironic for all who followed the Montpelier HS Solons Screech to Victory 2005 that brought the school its first state basketball championship in over 50 years.  Link to above mentioned championship march can be found at the top of this page under "Continuing Features."

...After much cajoling, I have succumbed to Moke's pleas and agreed to tee it up at Mystery Valley Wednesday---my first round of real golf in nearly 15 years, before which I was playing twice a week.  Not sure how well Mr. leg will hold out, but there's only one way to find out.  Reports to follow, maybe.

April 18, 2005

...Hi, my name is Gene, and I'm a parenthaholic.  I admit that I am powerless in the use of parenthetical phrases---that my writing has become unmanageable (actually the clinical term is still widely debated---both within the medical and lay communities).  But given that rehab is for quitters, I shall endeavor to carry on in a less agonizing style in the future, only humbly asking Him to remove my shortcomings (Lorena Bobbit need not apply).  Its just that I had a really traumatic childhood experience with a comma, and have wrestled with my "disease" (another issue about which there is great debate) ever since.  Needless to say, I could run with this times 12, but I have neither the time nor inclination----as entertaining as it would be.

...Many thanks for the now some 300 Song of the Day submissions from six different sources. Me thinks Suttle World is well stocked; but do not let that impede any further tunes the gentle surfer wishes to pass along for consideration.

...The latest update last night finds my dear maternal grandmother, Tootie Carson, to be recovering reasonably well, following a fall late last week.  She is hospitalized at present, but only with a few cracked ribs and its incumbent pain that still beats the hell out of a hip fracture.  More local kin folk are seeing to her in lovely Statesville, NC ("Crossroads of the World"---a bit ambitious for the intersection of two interstate highways if you ask me), but Suttle stands at the ready to lend any on site assistance when and if necessary.  My somewhat lengthy experience both in and alongside hospital beds is that the addition of another person to a hospital room is of little value to anyone involved, so we'll wait and report from Suttle World headquarters for the time being. 

...A fair amount on this week's agenda, but nothing notable for today excepting some domestic duties, so we'll just leave it here for now.

April 17, 2005

...A hootenanny if ever there was one.  Larry and Peggy Rich, Mr. Bill, Moke, nephew Ridge, his buddy Alex, Bruce (Alex's dad---super guy) and yours truly witnessed a tall boy can of whoop ass  opened by the Gwinnett Gladiators last night as they pummeled the Mississippi Dead Sea Wolves 8-1, before a surprisingly sparse "crowd" of some 4,500.  The outcome of the game became obvious in the first five minutes, despite the good guys being up only 1-0 at the first intermission.  Out shooting MS 64-17(!!!!!!), the Gladiators obviously fared the 10 hour bus ride back from Biloxi much better than their opponents.  They simply out hustled MS as much as the score would indicate.  Now leading the best of 5 series 2-1, with the remaining games in Gwinnett, I agree with parting remarks from Mr. Bill---"we got to get ready for the next [series], cause this one's wrapped up."  I have to agree in that at this writing, Sea Wolves are still searching for their tools that the Glads knocked in the ice all Saturday night long.  Kelly Cup brackets here.  No Ollie burgers or Doug Mohns, but the same folks 30+ years after the fact, with the only other differences being a few extra wrinkles, less hair for some, and a lot fewer teeth for one.  To say it was a good time had by all is hyperbolic in its understatement, but it still didn't fully compensate for the week long tsunami of feted fecal matter that would appear to have finally ebbed.

...Good God almighty, I was just checking the spelling and found The Official Doug Mohns Web Site.  Amazing!  The fact that I carry on with today's dutiful briefing before checking it out is nothing short of a miracle.  But Suttle, how can you show such dedication and restraint?  Well, I'm just a hell of a guy.

...OK---that's all.  Gotta hang with Doug.

April 17, 2005

...Where to start?  I reckon with the fact that I'm in that get up at 3:00 am deal again, so several hours of email catch up and the like, leaves my faculties somewhat diminished---not good for someone with limited skills such as myself.

...Attempts to halt the week from hell yesterday proved as successful as trying to empty the Atlantic with a teaspoon.  Props to the the Georgia Clean Air Nazis---only $600 to get the dashboard of the '02 Hajmobile to get the thumbs up and allow us to purchase our tax stamp/tag decal for the year.  Now I don't want to start confusing folks with facts such as that only 20% of metro Atlanta's "air pollution" is due to auto emissions and that 80% those pollutants are emitted from about 10% of the cars on the road.  What I am a bit confused about is why the state (with the guns of Washington being put to their heads) is more interested in my on board computer than with what comes out of my vehicle's tail pipe.  "But sir, it will help you know if anything is wrong with your car."  Thanks, big bro, but me thinks we can take care of that ourselves.  Emitting nothing but pure mountain air?  Doesn't matter, if you've got a dashboard light on:  No tag for you.

...The world's greatest wife, Yolanda, took the day off work to get a number of "chores/errands" accomplished that had been pushed back due to the other mishaps of the week from hell.  But she decided to take the leisurely course of mono tasking, devoting the entire day to completing our taxes.  I got enough of a rant in yesterday, but would add that our household has a very small federal tax liability.  Its my ass busting successful brothers and sisters for whom I have concern.  How dare you earn a decent living!  Well we'll see that your duly punished young man/lady.  I have no recollection of ever getting a job from a poor EITC collecting person.

..."Suttle---party of eight, Suttle."  That's the final count on the crew that we've assembled to attend tonight's Gladiators playoff game.  Should be great fun with a sellout crowd, assuming I'm not swallowed by a sink hole on 85 in transit.  Mississippi won last night 3-2, knotting the best of 5 game series at one all.  Games 3, 4 and 5 (if necessary) are set for play in the country's ugliest county---Gwinnett.  They are the higher seed, but 4 out of 5 at home?  Don't get it, but not complaining either.  Tix are probably still available at this writing, but if you plan to attend get em in advance, as it will definitely be a sell out.  Don't think I've ever bought 8 tickets for the same event.  And even with $2 plus gas, the schlep to Pinchaloaf Parkway cost a bit less than the $34 in "convenience" fees Ticketshyster would have commanded---nearly the face value of three tickets themselves.  Face off at 7:30.

...It was a tough pick, but I opted for the Glads over the Hawks tonight, even though the cagers are celebrating fan appreciation night.  This one is a bit different than most similar events in that the Hawks will be scouring Phillips to find the fan to appreciate.  Natives and long time locals need not be reminded of the horrifying stretches of play posted by every pro franchise in the city, but this is Nuggets/Clippers awful or worse.  And new genius ownership has announced ticket price increases for a team that may well finish the season 12-70!  No doubt, a very clever fellow with a marketing MBA figured that one out.  "Hawks ticket office, may I help you."  Yes, young lady, I'm here in town with a group of 15 people and wondered if there were any seats available for tonight's game.  "Oh yes sir, we'd be delighted to accommodate you."  Great, what time is tip off?  "Well, sir, what time can you be here?"  And with the NBA set to go Patrick Ewing for the Lakers in the upcoming "lottery," the future doesn't appear as though I'm wearing shades.  Its more like a freakin welder's mask.

...All sports all the time.  This is going to be hard to believe but the AJC sports page made a glaring omission in their above the fold story in Friday's edition.  Neckcar has nothing on the Duesenberg United Fantasy Football League of Elvis (DUFFLE) in the hardware department as seen in the properly corrected graphic here.
  Click to enlarge.

April 15, 2005

...Just another lovely spring day across the fruited plane, right?  No, not quite, because before midnight one must "show your papers" to the Imperial Federal Government, including name, address, serial number, for whom you worked (including their name, address and serial number), how much you made...all of which is of no concern to the government unless you're wearing an ankle bracelet.  Then you get to write them a check for all the wonderful government services you didn't get and/or didn't want in the first place.  Yes, boys and girls its TAX DAY!  As a former resident of our nation's capital, I've seen it literally carved in stone on the side of the Treasury Department building:  "Taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society."  Fair enough, but this country got along just fine for 140 years or so without an income tax and the incredible onus it places upon so many.  More time is devoted to compliance with the federal tax code than all the man hours worked in the state of Indiana in any given year!!!!!  I implore the gentle surfer to PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, check out the Fair Tax folks.  Just give it a look-see.  It won't hurt---promise.  A national retail sales tax is not only revenue neutral (actually revenue positive, given folks who currently fly under the IRS's radar  will now pay taxes every time they go to the store), it would also propel our economy into the stratosphere.  One would have to hide in their cardboard box to not get a good job, given every company in the world would rush to set up shop in this country---one without individual or  alleged corporate income taxes (corporations don't pay taxes---people do in the form of higher prices, lower wages and/or lower returns to investors).  The comparative advantages are too numerous to list here.  So please, check em out and then sharpen your pitch forks and get them torches ready.  Its at least getting some media attention now, albeit mostly erroneous---the most notable misconception being that the poor would get slammed.  NO!  Under the Fair Tax plan, no one under the poverty line would pay a dime in federal taxes of any kind, including payroll/Social Security taxes that currently beat low income earners like a baby seal.  To quote the most dishonest, corrupt and disingenuous President of the 20th century, Bill Clinton, do it "for the children." 

...Suttle World officially declares this the end of the week from hell.  Suffice to say, if it could have gone wrong it did for both myself and the world's greatest wife, Yolanda.  But misfortune is not evidence of sin, so we'll continue to count our many blessings and press forward.  I don't have the band width to catalogue the litany of all the shit that's gone down, but a good example is my learning yesterday that every damn tooth in my head is gonna have to be yanked out in the coming weeks.  Freaks who paint their entire body in their school's colors for sporting events have nothing on me in the spirit department, as I follow in the footsteps of the name sake for my alma mater, George Washington. Hey, maybe I can finally capture the coveted Spirit Stick (as idiotic now as it was 30+ years ago) Whittling underway at this writing.

...The Gwinnett Gladiators won the first game of their opening best of five game Kelly Cup playoff series Thursday night against the dreaded Mississippi Sea Wolves.  Game two is tonight in the Magnolia State (the official state lynching tree).  Game 3 is tomorrow/Saturday night back in hideous Gwinnett County, where a party of at least 6 kids of all ages, including yours truly, will be in attendance, assuming there are still ducats left when I get up to the box office this morning.  It will be a sell out.  Suttle World refuses to do business with Ticketschyster, nor would I allow them to urinate on me were I on fire.  Convenience fee this!

April 14, 2005

..."All of Chuck's children are out there playing his licks."  A poignant line from an otherwise dreadful song that quite rightly points out that every rock n roll song ever written is a permutation of "Johnny B. Goode."  Chuck ("someone please tune my guitar"---Darryl Rhoades) Berry is rightfully a household name.  Johnnie Johnson was not, until perhaps yesterday when word of his death at the age of 80 became an also ran news item.  Johnson was Berry's inspiration for "Johnny B. Goode" after the two collaborated on other very similar sounding hits over the course of several decades.  I cannot claim that his passing to be akin to losing a primary color, in that "covers" of his work are still being created, but his career put a thumbprint on most everyone on the planet whether they know it or not.  The Eagles and others have spent many years devoted to ruining his work.  The Dictators have spent many years trying to carry it on when they still tried.  "Who will save rock n roll?"  Today it looks as though it will be the Smithsonian---displaying the genre in nostalgic exhibitions in the Museum of Back in the Day.  Tomorrow's take may well be different. 

...Memo to vegetation:  Get a room for God's sake!  This outrageous display of public affection has got to stop.  Pollen counts higher than the national debt are simply unacceptable.  I promise to stop eating salads or whatever it takes.  I'm begging you---STOP!  I would also remind my vegetative brothers and sisters (including the Congress) that I own very sharp motorized devices along with other shovels and rakes and implements of destruction, and that even I can run faster than you guys.  You feeling lucky tree/bush/flower?

...Pressed again for time this morning.  No, I don't have any parcels to ship to Taiwan today with the assistance of a most helpful and competent deaf and mute (replace with the politically correct phrase d jour if you wish) USPS employee, but other even more fun endeavors that are scheduled in granite/enamel.  Once again, without objection, permission to revise and extend my remarks. So ordered. 

April 13, 2005

...Memo to Joe Gibbs:  Yeah the Redskin defense wasn't too awful last season due in part to schedule.  It was the easiest defensive schedule in the league---making them an excellent sleeper pick in last year's fantasy drafts for a backup defense, which of course was taken two picks before I was going to take my beloved team in the 2004 DUFFLE draft.  Anyway, given the uncertainty about LaVar Arrington and Sean Taylor, word has it the Skins may go linebacker shopping in the upcoming NFL draft (April 23).  But before you go spending another dump truck full of boy wonder's bucks, may I respectfully suggest you have an excellent candidate right under your nose in DC.  Did you see the hit that Capitol Cop put on dude doing his Men in Black impersonation earlier this week?  LT would be proud.  I think the officer in question would gladly trade uniforms and salaries if only for the NFL minimum.

...Belated props to cuzin Rob in Wisconsin for his submission of 60 for Song of the Day.  I forwarded the list to brother Bill and Bruner, wondering why it is Rob and I hit it off so well.

...A good deal of buzz among local internet correspondents regarding tonight's Gladiator playoff game.  It could be their only home playoff game, but that's a defeatist attitude, assuming they'll lose the series and get swept to boot, making a Saturday home game unnecessary.  No decisions yet about attendance.

...Spring Training for Wiffle Atlanta (cool new logo and all) would appear to be set for April 23 and 24 at 1:00 and 4:00 respectively.  Its mostly a meet and greet happening with a little knocking it around.  Gorf Rats have been put on notice.  All else are welcome at Smoke Rise Elementary.  Email for directions and/or further details.

...Pressed for time...without objection, permission to revise and extend my remarks later.

April 12, 2005

...Yeah, slow out of the shoot today.  Hey, doctors to do, places to see, spouses to console, nephews to get back into the routine, etc...  Combine that onus of responsibilities with the very slack Suttle World staff (you just can't get good help for free anymore) and you get an update in the pm.  Should you be offended by my outrageous, indecent procrastination may I suggest you write Congressman Sensenbrenner.  He'll take care of it and have me locked up for this and other lewd and lascivious behaviors.  See, the august Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee has made it clear that regulating free speech is not sufficient, and that be a fair assessment given the resignation of the U.S. Censor Laureate, Michael Powell.  So the Chairman has decided that "criminalizing" "indecent" broadcasting is the best course for protecting the citizenry from itself.  Oh Suttle, dial down the hyperbole knob, says the gentle surfer.  Well, judge for yourself.  I wasn't the one who made the speech.  Nonsensicalbrenner did, and here's the story.  Give it a read, and then tell me you haven't checked the garage to make sure you're stocked up on torches and pitchforks.

...And while I quite rightly beat the Republican party about the head, shoulders, knee caps (any body part will do for the time being)...all this talk about "judicial activism" is not about the prevalence and/or nature of any "judicial activism."  Republicans are making a big deal about courts not being active in toting Republican demagoguery, and now hold up the corpse of Terry Schiavo to "aid their cause."  DeLay, Sensenbrenner, et al of those ilk are a greater threat to freedom and due process than any liberal ever dreamed.  Next up, suspension of the 4th amendment in toto.  And why not---what reasonable person would object to the police kicking down their door in the middle of the night sans warrant or probable cause unless they have something to hide?  Screw all of you and the voters you rode in on!!!!!

...If I'm lying, I dying...honest to God, my mama's eyes and all that.  Long story short, its still eight months away, but you better get tix now and not risk getting shut out.  The Atlanta Civic Center will be happening place on December 15, 2005 as it hosts The Andy Williams Christmas Show.  This is a shooting fish in a barrel deal, so I'll refrain.  No further commentary is necessary.

...Now that we've got the hyper rants out of the way, how bout a shaggy dog story?  Stately Roberts/Suttle Manor buddies, the Dollar family, returned from a getaway weekend Sunday to discover their dog, CC, had escaped from the friend who was dog sitting.  The guy felt awful, the Dollars felt awful and then proceeded on a search for the canine who had now been MIA for over 48 hours.  Their search was fruitless, and everyone slept in Monday morning, exhausted by the frantic neighborhood scouring, contacting various animal authorities and general grief over the loss of their beloved pet of many years.  Shay took the kids to school late Monday morning, and turned the corner to see boldly stapled to a utility pole ""FOUND..."  You can fill in the rest of the story knowing it ended in a glorious reunion (and they got the dog back too).

April 11, 2005

...A Masters Sunday for the ages indeed.  Despite the heroic efforts of lobster boy DiMarco, the golfing gods had long since decided it was time for Tiger to get another ugly sport coat, but at least they toyed with us in what was a great match up in the final group.  The only problem was that it was the only group of any interest, and, consequently, even the decent analysts ran out of stuff to say.  "Tiger really wants to make this putt."  Gee, that's the type of commentary you just can't teach at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting.  I even considered going with the mute button, but endured the coverage to the bitter end---almost as bitter as Phil putting said ugly sport coat on Tiger.  The gentle surfer is now reminded why yesterday is the a High Holy Day of sports; and after they get through crunching the numbers, I would be most interested in how much money that ball with the swoosh hanging on the lip of the cup was worth to Nike.  Well more than they pay Tiger I can assure you.  I do think Woods should shoot off a nice chunk of change to Butch Harmon for calling him out earlier in the week.  Finally, almost as good as the yesterdays final round, was Augusta National screwing up the early pairings for the third round!???  A computer glitch, and IBM is the sponsor---OhhhhhhK.  Me thinks the glitch was an 86 year old geezer (wearing his obligatory ugly jacket) in front of said computer.  Guys you did just fine with pencils and paper for six decades.  I'd stick with what you know, and I'll not make any suggestions about the Eisenhower tree.  Deal?

...Nephew Ridge returns to stately Roberts/Suttle Manor this morning following a week of spring break in lovely Calhoun, Ga.  Classes resume tomorrow, with about five weeks left in the academic year.  In fact, the DeKalb County Schools web site indicates final exams and middle school graduation are the same day (May 20).  No social promotions/matriculations here buddy.

...And the winner is June in south Georgia.  She put up the winning bid for the mystery Steinbach piece, who's auction ended last night.  A lovely lady with whom I've done business before, it is comforting to know this odd little sucker has a nice home.  Thanks again to Kerry Kennedy for all his (now confirmed) efforts.  Kerry is in the floral and gift business in Florida, and I now have the high honor and distinct privilege of linking to his site on the Suttle World "Cool Links" page.  Should you require any of his goods or services, I can personally vouch for his stand up, all around good guy status. In fact, even if you don't need any of his goods and/or services, buy some anyway.

April 10, 2005

...Yesterday's epic takes are a tough act to follow, but we'll give it a shot.  First up:

...Plant Sex---Until a couple of days ago, this spring appeared to be shaping up as a most inhabitable season, but then the ATL was hit by its regular tsunami of flora and fauna sperm, making the great out of doors unbearable for even those who are not sensitive/allergic to such things, like me.  Those who "aint from around here" simply can't comprehend the intensity of this, the third or fourth worse pollen area in the country.  The numbers speak for themselves.  Pollen is measured in terms of particles per cubic meter of air.  Using this yardstick, a reading of over 120 is considered "Extremely High."  The good folks at the Atlanta Allergy Clinic who keep tabs on said counts, don't post results on weekends, but Thursday the pollen count was 4,941!!!! (or FORTY TIMES the "extremely high" level).  Every outdoor contact surface in the city is yellow.  Every mouth hole in the area is coated with the stuff.  There's got to be money to be had from this phenomena, aside from allergists, antihistamine makers and wiper fluid sellers.  Hey, we've got a Dogwood Festival, why not a Pollenpalooza or some such?  "Come scratch and sneeze with the stars..."

...Many props to cousin Moke for his hospitality yesterday evening, as Mr. Bill and I availed ourselves to the glory of Casa Moke for the 3rd round (well sorta) of the Masters.  The food, company and viewing was most pleasant indeed; and Augusta National is set for what would appear to be a Sunday for the ages, and despite the incredible demand, the Green Jackets (Augusta's answer to the Brown Shirts) will make us wait until 3:30 before any precious video can be viewed.  "No extra golf for you!"  Given Suttle World has made it clear that it never prognosticates about golf tournaments, I can't give an "I told you so" poke at the gentle surfer, but will remind folks about the Tiger take made earlier in the week---its down there somewhere.  Scroll baby, scroll. Woods now leads through 13 holes of the finish of the third round at this writing, birdying 10, 11, 12 & 13---for seven in a row counting  7-9 yesterday before play was halted)  I certainly wish no ill to Mr. DiMarco, but repeatedly commented yesterday that nobody who putts like that could possibly win this tournament.  Should Tiger prevail, he should give props to Butch Harmon.  Perhaps Butch calling him out this week put a little more octane in his tank.

...The great Steinbach mystery continues, and so does the auction.  I'll just allow it run its course and let the market speak.

...Gotta go---this Tiger thing is too much to not watch the leader board on the net update hole by hole.

April 9, 2005

...Well, I take some of it back.  The Masters web site now acknowledges that play has not run exactly as scheduled, though it is a chore to determine who's on first, what's on the 8th hole of second, et al...  Play resumed this morning at 8:30, so I will assume the second round can be completed sometime before noon, allowing for the entire 3rd round to be played today.  Regardless, CBS cranks up its coverage at 4:00 this afternoon.

...While we're hanging around the club house, it is worthy of mention that while I never doubted dutiful Bob and Rodman caller cousin Moke, his continuing high praise of Mystery Valley would indeed appear to be true.  I had the pleasure of surveying the track (from afar---just hit a few range balls, pitches and putts) for the first time in a couple of decades yesterday.  Though the area has gone from  end of the earth status to that of typical Atlanta "safe suburban slum" sprawl, the grounds themselves are remarkably similar to that of the mid 70's when we would all go to Jim Hearn's on Friday night and share a bucket of balls in order to steal a few with which to play on early Saturday morning at Mystery Valley---usually cajoling the gendarmes to allow us to play only 9 and start on the vacant back side. "NOW YOU BOYS HURRY IT UP DOWN THERE! HEAR?"  My recollection is that the geezer, Nazi starter with access to the referenced PA system name was Johnny Asshole.  Asshole has no doubt long since left this mortal coil, and is most likely yelling through a bullhorn during Stalin's back swing on Hell's 1st tee.  Word has it that old Joseph, along with Hitler and Mussolini, are still spotting a few strokes to Generalissimo Francisco Franco, given that he's still dead.

...Now you work cousin Moke, golf, suburban sprawl, Hell and the great dictators of Europe (no, not those Dictators) into one paragraph. 

...Nice to see the cable news networks getting into the "reality TV" craze.  I flip on Fox News this morning to catch the usual two hour business block, and they're covering Charles' wedding!? And now commentary on reading the faces of the principals with ample pop psychology thrown in!?  STOP!  JUST STOP IT NOW!

...In the you just can't make this stuff up department comes the another "news" event from the United Kingdom. Read the story first.  The link to grandma's site is here.

...Many props to my new friend Kerry Kennedy,  who emailed yesterday to inquire about an item I am currently auctioning on eBay.  Kerry was a former Steinbach importer, and I'm selling one of those silly nutcracker things that are so cherished by many for reasons yet to be determined.  Anyway, Kerry indicated that in his/her (it didn't come up) vast experience with the product line that the item I was auctioning didn't exist.  I responded with all the info I had, and since, he has done yeoman's work in trying to figure out exactly what it is.  We still haven't quite figured it out, but the piece is authentic and may be very rare, possibly resulting in my having to cancel the auction---though its doubtful I will.  Enough of tedious details.  The moral of the story is that of yet another very kind soul "met" via the internet which from where I sit, is its greatest attribute. 

...Following a very long dry spell, Eric Robert Rudolph finally got one right.  I see no reason why he can't be in the general population of whatever federal facility he will live out the rest of his miserable years.

April 8, 2005

...Oh the Masters, truly one of America's great sporting events run by some of America's most anal retentive people.  Over time, Hootie and the gang have gone from being infuriating to delightfully amusing in their retention capacity.  The official Masters web site is in keeping with the spirit of Augusta National, in that it doesn't acknowledge the rain yesterday or the failure of the field to complete the first round.  That info had to be divined from other sources.  68 players finished round one, and it would appear as though the weather and golf gods have been able to come to some agreement, allowing for completion of the first and second rounds today; and should we alert the dairy industry to start putting pictures of Martha Burke on milk cartons?  Haven't heard or seen anything from her this year.  I shall always cherish Martha, in that she was the inspiration for the greatest homemade sign ever created during her first protest at Augusta several years ago:  "Martha, Iron My Shirt!"  Oh yeah, they play some golf at this event too.  Bring it on!  And it would appear as though the Sports High Holy Day III will be played out on its scheduled day (Sunday).  Suttle World never prognosticates about the winner of golf tournaments, but would remind the gentle surfer that Tiger put up a 40 on the front side of his first round the year he won his first green jacket.

...Though not being familiar with the seemingly infinite number of Catholic rites and rituals, I'm certain that Pope John Paul II's funeral mass was celebrated according to Hoyle.  Just seems to me that they started a bit early---at least for us North Americans.  Yeah, I'm an early riser, but don't usually set the alarm for 3:30 to watch a funeral, so I'll just have to catch the highlights later on Sports Center.  No disrespect is intended, but at times I'm uncertain if I'm watching a cable news network or a Monty Python movie.  On a more serious note, the presence and reaction of Poles attending what I would term a celebration of a giant of a man is as genuinely moving as it gets.

...A belated happy 60th birthday to home town boy done good Neal Boortz.  Now into his 37th year of talk radio in Atlanta (and now nationally syndicated), Boortz is without a doubt the best host the format has served up in its history.  Beyond that, within the medium of radio itself, I could have a severe power tool accident and still count on both hands the number of people who I believe have actually mastered the medium of radio, and Boortz is right at the top of the list.  My liberal brothers and sisters who are having difficulty reading this due to their eyes being fully rolled back into their heads should note that this ENTERTAINMENT!  One can disagree with any or all of his takes on anything and still be entertained beyond description.  Well done my friend.

April 7, 2005

...A rare up past midnight kinda thing, so why not go ahead and get the dates and the SOTD updated while I've got the chance.  Speaking of like time man---anybody got one of those now very inexpensive "atomic" clocks?   We've got an analog one (with hands---old clock on the wall everyone watched to hit 5:00 in the office deal).  Watching one of those suckers reset for daylight savings time (if you just happen to be around to witness the 2 minute even) is like, really like wow man!  At least for an old fart who plopped down $15 at Sam's a couple years ago for this sucker that receives some mega AM signal (like 500kw) from the Rockies at night to stay in sync with some atomic clock somewhere (Naval Observatory perhaps).

...And how can you follow a paragraph like that?  Maybe in the morning.  Sleep well.

...The more base instinct is to wish those making their first ever trip to Augusta National/Mecca today to get rained on like the renal discharge from the proverbial Russian race horse (do Russian horses have larger bladders?---I never got that one), as was the case for Suttle who had the pleasure of attending the first rained out round at the Masters in 60 years back in 2003.  Instead, I shall wish the best for the throngs and hope they can get some play in.  At this writing the plan is to start groups from #1 & #10 (what a concept) soon, but Mr. Radar indicates its going to be tough to get in much golf, especially if the thunder begins to rumble.  But before you start ripping off emails to the Noble Committee to nominate me for this year's All Around Good Guy prize, the gentle surfer should be informed that I have had the privilege to walk upon the sacred ground prior to the aforementioned rain out, albeit a practice round.  The question now, is whether the Sports High Holy Day III (3/5) will have to be pushed back until Monday.  

...It is worthy of mention that my two trips to Augusta National have been courtesy of the largess of cousin Moke, to whom I shall be eternally grateful.  That being said, in a completely different arena, I now have greater appreciation for Bobby Cox and his fellow skippers in dealing with fickle players this new fangled era of free agency.  Last week, Moke unilaterally declares himself the opening day starter for the Dirt Square Gorf Rats.  This week finds my boy backing away from the whole affair, despite assurances that all involved with Wiffle Atlanta are more than willing to make any and all reasonable accommodations for infirmities that are quite legitimate in nature.  Is this a contract ploy?  This is probably as close as Suttle World has ever come to calling out a non-public figure, but perhaps such a bold move will keep those cards and letters moving in Moke's direction to persuade him to proudly wear the yet to be determined colors of a franchise that is destined for greatness.  Imagine the glory of wearing your recently awarded championship ring while playing in the yet to be publicly unveiled geriatric golf event in August.  It is also noteworthy that cousin Larry has yet to contact Suttle World to be advised of coming Wiffle events.  Let's play two!  Let's show these youngins that even with our walkers, pacemakers and enlarged prostrates that we are the "Master Race Rock" of Wiffle!  Just sing along with The Dictators for a minute and you'll get the necessary spunk to prevail:
"We're the masters of the master race.
Got no tact and we got no grace.
First, you put your sneakers on.
Goin' outside to have some fun.
Don't forget to wipe your ass." ---©The Dictators/Shernoff Music, 1975

April 6, 2005

...Revealing my ignorance once again, I was a bit confused when the "burial" plans were being made for the Pope, in that a miter would be among the items in which he would be entombed.  Was he going to have to cut some crown molding?  Well, of course not.  Turns out the miter is that pointy hat thing.  Case closed.  They may as well toss in all of his shoes as well, given that they would appear much too large to fill for whomever is chosen next.  Again, reviewing the resume of John Paul II is just too much to comprehend at present.  Perhaps in time, I'll be able to more fully appreciate this most remarkable man.

...Props to Baylor for not being UConn or Tennessee and for winning their first NCAA women's basketball championship.

...Many thanks to those who were kind enough to answer my plea for a dentist.  It turned out to be a moot point in that I had made an appointment with a sole practitioner nearby shortly after sounding the alarm.  I got the name from my internist, Elliot Royston, MD----doctor extraordinaire.  Another sole practitioner, Royston took my call in the middle of the afternoon---amazing!!! in this age of assembly line medicine.  Memo to bank tellers:  if an old fart with bad teeth hands you the note, please be nice and don't put that dye bomb thing in the bag with the money.

...Props to Henry County law enforcement in their continuing war on drugs.  In their dutiful efforts to protect us from ourselves a cop gets shot and suspect killed at a major gas/Quciky Mart deal last night.  Sure, innocent bystanders could have been killed as well, but its a small price to pay for the government to control what a consenting adult can and cannot put in his own body.  I'm just thankful I live in a "free" country.  Oh, the other angle of the story is that the alleged crack sting went down on Rock Quarry Road (even I couldn't make up something that good).

...Peter Jennings seems like a nice enough guy, and I wish him a speedy and full recovery from the lung cancer diagnosis he announced yesterday.  That being said, the media covering the media isn't news!  But, didn't Suttle expend lots of bandwidth beating Dan Rather about the head and shoulders, you ask.  Yes, because he presented patent falsehoods as "news."  The Jason Blairs of the world are worthy of mention, but the health and well being of a talking head isn't.

April 5, 2005

North Carolina 75  Illinois 70

...First one they've won that they were supposed to win, so its a bit difficult to absorb at this writing.  Great ball game between two truly great teams, and the Tarheels cover to boot.  What's not to like?

April 4, 2005

...A ragged piece of netting would seem to be a poor 21st birthday present, but me thinks Sean May has it on the top of his gift list.  In the first match up of #1 & #2 in 30 years, the University of North Carolina Tarheels look for their fourth National Championship tonight (are you old men in ugly sport coats/bowl committee members watching?)!  Alas, along with the three wins (the first was won a year or so prior to my conception) also come the memories of the seasons that could have been.  So tonight's game is not approached with supreme confidence, rather enthusiasm and optimism.  One thing is for sure, win or lose the campus in Chapel Hill tomorrow morning will not look like a war zone---a claim few other flagship public universities around the country can make.  Tip off around 9:15 with Carolina a two point favorite.  In the meantime I'll be studying the remote to find the button that mutes Billy Packer.

...Wiffle Atlanta is coming right along, as young JK has set Spring Training dates for both April 23 and 24, allowing wiggle room for all who are or intend to be involved in this burgeoning enterprise.  Given the choice, we have decided on the Dirt Square Gorf Rats as a team name.  Get those arms warmed up.  We're also sticking with Mit)h, the Gorf Rat, as team mascot, given that Julio Franco will be too busy to fulfill the commitment.  Check the above link or here for more details as they unfold.

...The Song of the Day (SOTD) is up and running along with the oh so impressive Suttle World events calendar.  Thanks to Matt Bruner for his prompt list of contributions, the first of which appears today---coming from the first, self titled, Queen album which is among the best first releases in the history of the genre---right up there with Kiss, Cheap Trick, The Ramones, The Dictators and a few others.  Meanwhile, Suttle World impatiently awaits the submissions of the other half dozen or so contacted for future SOTDs. 

April 3, 2005

...Yeah, on the excitement meter, the first weekend of the NCAA tournament (Thu-Sun) makes for better viewing, but it hardly qualifies as a sporting "event"---given there are 48 games in 8 different venues; ergo, "Semis Saturday" has always been chosen as a High Holy Day.  Last night featured a competitive first half in both games, but little suspense down the stretch as the best two teams in the country won handily.  Not sure when the last time (if ever) #1 and #2 (as ranked in the last AP poll---and by the selection committee now that they've started admitting to seeding the seeds) met in the finals, but the stage is set for a clash of the titans in the championship game Monday night---North Carolina v. Illinois.  Hard to believe the Illini have never won this sucker---much less that they've never played in a championship game. but even harder (if not down right mathematically impossible) to fathom is Roy Williams now having won 49 games in the tournament without a title!  Think about it.  A team can only play 5 games without winning the title in any given year, so...  Carolina is a 2 point favorite in the morning line, representing the true coin toss that the game is.  If Illinois goes 38 for 40 from behind the arc, they win.  If Sean May goes 24/18 (or some such), Carolina cuts down the nets.

...Oh yeah, I hit the pick six---every possible wagering permutation regarding both of last night's games was dead wrong.  Excepting picking Ohio as the pivotal state a year and a half before the '04 elections (check the archives), every other wager has left the guy at the cashier's window make the Maytag repairman look like a workaholic. 

...OK, take abortion off the table for just a moment.  President Bush has latched on to this "culture of life" line along with a number of other Republicans and assorted neo-cons;  the President made the reference in his remarks following the death of the Pope yesterday, and its tough to disagree.  Earlier, we were regularly treated to the notion of a "culture of ownership," which is also hardly disagreeable.  Now here's an idea:  why don't we try combing the two (its not an oil and water deal boys and girls) into a culture of "ownership of one's own life?"  Unfortunately, newly found Republican majorities have yet to attempt to stir the notions together.  Georgia gets its first control of the Governor's Mansion and both houses of the General Assembly for the first time since reconstruction, and they managed to further limit the ability of consenting adults to marry and divorce, and allow for inspectors to enter one's home at will to determine if one is smoking in one's own home office.  I'm uncertain if funding was passed for uniforms of crisp brown shirts and really spiffy black boots.

...Did you do your viewing chores this morning as instructed in the fine new events calendar featured in Suttle World?  Its OK if you're still getting accustomed to it.  Its really easy---just click and do.  What could be simpler?  You can always find out what to do when directly from the home page at the    WHAT TO DO, NOW! link.

April 2, 2003

...Underestimated by even his greatest admirers, John Paul II prevailed longer than any expected, and now begins what should prove to be a most interesting journey.  Tributes and biographies are best left to those with much greater knowledge and skill than I.  What I have found striking in the wall to wall coverage of the death of his Holiness is that in interviews with various members of the Catholic hierarchy, most have dedicated as many if not more words to celebrating the Pope's secular works as spiritual, explaining why so many of diverse faiths and opinion have appropriately stopped to mark the passing of this most remarkable of men.  Survivor of the Nazis, conqueror of the equally evil empire of the Soviet Union, an assassin's target, cancer survivor, Parkinson's patient and 26 years reshaping the Papacy would seem to merit a rest.   May peace be upon us all.

...With all due respect to the devout, life does go on---most notably in this evenings Final Four semifinal match ups.  6:06 tip off for the opener featuring Illinois and Louisville, where the Fighting Illini are a 3 point favorite.  The nightcap showcases Suttle World's most beloved North Carolina against in increasingly impressive Michigan State team.  The Tarheels are 5 point favorites.  I like Louisville and Carolina, meaning a two team parlay would pay a decent 2:1, but the more sure bet would be to take both dogs in a two team, 4 point teaser.  It'd only pay even money, but the safer play.  Perhaps an even better play, would be to take Louisville in the money line, that stands at +145 (close to 3:2) at this writing.

...Yep Suttle World is new and improved, with the home page layout altered a bit, and, more importantly, the addition of a calendar to make it easier for you to know what to do when.  Its just a start, with a dozen or so entries for only April, but be assured more than TV viewing is soon to be added.

April 1, 2005

...Just a hunch, but my guess is that the Vatican has spent most of the past several hours deciding on when to make the announcement of the Pope's passing.  10:00 (EST) would seem to appropriate.  North America will be fully awake and aware during what will be mid afternoon throughout Europe.  Further comment awaits the announcement.

...How's that Bell South Classic working out for you?  Two inches of rain yesterday washed out the first round, with 3-5 inches expected today.  Given the Masters starts next week, it is doubtful the tournament will go more than 54 holes or be cancelled out right; or at least those eligible to play at Augusta National will withdraw from the event.  The torrential rainfall has left Peachtree Creek up over two turds, and Bobby Jones (city of Atlanta muni for those not familiar) has instituted its lift, disinfect and place rule for the foreseeable future.  Is feces a moveable obstruction (damn, I'm funny)?

...We now pause for a moment of silent scratch and peck in memory of chicken king Frank Perdue, who died today at the age of 84.

...No big surprise, but the first quarter of '05 pretty much sucked for the market.  The bulls admonish us to wait for very positive earnings reports and a subsequent rise in the major indices.  Suttle World is sticking with its prognostication for a flat year for the DOW, though would very much like to be proved wrong. 

...Martha Stuart gets a year for making a false statement to an FBI agent during an investigation that never resulted in any other criminal charges against anyone.  Meanwhile, Sandy Berger steals classified national security documents, lies about doing same, and gets a $10,000 fine (less than 20% of the amount of money involved in the Stuart affair)!?!?!?!?  The moral of the story is if you're a bitch you go to jail.  If you're a Clinton crony the law is merely an inconvenience (see Whitewater, Vince Foster, Travelgate, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, perjury, secret health care policy hearings, et al---and that's just a start for the most dishonest, corrupt administration of the 20th century).  The hits just keep on coming.

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